39 Years Old, in UK, No Kids - United Kingdom, GB

Having loitered around this site for years, I...

Having loitered around this site for years, I finally decided to put my story on here after some posts and really lovely responses from ladies on the forum (thanks to all of you).

I am 39, live in the UK and don't have or plan to have any kids. Currently I weigh probably about 160lbs and wear a 32G-34H Uk bra size depending on brand.

My boobs seemed to appear overnight when I was 13 - from being more or less none existent to a D cup. They didn't stop growing for a few years and for most of that time I was wearing the wrong bra sizes which doesn’t help much.

Of course, being at school with big boobs is hideous, and school age boys find it endlessly fascinating, so I started trying to hide them quite soon. In fact, I recently realised to what extent I have been hiding them, even from my husband, maybe even from myself. I can't bear to see them ‘dressed’ without a bra, and always wear a bra until just before sleeping, then put one back on straight away as soon as I get up.

I am sure you are all familiar with the 'around the house' bras - you know, those stretched out not so supportive ones that are just there so that you have the minimal support but not feel to tightly strapped in? These bras don't look anywhere near presentable enough to leave the house in, and I have spent hours online looking for the perfect comfy house bra; i don't care what Bravissimo say, an ‘in-built bra’ in a top just doesn't do the job!

Anyway, in the last few years I started exercising, although running is difficult I am not one to let the boobies hold me back, so despite the pain and hassle I got into running and loved it. Long live the Enell bra - it is like fabulous tight armour!! (although the inside of that thing after a run is pretty gross, with the boobs all squooshed together inside with the sweat, haha!)

Anyway, the exercising has made me realise how big an effect these things have on my posture - my spine is curved at the top and I literally have a rounded shoulder look. I didn't realise it was the case, but when I mentioned to my husband I discovered he had already noticed that, but assumed that’s just the way I stand naturally. I hold this posture It is partly because the weight stops me standing straight but is mainly my way of hiding the breasts, and to be fair it does work, no-one believes my bra size when I tell them - they know they are big but don’t know quite how big! (don’t you hate that thing where you tell someone with 'normal' sized breasts your bra size, and they are shocked that they make bras in those sizes?!).

The second thing that exercising taught me is that when I started to take more notice of how my body feels, this feeling of neck pain, tight shoulders, bad, and endless pulled muscles is not normal. My PT mentioned to me that I should get a sports massage, and that was amazing! But I can't get rid of the feeling that this uncomfortable feeling should not be there. One fun thing we like to do round our house is that my husband stands behind me and holds my breasts in his hands (we joke that this could be his salaried job!) and while he holds the weight, I try to straighten my back and shoulders etc. It is AMAZING, the pain goes away, back still tight from years of strain, but I can stand straight and the relief is massive - anyone who hasn’t had the surgery yet, I recommend you should try it (just don’t ask a stranger!)

Also the headaches and migraines…. it is only recently I realised that it is possible that the migraines i started to get around age 15, and headaches that are now almost constant, could be related to the neck pain caused by holding up these boobies (I say possible, as I won’t know for sure until after the boobies have gone….)

So a while I plucked up the courage to go to my GP and ask if I could get an NHS funded reduction. Lovely doctor (very young and new) and to cut a long story short I went for tests, but only hit 2 out of 3 criteria or something so didn’t get funding. I know I could have carried on and appealed etc, but i gave up at this point and thought I would leave it there.

However, 3 years on the neck and back pain is worsening, and I feel so frustrated with the situation. I can see that the older I get the worse the pain is going to get, hand the harder exercise will be - I really do need to exercise if I want to carry on eating fabulous food! (I love food!).

Men staring, women staring, all the ladies on here all know the the score, and it makes you feel abnormal - you can ignore it, but for me, all that confidence goes again as soon as I see a photo of myself with one big boob across the front of my chest - the rest of me fades into the background really so I don’t blame people for staring to be honest, it is only natural (if very rude!!). Shirts? What are they? they are not for people like me! Bra shopping, so much fun, and tops long enough not to show my (not very toned ;)) tummy? Nope, these things do not exist!

Everyone here will be familiar with the above, and it’s a nightmare, but for me the main thing is to feel comfortable in my skin, I am not hoping for a model figure (well I am, but I am a bit more realistic than that!).


So, that’s the story until recently, when I booked my initial consolation with Mary O’Brien at Derby Royal. She was great, very much to the point, and answered all of my questions. She did all the measurements etc and says I am an ideal candidate for the surgery. I have to admit it was scary, to hear the details - pain I can cope with but I am a bit squeamish about the cuts etc. My husband was with me and the seriousness of it all really hit him that day.

After the consultation, it took probably one day for me to decide that I was still ready to go for it, knowing all of the risks and details. I have had to gently and gradually break this to the husband, as he is a real worrier and does not want me to be ‘cut up’ as he puts it. The having smaller boobs doesn’t worry him at all, and he completely gets the pain and discomfort issues, but that doesn’t stop him worrying. So another long story short(ish), he is now fully on board and of course he is going to be a big help in the weeks after surgery.

SO I BOOKED IT!!!!!! 22ND APRIL!!!!

Excited? Just a bit!!!

(ps. I will add photos at some point, but will need to work up the courage first :))

Ok, gritting teeth, adding pictures!

I hated taking these, ugh! Have put little explanations by each as I think they need them, and hope they are useful.

To give a bit of background, my posture is awful, and I only just realised. Think it is a subconscious effort to hide the chest area, but it doesn't look good I can see that, and also it could go some way to explaining why I have so much neck pain and back pain.

continued...

Here are the other pics...

Alcohol, bras, obsessing about the surgery & my new chair!

hi everyone

Ok, so this is my first real update since the initial review to which I have to see I was so pleased to get so much support and empathy from ladies on here.

Taking the pictures and posting them was difficult, but it is only fair to post them as most people do and I have found it helpful to look at others. In fact, it will be great to see before and afters, as sometimes the mirror can lie somewhat...

I always knew my posture wasn't great, but this made it soooo clear. I am trying so hard to work those back muscles now, and keep my back straighter during the day in preparation for when i have the op in April, when is should be easier, but hopefully then my back will be prepared for how it has to straighten. To this end, I am doing a trial of this chair for work: http://www.hag-uk.co.uk/products/hag-capisco/ - I am at a desk at least 8 hours per day, so sitting slumped in my broken ikea affair was not the best idea! This one seems really good so far. Really different, and makes you kind of perch on there. The best thing is that it has arm rests at the back which makes you really open up the chest area and tight the back muscles. I am trialing a few so will keep updating as to which is the best for posture.

I can't stop thinking about the surgery at the moment. I lie in bed at night thinking about it. When my husband thinks I am watching a film with him my mind is wandering to such a time that my back and neck don't hurt so much, and I can wear a vest top! I am not sure how I am going to wait until April for it, although I have waited so many years already you would think a 3 more months would be nothing, but it draaaaags! I am making lists of what to take to hospital, what I need afterwards, and I already ordered a genie bra - when that comes I will assess if I need any more straight off or whether to wait. I am not sure whether to get something front fastening too, then whichever of those fits after surgery I can get more of online. I am hesitant to get anything else really because how will I know if it will fit? My PS told me just to use my usual sports bras after surgery... seems strange to me. My sports bras are the panache sports one, which the back is pretty tight on so that it stays in place - so I don't think this will be comfy for wearing round the house, and also it has been cups (even a bit big for me now!) so the new boobies would be swamped. The other one I have is the Enell - it doesn't have separated cups and also is extremely tight - whether that would be ok after surgery I don't know, as the tightness is also in the band... I think the PS must think I wear stretchy over the head tight bras (as if!).

I am still alcohol free after what is now 17 days. I started this to get my drinking under control - not that I think it is a real problem, but I just noticed I have been drinking more than I think I should over time. Also I am trying to get as fit as I can before the surgery. The daily exercise is going ok. Even if I can't be bothered to go and run, I am doing hula hooping for at least 20 mins per day. Food continues to be a vice however ;)

Something else I thought of that I always wondered but does sound a bit silly.. I will say it anyway... do any of you find that the only place you are truly comfortable is in the bath ?! Lately i have started to think perhaps the boobs are the reason for me always having loved having a bath and staying in for ages! The back and chest are supported in a way they are not anywhere else, even propped up in bed. Perhaps this points to swimming being a good option for exercise I have not considered. I am a rubbish swimmer, but maybe I could get better. Although then I would have to find a swimming costume to fit, grrr...

Have a lovely day ladies, and once again thanks for the support, you are all so lovely on here and I check my email all the time new posts!

Bored with waiting & thinking too much? (apologies in advance for the typos)

hi everyone

I have been reading so many interesting reviews that I became embarrassed at how infrequently I have updated! Just not too much to say now, its all in my head really, as I think about the surgery and the after surgery tbh, all the time.

I am so sick of waiting already, but am filling that time with planning....

So I bought a Genie bra, and in my current state it is little more than a small, stretchy, ineffective hammock for my boobs ;) It is a medium but i am hoping it will be ok after surgery. It is just right around the ribs anyway so thats good. Also going to get a Royce one I think too, just not sure which yet... Would love a Marena bra, but they are harder to get in the UK than in the US, and being as I might have to send it back if it isn't right... Won't worry too much I read about one of you (sorry I dont remember who it was now!) who bought 6 and none of them were right so perhaps no amount of planning can guarantee me to be fully prepared! Regardless, I still have an ever growing list of things I need to do and buy (I like to plan, like chickens!).

At the moment my husband and I are planning the months ahead socially, work and holidays, as we do, and it has to fit round the surgery, which has brought up the question of who to tell. I told a some people, one friend who knows how long I wanted it and though she is completely flat, she is really understanding in fact. Another couple of friends, one being my ex personal trainer, so she knows the physical effects and really understands. Someone else I told said something along the lines of 'oh well if it is for health reasons' in a way that made me think that really she didn't think it was, and was judging me as vain. That might be paranoia, as I really don't want to think of myself as vain, and although I don't judge those who feel they want to have more cosmetic surgeries (I don't consider BR cosmetic at all) I personally wouldn't be comfortable doing that as I prefer to try and work from the inside to accept what I am and what I have physically. Easy to say, harder to do of course! That said, having a nose you hate, or crows feet on your eyes (getting those!), I get it that those things can get to you emotionally, I really do, because a no small part of wanting the BR is due to the psychological effects.

However the point I want to make is that when those psychological issues that come from the physical are topped off with daily pain and discomfort that effects everything every part of your life, the suggestion that this is a vanity issue is really quite galling.

I am aware this could easily turn in a big old rant, so will stop there, but suffice to say I am not sure who else I want to tell which brings me to my next hurdle... do I tell my mother in law? My husband and I are both quite close to his parents, who live a couple of hours away. I am not close to my own parents, and the MIL and I have had a big battle to get to be the good friends we are now. She is difficult woman in a lot of ways but very caring and supportive when you need it. I was hoping to tell the in laws, and anyone else, only if they notice and dont put the change down to weight loss. Probably I will tell them afterwards in fact. My in laws are the type of people who are quite judgemental about looks, and a lot of comments in the past have been made about my weight and every time I see them they see 'oh you look good have you lost weight' even if I haven't! MIL has normal sized boobs, and I know 100% that she will NOT get this, I know it! She will support me after the initial shock, but in the meantime there will be a lot of 'oh why don't you just lose weight' and worry about me dying in surgery and I know that they will try to dissuade me from going ahead. There is no going back for me, this is a life changing operation that I am 110% for, that's not the problem.

However, my other half is scared, really scared, about the operation and the recovery and I have spent months getting him to be fully on board. His controlling parents may well hinder my hard work and scare him more. He is understanding about my neck and back pain, and frankly I think he will be happy he doesn't have to massage my neck every night any more! However, the fear he has threatens to override that…

We live in a rural area and i dont have good friends who are close enough to where we live to rely on heavily. If the truth be told I dont want to rely on anyone but my husband as he understands me so well and I am a bit embarrassed to have help from others. I really need his support, not just physically for day to day stuff after the op (and I am really really bad at not being able to do things for myself!), but also emotionally as I have a feeling this is going to be the hardest thing for me. On the one hand, I feel I should tell his parents so that he has some support himself, which is what he would like and at the moment I have vetoed telling them at all. I think maybe I am being selfish to expect to 100% lean on him whilst stopping him from having someone to support him. At the moment I am expecting him to help stump up the money, support me beforehand, wait on me afterwards and do it all with a smile ;) On the other hand, if he tells the in laws in fact I think that what he hopes will be supportive could actually be a hinderance, as they will panic and get flustered and tell him to try and stop me going ahead. That will just confuse him and then we both have to deal with that.

Also I considered telling them like the week or the day before, because OH’s main worry is that he wants someone to talk to about it when I am in hospital (PS says 1-4 days). What if they freak out the day before though? I actually feel like we are both 40 this year, so we should be able just to deal with this together.

Am I over thinking this? Maybe I should have booked it sooner so I wouldn’t have time to think so much about everything!

Well my hands are freezing up and the laptop is on 13% so i need to wrap this up now. It is unbelievable how writing for you girls here on real self is so easy. Each time I write it kind of clarifies how I really feel and it is so nice to be able to do that. Thank you all again for all of your support.

Finally, I would like to say a big ‘congratulations!!!!!’ and get recovered soon to all the girls who have had recent ops - I have been thinking about you all and have been reading your reviews fervently. The pictures are great and really inspiring. Some of the accounts are so funny that I lie in bedding giggling so much noone would guess I was looking at a breast reduction forum!

xxxxx

OH OH OH - SPORTS MASSAGE!!!

all that ranting and moaning made me forget the best thing that happened this week! I had a sports massage on upper back and neck and it was AMAZING! Really anyone with big boobs and neck pain, if you haven't done this already book one now! It is the best thing I have done for myself for ages. It hurts a bit but afterwards I felt like a new woman - the days afterwards have been great, more energy, better posture and i feel kind of freer physically. Be warned, it is very tiring for a while afterwards that day, and strangely my eyes and face went all puffy (attractive!) but it was more than worth it. I am going to go at least once a month now.
x

18 days to go....

Hello everyone

I have been consciously avoiding real self for a while because I was getting just so impatient for my surgery to happen and finding it difficult not to obsess - but I am back now and ready to organise myself!

Some really fantabulous results around - have just been checking out other updated reviews and it is really encouraging for those of us getting closer to our own dates I think.

I almost have everything I need and am now about to choose what to eat in hospital - doesn't look promising. Have spent the last couple of months trying to get as fit as possible for surgery, and have shaped up a bit due to a big change in diet - lots more protein (I was veggie for 25 years... long story) and much less crappy carbs - i.e. something similar to Paleo in a way - 'clean eating'. Feeling amazing on it in fact, I didn't realise how badly i was eating, because I eat organic as much as poss, and dont eat much junk food or processed stuff, I thought that was ok, but seems I wasn't getting nearly enough protein and way too much bread ;) Anyway that has been a fantastic help (kudos to my new PT) in making me feel better, more energy and more ready for surgery.

Also I have been going for much needed sports massages - oh my giddy aunt, that is amazing. Really really helps with back, neck, posture, as well as overall well being. I dont think you realise what toll a big chest takes on you generally, I suppose in trying to keep them held up, and simultaneously some of us also trying to hide them (as if it was possible!), doesn't do the back much good. My physio told me not to take it the wrong way, but my posture is creating a 'dowagers hump'!! Apparently there is no permanent damage, as I can still still completely straight, but in old age if I carry on like this I will have a hump. How very lovely! Am trying to stand straight now anyway, which does tend to thrust out the chesticles in an alarming way, so I try not to do it in public to much ;)

Also I decided not to tell people any more about the surgery - dont like the reactions I was getting - although I have found a few people who really want to have the surgery themselves are very interested and of course more understanding. Otherwise, I am just keeping it 'in house' and people can think what they want afterwards. If i decide to come clean about why I have smaller boobies, I will do so at the time, if not, who is going to ask that question???!!

And finally, here is my list of things to have ready for hospital and just after (dont even get me started on my 'to do' list:

Magazines
Painkillers
Royce bra
Arnica oil for scars
Gauze
Herbal laxative
Baggy nightdress & leggings for hospital
Dressing gown for hospital
Tissues & wet wipes
Headphones
Phone & charger (playlists, podcasts & audiobooks)
Water
Pillow for car

Thanks again all of you for your support, it is going to be very much more needed as I get closer to the 22nd, regardless of excitement, I am still quite nervous on top, so it is much appreciated when I hear from others in different stages of the process.

Oh and Maz, I forgot to say when I commented on your new photos - nice puppy (the dog I mean of course!) I have put a piccy of my fur baby as my profile pic - about to eat a yoghurt (yes he is a bit weird!)

xx

Pre-op today!!

Ok so I am going for my pre-op in a few hours. Not really sure what this will consist of, but am going armed with a list of questions (as always!) and a picture of my Royce bra, which annoyingly has not turned up yet. Will also take a sports bra that personally I don't think it suitable (its one I use at the moment) but my PS did say I should use an old sports bra afterwards, so I am going to show her it just in case. It is very tight.

Also I am taking my list of supplements etc, to check they are ok to take:

Bromelain for swelling
Omega 6 & multivitamin I take all of the time
Multidophulis (am pretty sure these are ineffective with antibiotics, but will need them when ab stop to rebalance my stomach)
Arnica gel for later

Although I am very excited about the whole thing now, I am not really interested in this part, seems a bit boring, but necessary ;) Maybe we could go for a nice lunch afterwards... that would make it more fun!

Will update after preop :)

Post Pre Op!

Ok so the pre op was muuuch longer than I expected....

First I had a long chat with my PS, which was brilliant actually. She answered all of my questions as fully as I could have hoped for. Some of the questions probably were a bit silly, but I would rather ask than not (for example, does 'no fizzy drinks' before op include sparkling water!!) and she was happy to give proper explanations for all. I showed her my sports bra, which I didn't think was suitable for after the op, but she said it was perfect so what do I know! Also a pic of the Royce bra (which annoyingly has not yet arrived...) and also she said that was good. A couple of things I am really relieved about, firstly that the drains are definitely coming out before I leave hospital. Second, my stitches will be dissolvable, hurrah!!! I thought i was going back for stitches out later, so that is great.

Most of my supplements etc got the thumbs up (well, no thumbs down anyway - but I don't expect a doctor to actively encourage non prescription stuff hehe) - the only one that she wasn't keen on my taking was the Bromelain - because of the possible blood thinning. It could be that she is ok for me to take it later, thats a 'suck it and see' by the sounds of things.

Then I went to have blood taken - always a challenge with some digging around in my arms as the veins are deep or something, ECG, weighing and swabs galore.

The anaesthetist then came to have a chat with us, and I found out something else that I liked, that the drip wont be in for long at all, as soon as I can drink water freely (so I will drink like a fish as soon as I can manage it!). He was great, really put me and OH at ease and with that and PS being really good with all my questions, we both felt massively less worried about the whole thing. I do believe that my OH may have even been smiling at one point...which is a great improvement as he is more scared than I am about me going into surgery ;)

For some reason I am now worrying about something else instead.... What if I should have booked lipo under my arms as well? A lot of people seem to have that, but I am assuming that I can work it off with exercise and diet instead.... I hope so, I dont want to regret not doing both at the same time, although that was never my intention. But then, I guess there is always more you can do once you get your head round the surgery, maybe my eyes, muffins, arms..... But one thing I have always know for sure is that I need and want a breast reduction and lift, from being a young teenager.

Good luck to any of you about to go in, and good healing to anyone who is out the other side - i cannot wait to join you all over there!!!!

Bored...

... with waiting!

I should be working really, but haven't been able to concentrate thinking about surgery date. I think I have everything ready now, and most things packed in my bag ready for Tuesday. The only thing missing is my Royce bra for after surgery which is coming in the post on Saturday allegedly ;) I have another sports bra any way that the ps says is fine, but I prefer to wear the royce one as it looks more comfy, and it will be put straight on me before I wake up.

I have got the dog walking sorted (want to leave husband free for visiting me/looking after business for a few days...) so that's great, as I want the dog to be kept entertained so that he doesn't notice I have disappeared (he is a bit spoilt!). Even have a few food things frozen ready for next week to ensure I don't get ready meals all week. That said, a miracle has happened and my OH has spontaneously started to make our tea this week which I like. He loves cleaning (weirdo), but doesn't usually do cooking, so not sure what is going on but I am not complaining of course :)

Work has gone haywire, after 5 deathly quiet weeks - sod's law that it will happen that way, but I will work over the easter weekend and then things will be all ready for when I can't work.

Have had some of thinking time since I am prepared, and am not worried about the armpit fat/sideboob or whatever it is. Its part of the rest of me that needs to be a bit slimmer, but not something I am not too bothered about. As long as feel the weight of these boobies lifted I am going to feel so much better I hope. Am also really really looking forward to running again, but this time with a bit more ease, and to get properly fit. Speaking of which, I will try to find time to take some new pictures as I lost a little weight and want to get a good before and after surgery for you guys (and for me to look at later!!).

All in all, I'm ready, so bring it on!!

out of surgery, all good

just a really quick update, as i am too many painkillers to be able to write well - just wanted to let all you lovely supportive girls that I am out of surgery and all went well. sleepy time now, better update to come in next few days x

2 days post surgery already!

OK so I don't really recall writing the message above, so its probably good it was short!!!

Anyway, all good, I am at home in bed at the moment, although I have been up and about plenty round the house, and managing pain well.

So everything went really fast, and I can't believe I am at the other side already! The day of the op was a whirlwind. We had to get up and out of the house for 6.40am, to arrive for 7.30 to see the anaesthetist, who didn't turn up till 9am. My PS came in first, marked me up and talked me through things. Honestly, I was not really very nervous, only a little, although I had been a bit the day before more so. More than anything it was all a bit surreal.

The nurses and surgeon were all lovely, and I didn't have to wait long at all before being walked down to the waiting room for the theatre. Everyone else looked really scared, like I know I was the last time I had to have an operation, but I was quite happy just waiting.

The anaesthetists assistant came to take me in, and was quite excitable about it, as she had had the same procedure a few years earlier and said it changed her life - so it was really nice to be reassured like that just before going in.

I was asleep before I knew it, and the next thing I was awake and feeling really sick! Lots of people talking to me and I recall saying I had pain in chest and stomach, and them asking me to repeat it again and again. When I woke again I was in my room (a massive room by the way, with sofas and a big tv etc) and my husband was sitting on the sofa I think. I remember two things clearly, saying I didnt want a catheter when someone mentioned it... and a very kind person repeated that at intervals, I think to make sure they didn't put one in when new people came along, I'm not sure. But I am just glad I didn't get one! The other thing is that when I first woke up my brain was a bit befuddled, and I was completely convinced that there was a large sheep asleep under my bed and could hear it snoring! It seemed quite normal so i just ignored it ;)

So after that I just sleep and listened to the TV that my husband was watching over the other side of the room. I heard him asking questions of the nurses and remember he looked really relieved and said I didn't look too bad. The rest of that day was just sleepy, and I dont remember the pain after the initial wake up - although I was nauseous so had to have anti sickness stuff a few times. I insisted on getting up to go to the toilet, with help, and that made me actually sick but that just brought about the end of any nausea for the rest of the time really. The night was not great - the pain was pretty bad, and the nurses gave me different types of morphine etc. I knew they were going to wake me at 2 so didn't sleep up to then, then the pain got worse so it took a while to get that under control and get to sleep.

Yesterday morning was a difficult start, probably a lot to do with the fact that I hadn't slept much. PS came in first thing and told me that if I got up and about I was likely to be able to go home that evening. Throughout the day I got a bit impatient when it was painkiller time, and had to always make sure I knew what was coming when and what I could get extra! Seemed impossible to me that I would be able to manage that at home but it isn't, its just fine. I basically packed my bag before the surgeon came to make it clear I was off home, and it worked!

Oh, something I haven't mentioned that was possibly the worst thing about the whole time in hospital was my damned bra! I took along the lovely Royce silver bra, which is soft and lovely, but also the Enell sports bra -which is a tough, compression bra. The surgeon liked the look of the Enell at my pre op so that's why I took it for after surgery, as she insisted that was the best one. Well it was so tight, and seemed to get tighter during the day - it has always been tight, for running, but with the pain it was awful, however she said it was the best thing for swelling and healing and I should keep it on the whole week! Well when I had the drains out, the most painful thing about that was the nurses getting the bra back on - they couldn't believe how tight it was and both had to pull one on each side. So, I think they must have mentioned to the surgeon because when she came in the evening she wanted to look at it, and she saw it was making blisters and took it off my and put the royce one on - what a relief!! I have never felt so happy to take a bra off!

About the drains, I was all psyched up for the possibility of it being really painful having those out, and was pretty happy when I found out they would come out so quickly. Also the answer I got each time I asked if it would hurt was a suspicious sounding 'it will be uncomfortable' [nb that means yes probably!). I think the thought of it was worse that the reality though - the right side was really quick and nothing much to write home about, the left was in much further, so I really felt it come out. The thing to remember though is that it is so fast it is not worth worrying about, like taking of a plaster.

I am sorry if this is all coming out in a jumble, but I am just writing as I remember, and this is the first time I have not felt mashed by the codeine! I am trying to have just the Paracetamol this afternoon and evening so am a little more with it (although I may have the 10pm codeine to get me through the night).

Right so about the boobs! The strangest thing is that I was expecting to look down and be surprised, and I was, for about 10 seconds, and since then I just have felt like they have always been there - by 'there' I mean, high up!! I mean it really hasn't taken any getting used to, and I feel like just this is what they are supposed to be like. I expect there to be a period of adjustment, but maybe that will come later on.

I can't see much in the way of wounds, blood, etc, as the drains took most of the fluid and my dressings and pretty big and covered by the bra. I can look down the cleavage a bit, but nothing much to see there so I can't get any photo's yet. My dressings come off next Tuesday, so lets see how that goes... Hope it isn't too gory! Oh, and I have feeling in both nipples, so thats a bonus.

The thing that is really bugging me right now is that my stomach is not right - it is antibiotics (they always knock out my digestion etc) and the codeine which I believe causes the bloating and constipation. So I really want to get that sorted and have started taking the acidophilis to help put things right and hopefully can get off the codeine sooner rather than later.

Really hope this makes some sense and is helpful. Good luck to those of you about to go in, it will be over in a flash!

Thank you to all of your for your nice comments below, it was really nice to see all the congrats and good wishes coming in even though I wasn't able to reply properly xxx

taking each day as it comes :)

It is amazing what just what a difference a few days can make, and I am having to try very hard to hold back and not do too much today as I am feeling much improved.

I had a bath, almost all by myself, just with a little help for hair washing. Felt much better after that, until I realised I had to put the 'TED' socks back on. Don't recall anyone else mentioning this, but I have been given these attractive dark green compression stocking things that I have to wear 24 / 7 for two weeks. I dont mind how they look as I am inside at the mo, but they are sweaty and annoying, especially as I dont usually wear socks.

The pain is not so bad now, although I am taking each hour as it comes really because I can feel great one minute, then a little later been exhausted and in pain. Usually when it is around time for the painkillers. Have cut right back on the codeine though, which helps the stomach a lot. About the pain, I would say don't underestimate how painful it will be initially. Possibly I did a little, and I felt I was constantly pressing that buzzer for more painkillers in the hospital. The bad pain really doesn't last so long though so dont let it put you off - also, I am coming at this from the perspective of not having had any babies, and the only surgery in my life was a laproscopic appendectomy. All things considered, I would say the appendectomy was harder, which I would put down to not being prepared (I was mega prepared for this, both with my numerous lists and mentally!). Also I think just at the moment it is helping a lot to have my supplements, drinking stacks of water, and eating really well.

I am getting braver at looking at the new boobies - I am happy indeed! The PS told me just before that she really thought a small D would be better for my frame than a C cup, which I agreed to because honestly I wanted a big reduction, but I didnt want to be out of proportion and my shoulders are kind of wide, not Dynasty style ;O) but enough to need something big enough there.... I put my trust in her and felt it was the right thing to do that as she did give me the confidence in her ability and judgement. She also said there were several people, one of them the lady who had had her own reduction, giving their opinions on the size and shape, so I really thought that was reassuring. Anyway, it looks like I will be a D cup, and am in 34 D Royce bra now - D!!! I can't believe it! I am glad actually, because after the swelling goes down a bit, I do think that C would be a little small for me.

OH, and I tried on my favourite most beautiful cardigan, that has never fit me. It buttons up perfectly now so that's so nice.

One thing I am finding a bit difficult today, is that I have a different back pain; the strain on my neck nd upper back isn't there any more but lower down it is aching pretty badly. It could be the way I am propped up for sleeping, or perhaps the back muscle adjusting to the new kind of balance (and I do feel I have to learn how to balance when walking again!). We will see, that might ease off in the next week or so I hope.

Another sleep now I think, then I will need to ring that bell to get a new cup of tea!!

love to all of you, and congrats to those of you just coming out look forward to seeing you back here!

Arms

Oh, I forgot to say something else that has been quite important: my mobility generally has been good - moving my arms has been a lot easier than expected, I have a lot of mobility there, and can stretch etc (dont get me wrong, I am not doing pushups or anything!). Also working on that core must have helped because I can raise myself up without to much arms - that is actually easier than before (I was practising before!), I think because of the weight gone from there.

Crying, back sleeping, itching and cabin fever!

Yesterday turned out to be an emotional roller coaster. Unlike a lot of people on here I haven't taken an awful lot of notice of the size and shape of my new boobs until yesterday. Am wearing a really baggy tops, that are easy to put on, and even so it is very obvious to me how small they are. But I wasn't really taking it in... Yesterday though I started to pull in my top, looking from the side and front, and saw what a massive difference it makes to my overall silhouette. Before I very much felt like someone had pumped up my frontage with a bicycle pump, and it just always felt very wrong, like a big dfs sofa. It seriously looks like I have been deflated, in a good way! So I was getting quite excited about this, when the reality started to hit home, and I am thrilled about it. My husband has had many boring 'viewings' of me standing in front of him pulling my clothes about saying 'look, look', but I think it also just hit him yesterday too, as he was staring in a kind of surprised way at my side view saying oh yes, it really is a big change ;)

Anyway, that's all good but later on I started to think about a lovely jumper I had tried on, way too expensive, but it was absolutely perfect for me - it has lovely zig zags on, and a red stripe - colour and style just suited my style and colouring, and i really loved it BUT (there is always a but with big boobies!), the boobs just meant I had to try the larger size, and even when i got the size that fitted them in, they were just like on display, and completely ruined the overall effect. Hubby was there when I tried it too, and although sometimes he thinks I see the boobs more than other people do (not convinced that is the case...) he had to agree that it wasn't right. I didnt sulk, I am used to it, and you will all know that feeling. So I started thinking about that jumper, and I think it is now in the sale... I literally imagined trying it on in the shop, with hubby there, and that it will probably look amazing. Then I thought that I dont think I can try it on because I might cry, and then I started, and couldn't stop! I dont think I realised how much having these massive boobs has affected me psychologically until I suddenly saw them gone. It is true that the increase in back and neck pain was the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak, and I dont think I would have actually had the op if it wasn't for that. The reason being that I don't like to think of myself as vain person, or superficial, and in a way, I would think of myself that way if I had what is called 'cosmetic' surgery (although is it, really?!?) without physical (i.e. pain) reasons. I can see now that that is wrong, and I wish I had realised years ago that I didn't need to hold myself back from doing it, shouldn't have in fact. It isn't vain, for god's sake I don't even get my nails done or anything like that (partly laziness, but partly because my life is more dogs, wellies and gardening, than parties etc!). But, as an example, there is something very silly that I have always worried about since I was 15 or so - if there was a fire or flood in the house, would I have time to get my bra on before leaving? I wouldn't care that much in that situation if I was naked otherwise, as long as I had a bra on! How mad is that? And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Does anyone else have a massive sense of relief about stupid things like that, just not having to think about them any more? I can hardly get my head round it (and obviously I can't tell people this kind of thing, it is just not normal!).

On the other hand, I am only just financially able to have done this privately, which I am really glad I did. Also at nearly 40 I think perhaps I am more emotionally able to deal with the whole thing better than I would have been at 20. So all in all, I know I have done the right thing, in fact, I never had any doubt if I'm honest.

One thing that is puzzling me now is that I looked on other reviews and saw that most people had a lot more 'weight' taken out of their boobs than I did. Mine was 281 an 211 grams. 400 each seems average. I don't care about, as I can see there is a BIG change, and I am happy with the size don't get me wrong, it just makes me wonder if perhaps there was a lot more skin and 'lifting' than actual reduction, in comparison to others. Or does my breast tissue weight less?! seems impossible!!

And finally, I am planning a ceremonial bra burning! I have the Enell bra, which gave me blisters after surgery, but served me very well for running for years. It is so tight and hideously uncomfortable though that i won't keep it. then I have two remaining bras that are too tatty to ebay, so I am going to burn them all together when i feel up to it! I am not going to fall into the trap of trying them on at a later stage, we all know how confusing that can be ;)

Have a great day everyone. Happy healing to those on the other side, and good luck to those going in and just come out.

xxx

Good days

Yesterday and today have been good days.

I went out for the first time yesterday, just into town to for coffee and came back home quite soon as it was exhausting but it was great to get out in the sunshine and fresh air.

Today went to a local garden centre for a little while, then sat out with a magazine and watched my OH do some small garden things I usually do. lovely! Now I have been just sitting looking at magazines (gave up on tv and films a day or so ago!) and listening to music and it is very relaxing.

I had only one codeine tablet yesterday, along with the usual paracetamol and ibuprofen, and didnt have one at night as I had before, but still got through ok. No codeine today so far, and much less of the others. Also had antihistamine, that completely got rid of the annoying itching, which was a real godsend, couldn't do without that on hand.

I kind of expected that having done a bit more yesterday I would be more achey and tired and in more pain really first thing at least, but that wasn't the case. Must try hard not to let this give me false confidence and start doing too much - I am already wondering how long it will be until I can garden, train, bake, run, etc etc.

I took off the silly socks yesterday, but got scared and put them back on today ;) I will ask my PS on tuesday if I can take them off as I am walking about loads and see what she says. Speaking of tuesday, I am getting more curious as to what things will look like under there, as I haven't seen much at all, unlike some of you girls I haven't taken the bra off myself at all, and when it was done for me in the hospital I closed my eyes as I wasn't ready. I will be ready by tuesday, but am not sure whether I am excited or nervous or both! In a way, I don't know how much to really think about what the shape and size of my boobs is because I know there should be a lot of change to come over the next weeks and months, so what I see on Tuesday isn't 'end product' anyway. I am so happy with how things looks even with all the padding and surgical bra on, that maybe I don't want to see without...

Haven't done any measuring etc, like Raboobsel did! I really thought I would do that obsessively, but can't really be bothered I'm afraid, I am just happy to be smaller and thats that really. Even through the zinging pains and the annoying pain from the lower back still, the weight lifted from my shoulders is really obvious, so I can only imagine how good that will be in a few months.

Anyway, not such a long post today - I have button up shirts to peruse online!


xx

so so day

Today wasn't so good. Not awful, but no on as much of a high as I was!

Did a little work :[ - only from bed on the computer :) Mooched about the rest of the day a bit bored really, but did go out in the car (not driving myself) for a bit. I haven't had any painkillers all day, then realised about 8pm that it was getting quite bad so had a codeine.

One thing that has got me down a bit today is that I feel like my boobs are not much smaller than they were... now up until today I KNEW they were much much smaller, and all my tops are too big, yet today they look nearly the same as before in the top i have on... I am wondering if I have been a bit busy doing stuff when I shouldn't have and they have swollen, or maybe they would have swelled anyway. Either way I feel a bit odd about it. I have seen a few ladies say they are not happy with the size, but seriously I really was until this afternoon. Maybe I am just losing my mind!

Anyway, the dressings come off tomorrow afternoon, so we will see!

UNVEILED!!!

Today, I woke up in a mood ;) Was still feeling swollen and irritable and also quite nervous about having the dressings off today. However...

My PS and a nurse came to get me, and seemed really happy with how well I was walking and carry my bag etc.

They quickly got down to taking off the bra and dressings (I brought another clean bra to change into, as I have had this one on all week.) Bear in mind that I have hardly looked down my bra at all, and certainly seen nothing in the way of wounds or bloody bar the blisters from my first bra.

IT WAS AMAZING!!!! My boobs look so good I can't believe it. Sounds odd, but in a way I expected when everything came off that my old boobs would be there underneath - I know I am a bit mad sounding, but that's why I was so surprised when these fabulous new chesticles miraculously appeared from underneath the bra!

The wounds were healed really well, hardly even a bit of blood on the dressings at all (even though these are the same ones that went on straight after surgery). My PS did explain to me how she did something with nerve endings that helps make sure not fluid and blood come out, even in the drains. I didnt take it in exactly, but I am thrilled that it did the job.

There is a little yellow bruising, and when I say a little it is really a LOT less than I expected. The was a little dried blood, but again, it is almost unbelievable how much it has healed. It wasn't a bit shocking and I had been dreading it if I'm honest (at the same time as being excited if that makes sense), but for no reason at all, it was great. I was a little faint at times, simply because of the exertion of getting up and ready this morning chatting to a friend who came round, then the journey in the car. The nurse and my PS were saying how great they thought I looked, and completely agreed, although it was so surreal I was almost speechless really and must have seemed a bit gormless, what with the brain fog I have at the moment when tired!

We did the undressing behind a curtain as my hubby was there and I wanted to see it alone first (if it was too gory I wouldn't have shown him yet). He couldn't stand the suspense and asked to come and have a look, and seemed really impressed ;) However, although I know how won't say it, I know he will need time to get used to the new me, as will I I guess.

So, happily I now have nice clean dressings on, clean white Royce bra, and am confident now taking the bra on and off to have a look. Although I am supposed to keep it on all the time anyway. She prefers I carry on bathing the way I have before, because the dressings are just 'splash proof' so she doesn't want me to get the wet if I can avoid it. That works for me anyway, as long as I can go in the bath that's fine.

I am sorry i haven't put pictures up yet, but I have exhausted myself now and need to find a bit of time when i have enough energy. I don't intend to ruin the good recovery I have had so far by overdoing it now.

Hope you 'after' ladies are all happy and healing well, and if you are 'before' then you have a lot to look forward to!

x

Here come the pictures!!

So here are my pictures. I can hardly believe this is me, it is still a bit dreamlike!

I will go and have a look in a minute to compare myself, as I haven't done that yet :)

Just a bit of info, ok so I took them in similar positions to before, so that you can see the overall difference. I will put on the same clothes later on too, to compare in that stripy top, as that is what i found most useful. I do have an idea now why people don't do that so much - because all the tops look a bit shapeless and I don't feel I want to put them on so am just wearing 'lounging' stuff. Also moved my arms about a bit so you can see other areas.

The red blotches above the breasts, and round the sides, are blisters and little blemishes from the tight bra I had on initially, and from where my current bra digs a little on particularly swollen days. (although this is no more than my day to day bra marks, so not complaining there!).

Under the right breast is what looks like a mole, but it is just actually a blister from last week, the Enell bra again, which got rubbed a bit. Looks a bit manky but doesn't hurt.

Both are swelled up a fair bit on the sides, as you can see. They were smaller there a couple of days ago. The PS says this is normal swelling though, nothing more than expected.

For anyone look for 'after' results to get an idea what to expect, I would also say that my breasts before were set quite wide apart, and still are. These things are more noticeable once you start looking at them all the time (like I do now!). This is part of what my surgeon told me about the shape etc being very much determined by what you already have, so this is almost exactly what I expected (but nicer in real life!). I think at the start of my research I may have had the idea that it would be like choosing new breasts from a catalogue, and replacing the old ones with those ;0) Obviously that is mad, but this way they are going to look like my own breast, in fact they are starting to already....

Posture: I think from the side views that my posture looks a bit better but needs work still. The pics were taken without my pulling shoulders down etc, and I haven't yet taken any with 'improved' posture as I did for the before shots. This is with no effort at the moment, but I do feel that it is better regardless.

Size: they are bigger at the sides than they will be, I can even feel it swelled up there. However, I am extremely happy with the size, if they stay like this, or go down a bit, I am happy. I expect to be D, small or large D I don't yet know. Oh, I should also say that the bit under the bra, ribcage, is really quite swollen. It isn't very obviously from the pictures, but is with the bra on (am usually 32, this is a 34d and is tight). What happened was, after I said I wanted a C cup, my surgeon gently said 'yes, C to D', and I was going to insist on a C cup, but realised that I didnt really know what a C cup was like!! So after discussion, on the day of the surgery, she said a little more assertively 'I really think a D cup is right for your frame, are you happy for me to trust me on that?' - I said yes, and am SO happy I did. I now realise that however much weight I might lose in the future, and however small my ribcage is, or is in future, my shoulders are relatively broad, so smaller would mean I would not be curvy at all. It is tempting to just go really small (and that is right for some people) but I never wanted that, curvy works for me, its just pumped up like a DFS sofa like before that doesn't!! I liked my PS a lot, and trusted her, so I now see how vital that was.

Hope this helps, and hope you think I look ok, its a bit scary!! xxx

Bored

Pain is different today, no worse, better in fact first thing, but there is nipple pain which is quite different to the general aches. Not complaining, its ok, and I haven't had to resort to codeine yet today and will only do so if I can't sleep.

I sent my OH out tonight to a soiree he wanted to go to, and wanted me to go along to also - I was tempted but thought I better hadn't as it could be a long night and I am tired today. He has been AMAZING since my op, answering my every call for water, coffee, chicken with spinach, it must get tedious ;) I didn't think he could actually cook, but now that cat is out of the bag! I really miss cooking myself, but it is really good for us both for me not to have complete control of the kitchen and such like, a nice break for both in a way. It is highly likely that I am a control freak! For some reason I was really worried about him coping, as if he is a child and not a grown man, which is ridiculous. Although the dog is getting very fat I notice... Usually we do almost everything together, so it is very boring for him being in here all the time as I can't do much, so it is good that he is out.

However, amongst all the other ups and downs, now, as I previously anticipated, I am really really bored! I can't focus on books, the magazines are all read now, and am sick of tv and films. Am considering making a cake... it wouldn't be strenuous really, as the mixture is already there, i made it a week ago - but if I make a cake, then I would obviously have to eat the cake ...

Trying not to think about the boobs, as I start to worry about things, and obsess over stuff, so I am more or less chilled at the moment just keeping my mind as occupied as possible.

In a mood again

Had a lovely morning, went out for breakfast, slow saunter round town.

Then decided it might be a nice idea to try on some clothes in a nice shop.... hmm, it wasn't.

Although I must admit that things look much better, more streamlined, less 'look at my boobs' which thrills me ;) I have found that I am completely and utterly clueless, as I have no idea what I like or what suits me. I wasn't expecting to suddenly be a supermodel who can wear a bin bag and look good, but adjusting to a new shape is more difficult than you might think until to have to do it. To the onlooker there is probably barely any difference, but I feel like aliens took away my old body and replaced it with a strange new one I don't know what to do with!!

Every item of clothing I have bought in the past has had the primary criteria of 'hide or detract from boobs'. What i pick from the shelves in the first instance, is always based on that, and what I like comes after. Although I thought I had very strong views on my style (love bright colours and unusual stuff) I stood in that shop like a frumpy 40 year old who has never been shopping before!!! My husband was with me, and gave me honest opinions, which he always does for better or worse ;) And insists that he will go back and buy a jumper for me that I couldn't have before because it was 'booby' and now it isn't. I just couldn't see it, but he says it is amazing and really suits me, but I was sulky and wanted to go home.

First world problems I know, and feel a a bit silly, but I am put off now and feel like my baggy tops are here for a while to come.

I have had a 'shopper' come with me for the day before, so I may just have to do that, as I found that to be brilliant, and actually saved me money as I didnt buy things that I won't wear. Only two tops in my wardrobe still fit, and dresses I loved so much are just ridiculous now, so I might do that later - but it will be ages before I am ready for that kind of exhausting day out :(

Partly this mood is of course because I am too tired, and hormonally challenged. Should have knocked the shopping on the head sooner. Also my sides ache. boo.

Good some good new magazines though, looking on the bright side :)

surgical bra

oh, and I forgot to mention, i don't recommend clothes shopping in a surgical bra !

Feeling fantastic!!!

Have had the in laws round for the last few days which is why I haven't updated - its not really fair to only update my review when I have to get a bad mood off my (small) chest!

If you have read my review from before the op, I was unsure whether to tell my MIL about the surgery, for a variety of reasons, and decided to wait until afterwards if at all. So, it had to come out in fact as she tried to give me a massive hug soon after they arrived so I had to screech 'please don't squeeze!!!!' - kind of gave it away ;) She was a little upset I think that I didnt tell her before, but I explained that it isn't a easy thing, and then later showed her the new boobies in all their glory so that made up for it I think! She was very impressed in fact, and said she really thought I had done the right thing, so that was nice.

After my shopping nightmare I just got into relaxing clothes and stopped thinking about it; was a little miserable but watched crap TV for a day or two and things evened out.

Had a breakthrough on Saturday night when I changed into my Genie Bra. I think the discomfort of the Royce at the moment was making me a bit moody. The royce was great to start with, but I have swollen at the sides and underneath, and on top a bit and I can just feel it so much rubbing on there that I couldn't stand it. The Genie is great, but I need to check I should be wearing this all the time, as there is not so much support. I change into the Royce at night anyway, to keep things 'safe'. This change of bra has really REALLY cheered me up. I cannot describe how much ! I think that pain can be dealt with if necessary with painkillers, but discomfort is a bit different - kind of grates on you when it is constant.

So, today and yesterday have been so great. I have done lots, but slowly. Nothing extravagant, but just enjoying feeling more like me again. Today, if it wasn't for the feeling in my breast, (which by the way is really minimal) I wouldn't know I had major surgery less than two weeks ago. I even made that cake (well, lots of little madeleine cakes). I still feel it is necessary to have hubby do the very 'stretchy' things, and obviously the lifting or heavy carrying is a no-no, but I know what i can do easily now. Some things, like lifting my arms above my head, I can do, but it doesn't do me any good and I know about it later - just cos something doesn't hurt doesn't make it ok.

So mood = good, Pain is fine, haven't felt I want to take anything for it - there wouldn't be any point.

My stomach is better, thanks to prunes and acidophiolus. My back hurts, in odd places, which I think is my posture sorting itself out. I stand straighter a lot (not all) the time, almost instinctively, so my muscles are probably getting a work out.

Husband is having a rest now, due to overwork apparently ;)

The only bad points really at the moment are 1. Back sleeping and 2. I have not been eating properly 'clean'. Naughty!

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend / bank holiday and feeling good and happy x

(ps. did I mention, i have GREAT boobs!)

xx

Bra Burning

Did this last night, was great fun, but brought a little tear to my eye (in a good way!).

God only knows what the neighbours think ;)

missing pics

pics didnt upload on the last post for some reason - here goes again...

slow days..

I am paying for my great weekend now I'm afraid! Nothing major, just more pain due to swelling which tells me I did too much, particularly on BH Monday. Oh well, thats a lesson (it was worth it to feel normal for a while anyway!).

So I am taking it slowly for a few days now. Although I am back at work as of yesterday, I work from home so I just do as much as I can and as soon as my brain fog reappears, take a long break. There is nothing physically strenuous about my work so I am lucky. Although it is surprising how much a couple of hours on the computer can really tire the side areas, under the arms and sides of boobs.

I am wearing the Genie bra more and more now, although I do try to change back into the Royce for a time, I think while I am this swollen it is just a bit small and the position of the band rubs on the incisions. So for the sake of comfort and sanity I will generally keep the Genie on. Will ask the PS about that on my next follow up which is Friday.

Really wish I had been given the ok to take Bromelain. It sounds like it is doing wonders for many people, but my PS gave me a definite no because she isn't happy with the blood thinning properties. I will go with her advice because I feel everything has gone pretty smoothly so far so don't want to jeopardise that. Maybe I will ask again, but she is probably getting sick of seeing this little jar come out of my bag by now! Will also ask for her recommendation for Swelling as I am not seeing any improvement yet.

FYI: Back sleeping is improving, a bit ;)

Nothing much more to report. I would advise about after surgery bras, get at least one band size bigger than you currently are - even two ,which would have been good for me. And one cup size bigger than you are expected to be afterwards - I am in a D, but I think I expect to be a D after swelling and could do with more room. Don't get me wrong, this fits very well and will be great for when the swelling goes down a bit, but even the tiniest rub on the top of the breasts at the moment feels like sandpaper.

Oh, and again DON'T FORGET YOUR PILLOW. I still use mine when I remember in the car now. The bumps in the rural roads here are a killer!

x

Dressings off!

So I didn't update for yesterday as I wasn't very happy. Basically Tuesday and wednesday were a little difficult just a lot more pain, and I was back on the Codeine, which in turn makes the stomach feel bad, and bloated so that lasts a couple of days as well. No pain killers yesterday though.

Today was my second post op. I was again in more pain this morning than usual, which seems a weird backwards step but I suppose thats the way it goes sometimes.

The dressings coming off really cheered me up though! I didnt realise that they would come off entirely today, but now I am just in steristrips which is great. All the area is cleaned up, and I think the scabs removed (I didnt look at them tbh until the nurse and doctor had finished). So I have seen my new breasts in their full glory now for the first time, and they look really good. I am a bit achy and tired now, after doing a bit of shopping too, but will do pictures as soon as I take of the steri strips after a shower. The incision bits don't look at all bad, they look clean and dry and barely any scabbing or bruising - just some yellow round the nipple area. Its a bit flakey (nice!), and I have a minor rash from under the dressing glue as my skin can be a bit sensitive, but nothing to worry about. Very happy!

I can now wear any bra that is comfortable, preferably not underwired though. I went directly to Primark and bought to alien items ;) Not literally, just not something I am used to looking at! One 'fake' genie bra - it is a large, so is pretty stretchy and comfortable, but not sure if that is going to be for wearing other than round the house, as I feel I want a bit more support for the incisions really. The Other is a stretchy bandeaux type strapless thing! It has formed cup inserts and fits perfectly. Not sure where and why I would need such an item but I bought it because I can!!! I am excited to get bras, but until I know my real size am not keen to buy anything that costs more than primark prices in case they are temporary. Am not really feeling like trying things on yet either, so it is purely guess work until then. I find all the raising my arms and twisting really has a bad effect later in the day so prefer to avoid that for now.

So, all in all, bad day turned good after all :) I am learning that the only way is just t take each day as it comes, and actually sometimes a bit of activity when you don't feel like it can be good, as long as it isn't too much. It is easy to become a bit maudlin if you sit in bed or on the soft for long periods. just a short walk with a happy dog usually does the trick. Lets see what tomorrow brings.

Hope you are all doing well, and congratulations to all the new 'small booby' ladies today!!

TMI below:
Oh, one more thing, as I am really getting everything down here in case it is useful for others - Prune Juice. It is fantastic for the constipation caused by pain medication HOWEVER, it might be best to 'test the waters' by starting off with just a little. I completely put it out of my mind, but just a day after I got home I was still on the Codeine and I had what I would call a medium sized glass of prune juice - there was an 'incident' a little later that you don't need details of, but needless to say it worked a little too well. And on that note I will sign off so that I get on with some intensive netflix watching ;)

new soft cup bra - 34D !!!!!

New pics above. The first few are from the morning, second lot from the afternoon.

Firstly, if you notice the black bits at the tops, bottoms and sides, they are generally not bruising, they are sticky stuff I can't quite get rid of from the dressings - feel a bit like an ikea storage box! The actual bruising is yellow - round the nipple mainly. Also, You will see in the ones without bra that there is a crease on the left breast that is not there in in the morning ones. That's because I didn't put my genie bra back on properly after trying stuff on and it creased. So if I was in any doubt that there is still swelling, I know now that there is and the imprint from the rumpled bra was pretty severe at first!

I think they look more natural that a couple of weeks ago, and am very pleased with that. A natural crease is starting to form underneath too which I like. Still very swollen on both sides, and a bit on top, but it is getting better.

So I went to M&S today and tried on a couple of soft cup bras. They were basically just like training bras you get when you first develop, but I am quite happy to be wearing nice plain white cotton. Makes a nice change to the big frilly monsters I had to have before. I didnt get a fitter to help, just grabbed a few sizes and tried a couple. I got a bit confused in the changing room when I took out the first 34D - I seriously looked at it and laughed, thinking they have got this in the wrong box. I checked the label, and it also said 34D, and even though I KNOW I am around that size, my brain would simply not accept it. So I looked at it for a while, then put my arms through and put it on - it was actually a bit big! I tried a 34C on, and it seemed to fit, but for some reason I decided to get the 34D. The actual reason I think is because I have so many times had bras that I tried on in the changing room and got them home and they are clearly too small. So that's why I got the bigger one. Sounds illogical, but I couldn't get past it. Now it looks to me when I have it on like the front bit is quite wrinkled, like it is a bit big - I would very much appreciate anyone giving me an honest opinion, as I can't trust my own eyes/brain right now! You can see in both side and front pics where the wrinkling is. Honestly I am not usually this crazy ;) but I felt completely lost like a teenager buying a first bra, and the ladies there were too busy to help. Anyway the great thing is, they can be easily exchanged, and they were just £9.50 for TWO!!! That is mental! Its a good job I have to narrow it down to soft cup bras, as there is so much choice, and for cheap!

Had a full day out yesterday, and today, and feeling fine on it. Had more energy the past couple of days which is great. I do tend to feel like my boobs have been out and run a little marathon on their own later in the day though - all achy and pulling a bit. Does anyone else get that? Like they get tired as the day goes on?

I have also now dug out the Arnica gel, but am not sure where to put it. I thought it was for scars, so was going to wait until I was 100% sure the incisions were closed then apply it there - but it says on the packet that it is for 'muscular aches and pains, stiffness, sprains, bruises, swelling' - I must have got confused, so I guess I should use it on the swollen parts. Bruising isnt so much of an issue.


Lots of hugs to everyone and hope you all had a lovely weekend (though wet, in the case of UK residents!)

Life is a roller coaster...

... or at least recovery from BR surgery is!

Not to complain, but today is not great like yesterday was! I am starting to see a pattern though, after a weekend out and about, there seems to be a lot more fatigue and pain at the start of a new week.

I felt worse on waking up this morning, though i did get up early and do stuff, with the help of some painkillers, I have been worse than useless at work, so back to bed this afternoon. It hurts my chesticles when I walk around with them (hard to walk around without them!) so I am staying still for now. Its soooo boring though. I am too tired to do anything but not tired enough to sleep, boo.

Some nice chocolate has arrived with the shopping today though - chilli and lime flavour - but I said i was going to eat clean now, no more slacking (or snacking should I say!) :)

I think I forgot to mention that the Zingers started a day or two ago - I thought I knew what they were at the start.... but no, I didnt. NOW I know what they are for sure! Like having a knitting needle shoved into your ribcage. They end so fast though that it feels like it was imaginary!

Also should mention that for me the 'brain fog' is much improved. It comes on a bit when physically tired, but nothing too bad. Funny thing: I discovered today that the audiobooks I have on my iPhone are on 'shuffle all' - this means that the chapters have been playing in the wrong order.... I thought that I just wasn't able to focus my brain, and that's why the stories were so confusing!!!

I need a hair cut and thought about doing my own, but saw this video today -
http://failsofpinterest.com/category/pinterest-beauty-fails/

Did I mention I am bored?!!!

hope you are all doing well today, and all getting a step closer to normal life xxx

So much changes in 2 days...

Yesterday was, officially, the worst day I have had in recovery. Just awful.

Firstly, the pain was as bad as week one, as soon as I woke up, so that didnt start well. I am really not keen to take codeine, which is the strongest pain killers I have, as that messes up my stomach, so sticking to the ibru and paracetamol, but not happy being back on any.

Secondly, I was so frustrated and bored, and wanting to GET OUTSIDE AND RUN AROUND or something else i can't really do. I was in such a bad bad mood (which I just realised was partly PMT based duh!!!).

A consequence of all of this was that I consumed all available chocolate in the house, and bread, and staffordshire oatcakes. This worsened my mood as I felt rubbish that I am getting back on the bad carbs so easily after having weened myself off them so carefully a few months ago.

And finally, husband not in a good mood either, and I can hear him complaining about crockery left out etc, which is obviously me. Result = big argument. Then, me feeling guilty, because although he was the instigator due to mumbling complaints, I am always the loudest! also guilty that the dog looked upset :( Actually we both felt much better after letting off some steam, so all is well really, it is just a sign of the pent up frustration from weeks of mooching about, but isn't very nice at the time. We had a nice talk about he forgets how bored and frustrated, and sometimes in pain I am, and I forget how much he is having to do for me all the time. Apparently he thought i liked having stuff done for me - I don't, I hate not being able to do some things. Although now i know that he kinda likes looking after me, but wants to feel appreciated, I might not mind as much.

The pain in the evening was also the worst it has been for a long time, more like on day 2 or 3 - or maybe I am remembering it wrong...

Today, things changed as I woke up with considerably less pain, and more energy : enough to do 2 hours work, a trip to Ikea, 2 more hours work, walk in sun with husband and dog, make a chicken salad then 1 more hour of work! How is that for a difference? I am in bed now resting, but feel I could get up and faff about in the kitchen if i wanted to. But I will stay here to ensure I don't over do it - I don't feel I have though.

There is some pain this afternoon, and I have had pills around 2pm, but haven't felt the need to have more yet. Swelling is average - still getting imprints on bottom from rumpled bras so clearly they are swollen. This morning I changed some of the Steri strips that were peeling off from the shower. They were round the nipple, and actually underneath there it really looks good, so well healed i can hardly believe it. I am working up to changing all the steri strips and will do that after a shower one day and take a photo so you guys can see the healing - would like to get some other honest opinions. On that subject, the strips are not dirty looking so I haven't changed them as they didnt come off in the water, but I wonder how often do other people pull them off? I tend to feel that what i have been doing seems ok so I should carry on that way, and also the PS was quite picky about me not touching too much so as to avoid getting germs in I think and causing an infection. So maybe when I do change the strips I should gently clean with a Hibiscrub solution - does anyone else do that? I forgot to ask at the surgery.

Off to write my thank you cards to my PS and the nurses now. I wanted to do this ages ago but just got them. I really feel everyone provided a great service, and I never once felt unsure or left 'flailing' as I did in a hospital in the past. Everything was fully explained to me, and there was no end of reassurance for me and husband, which made the process a lot easier than it could have been.

Goodnight lovely ladies xxx

days 23 and 24

A couple of days ago when I was bored and frustrated and starting to sit around eating bad food, I decided to get some advice from my personal trainer from before (obvioulsy she won't be my trainer again for a few months). It was really useful, she basically said re food that I can either stick to clean eating but be less strict without worrying, because I need to give myself a rest, or that i can just knock it on the head, eat as I want, then we will work to get rid of extra weight and carb cravings when I can train again (3 months). This made me realise that I actually WANT to eat 'clean', it isn't just for losing weight but because I feel better that way. So that is what I am doing, eating clean but not being so hard on myself if I have chocolate or something.

She also said I should be doing walking as much as possible, to get my fitness back. I realise that I have been sitting around too much for fear of overdoing it - I am very much 'all or nothing' with most things, so i was scared that once I start I might do damage. So I am going to work very hard to take it step by step and started by doing 'round the block' with hubby and dog yesterday (round the block here is 90 minutes of country lanes!). Was great, and I was tired, but feel much better for it. My OH said my face looked 'better' - I didnt delve deeper into what that meant!

So I am going to try to do something similar each day when I feel I can, not lounge around so much :) I am quite excited by the prospect actually, as I am really missing exercise now. As long as I keep to just moving the legs mainly, that can't do any damage, all i can do is tired myself out. I just need to not look at the garden though, as it looks sorry for itself but I really can't do that, too much heavy work...

However, before the fun of the walk, I had an embarrassing 'incident'! I decided to have a bath and allow the steri strips to fall off a bit as I was planning to remove them all and replace. Partly because they were a little grubby, but more really because I wanted another look at how they were healing. I have only really seen the incisions fully once, last Friday, so I want to get used to them.

I removed all the strips, and it all looks good, a few small scabs that are falling away gradually and the lines themselves look so well healed. The left 't-junction' strip was a bit hard to get off, but slowly i did it, and it was a small scab that came off, but then started to bleed, just a very little bit. As all of you who are post surgery will know, the t-junctions are the 'worst' bits in regards to how they look, so this that I hadn't seen before, and the bit of blood, kind of freaked me out. But I carried on and took the rest off and all was well. Went to get my phone to take some photos, and when I sat back down the room started spinning, my vision went funny and I had to sit on the floor because I knew I was about to faint. I shouted hubby to bring water and sugar. He is used to this, as I faint easily and we know how to stop it when it starts, so he rushed upstairs to find me sitting on the floor, naked, with no steri strips on! He thought I had done some damage so was looking all around my breasts before I explained. So anyway, long story a bit less long, I had to lie down for a bit, then eventually got cleaned up with Hibiscrub solution and put the new steri strips on and all was well. That little bit stings slightly, but nothing major, it was just a bit of a shock. Also my period started and that does something to my blood sugar or something and I often get a bit fainty at that time, so probably not the right time to start fiddling with the steri strips!

Unfortunately I didnt get the pictures because of this, so you will have to take it from me that everything looks good, healing well on the wounds, and swelling has gone down a lot. There isn't really much bruising to speak of either.

Anyway, it was such a beautiful day, so hubby brought me a cup of tea, two chocolate digestives, and I was ready to roll an hour later for the walking!

Mentally I feel much better now than I did. I realise a lot of it was PMT, so that's gone now. Also I think there was swelling caused by PMT too, so obviously that didnt help. One interesting thing is that I fully expected my periods to be a bit messed up, not on time, maybe a bit heavier, which I am prone too - not at all, just the same as usual, bang on time. Strange.


The pain is kind of consistent at the moment, less in the morning, bit achy in the evening, more so if I have been more active. The zingers are currently not happening.... Another thing I have decided is that I am going to be less strict on myself with painkillers. I know they are not good to have all the time, and I feel better in some ways without them. However, I think I have been withholding them too much lately, and the pain has made me a bit grouchy and reluctant to get out and about, which really is the best thing for feeling generally better. So although I am not having the codeine unless for emergencies (like the steri-strip disaster!), I am going to have ibuprofen and paracetamol when I need it. One good thing I suppose is the these strong painkillers also kill the period pain, which I suffer from pretty badly, so every cloud!

As it has been over 3 weeks now, if I didnt work from home I would almost definitely be back at a 'job' by now. It makes me wonder how well I would do with that. I work at the moment, but it isn't too busy right now, so it is just on and off and I can go out and do stuff, or lie down whenever I want as I am at home. I am not sure how well I would cope in an office environment - but then it does seem to improve things when I am out and about more, so maybe to keep moving and interacting with people helps with recovery in some ways.

With regards to bras, I am not sure that white one on the picture fits really - when I have a top on with it, I can see the wrinkles round the nipple. this is confused by the fact that both nipples, more so the left, are almost permanently erect which adds to the strange look! I only wore the bra for one morning, and found it is not comfy enough for all day yet. I am used to the genie bra, so can't face anything that rubs on the incisions at all. I have been trawling the net for bras, but as I can't know my size yet I don't want to make any (more) mistakes so think I will wait before getting anything. I have waited this long I guess.. I am so excited to buy things though!!! Might bid on some 'new without tags' bras on ebay to get some cheap bras in different sizes that I won't mind later if they don't fit...

thanks for listening to my ramblings once again!

x

Day 26

Hi everyone

Hope everyone is doing well.

I can't believe it is nearly 4 weeks now! It has been a crazy journey so far, but things are looking more like back to 'normal' every day.

The pain is fine now, no real problems and I just take a painkiller if I feel so achy it makes me grumpy. Tiredness is very much improved since i started my fast walking every day. If I do that first thing I am then able to carry on doing stuff the rest of the day with more energy. As an example, yesterday I went for a moderately fast 20 minute trot around the lanes with the dog, and the rest of the day i was out and about in the countryside, and walking about town. Then came back and sunbathed, in a bandeaux bra and knickers (I need a bikini!!!). So that is a massive improvement in the amount of stuff I can do. I try not to slope back to bed even if tired, I rest on the sofa to see if that works first. The lovely weather here helps for sure!

Day by day I am less tired in the evening. Definitely recommend a little exercise for both physical and mental well being at this stage. I was a bit scared of overdoing it before, but realised that laying around the house wasn't improving things.

Had an accidental look at the sides of my incisions, when some of the tape came away and I had to replace it. Those bits look really good, like scars now instead of cuts, which is great.

All in all things are good. I have only a couple of niggles - the first is that my tummy looks bigger to me now with smaller boobs. Its not massive, but bothers me a bit. I think partly the clothes I have are not highlighting the right bits - they obviously are 'breast hiding' tops etc, and this seems to mean they now hide my boobs where I now want to show them off, but show off my tummy... hmm, not exactly what I want now! Anyway I am saving up to go on a shopping trip in 3 weeks, so trying not to worry about that. I need to get the eating back under control, it still isn't working. Going to go and prepare the food for my day today so that I don't just get hungry and shovel bread in ;) I think I may go through the carb withdrawal again, but if i need to, i will just do it (you are witnesses, it starts here...) At the end of the day I feel so much better after clean food, so I have no idea why I ate lots of bread and a slice of daim cake yesterday ;) Its not an excuse, but I felt bloated anyway because of the Codeine I took 2 or 3 days ago, so I just thought sxd it, I will have it. I still look better than I did this last summer, so I just need to take charge and keep it that way.

Secondly, I mid back hurts. It is just kind of around the bottom of the ribcage at the back. I don't know if this is to do with back sleeping, or my posture readjusting. Some days it isn't there, and is always most in evidence first thing in the morning - I have to curl forwards and then sit up in bed to get rid of it. Is it perhaps my back muscles getting used to the different posture (as I am definitely straighter now when standing). The whole area is obviously a bit stiff as we can't move as much as we should on the top half after surgery, but didnt have pain in this mid bit before surgery. The pain I did have before has completely gone, in the shoulders and neck.

They are little niggles really, generally I feel great. In fact, this morning I found I am able to lie on my side for a while, and it doesn't hurt at all, and feels ok. I don't think I will sleep like that in case I roll onto the front, but it is lovely to lie like that for a while!

Have a great sunny day everyone!!

x

Emphasis on 'a little' exercise!!

So I overdid it yesterday. Duh!

I did have a nice day though... had a lovely walk in the sun, about 2 hours with a break for drinks, then did some light gardening. After that I packed away a big stack of shopping, then went to sunbathe (its great to be able to wear something that had no straps to be white line free at the top!). It wasn't until afterwards that I realised I had done too much. Sharp stabbing pain a bit like a pulled muscle in the right breast (the one more was taken from, always more trouble there), and aching incisions. This morning I feel like I have a hangover and bloodshot eyes, and still achy, so I think it is a combination of too much sun and too much arm stretching to be honest. Also got some fierce blisters so some compeed is in order I think (why do I never learn in the summer about wearing socks!). I wondered how long it would be till I got cocky and did to much :(

Lesson learned, LEG EXERCISE ONLY!!!!

33 days post op

I haven't had much to update recently. All is well, and I am getting a little better each day, less tired etc. Some days I really do feel like I am back to normal.

On days where I have done too much, a couple of easy days usually puts that right, and I am gradually getting the hang of having the right balance between doing too much and not doing enough.

I am back at work proper, and even bagged a new client, so I must be back on form ;) I do find that using the computer really makes my right side ache and sting though, I have really felt it this past few proper work days - does anyone else find that? I think it is the muscles under the arm and to the side when using the mouse.

The sun has gone away which is a shame :( Although I did manage to get out in the garden for some sunbathing in my cheap primark strapless affair before it did!

I have a few little niggles, some of which I call and sorted out with the PS:

1. Under each breast there is a kind of bruise type pain, but it doesn't look bruised. I now realise I can feel like a thick raised veiny thing - one under each breast. Haven't heard this before and thought it was odd, PS said it is fine, normal. Apparently a lot of 'things' can be different after a big op but time settles everything down.

2. Steri strips: Am still undecided as to whether to take the off. Doctor says let them fall naturally in shower etc, but don't pull them off. Funnily enough that started to happen yesterday and the incisions where they fell look good - pink, closed, not scabby. I think she says leave them on so that i don't pull scabs off and open anything. Doing as I am told as it worked so far!

3. Spa/Swimming: My friend and I live hours apart, so often meet in the middle for a spa (so I can escape work and she can escape kids!). She wants to go to one soon, so I asked about that. PS says, another 6 weeks to be sure. Bathing is fine, but its a good idea to keep away from moist warm areas where there are other people (for bugs I guess).

4. Now this is a weird one, and I would really like to know if anyone else knows about this - don't even know if it is related to the BR: Basically when I woke from the OP I had lots of little pains, obviously, with the drip in my left hand, injections to the stomach, and morphine injections in the right arm. That's what I remember. I also remember, or perhaps just assumed, I had had injections in my top left arm - you know, where they often do them. It hurt a little, like the others, and there is a bit of a lump. To give some background, veins are always hard to find on my arms, and I always feel injection sites for a while afterwards due to some 'digging around'. Anyway, this lump and pain is still there - it hasn't grown or pain increased, but only slightly less than it was over 4 weeks ago. I asked the PS about it twice, and her answer is that it def didnt happen in surgery, and she checked with the nurses and they don't do any injections there (of course, I don't think they would remember specifically where they did mine... ). So they reckon it didnt happen there... I am not convinced of that, as it is a big coincidence - but maybe I got knocked on the arm or something while asleep, or maybe it was there before but I didnt know. I just don't think so though! Any nurses that can shed light, or has anyone else had this? Its a small thing but i tend to fixate on something until I know the answer!

Hope you are all doing fantastically, and healing well. I love seeing everyones updates at least week to week, where you can see how things get better, and seeing the problems people have work themselves through x

Side sleeping!!!

I can't believe I didnt mention the most exciting thing! I can now sleep on my side!!!!! I have pillows to support me at each side, and its sooooo nice :)

some pics from last week

this weeks, sans steri strips entirely, to come soon...

Bra shopping, boo

Hi girls!

Sorry I haven't put 'fully naked' booby pictures up yet - have been sans steri strips for a few days now and it is much better, so I think they must have been pulling a bit. Everything is fully healed, no scabs or anything, because I left the strips on quite a long time really.

In the picture on the right you can see a kind of crumpled bit - I guess this might be a 'dog ear'? I don't know for sure, but am not planning a revision by any means. I had been concerned beforehand about these, and the PS told me she would sort out anything like this if necessary, FOC I believe. But I just don't want more surgery (recovery really) so will leave it. In fact, like the fact that one is the bigger than the other (lefty - you will see better when I take front pics without steri strips later), it just kind of feels natural like part of me now. I was never expecting perfection and am not planning on doing page 3 in this lifetime, so I don't think it matters ;)

Energywise I am feeling more or less normal - although this afternoon I am lying on the couch instead of working, because I am very tired. That is because I have gone full pelt back into work I think and I need to remember that I need to go into things at least a little slower...

Officially I can run now, and I can't wait! But I don't really want the achiness, plus I don't have a sports bra, so I am going to wait a bit longer till it feels right. Am thinking of getting back into Yoga too, but am worried about the stretching.... does anyone have advice as to how soon they did yoga after surgery?

Bromelain: I started taking it yesterday! Having seen so many good things about it, I have been wanting to try, but my PS said a big no to it at the time. However, at nearly 7 weeks and without a follow up until September, I figured I am out of her jurisdiction for a bit ;) (naughty!) Anyway, I started taking it, but haven't really yet seen a difference - will keep an eye on that and update. Am a firm believer in many herbal remedies so I do expect it can work, but I suppose like everything it depends on the person.

Speaking of alternative remedies, I found an alternative to Biooil. I know this has rave reviews, but I would prefer a less chemical alternative if possible, so went to my local health shop and found something. Can't afford to buy it just now, but will do so later and report back on how it works.

Next week I am (at last) going clothes shopping. I have held back on buying anything for the top half for months now, knowing it may not fit after the op, so I am more than ready for a new wardrobe! I can't wait to try on the kinds of things I haven't worn before, just to see what suits me now, it is very exciting to shop without lugging extra boobage about !

Bra Fitting: Ok, so I have had two official fittings at M&S and an independent. One had me in a 36D, the other in a 34E - different types of bras of course, but it shows you have different they can be. the lady wanted me to have a 32E, but I felt even the 34 was tight. Partly the swelling no doubt, but also because I have had years of tight tight bra bands, and wanted something comfortable for once. Is it me or do fitters have standard things they say even if they may not apply in your case? This thing about having to have a tight enough band, I am sure they just say to everyone and I really don't think a looser one would have been less supportive. The 36 D felt just right in fact, but it was a moulded bra, and I felt it made me look big again, so am taking those back. I really want just a couple of tshirt bras that look smooth and not massive through a white tshirt (I have never worn white tshirts before!). So I am going to go and do my own fitting as Peediewife suggested, just take loads in myself and do it. Oh and also I found the M&S lady a bit 'tut tutty' at me like they can be - when I first took off my top she started tutting and pursing her lips about the fact that my Genie bra 'isn't a bra really is it dear?'. That was until I explained I recently had surgery and I knew all about 'real' bras which was why I was there. That shut her up!

Recently I also posted about sleeping on my side. That is great, I am happy about it, but I ache a bit in the mornings now and think that might be the reason. Maybe this is why the Bromelain is not yet reducing the swelling, because I am counteracting it with side sleeping. I think that what happens is the in the night I roll more onto the front.

All in all, everything is very good and I am still thrilled I had surgery. Most of the time it seems unbelievable that I was ever bigger than this, but on occasion I have a happy surprise, for example being able to read a magazine without holding it out in front of me instead of from the table in the cafe!

Have a lovely sunny weekend everyone x

Bromelain update

Just wanted to update on this, but I do believe it is working.... the reason I think that is because I haven't had one since this morning (I have in fact been taking it since Wednesday evening I realise) and this evening the aching pain is worse and I feel 'booby bloated'. Lets see tomorrow.

Pictures around 6 weeks

I took these a week or so ago but forgot to post. You can see how they have dropped a little and look more natural. This is the first set of pictures without steri strips - the scars look much more angry than they feel tbh, and it is also interesting how there is some discolouration I don't normally notice - to the sides - I guess this is leftover bruising, as this is where the pain usually is.

9 weeks to the day

It's so unbelievable that it is only 9 weeks ago that I was just coming round from the anaesthetic, dreaming of sheep under the bed! On the other hand, it seems like a million years ago.

I haven't taken pictures this week, but things are still changing. To start with, they bounce more! They just feel more natural, and less hard, which is great, less swelling I think. I don't often feel I need to take the bromelain now.

Last week was clothes shopping, and it was great to buy tops and not have to worry about how 'booby' it looks. Also bought loads of dresses, which was so much easier - can now fit into a size 12 easily, and 10 in some styles, which is quite bizarre. Previously I was having to either get size 16 or have a tight 14, or get a stretchy material in a smaller size. Also got some vests which are really to be worn without a bra or with a strapless bra. I have a couple of bandeau bras which do the job, but sometimes this makes the incisions ache and sting so I don't do it often.

Bras are still a problem for me. I am finding that there are not many soft cup styles I like, except for the moulded type - but I don't want to add any volume and they tend to do that. I don't really like the shape either - i prefer something that more or less has the same natural shape as I do, just with a bit of up and in, if you see what I mean! I think for this I would need to have underwires so will just have to be patient with that.

What is this with the moulded bras?! It seems that they absolutely rule the world of lingerie right now - something I hadn't noticed before, having not had much choice anyway. Even the 'hidden support' tops have preformed cups, which is basically padding, I don't care what they say about them just being 'lined', or 'spacer' bras - it's PADDING!!! I think that the engineered type with several pieces are much better, but I am guessing these takes more skill and cost to make, which is perhaps why these preformed things are so prevalent on the high street. Knowing my luck, I will end up having to buy more expensive bras anyway just to get what I like!!!

So I am still in my genie and royce bras. They are so comfy (Royce silver is much more supportive, genie most comfortable). Ordered a nude colour genie bra to wear under stuff so that will do for now. Although I did get a couple of soft cups from Debenhams (they are much better as far as bra fitting goes), they do rub a bit, and I don't like the look of the seams through tshirts.

Last week I took one night off wearing a bra in bed - seemed like a good idea at the time, but it wasnt. Must have pulled on the incisions in the night (I move side to side a lot) and in the morning, and all the next day they were really painful. I won't do that again for a while :)

Otherwise though, pain is non existent most of the time. I feel ready to run, but just haven't got a sports bra yet (I am thinking the Shock Absorber Ultimate Run bra perhaps....) Can't wait to run actually, but not looking forward to having to build back up to fitness though, yawn!

Overall things are very good for me recovery wise. I am very happy with my breasts, although I sometimes think they could be smaller, I do have to wait a while for my brain to catch up with real life I think. Sometimes I look in the mirror and am surprised to see I look seriously normal sized! Other times I think they are just the same as before. It isn't that I think they are too big, I actually think they look just right for my frame, but sometimes I think that the difference isn't pronounced enough from before. In all honesty I think it is a kind of body dysmorphia - I believe that before the operation I often had to blank out the size of my boobs to be able to get dressed and get on with things, and that now I look exactly as I think I should have at the start - so my mind isn't registering the difference. Just checked my own before pictures to make sure!

Anyway, no one wants to hear this much rambling on about the insides of my brain ;) Summary = things are good and I am soon going to pack my bandeau bras and strappy tops for a long weekend away!!

Hope all you ladies are well, and I am off now to read some of your updates xxx

Almost 11 weeks PO

So, I haven't been good at updating lately but at this stage there isn't a lot to really say to be honest about my recovery.

It will be 11 weeks on Tuesday coming, and bar a few occasions when I get a little more tired than usual I feel more or less back to normal.

A weekend away was very tiring, and reminded me of the early days when I would get really tired quickly - I had a lot of aching then too due to trying on lots of nice clothes which seems to be the worst thing for pain!

Genearlly there is still pain at the sides and at the incisions, but nothing really to talk about, just a generally achiness really that increases throughout the day, but I have been thinking recently how nice it would be to get to a 'no pain' situation but I am not sure how long that will be.

I have given up on bras and am just sticking to my genie bras and the royce one. I don't even really feel comfortable in the soft cup ones I bought that fit as I don't like the feeling of the band around the incisions so I don't see the point in wearing them. I feel my breasts are slightly smaller now too, so want to wait to buy more bras in case there are more changes (but that could be in my head to be honest, which is starting to catch up with my body now!).

I am still very happy I had the surgery, and actually feel like myself more now than before which I wasnt expecting. I can hardly believe that I used to have to put up with all that weight up front, and having to squash myself into clothes and looking like an overstuffed sofa - all of that seems like a bad dream now and the real me is this person with kinda big boobs, but not the kind to make people double take in the street. And yes, that has stopped too! - people look at my face now - for better or worse, I can't think a single occasion since my op where someone looked down at my boobs as I walked passed. I think I might need to start wearing low cut tops now otherwise noone will ever notice them!!

Bra fitting hell, again! (beware, this post may contain more moaning....)

Now I think I must be a glutton for punishment... I tried the last remaining couple of bra fitters in the area, in the non department store shops, just to see what fancy bra types are available etc. [Note, rant coming....]

The first one, was ok, although really quite pushy and I couldn't get a straight answer as to what she has in my size currently - she was more interested in showing me what she likes in a bra (at least she was enthusiastic about her stock I supposed). She also seemed quite keen on moulded bras... I will leave it at that. This, by the way, is my best one so far and the only shop I am prepared to go back to... I didnt have a fitting as no time, but at the lady is quite nice (if a bit over zealous).

I went in one today and was flabbergasted... Firstly, she managed to have me in a changing room with my bra off before I knew what I was doing. She manhandled me into a couple of bras (one a vile tshirt bra - non moulded, but hideous and I didnt like the shape in clothes) and one moulded - not as bad as I thought.

What I want to talk about here is her ATTITUDE (sorry for the shouting, I said it would be a rant ;)). First, she told me that my left breast was 'lower', not a nice way really. I said it is a bit bigger, but she said, no just low. Then she kept trying to make me 'lift' them with my hands so she could measure underneath. Now my old breast, yes, they need lifting to get a measurement, but I felt she made too much of this as I kept saying I wouldnt lift them any more as it was painful. Also, she kept 'telling' me I didnt have much swelling, then saying I did have swelling, and pressing on where she had decided this swelling was. She did keep manhandling me into the first bra, telling me how I was supposed to put myself in it apparently. So for the second one I said I would do it myself. Oh, and she also touched the incisions a few times for some reason I don't recall (and now feel annoyed about)....

Bearing in mind I was topless (and no bra) and facing her, she looked at my breasts directly and asked what I had had done, so I told her. She proceeded to tell me over and over how she had seen this many times before, knew all about the kind of bra i needed to 'drain the fluid' (the hideous one costing £50 of course). If she had seen it all before, would it not be obvious I had had a reduction.... ? Anyway, that doesn't matter I suppose, I just realised it afterwards.

In THTSB (the hideous tshirt bra - in lovely beige), she put me in a 36 E... the back was too wide, and was riding up - she didn't notice even when I was pulling it down. The cups were both wrinkled at the front, and we all know what that means, they are too big. The right one wrinkled more, as righty is currently smaller. She thought this one was perfect. I didnt.

The second one, was nicer and i kind of thought I might buy it later, and to her credit she did advise it better to stick with a softer, looser one than this, i.e. THTSB (the hideous tshirt bra). She went on a bit about how she would love to sell me lots of expensive bras, but it wouldn't be right to buy this one now. While I was in this bra, she told me my right breast is bigger, then pressed on the top a bit for good measure. She said that should be in an F cup really. Honestly I thought the bra I had on had too big cups - i think it was an F cup, 34 maybe (by this time, i stopped checking the size as she was clearly a lunatic with no idea about sizing).

Now, you ladies are going to LOVE this bit... she got in the (very small, damp) changing room with me, very close and asked what size i was before. I said about 32H in Prima Donna. Then she said, wait for it..... IF YOU HAD COME TO ME FIRST YOU WOULDNT HAVE NEEDED A BREAST REDUCTION.

Is it me? Am I really paranoid about this, or is that really insensitive? I was so taken aback I could hardly respond - I just said, believe me, I did need the op, I know that.

I then took both bras back to the till, and said thank you, I may come back in a few weeks for one when I can wear underwires. She said, with a shocked tone 'are you not even buying the tshirt bra?!' i said, no thank you. She then pulled a disapproving, tut tut face and shook her head a bit!

My hubby was outside waiting in the hot sun (he is getting used to, if bored, by this process now!) I didnt tell him about what she said until we got to the car, and I was a bit upset to be honest. He was fuming. He said he would have given her what for. I kinda wish I had done that, but it is a bit like having your hair done I think; you are in a kind of vulnerable position, and I never really want to do that when I am feeling like that. I am a very (maybe too!) assertive person most of the time, and noone would get away with talking to me like that, but in this situation it is very different... I feel a bit annoyed with myself though.

Excuse my Francais, but why are lingerie sales women such a pack of Bxxxxes!!

The funny thing is really, I would be prepared to pay higher prices for my bras, and if I found a good shop, with nice genuinely helpful people, I would go back there time after time. No pressure is needed to sell to me if I get what I need, but obviously I won't be going back to this one.

So it is back to Debenhams with me. I would have liked a choice of the more fancy lingerie too, but I am certainly not prepared to put up with that. The nice Debenhams ladies will sell me something a fraction of the price, with a smile and genuine helpfulness!

Anyone have any recommendations for lovely lingerie shops with good customer service, in the Midlands (UK)? I can't face 'testing' any more without knowing they will be at least a bit nice.

Also I have thought about sending her an email to the shop (it was clear she was the owner). Even if I am not offensive, just pragmatic in giving her this feedback though I fear she will take offense and send me something back that would upset me...Or I could send a letter without address........ Although, I could just not bother. What is the point? She was clearly stuck in her ways and wouldn't take the criticism as constructive. What do you all think?

[Rant finished now]

On the bright side, I bought two bikinis and one swimming costume online which are all nice and all I need to do is decide if I need all three!!!

I have attached a picture of a baby donkey - though it might cheer up this update a bit, as it is a bit depressing, sorry!

update to update

i should say, when she mentioned my right breast is bigger, I told her that the left is bigger, but she INSISTED - she is wrong ;)

19 weeks PO tomorrow

I can't believe it has been nearly two months since I last posted! There was a time just after my op when I had to sometimes restrain myself from posting 2 or even 2 times in one day!

Well everything is going just fine, and as I had hoped my boobs are less important now in my life than they have been. It was getting a bit boring thinking about it, and hearing myself talk to my oh about it - he is so sick of the bra talk now i can tell!

Right now it appears that usually I am in a 34D bra, of course depending on brand. I have given up going to those silly expensive bra shops with silly ladies trying to sell me stuff by being pushy. If you are less than 4 months PO, although it is tempting, I don't recommend bra shopping to be honest - at least, don't get too hung up on it, things do change.

Although I haven't had time to do pics, I can say that I am 100% percent happy with my boob shape and size now. I don't analyse every little part of them, or put extra meaning into any comments from people that isn't there!

I have underwired bras now too - although a couple have become too big (I have lost 8 lbs since the operation though, so don't take this as confirmation that boobs will shrink this late on). Not keen on under wiring particularly, and I seek out more comfy bras if possible. Free people do a nice range, but the sizing is not great (a lot are S, M, L). Worth a look though.

Healing is just fine, nothing to report. The scars are still very ready, but don't hurt much even braless. I am putting a chemical free rose based oil on them - allegedly 2-3 times a day, but in real life more life once a day if that.

That's all really, all is well, and I am doing everything as before - even lifting weights, running (occasionally) and other training.
Leicester Plastic Surgeon

I can't recommend or praise Mary O'Brien enough. Found her tone at the initial consultation to be suitably professional, very straightforward and very much 'no holds barred' when it came to pointing out the risks and the facts of this major surgery. Found this a little scary, and I rightly then needed time for the information to sink in. In hindsight I believe this is intentional to ensure that the patient is 100% sure before booking surgery. All consults after this were a little less formal and much more personal, when it was clear that I knew what I was getting into. I was completely put at ease by all staff at Derby Royal Private section, as well as by Mary herself, at each stage; from marking up to anaesthesia there was always someone there to reassure and chat to me. After care also fantastic. Have had two post op consults which both went very well and I found I was given enough time and plenty of patience with answers to my numerous questions. Also staff always available by phone for queries. With regard to the results of my op, I could not be happier. Although most surgeons probably do a good job and release the pressure by taking off the weight etc, I feel that my results are particularly good aesthetically and I believe that good decisions were made about size and shape during surgery. (NB. Beforehand I was adamant I wanted a C cup, was persuaded to go a little larger by Mary, taking my frame into account. This turned out to be the right decision as my D-ish cup is absolutely perfect for me personally).

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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