A Dream Becomes a Nightmare but the End is in Sight - Hawaii, HI

I have had at least 13 laser sessions under my belt. To be honest, I have lost count because I changed clinics, same equipment different doctor. I have had 11 sessions with the first clinic and at least 3 sessions with the second doctor. The only difference is that with the first doctor I was having lidocaine shots and R20 sessions. The second doctor does not offer lidocaine shots and I only have one laser pass done. After all this, I would not recommend lidocaine shots. I actually had more emotional issues with the shots, sadness and swelling. The laser is not that painful and the doctor is quick.
I know that I will never be rid of the ink, the placement on my hand does not guarantee complete removal. I also like the idea of a tattoo and am talking with artists, taking my time to decide what are my options. When I began the ink removal journey, I gave myself five years to remedy the regret. This November it will be five years since I began the journey. I know it takes a lot of patience. In the meantime, I have had a lot of henna tattoo done and am very happy that the henna covers the lasered ink.
I do not want to spend any more money (at least $3000 so far) on removing the ink. I am healing from the scars and hoping for a remedy that will come in the form of a beautiful new tattoo that fits my personality, my delicate hand, and my heart.
So that's my update.

A few days ago, I received a RS newsletter detailing a home removal story using a home used device that a RS member purchased for $200. The RS member had not updated their page in over three years. I commented on this, and my comment was removed. I contacted RS personally and received a reply that the FDA did approve home use of lasers for tattoo removal. I researched this and found out that this was not true. Home laser removal apparatus are not approved by the FDA. In fact the FDA states "An effective and safe way to remove tattoos is through laser surgery, performed by a dermatologist who specializes in tattoo removal, says FDA's Mehmet Kosoglu, Ph.D., who reviews applications for marketing clearances of laser-devices."
The FDA and the American Academy of Dermatology state that "these laser devices are cleared for use by, or under the supervision of, a health care professional. The removal procedure requires using the correct type of laser, understanding the reaction of tissue to laser, and knowing how to treat the area after the procedure."
Real Self should not be advocating for home laser removal. This/my comment may be removed from the RS page, but I stand by my original statement "home devices should not be used for tattoo removal, it simply is not safe. The FDA and AAD also recommend professional removal.

I went for session #12 with the new doctor, same old laser, no lidocaine shots. She upped the intensity of the beam, and whoa!! it was a bit intense. But I was a trooper and stuck with it. She had taken a before shot/picture before session #11 and it is definitely fading. I do not dwell on the fading, only the healing. I do not take photos but I will take a photo when the swelling has gone down. She aimed the beam, zapped, and then we looked. Wow!! The ink was completely gone, no white, just skin colour. She thinks that I will be done within a year (maybe 6 more sessions) which is all good news. The more it is faded, and healed, then I can get a cover up. I am being realistic and know that it will never be completely gone, and frankly I always wanted the hand tattoo, just something more in touch with my personality.
Afterwards, she applied the antibiotic healing ointment, wrapped me up and away I went. Next day/today, no bandage needed, no blisters (blisters are not our friends, but a signal that the skin has been damaged and needs protecting) I just slathered on ointment. I went walking with the pooches and of course treated myself to some mexican chocolate...yummo!! In a few weeks I will slap on the silicone scar healing pads.

In other news: I picked up my masters degree, it is so wonderful to have it. I opted to have the Psychology degree printed in both English and Hawaiian language, and will get them framed. I was also hired to teach Psychology Introduction to first year students, and I am loving it. I have my students write reaction papers to what they read; I want to know how the reading/learning material makes them feel, and what questions arise.

I hope everyone is doing well, resting after your laser sessions, having full confidence that fading will happen. It does...it simply takes time. Be patient, be happy, and the time will fly by. aloha...k