10.5 months over-a difficult journery- Rhinoplasty and chin implant

I was planning for my rhinoplasty for long as I always hated my short Nose. I planned the surgery here in Delhi(India) after consulting 4-5doctors in different cities. 11th was my Pre surgery consultation and the doctor convinced me for chin implant (using medpor without screw) also as I had a little receded chin. I was told the recovery time for chin will be same as that for rhinoplasty.

12th Jan 2013-
I had my 4;5hrs surgery done and was in the hospital for a day on Drips. the Pain was too much.

13th Jan-
I got discharged from the hospital and came to the hotel I am staying at. Too much of pain, i can only have clear liquid like milk and juices (without any granules), and have to rinse my mouth with listerine 4-5 times a day. i had medicines, had liquid somehow and slept ..it is very difficult to drink anything with nose completely closed and not being able to breathe

14th Jan:-
Visited the doctor and he removed the pad that covered my nostrils, It was too painful but now m able to breathe little at-least. and with being able to breathe through nose drinking also isn't that difficult now.

I was surfing internet and found out the chin takes a long time to heal (unlike what my Dr told me) and m little repenting on my decision of getting chin implant done. left half of my lower lip is completely numb. I am now waiting for 19th Jan, when my cast will be removed.

17TH Jan - 6th day post surgery.

The doctor told me to start having soft food like bread, cornflakes, halwa and not to forget rinsing with listerine after every feed .
I can not sit straight for long has my nose gets blocked (I think coz of the bleeding, which is all internal, and already my right nose is blocked since the doctor removed the pad from nostril, even after putting Otrivin many times a day) and now my back has started aching because of lying down all the time.
Cant wait for day after when my cast will be taken off, the cast feels more n more tight with each new day. the left lower half of the lip is still numb and i have got little infection just above my upper lip, i am going to start using Neosporin on it from today. I wish I could sit for long so that I could complete my office work from home. I dont wanna consume all my leaves :(

today my cast was removed. I feel devastated. Plz help me...feel like doing something to myself. I have not told my family about my surgery, so cant even ask for thier support. my friend is taking care of me. I look like MJ, yes I look like a cat. the nose has just been pressed and lifted from the front and looks horrible. The chin looks unequal, feels big, and now my lower lip is not in level with upper lip, its pushed back. . I so miss my old self. I feel depressed and broken.

23rd Jan.
So today is my 12th day post surgery. I have started accepting what I am left with now. I know my nose will remain like this now. i hate the look, but looks like i cant help it. My chin is still swollen and lower lip sensation is not yet back. also i think i have some wound inside of my lower lip, it burns there when i eat. the surgeon told me in 10days time things should get fine. So just waiting and waiting. and I still hate my nose :(

now I am weeks post my surgery. the nose looks better than before. I have started accepting it now because that is the only option I have for now. the front and left looks ok, but the right looks terrible and has changed a lot from what it looked after surgery. Posting latest pics.

the chin is still numb, the left half of lower lip is numb and feels swollen.

I am feeling quite sad and disturbed today, I was seeing what I expected out of my rhinoplasty, which i am sure was not difficult to achieve, and what I have ended up with. posting pics for you guys to see..!!

I am so nervous meeting people, I think my nose looks ok but I hate the nostrils show from front. I still have problems in Talking , eating and smiling due to chin implant. My colleagues told I look so different. And I feel so underconfident meeting people. Though I feel I look better and sometimes I feel I look weird, my confidence is too low. Its jeopardizing my social and professional life. :(

I am now 6 weeks post op and have posted few recent pics. do leave your honest comments telling me what you guys think of my results. Everyone just says I look very different but I haven't got a single complement. I am so confused, some times I feel I look fine, and sometimes i feel the results are horrible. so guys do let me how does it look to you.!!

I have been crying for 3hrs, I am suicidal. I don't wanna live with face. I have pcos and right now my whole face is covered with pimples and marks and facial hair. For last 17years I wished for a rhinoplasty which will make me confident. I was living a dream that one day I will look good without any deformity and get married to a good looking guy. I Dont think any good or even average looking guy also will say yes to marry me. The doctor fooled me, when I asked how my results would be, he pointed towards a picture in the room the guy in which had a nice nose and said like this. I asked about complications and risks involved, he said nothing is complicated for him after years of experience. I told him money is not an issue, do the best you can, if my septal grafts aren't enough,use my ear's graft and he said ok. just before passing out after sedation I told please I dont want an upturned nose and he said sure, no one wants. And now I have a nose that makes me cry day and night. I have never been this depressed and underconfident, he gave me a nose and it looks like 2holes in my face, tip is so blunt with no projection. He used insufficient septal graft and gave me this depression. My nose is looking more n more crooked day by day. I am suicidal n depressed. No one in family knows. I am going to see a therapist tomorrow. These doctors are like curse yo life. I am broken n devastated.

So now, Its 7weeks post op, I have never been this depressed in my whole life, I cry asa I look into Mirror. I have beautiful eyes and all notice my eyes first, but all I see in my face are two nostrils, My friend says (he is the only one among close people who has been with me during surgery and now after that, so that makes him the only person who comments on my results) it does not show that much, thou it looks horrible in pics but in reality nostrils show much less and I look attractive. his words cheer me up but again asa I look into mirror or take a pic, I go back into depression. I have been crying a lot, every morning after waking up when I look in mirror I cry, night just before sleeping I look in mirror and I cry. I avoids mirrors in Office. I would be seeing a therapist tomorrow. I know I need to make peace with this nose, because I can't get revision in near future. no matter how long it takes, I will make sure I get the best doctor for my revision, which is not going to be possible until I am here in India, I need to fly overseas and I need a lot of money, I am waiting for such a day to come.

over 2months post op, My nose thou does not look appealing, I can live with it I guess, but I am planning on removing my Chin Implant, I know it looks good and has managed to define my face and reduce my chubbiness,and makes my smile look good too, but is causing lot of discomfort, I can not join people for lunch/dinner coz I can't eat with my lips closed and eating like a cow looks really weird. feels it is impinging my mental nerve at the left side, so I get shooting pains here at times. speech is fine, but it id little uncomfortable to talk. and I always feel the implant. I don't wanna go through the same risks after re-positioning, so I have decided its better to remove than to reposition. I am yet to convince my surgeon as he is still insisting upon giving it good 6 months. I can not deal with it anymore I guess and want to get rid of all the problems, Its affecting quality of my life.

adding a pic to show why I cry over my nostrils showing from front,

Adding few more pics to show how my nose is looking more n more crooked day by day, it looks twisting to right side, also the good view which is my left angled shots and horribly ugly view which is right angled shots. I sure need a revision :( since my cast came off, I don't remember a single day when I didn't feel upset about my nose. I am planning to tell my family soon n visit them, I think I need their support to fight the situation and feel better. I am too scared to see it affecting my professional life, I hardly talk to people in office and participate in extra activities, I know its gonna lead to a poor rating... I just don't know what to do, one moment I feel confident with high spirits and the vary next moment I feel depressed, concious and underconfident.

Hi everyone, sorry for updating after a long time, I was going through a lot, work load in office, my constant depression, Psychologist's consultations etc etc. So I didn't Notice any improvement in my nose, rather it got worse with time. I cant breathe well from my Right nostril, I never had breathing problem before surgery. It was depressing me more and more, and then there was nervousness of how to bring to it my parents, I was too scared and upset to tell them about what I have done without their knowledge, which ended up so bad. but one day I had a little fight with my mom, and out of emotions I told her that she does not have any idea about what I have been going through since last 4months, and I told her everything, ow I am so conscious of my nose, and how I ended up with Rhinoplasty with such results. My parents were very supportive, not for once they scolded me, or showed me that I have upset them in anyway, they have been amazing. they told had I brought it to their knowledge they would have found me the best doctor here. but them they said whats done is done. they are always there with me. I am going home after a week. My parents support really helped me to pull myself up :) I thought my nose is not at all how I expected or wanted, but at-least it is better than my old pressed nose, since my rhinoplasty I never got any bad comment by anyone , so that supported my thought of having something better than before. but I felt devastated 3-4days back, when a new roommate of mine, who knows I have had a rhinoplasty but does not know how my nose was before surgery, she coometed "what the f*** the Dr has done to your nose, and them my other roommate who has been staying with me for 2+ years said "yes, actually your nose is not normal like ours, tip isn't lifted", I behaved quite calm in front of them, and then I went to terrace and cried my eyes out, I felt devastated yet again. I atleast thought my nose was better than before, but her words broke me. I had suicidal thoughts and called my parents telling them, how do I feel on seeing my 20years old dream of having a normal nose , got broken. I am lucky to have parents who are so understanding , they asked me to ignore such people, because it's others job to hurt you, and letting them do so, will simply put you in loss. I really need to learn how to ignore and move on. Since the time I have told my parents, I have been feeling positive, I feel a day will surely come when I will be able to get a successful revision. and have a normal looking nose. I would be seeing My Dr on my way to home. I really hate him for fooling me, by sounding so overconfident and not telling me about any of the complications before surgery.

and a great heartfelt thanks to all you people here, thanks for being a constant support. I love you all :)

I went home in May, and my parents said it does not seem like you got any surgery, it was depressing. then my mom pointed out that it looks like my nose is shortened even more and upper lip protrusion is something I didn't even realize until she asked me why my upper lip looked so?? she wanted to know it my teeth are protruding, but unfortunately it is because of my rhinoplasty. she went to meet the doctor with me and she told the doctor how I have been so depressed. and I spent all my savings in the surgery and took loan above that. the Doctor didn't seem concerned, he said I can assure you , if I am your doctor I will do the best I can, he told if I think my nose is upturned and the tip is not at all projected and defined and also it is crooked, he would correct all those problems.he would need ear cartilage, Now WTF , Dr, why didn't you do these things in the first surgery, I know he is no good, all he wants is to save his a** from bad reviews and unhappy patients ruining his business. and When I told him that my chin hurts on touching , he replied "why do you need to touch it then"..it was horrible. but visiting family was a big relief, their support has helped me a lot to divert my mind off my NOSE, but internally I still don't feel like myself, since my surgery, there hasn't been a single day when I felt happy from heart, I feel frustrated and angry. buy why?? I don't really know. I had a bad fight with my roommate today morning, I shouted on top of my lungs and later after coming to office I cried and cried in the washroom by myself. I cried , thinking of how I behaved like a rustic in anger and shouted. My parents haven't taught me to behave like this. I felt sad about myself, I am a very sentimental person, but I don't easily get attached to people, I had been resenting my roommates for them using my stuffs every now and then and afterwards not taking care of my stuffs and not being thankful. today the way my roommate talked to me triggered the volcano of suppressed resentment and anger inside me and I fought and shouted. this is so not me. sorry , I think I ranted enough about something of little importance here. but I seriously need few good friends!! now coming back to my nose, I still don't like it, but I have stopped giving it much attention. I am trying to concentrate on my career to accomplish something that makes me proud and happy. and Have also thought of starting gym and meditation to calm my mind.

Hi Guys, Sorry that I am updating after such a long time, just that I need to thing of my Nose while updating and I so much was avoiding that, I tried keeping my mind off this. but there were and are times I still feel depressed and sad.