POSTED UNDER Facelift Reviews
Facelift / Necklift / Lower Lid Bleph - Denver, CO
UPDATED FROM Bski
1 year post
Pity Party is Over
WORTH IT$17,000
I got my hair cut today ... made me feel so good. The gal who does my hair (for years now) is very kind to me, and sweet, and she tells me pretty lies that may be part truths, and she lets me mull over ideas with her, and she invites me to have a glass of wine with her and we laugh together.
I will need some type of revision surgery to achieve the outcome I was hoping for, and probably some fat transfer and some microderm abrasion. And then again, I might be chasing a plastic dream that is for some like me is only an illusion. I don't know. But for now I'm not feeling bad, or panicked, or frightened, or out of control, or demanding, or urgent. I'm feeling like I need to read The Desiderata every day (at least once), and I'm posting it here for any who might enjoy to read it, too.
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." Max Ehrmann
I will need some type of revision surgery to achieve the outcome I was hoping for, and probably some fat transfer and some microderm abrasion. And then again, I might be chasing a plastic dream that is for some like me is only an illusion. I don't know. But for now I'm not feeling bad, or panicked, or frightened, or out of control, or demanding, or urgent. I'm feeling like I need to read The Desiderata every day (at least once), and I'm posting it here for any who might enjoy to read it, too.
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." Max Ehrmann
Bski's provider
UPDATED FROM Bski
1 year post
One year later - not where I'd hoped to be
In every difficult experience there is always room for gratitude that it is not worse. I am just past the one year mark post-op, and I am grateful that my face isn't paralyzed. I am grateful for the nice result under my eyes. I am heartbroken that I cannot enjoy the fact that I look younger because I feel so terribly deformed. The deficit under my neck and the accompanying bulges on either side bring me to tears every day, along with the fact that the tightness I feel in my neck and under my chin is at best uncomfortable and regularly excruciating. I cannot take meds for pain, so my lot in life now is simply to deal with it all. The advice for pain provided at my last visit with Dr. Imola last week were to wait to see if the tightness improves in another 6 months and to take ibuprofen for discomfort. He said that if the discomfort hadn't subsided in another 6 months, he would remove the top 4 stitches in my neck, something he had never done before and for which he could make no guarantees with regard to improved tightness or cosmetic result. With regard to the irregularity under my jaw, he offered a revision surgery in 6 months or so to attempt to correct it. That would include flipping the fat pad (the larger of the two lumps) to help fill the deficiency and keep the fat viable, and hopefully would improve the contour of my neck. Has anyone heard of this? A peculiar result of this surgery is that the side of my face that used to be the larger side is now the smaller (and tighter) side, and what used to be the smaller side is larger and lax, with what looks to me like an abnormally huge crease adjacent to my mouth. It may not be true, but I feel at this point in time that my facelift was a surgical experiment gone wrong, and I feel confused and at a loss.
Replies (5)
July 22, 2014
Very sorry to hear of the disappointing results. Unfortunately plastic surgery is not an exact science. It does sound like your areas of concern can be revised. It may be a good idea to get second opinions. Thank you for sharing your experiences . It helps to normalize others not so perfect results. Over the years , I have had a few cosmetic procedures and admit that I have never been 100% happy. Does this even exist in plastic surgery ? Try and stay positive:)
July 22, 2014
You raised such good questions and made solid sense about both the science of plastic surgery and the human psyche, Bunnyman. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
July 22, 2014
Bski, I'm SO sorry to hear this! I haven't been on the site much lately and the last I heard you were so thrilled and looking great. What a letdown! Having said that, though, I do want to tell you that from your pix at least, you still look darned good. But if you're not happy with the results, or if things are getting progressively worse, then for sure you need to have your ps make it right!
I've gotten a couple of emails lately about other folks on here who've had problems and was just telling my husband this morning how very very lucky I feel. Even as happy as I am with my outcome, there's always that fear that something could still go wrong. Please, please don't just give in without a fight. You've been through too much to meekly accept a bad outcome.
Stay strong. I hope this will be nothing more than a bump in the road. Hugs!
July 23, 2014
Hi, Westy! Thank you for your words of strength and encouragement. I need to be clear that my PS has ALWAYS said he will make it right. I think, as grace60 said, the pain I'm experiencing is clouding my perception of the outcome and my ability to be able to make a decision. Have you ever read a piece by Emily Perl Kingsley called "Welcome to Holland?" It's about having a child with autism and of course, this is not that. But the emotion and confusion she describes ring true for me right now. In a way, I hope the pain WILL subside, that I CAN face the prospect of a revision surgery, and that the destination I envisioned IS possible. I'm not there now, and perhaps that's why my PS said to wait 6 months. I am so grateful to hear from you, tho, and to know I have your support! it means the world to me
July 23, 2014
Just read what I wrote ... 'In a way' must have been the beginning of a different thought, because the phrase that began that sentence should have been 'In every way!' Thanks for listening ...
July 28, 2014
Hey Bski, I haven't been on the site lately either, but heard of your plight from grace60. You do look wonderful, but I do see the area of concern now that you mention it, and wish you all the best in getting it resolved to your satisfaction. Hopefully, it is just some swelling that will resolve or otherwise, you PS will make it right. You do look great though, if I walked by you on the street, I would be thinking you look darn good. Hang in there!
July 28, 2014
Sorry for the last comment - I was having a little pity party for myself. I do go out in public, but at times I feel so self-conscious. For example: have you ever been at a restaurant and the server squats down by the table to be nearer to eye level to talk with you (although in that position his eyes are actually somewhat below yours)? I did that all the time when I was teaching so as not to be bending over the children, but rather talking to them eye to eye (i hope I'm describing it right). I absolutely cringe when that happens in a restaurant because I know what the server is seeing!
July 28, 2014
Yes my dear, it is very understandable. We have all experinced self consciousness at one time or another. I am so glad you are going out in public. Glad the server took the time to squat, that was a lovely gesture. But the server as soon as he walked away from you his mind was focusing on his job or a million other thoughts running his head.
Just remember that you are going to be ok, you have to go through this stage in your life even if dont want to, you might as well cross it with positive thinking and cross it with all of us, we are holding your hand. if you ever want another self pity party invite us, we want you to be more than fine. You have so many new friends every day on this website, I hope you realize why. : )
July 28, 2014
Thank you, Anoni2. You have a wonderful way with words, and you're right about keeping a positive attitude. I try to keep that in mind every day. I am so grateful to be in the RealSelf space with friends who understand! Hugggggggggs
August 2, 2014
hi there ...I am so sorry you are going through this. It has been 14 months for me and my neck is still very tight and mottled. Also I have some jowling back. I have to have my upper eye lids redone as there is scarring and my PS retired suddenly so I am going to a new eye specialist double board certified on Thursday to redo and also he suggested putting some fat transfering back into my skin under my eyes which the other ps took out and so we will see. I have certainly learned that none of this is perfect for sure and no matter how great the surgeon things happen. I have to have a third revision (next year) for breast implants, talk about depressing. I will do it with a new ps. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and your face honestly does look great, I do see the one side of your neck but it does not look bad. I have despite the tightness have some sagging in my neck below my chin, and know that will stay and I cannot fix it. I know I must sound like a total perfectionist, but one has so much hope things will be great...and for the most part it is. Hang in there!!!!!
July 22, 2014
Bski. Wish you were feeling better; the "look" is very nice but as you say it's hard to enjoy the good visual result with physical problems overhanging. I do hope you can get clarification about exactly what is causing the neck "pads" and probably a consult with another PS can help sort this out so you know if what's being proposed in the revision makes sense. Have you ruled out swollen salivary glands? The idea of 2 pads of fat seems unusual. You remember Renaissancelady46 who went thru surgery at the same time you did. Her PS just did a face and neck lift (listed in neck lift section) that might interest you; Lilygirl14 said that she had a great deal of fat removed in her neck during the neck lifting procedure. Your PS used a gold standard neck lifting technique. I'm sure your situation can be improved so that you are not in pain....you just need to exactly identify the problem. Any chance you could set up a Private Message option so that anyone with suggestions to help can do so "off forum". You look great, Bski, so I really hope you find the peace you deserve....grace60
July 23, 2014
Grace, you are right - my PS did strive to achieve a 'gold standard' for my result, and I hope with all my heart for both of us that it will someday be possible. I think if anyone could make the fat pad 'flip' possible it would be Dr. Imola. You actually commented on the great transition from under my eyes to my cheeks - do you remember? He did a 'flip' there, too, and it turned out great! I think the PM function is linked to my account. No worries there. Thank you for your good info and good wishes! B
July 23, 2014
Bski, sorry to hear that you are still experiencing pain and the outcome is less than you desired. I am sure a revision would be able to fix your areas of concern. Please seek another opinion, or two. Information is a powerful tool. You don't owe your PS any loyalty. It's hard to go through the roller coaster of post facelift once let alone twice. I know this because I have just had a revision. Which by the way is a lot easier this time around. Am I happy? I do have a jawline and smoothish neck. It's still too early to say. Looking at your 4 month photos you look fantastic. Your photo now still looks much younger than before. Good luck with sorting out the pain in your neck. :)
July 23, 2014
When did you have your revision, Kitaus? How are you doing now? What is it about the revision process that makes it easier?
July 24, 2014
Bski, I had my revision on 16th June this year in Thailand. My neck and jawline was saggy very shortly after 1st surgery (see my pics under profile). As swelling decreased I became looser. At 1 yr I went back and dr was unclear as to cause but did say my skin had little elasticity but muscle underneath had sagged as well. To me it felt easier because I knew what to expect, a lot of the deep work though not all, had been done previously so there was less trauma to the face. By end of week two I could side sleep elevated without too much hassle. Still feels swollen in front of ears and pulls under my ears . My incisions are longer, reach up to temple and into hairline at nape of neck, scar tissue is flat and almost invisible. I am glad that I went back, so far my neck and jawline is so much better and no jowels hooray. I did mention seeking another opinion for yourself as pain can be very debilitating, another dr may have the answer. Goodluck Bski :)
UPDATED FROM Bski
4 months post
Vibrant Color
Well, RealSelf friends, I had the color put in my hair today , and as promised, here are a couple of pictures! I'm into the holiday spirit now for real, and looking forward to a family reunion next week!
Replies (5)
November 21, 2013
Bski,
You look great and what's really incredible is the very nice transition in your under eye to your cheek. It almost looks like filler or fat grafting but you didn't have that , did you? If not....then it is a result of the deep plane technique which has a tougher recovery but which has no equal in lifting the cheeks area. Not all facelift techniques can achieve this kind of result and YOU are a visual reminder of why this more technically difficult surgery still is done altho fewer and fewer PS can manage the risk and complexity of it. So kudo's to your surgeon and congratulations to you...you really look great! grace60
November 21, 2013
Hi, grace60. My PS did give me a deep plane lift . Also, when he performed the lower lid bleph for me, he repositioned the existing under eye fat pads, and I think that accounts for part of that excellent result in the under eye to cheek transition you mentioned.
November 22, 2013
Thx, RL. The color is fun, and as my surgery 'matures' I am more and more pleased with the result. Are you finding the same is true for you?
November 22, 2013
Yes, definitely. You can see my "official" before and after pics in my review. This is the best thing I have ever done for myself!
November 22, 2013
Love it Bski!! It looks great with your hair color and your trendy cut. You truly do look amazing!
November 22, 2013
Hi, TL! If you look at my 'before' pic you'll see color there, too. The color makes so much more visual sense now, doesn't it?
November 22, 2013
My PS is a pretty amazing guy! And the woman who does my hair is also a gem. Thanks so much for your compliment. I think YOUR result is amazing!
November 22, 2013
You look magnificent! Yes, it's hard, but it's worth it. I'm almost 2 months post OP mini-lift and now I wish I did my eyes too...I did microdermabrasion on my peri oral area and it looks so smooth! Good luck, you are a doll!
November 24, 2013
Thank you! I looked at your pictures and I'm so impressed with your result. You look beautiful :). I hope your ear is healing!
November 24, 2013
Thanks…yep, slowly slowly things progress. Getting a lot more feeling in my skin back too. I think you are about 1 month "ahead" of me. Did you notice that things really started feeling less numb around the 3 month mark? Just curious….
November 24, 2013
RLady--I started to get feeling back at around three months too. Now at 4 1/2 months I have some feeling everywhere, though not completely back. Still a bit of strappy" feeling in my chin, but slowly diminishing.
November 24, 2013
Thank you! Yes, although I still have a scab my ear is almost healed. Now I'm battling a three week cold so far. Ugh....
November 25, 2013
I've had the same healing and feeling time frame. I describe the sensation as snug. My chin scar area is still a bit tender, but I understand that area takes the longest to heal.
November 25, 2013
My chin scar is about the same as everything else, but the area behind the scar is a little tender still. I believe that is where the lipo was done.
November 23, 2013
You look wonderful and I love your hair. I think it matches your vibrant personality!
November 24, 2013
Thank you, AG. I think you look fabulous - you're setting a great standard for grannies everywhere!
Replies (5)