Brand New Tattoo Regret - Denver, CO

Hello everyone. For the past week I've been quite...

Hello everyone. For the past week I've been quite the regular on this website, and first and foremost..thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I feel so much less alone in this situation. So here's my story. For the past couple of years I wanted a larger, colored tattoo. I have two other tattoos that I'm perfectly fine with and I've always liked tattoos when I see them on other people. After waiting this long I figured I wouldn't regret my decision. Well...I was wrong. Since getting it - a week and a day ago - I have obsessively searched for ways to get it removed. It's not an ugly tattoo, it's just the size of it is shocking to me. Maybe by the time it's healed enough to start laser treatment I'll have a change of heart, but right now all I can think about is wanting to rip it off my skin. I've already had two consultations and have one more on Monday, and am gathering the information so that when the time comes that I am actually able to start, I will have had time to mull it over, get educated, compare places that do the procedure, etc. The only problem is there is a chance I could be leaving the country for a year this basically I'd get two sessions in and then not have access to a treatment until at least a year later. I know it's going to be expensive and painful, but I figure if it upsets me this much, a few years of painful treatments is better than a lifetime of feeling like there is something that doesn't belong on me.

I think the worst part of this is how it has affected me emotionally. I've gone back and forth between having good days and bad days...but sometimes I feel like I just want to crawl up in a hole and not leave until this is resolved...which would be a long time in a hole!

Like I said though, everyone's stories make me feel a little better and less alone. So keep them coming, and I will be sure to update everyone with my situation!
Thank you for sharing your story with us :) Tattoo regret is a very hard pill to swallow, I know that first hand, but you will find a way to work through this. My tattoo was very large and colorful as well and just wasn't a fit for me so I started the treatment as soon as I could - my review is Blackberry11 

Now...looking back what would I do different - I would not have lasered the flowers, instead I would have kept them and just removed the black and reworked the tattoo. 

Here is another member in our community that was in the same boat, he decided to keep his tattoo:


Really allow yourself some fair time to make this decision as once you start you can't go back. Would love if you could post pictures of your tattoo. 

And most importantly, keep your head up, we all make mistakes and we only grow stronger from them. 

Thanks so much Eva. The worst part about all of this is that I've always liked tattoos and had thought about this for a very long time. And now that I have it, I don't feel like myself. In fact, I can't even remember why I wanted it and I feel stupid for getting it. But, because it is actually a beautiful tattoo, maybe it will grow on me. There is particularly one part, that stretches when I lift my arm (the tattoo is on my back on the right side) and it makes me very self conscious because of how it looks. I've thought maybe if I just have that removed then I'd be happy with it. But at the same time, I don't want to remove one part and then decide I want the whole thing done and have to go through the process twice. I just don't know what to do. I've also had conflicting answers about the ease of getting some of the colors out. At least I have some time to think about it, and I won't rush into anything because I want to be sure and not make things worse for myself. Thanks so much for your concern and for sharing your story on here too. It is so nice to have a community of people to talk to about this :) Good luck with your removal and keep me updated!
I am glad you are going to take your time, that's important, and who knows you may change your mind. I bet it looks really great and you just need to adjust to it. It's a huge change to add something so permanent to your body. 

Still thinking this whole thing through...

I keep going back and forth on what to do about my situation. One minute I'm thinking I'll just keep it and forget laser. The next I'm thinking maybe I can just get rid of one part that bothers me the most. Then I think I'll just go for the whole thing. The scariest part of this to me is the fact that there is no guarantee it will be gone, and what if it looks worse after! With the colors in mine (dark purple, kind of a khaki green and darker green, coral, and of course black) and with the size of it..I don't want to end up having a mess. I just don't know what to do. I guess I still have about 4 more weeks till I can even start laser, so hopefully in that time I'll have come up with an answer. :(

My plan (today)

As I said above, I keep going back and forth....but what I am thinking is maybe start removal on the part of the tattoo that is really bothering me ...which is black shading and the coral color....and see how my body does with that. Also have them test a few of the other colors to make sure I don't end up doing those and ending up with a giant black smudge effect on my back! What do you guys think? I know it would drag things out to not just start all at once..but I'm just so scared of making things worse. Ughh. Like I said, I've always liked tattoos, but all I can think about right now is how much I want my skin completely clear of ink! Including the other two small tattoos I have that I LOVED before this happened. I hate this whole thing and can't believe it's happening. I feel like I'm in a bad dream and I'll wake up and it'll all be over..but obviously that's not the case.

Here's my tattoo by the way

Like I said, it's a very well done tattoo. It's just so big and makes me completely self conscious.

If any doctors could give me their opinion on how the purple and the light, khaki colored green in the leaves might do with the laser, I would appreciate it. I was told by one place they could possibly turn grey or black with treatment from oxidation and now I'm terrified of starting something and making a bigger mess.

Soul Searching Through This Situation

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing ok today. I had a bit of a rough weekend. It's my birthday today and this weekend I just didn't feel like celebrating at all with all of this going on. I've just felt so bad about this whole thing, and haven't told anyone what I am going through because I'm so embarrassed. I think what has upset me most is my reasoning for getting this tattoo. Like I said, I have two I got when I was 18 and one I got just two years ago. I never even think about the one from when I was 18 (it's small, on my foot and fading..has no meaning to me except that I was 18 and who doesn't want a tattoo then!). The one from two years ago does have meaning, and so does this new one...but after getting this one and feeling like it doesn't belong on me. I've really done a lot of soul searching. I've come to realize that none of these really matter to me and I almost feel like I was trying be someone I am not by getting them. Like I said, I've always liked tattoos on other people, and I almost feel now like I was trying to be someone I am not. Which is a tough pill to swallow. I'm 28 right now, and for the past few years have felt like I don't really know where I fit. I have plenty of friends and family, I just have felt very unsure and bit lost with myself...I guess a bit of the quarter life crisis situation going on. I hate that I am figuring things out the hard way, with a large tattoo that will take up to three years probably to get rid of. But I guess that's life. Sometimes you learn things the hard way. And in the grand scheme of things, 3 years of painful, stressful treatments is not THAT long. Is it short period of time? No. Will it be easy? No. But that's the price I have to pay, and it will certainly make me a stronger person. I do truly believe that.

I still have a bit of time before I can I will continue thinking about what is right for me. But if I do decide to do it, I am going to do everything in my power to not let it take over my life, to stay positive, and to try and look at the silver lining in all of this. I hope you all who are going through this situation try to do the same. Take care of yourselves and try to stay as positive as possible, because that will certainly help the body do its job in getting rid of ink and help you mentally stay strong. And if anyone needs to vent or needs a pep talk, please don't hesitate to message me. We all need to remember that even though the situation won't last forever, and it certainly won't define the rest of our lives.

On a side note, I've been doing some research and the lymphatic system, and some of you may be doing this, but if you google lymphatic massage you can learn how to do this on yourself at home. It may help the body do its work, doesn't cost anything, and is good for the body in a lot of other ways as well. I also something from the health food store that is supposed to stimulate the lymphatic system with red root.
Hi there! I have just read your review and you're displaying the classic signs of what some might call "fresh ink shock". Um, your tattoo is quite pretty, I think. The size, I'm sure you'll get used to it soon. You say that you've always loved the way tattoos look and you have two others; I think with your tattoo on your shoulder, you might well start to love it. But of course I'm not you, so I wouldn't really know. Look, if you will have it removed, laser is the best and most viable option for you (in my opinion) given the size of it. That having said, it will be very difficult to remove all those bright vibrant colours. But it can be done. As to whether you should or shouldn't go for removal, it boils down to you. As you've said, you've already done some soul searching as to what is right for you. You must do some more. But you must listen to yourself also, and not try to convince yourself to love it, because you know that will be false. It really boils down to a simple question: do you/will you love it? It is a yes or no question. If there is any single shred of doubt in you about the tattoo, you should seek to have it removed. If you deny yourself the removal of a tattoo you do not want, it will make you very very unhappy, and it isn't natural for anyone to put themselves through that unhappiness intentionally. So, in a nutshell, you MUST do whatever it is that you feel will make you happy. If it means removing the tattoo, you should do it, for your own good. Good luck, and we will be here for you, forever and for always :) Stay strong!
Thanks so much for this comment! I know..I do feel completely silly wanting a rather lovely tattoo off my body...and honestly I want them all off now. Even the ones that I liked before, I just can't look at the same now because I feel like I was trying to be someone I am not. But maybe the more I get used to this that feeling will change and I won't end up going through with removal. But you're right, whatever I decide..whether it's keeping it or starting treatments, I need to be sure I'm doing it for me and and what will make me happy at the end of the day (and the end of a very long process should I choose that route!) Anyway, I'm sorry you had a less than desirable first session. It sounds like the nurse treating you may not be the best person. I hope you have some other options..because one thing I've learned just through consultations is the person who does treat me needs to be sensitive, caring, and not negative. Tell me the truth, but don't try to make me feel bad..right! I think if she says she's scarred everyone, she may not be as experienced as some. But maybe staying with her for the first few treatments and spending a bit more with someone else later one would be a good option! Good luck and keep us updated :)
If you do decide to go ahead: yes it is a long and difficult process. That being said, time seems to have gone by so fast looking back. I have been at this almost year and sometimes I forget about my tattoo. The treatments are painful, but only for a few days of healing. This is do-able. And it does not have to completely consume your life! My first two treatments I tried to go back as soon as they would let me. Things changed and I could no longer go as often, but that has been the best thing for me! so much fading can happen in 3 months it is incredible. I wish you the best with all this, and know that there are others out there going through the same thing! We can conquer our ink!

Oh..also considering partial...what do you guys think?

I forgot to say this, I've also been going back and forth between getting partial removal. The part that makes me most self conscious about this tattoo is that bottom half of the compass...with the petal sitting on it. Very pretty in theory, but the placement is making me crazy. When I move my arm AT ALL it that bottom part stretches out and it looks HUGE. When she put the stencil on my I didn't notice that because I either didn't think to move my arm around much or not being filled in it just wasn't noticeable. So my other option is maybe just removing that and having someone touch up the bottom of the compass to make it one that doesn't "flip open". Does that make sense? While this would cut down on money and would be easier because it's mostly shading (except for the petal)...I then wonder if I would just end up going through removal twice. Ughh. I wish there was an easy answer for this. Or a time machine.....wishful thinking :)
Regarding the time machine: I study metaphysics at university, and let me tell you, whichever philosophical view you take on the ontology of time, travelling backwards in time and interfering with your own timeline is almost always paradoxical and will always cause major problems, such that it is probably impossible. Sorry to burst your bubble. There are several views as to what would happen if you were to, say, go back in time and not get that tattoo. Firstly, some fictions depict time travel as moving yourself through time such that you would just embody whoever was there at the time you were going to. A good example of this is a (terrible) movie called About Time (2013) by Richard Curtis. This is impossible and illogical. You cannot just embody a past self and live on; where did that past self go? A second view is that multiple selves are created whenever something in your timeline is changed. This is more plausible, but again, there is the obvious problem of there now being two yous existing at the same time. One you has a tattoo (the one who time travelled) and the other you does not have a tattoo. A third view involves there being multiple alternate realities. This pretty much means that even if you time travel back, you might not find who/what/where/when you are looking for. And, you might not be able to get back to your time/reality. A fourth view is probably the most appealing for you, me and everyone, and is the most commonly depicted version of events surrounding time travel. However, it is also the least likely in possibility, however. This is the view that I would like to think is true, and marries nicely with perdurantism and eternalism (theories of temporal persistence and temporal ontology, respectively). Perdurantism says that every object (including you) is spread out across a space-time worm (you right now are just a time slice of your space-time worm) and eternalism says that the past, present and future all exist at the same time and you just happen to be at the present. However, you can travel back (or forward) and manipulate your time slice somehow. Leibniz's Law would reject this, saying that the time slice you manipulated would have different properties to you right now, but this is solved by just arguing that the two time slices still belong to the same object. That the object in the end (just somehow) adopts the properties that it did not have until it went back in time and manipulated it's past time slice. So this view says that if you went back in time and prevented your past self from getting the tattoo, your tattoo would then suddenly disappear and you may or may not retain the memories and experiences of getting the tattoo then going back to prevent yourself from doing so. That last part is the biggest problem for that view, as many would argue that you would still have that tattoo and all the memories and experiences up to that point, but the other version of you would not. So yeah, travelling back in time and messing with your own past (or any other significantly historical event) would be very very messy.
Well thanks for bursting my bubble :)
A pleasure ;)

Small test area done - question for you guys

Hey everyone. Quick question. I had a small test area done on the large tattoo as well as a tattoo on my left shoulder (about 2 years old). The one on my shoulder is now red and a bit swollen but the one on my back (the newer one) is just swollen but is not red, blistering..anything. I know it's just a small area, but she said she was going to do the test areas pretty aggressively. Do you guys think my lack of reaction is due to it being a small area....or should I be worried since I hear blistering is what leads to greater fading. Thanks everyone....and sorry for the billion updates before I've even started removal!
I'm in exactly the same situation as yours. Identifies with every word ... I feel terrible about my tattoo, even though it is well made, and I thought it was a well thought decision. It received me confidence. Unfortunately, my relatives think I'm exaggerating, and when I read Your post made ​​me feel better that not only did I have such a problem, however, and apparently I'm not crazy. Costs of removing in Poland are huge and the worst part is that while I have to live with it ... However, I keep fingers crossed for you. It seems to me that even if you'll like your tattoo over time, this dark thought of removal will come back to you. If you have the time and money, delete. Since the time you thought about it, the strength does not fall in love with this tattoo, even though it is nice. Regards! :)
Hi Nataalia0707. I'm so sorry that you are feeling the same way. I know it's not a good feeling to have :( and you are definitely not crazy! The thing is, we are all human. And as thought out as our decision to get a tattoo may have been, it's different once it's actually on you. It's easy to sit here and beat ourselves up over it and think "How on earth could I have done this to myself," but that's the thing..sometimes we make mistakes and that is only natural as human beings. Unfortunately this is a tough one to get rid of, and even if you can't get it taken off now, maybe one day you will be able to. Until then, maybe you will grow to love it! I am hoping that may end up being the case with me. Even if I can love it for a while, maybe in a few years technology will be even better...a girl can hope, right! No matter what happens though, as many have said on this site, don't ever let the ink or the decision you made to get it define you. I'm sure yours is beautiful, too, and even if it does not feel right on you, at least it is not a badly done could always be worse, right? Please let me know if you ever need to talk things out. I'm always here :) Can I ask how old your tattoo is?
Thank you for your response Ap1191 :) My tattoo is about 3 months. Yes, I console myself that someday technology will be better and tattoo removal less problematic and perhaps cheaper. I'm starting to like this tattoo a little bit, though sometimes I have a crisis again. And how about you? Did you like your tattoo a little bit or you made the some concrete steps to remove it?

Any thoughts on oxidation, guys?

Hi everyone! So it's been a little over a week since I had the test spots done on two of my tattoos. Originally I saw fading of the script on my shoulder immediately, but it kind of seems to not be doing anything now :( . The leaf she tested on my back didn't get red or blister at all, but now it has been peeling a bit and seems to have had quite a bit of fading actually. The picture I took this morning doesn't even show the amount of fading compared to the rest of the tattoo. I'm wondering about the color of the leaf now and if it might be oxidation happening. The color in the bottle was kind of yellowish-greenish-brownish color and after having the laser the brownish tint seems more noticeable compared to the same color in leafs that haven't be touched with the laser. I don't know if this is just the actual color showing now that the shading has disappeared or if it is oxidation. Have any of you experienced oxidation with a color, and if so, have you seen it continue to fade with treatments.

Pretty much everyone I've talked to has said if it oxidizes it can still be treated..they would just use the wavelength for black or brown. But one place I went to terrified me by saying they wouldn't suggest treating this color because if it oxidizes they can't do anything to get rid of it (they compared it to flesh tones in cosmetic makeup...they said the same with the purple in my flowers and compared it to cosmetic lipliner).

Any input you guys have would be soooo appreciated :) Thanks!

Ooops...other picture didn't upload

Here is the one that I took this morning
Hey there! Welcome to this awesome community! I understand those feelings of not knowing where you belong, or where you fit in. I'm 32 years old, and still don't know exactly who I am. I love tattoos, and I want to have them. On the other hand, I just want clean ink-free skin. Feeling lost is so hard. I like being tattooed, but I worry about the judgement coming from others. So, it's a hard situation. I hope you come to a decision that you are completely happy with. I love your tattoo! In fact, my first one that turned into a cover was a compass with flowers! It was just executed horribly. I say try to look into Picosure, it may work wonders for you. I've been doing it for a while now, but haven't had much success unfortunately. I've seen others here that are using Pico, and have had incredible fading. I do hear that red is hard to remove, but with other lasers being used, I think it's pretty achievable! Good luck dear, and keep us updated!
Thanks so much for this comment :) It's so tough isn't it!? I feel like I go back and forth every day. I still love tattoos on other people. I see them and think "wow that looks so great" but when it comes to this one on me, even though it is beautiful and very well done, it just feels like it doesn't belong on me. I get really sad on warm days when everyone is out and about and and tank tops and I see bare backs everywhere. I want mine back :( But I'm also so scared to start this process and possibly end up having to get a cover up (although seeing everyones progress on this site gives me hope). And, yes, I would at least like to start with the Picosure to really blast the purple and greens and the light blue in the center, and there isn't one near me right now so I don't know if I want to start yet with the lasers that are available. Still mulling things over. It looks like you have had some really great fading. I'm sure this whole thing is wearing on you after going through it for quite a while now, but you're doing great! I saw your recent update that said you are thinking full removal now?
Also I can very much relate to going back and forth on partial or full removal. I was constantly obsessing over whether it was just the leaves that I disliked and I would cover them with make up to see how it looked. But in the end I didnt want to just accept it as less of a tattoo and I am hoping FULL REMOVAL PLEASE!

Another question for you guys - scarring from the actual tattoo?

Hey guys. Quick question. It's now been a little over 6 weeks since I got this tattoo, so I am technically able to start removal. I am still waiting though to make sure I am 100% sure I'm ready to go through this very long and expensive process (mentally ready, financially ready..and prepared to deal with the whole "unknown" part of this tattoo removal business). So the wait continues. I also feel like at least getting started with the Picosure/Medlite combo would be my best bet due to the purple, greens, and light blue in my tattoo and there isn't a Pico where I live yet. There is one where my family lives in I may be able to swing getting treatments during visits. question for you guys is about scarring from the actual tattoo. I noticed tonight that on certain parts of my tattoo, the outline feels raised. I'm wondering if this is scarring and if it is, how does scarring from the tattoo affect removal? If anyone has any insight on this, I'd appreciate it!
Hello I really like your tattoo, I also have a very big tattoo with a lot of colours on my calf and I had my first treatment on mounth ago. I think a full removal would be very difficult because there is a lot of red. Think about it... maybe you just need time to accept your new body.
Hey! How's it been going?
I am right here with you. I did research, went to a reputable artist & he added in so much green that it looks horrible! I'm depressed, sick to my stomach & am freaking out. My tattoo is also on my back & is bigger than yours (which I do think yours is pretty)... I'm just having to wait 6-8 weeks for it to heal so I can start getting it removed.
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