Log for a Long Painful Journey - Denver, CO
- updated 2 months ago
Hello everyone! Let me introduce myself and my...
- 9 Oct 2013
- Day of treatment
Let me introduce myself and my story firstly. My name is Cheng, originally from China and doing school in Colorado. At the end of September, I made a super big mistake which is getting a tattoo done. Seriously, I have been thinking about this tattoo design for around two years. As an international student, live by myself in a foreign country is tough. I felt life is just like feather, and what support you to move on is love and hope. This is the meaning behind this tattoo. Especially when I met my girlfriend this summer who is my 7 years old close friend. I have a stronger motivation to get the tattoo done. But just right after I finish my tattoo, every time I looked at the mirror, I just feel this is not my body and not me. Black ink let me feel cold and afraid of myself. During past 20 days, I cannot sleep, study, eat. The depression is killing me in slow motion.
I did lots of research, and pick a local clinic they are using RevLite and a 10 years experienced CLS will do the treatment for me.
My first treatment is Oct. 28th. I really need some support from friends. Feel really such a down time.
- 12 Oct 2013
- 3 days post
What do you think fellows? Need some comment!
Anyway decision made
- 12 Oct 2013
- 3 days post
Super touched inside
- 14 Oct 2013
- 5 days post
Anyway, I am just so touched by your comment, and want to share more story of me.
Ok, finally, I am hesitating again
- 15 Oct 2013
- 6 days post
The pictures looks very realistic. I think this type of discoloration should be expected by us asian especially. oneTime2many's comment although sounds harsh, I know, that is what I should concern, first of all, I don't hate the tattoo that much. Like what I said, the tattoo I have, it is really meaningful for me, that is my story, life is just like feather in the air, love from my family and hope from my faith support my life. secondly the reason I want to remove it, is not because of design or shape something, just because it is "tattoo", it just suddenly change me skin permanently so I don't feel really comfortable in this way, so called "permanently". Another reason I want to remove it is because the social pressure, I mean, someday I will become a dad, I will concern my daughter or son's perspective on me. But nowadays, actually young people, even in China such a traditional nation, more and more people are getting tattoo to express their faith, especially us generation. Some time I felt shame for myself by getting a tattoo is also just because the old generation. To sum up, I am hesitating again, or my emotion is kinda getting weird now. Once I think, I love this tattoo and meaning behind it, I don't feel anxiety anymore, just concern my future child little bit. But if I am thinking about laser removal, I will feel more nervous and even cannot stop smoking. In addition, I know I am taking risk.
So I am hesitating again. I know if I post this in this community, it will become really frustrated. But this is some of my feeling. Still hesitating, and I will let you know my final decision. But anyway, even if I decide to not get lasered. I will keep continuing care about this community. Even after this short feeling, I have a strong motivation, to import some good machine back to my country and open a clinic to help people.
Final Decision Made
- 18 Oct 2013
- 9 days post
I think at the moment, I decide to cancel my treatments and do not remove my tatt. Like what I mentioned before, I like the meaning behind it, I believe that is beautiful, one more time, life is feather and what support it is love and hope (I believe that even deeply during this period, every time I saw your comment and support you gave). During this little period, I even give this tatt more meaning. Because my gf always says, she wants to be a fatty bird next life. I would say this two feather were just like a wing or something I can keep her warm and protect her. I thought this is beautiful.
The original worry about this tatt just it makes me kinda feel too special. Yea, culture shock as well. My love to rock music & skate board new school culture met my traditional Chinese culture. But I do believe I can conquer it, because of the meaning, yes, you are right, I have nothing to be ashamed. And I believe after this period and deep understanding about tatt, in the future, once I have child, I can educate him more about ink.
I really appreciate your help during my short journey! Hope the best wishes to all of you! If you need any support, just let me know.