My explant journey - day 15 (new pics)
- updated 8 months ago
Hi ladies, I'm so glad I found this community...
- 13 Mar 2013
I'm so glad I found this community at Realself.com. Thank you to the women who have shared stories and pics. You are so brave and inspiring - so much so that I would like to share my story as well. I am now considering permanent removal (thanks to the community) and this is my story...
In 1994 (24 yrs old) I had my BA (Mentor saline 250 cc, over the muscle). I went from a 32/34 A to a 34/36 B/C. My natural breasts were small, but I recall admiring that they were perky (I unfortunately don't have any pics). I got them to feel "sexier" and "more like a woman". I thought implants would make me more proportionate and I've been pretty happy all this time and have thought they are the perfect fit... In retrospect, my Real breasts probably fit my small 110 lb, 5' 4" frame just right.
I haven't had any problems with them all these years, but about 5 days ago I felt noticeable rippling above my left breast. At first I thought I was being paranoid since my best friend woke up to an implant that completely deflated overnight just months ago and hers were about 20 years old as well. Fast forward to last night and I do definitely have a slow leak as my left is starting to look smaller than the right breast.
So, what to do?? I am torn between A) removal: the healthiest option, natural and small or B) re-implant: not so healthy, fake and what I've become accustomed to over the past 19 years. As i re-read my options I feel like the choice should be a no brainer to me, but Vanity - ugly Vanity is clearly clouding my judgement. Even my dear husband suggests that I get them out, but he also doesn't want me to take them out and fall into a depression - either I replace them or get them out and live with the decision. Fortunately, he loves me for me. I am clearly on the fence... I wish I had a stronger sense of self that wasn't so wrapped up in my self image. I worry if I am emotionally balanced enough for a permanent removal...
It seems there's alot to learn about - capsules - keep or remove, scar tissue, etc.? I have an appointment with the Dr who did my BA so long ago, but am guessing I should I consult with others as well.
Well, stay tuned. I'd love to hear from you and can certainly use your encouragement. :)
I found a great website that has priceless...
- 15 Mar 2013
Well I had my first consult with my original PS...
- 17 Mar 2013
Ironically, my husband and I went to a Korean bath house yesterday as well. The dry saunas are co-Ed and they give you a shirt/shorts to wear, but in the locker room and wet area (showers, jacuzzi's, steam room, etc) it's 100% nudity - leave your swimsuit and modesty at the door... Lol. Well, I couldn't help myself from sneaking peeks at all the naked boobs!! Haha, but what really struck me is that all these "au naturale" women looked beautiful and perfect to me! For the first time I felt embarrassed of my implants!!! Hmmm, my subconscious must be leaning more towards explant too. :)
I am tentatively scheduled for surgery this...
- 18 Mar 2013
I am scheduled for tomorrow and have thought of...
- 21 Mar 2013
I just squeezed in a second consult and the Dr...
- 21 Mar 2013
I am finally at peace with my decision... I am...
- 21 Mar 2013
The car service picked me up at 6:45am, I was put...
- 22 Mar 2013
I am peeved about a couple things - first the Dr asst tells me AFTER that they looked perfect - why did I get them taken out and not replaced? Really??? I bit my tongue and remained polite. Then he says well, we'll see you on a couple months hunh? Again, I just said that's not nice when I really wanted to tell him what an *ssh*l* he is. I certainly didn't let it make me feel bad, consciously anyway, but who does that... ?!?
Anyways, the other thing was that I do have drains, but they are short little ones... I even had them tell the Dr. to take them out, but I let him win since he said I had some bleeding and he doesn't want an infection. The staff said he cleaned it out a little bit. Is that a capsulectomy or just a light scrapping?
Lastly, there is tons of tape that has my lower breasts indented from the tape... The drains come out on Tuesday so am ok or am I at risk for permanent indenting? Should I retape them when I get home?
I'll add some pics soon. Luv you guys and thanks for your sweet comments and support. :)
Hi ladies, last night I didn't have any pain, but...
- 23 Mar 2013
I haven't taken off the ace bandage as it feels like they would swell out to double D's lol, but I have a pic of them mummified that I'll upload. :)
Ahh, Day 4 brings a sigh of relief for me. My...
- 26 Mar 2013
You may recall that I thought that my doc had done a capsulectomy since I woke up after surgery and found drains, but he didn't do one after all... I'm happy about that. I just had excessive bleeding that made the drains necessary. He told me that he used to do capsulectomies, but now believes there isn't a reason to do them. He said when a capsulectomy is done that scar tissue just forms again anyway.
So, now for the pics! :)... You also might remember that I was concerned about how the drain was pushing into the bottom of the right breast. Now that I'm home and took the ace bandage off to take pics I see that the right breast is "dented" on the bottom. I'm a little anxious about it, but I keep telling myself that 4 days couldn't have created a permanent dent... What do you think?
I see my Dr again next Tuesday. He told me that I don't have stitches, he used a tape (butterfly stitch?). He also taped some gauze today to catch any additional drainage - so still no shower (so glad we have a water pick in our shower!). lol Lastly, he wants me to remain in the ace bandage until next week... :/
I'm hopeful that I keep the upper pole fullness you see in the pics, but am wondering if that's just swelling. I'm so thankful that I didn't re-implant!!! Thanks so much ladies!! I couldn't have done the right thing without all of you! I wish you all so much good health and happiness ~ Heart and Soul!
Hi ladies!! :) Today is day 12 post explant... ...
- 3 Apr 2013
I personally didn't like the Genie bra and found the Ace bandage more comfortable for the time being... lol. I'll have to go try some sports bras. I also want to get professionally fitted at Nordstroms for bras.
Over the weekend I went clothes shopping... I bought some cute vacation maxi dresses that look flattering with my new small breasts, but regular clothes is a whole other story... It's been challenging to admire myself in work/street clothes. I keep reminding myself that I am still strapped down and that when I can wear bras it will certainly help... I know others are deailing with this and that it will fortunately pass in time for us.
I will post new pics later tonight, but wanted to provide an update for now. The swelling did go down (bummer!) since my last pics, but I plan on massaging the girls as I've read that it can help you increase a cup size. Wish I was able to keep up with everyone and hope everyone is doing great!
Hi! Today is day 15 post explant for me. I've...
- 6 Apr 2013
I had more shopping woes at Nordstrom yesterday when i went to get sized. The sweet girl advised me I was a 34d since a c cup cut into breast tissue... However every bra (nearly 10) didn't fit since I have no upper pole breast tissue. Even the Natori feather plunge was just ok... She had my pull the girls up, but I felt so restricted in it. I didn't end up buying anything. I went to TJ Maxx today and it was another disappointing trip. I've been wearing an Avia sports bra I already owned and feel comfortable in it so I decided to raid my lingerie drawer to see if I already own other "winners". I tried on a Body by Victoria no wire bra (34c) and am so thrilled and surprised... I used to wear it even though I was "spilling" out of it, but now it fits perfectly... Hurray! I just jumped on the Vic's Secret website and they still sell similar no wire bras which I have loved for the past 20 years since I never wore wired bras when I had implants. They are so comfortable! I'm not a bra fan (I really only wear them at work and have always taken them off right when i'd get home) so that says a lot coming from me. I am of the school of belief that they restrict lymphatic flow and I also think breast cancer is linked to bras and aluminum deodorant, but I digress...
So, that's my two week update. Health and Healing to all my explant friends.