Facelift / Necklift / Lower Lid Bleph - Denver, CO

I got my hair cut today ... made me feel so good. The gal who does my hair (for years now) is very kind to me, and sweet, and she tells me pretty lies that may be part truths, and she lets me mull over ideas with her, and she invites me to have a glass of wine with her and we laugh together.

I will need some type of revision surgery to achieve the outcome I was hoping for, and probably some fat transfer and some microderm abrasion. And then again, I might be chasing a plastic dream that is for some like me is only an illusion. I don't know. But for now I'm not feeling bad, or panicked, or frightened, or out of control, or demanding, or urgent. I'm feeling like I need to read The Desiderata every day (at least once), and I'm posting it here for any who might enjoy to read it, too.

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." Max Ehrmann

In every difficult experience there is always room for gratitude that it is not worse. I am just past the one year mark post-op, and I am grateful that my face isn't paralyzed. I am grateful for the nice result under my eyes. I am heartbroken that I cannot enjoy the fact that I look younger because I feel so terribly deformed. The deficit under my neck and the accompanying bulges on either side bring me to tears every day, along with the fact that the tightness I feel in my neck and under my chin is at best uncomfortable and regularly excruciating. I cannot take meds for pain, so my lot in life now is simply to deal with it all. The advice for pain provided at my last visit with Dr. Imola last week were to wait to see if the tightness improves in another 6 months and to take ibuprofen for discomfort. He said that if the discomfort hadn't subsided in another 6 months, he would remove the top 4 stitches in my neck, something he had never done before and for which he could make no guarantees with regard to improved tightness or cosmetic result. With regard to the irregularity under my jaw, he offered a revision surgery in 6 months or so to attempt to correct it. That would include flipping the fat pad (the larger of the two lumps) to help fill the deficiency and keep the fat viable, and hopefully would improve the contour of my neck. Has anyone heard of this? A peculiar result of this surgery is that the side of my face that used to be the larger side is now the smaller (and tighter) side, and what used to be the smaller side is larger and lax, with what looks to me like an abnormally huge crease adjacent to my mouth. It may not be true, but I feel at this point in time that my facelift was a surgical experiment gone wrong, and I feel confused and at a loss.

Well, RealSelf friends, I had the color put in my hair today , and as promised, here are a couple of pictures! I'm into the holiday spirit now for real, and looking forward to a family reunion next week!