26 Year Old, Breast Implant Explantation After Rupture. Venezuela, VE

I unfortunately had to cancel the scheduled surgery for this Thursday because we had a car emergency. We had planned to change our tires this summer because we have been hanging out with a spare tire, then the rupture happened and we thought maybe we can push back the tires until after the surgery. But then the spare tire decided to slowly die by deflating every day. Every day. The car in not safe, and my husband does not want to wing it since it could potentially damage the rim. So, we are changing the tires today since we need the car almost as much as the surgery.
We also decided to push it since I went to other doctors that despite my nervousness convinced me it was not per se a medical emergency and that I could hang out with it for some weeks. I am not planning to let this slide past maybe the beginning of August. I can hear the damn implant squeak as I am typing and it has become the most uneasy thing I have heard.
In any case, I am also adjusting our budget to see where we can pull money from and ask the least amount of money we can for a loan. Our credit is not that great, and we have tried to steer away from loans and credit cards.
This has been by far the worst tribulation I've had since the initial surgery. Maybe, it also goes hand in hand with me trying to lose weight after the pregnancy :P

So, on Monday I went to my PCP to finally get an ultrasound and my basic blood work and I won't get the results until this coming Monday. However, the ultrasound technician was convinced, and I saw it too, that the implant is ruptured on the lower left side of it.
I received a call back from another doctor which I am considering going to today even after setting up my surgery for the 16th with Dr. Drew Schnitt at New Life Plastic Surgery.
I really liked him. He was really nice and told me that my biggest risk was being flat and droopy. I am totally ok with that. Honestly. I much rather have that than excruciating pain and anxiety from a piece of silicone that should've not been in my body in the first place.
He asked me tons of questions in regards my already jacked up nipple and also palpated the breast and felt the silicone on the lower left side.
I am a very anxious person. Right after the first surgery topped with my grandmother's death I started having panic attacks almost every day. They subsided once I got married, settled, and now with a child. However they showed up again to basically scream at me SURPRISE, B*TCH (I personify my anxiety like that obnoxious person that keeps popping into your life) when this thing ruptured. I am trying to control it so it doesn't take over because I am pansy now. Having a child being married puts your life in perspective with the what if's. I obviously did not think this through when I did this at 20 years old.
But live and learn.
Also, my concern per se it's not pain (honestly, after giving birth my pain scale rearranged itself) it's basically complications and of course, I will not be able to hold my 7 month old at all for a while. This had to happened when he's starting to have separation anxiety and actually understand what is to cuddle and to be hugged. He's a cuddler, like me, and basically rejecting him is going to straight up murder me.

When I was 20, I decided to have a breast reduction due to the fact my breast gave me such terrible back aches and neck paresthesia and hand tingling. I really hated the attention from elderly men and overall creeps who made me seriously self-conscious about having big breasts. By the age of 18 I was a 36DD and suffering to find a bra that would fit nicely (I actually found one brand and model and it got discontinued after a year I had been using it). My mother also had unusually large breast to the point she had a breast reduction at 20 and at 40, so she sympathized with me when I told her I wanted them smaller.
I went to a doctor recommended by my sister-in-law, back in my home country and after 2 initial appointments he convinced me, I mean, really convinced me, that due to the amount of breast tissue that was going to be removed my boobs were going to be too small and too flat. I totally fell for it. After the initial mammogram it was also discovered that I had "unidentified lumps" that could've been just cysts but were painted to me like a death sentence by the doctor. Yeah, I obviously wanted it all off.
Here's were the damn implants show up. He convinced me that I needed the implants in order for me not to end up flat chested, and I, in my complete ignorance and immaturity believed him. I mean, hew knew best.
My mother was not so convinced about the implants, but because I begged her to help me pay for the surgery and I begged her and try to convince her, she agreed after so much resistance that I have the implants. At this point, ladies, mothers sometimes know best.
I had the surgery and the implants were placed behind the muscle, and I was botched. Utterly botched. My left nipple was so damaged that it never properly healed. It is so hard for me to show the messed up nipple, to see it in a photograph and think, that's really mine.
I regret that surgery so badly. It has taken me years, years to come to terms with the fact that my breast got so horribly botched but I have to move on. Sometimes I get hard reminders like how freaking hard it was to breastfeed my son with my horribly destroyed nipple. I breastfeed for 3 months only, and I had to stop because I was so utterly depressed about how little I could feed my son. It was torture, to me and my son.
Also, due to the horrible mangled tissue of my left breast, I always had a capsular contracture that gave me pain every now and them. I always suspected that the contracture was somehow pushing or close to a nerve that connects to my arm. Everytime I had those bouts of pain it radiated to my elbow, shoulder, back, neck and lower sternum. It is a living hell.
So, in this disastrous journey what tops it, is that the left implant ruptured.
It ruptured.
I was standing up from my couch, with my right arm mind you, and I felt a sensation similar to when you break water at birth. First I thought it was my bra that got stuck with my shirt, but then that night I started feeling so much more pain in my breast, and sensitivity on the dead nipple (something I had not felt in years, much less pain in my breast, like when you are about to get your period)
This also had to happen right before a national holiday when it's hard to come in contact with offices and doctors. I somehow managed to get a quick check up with my SILs PCP and was convinced it is ruptured. I tried to get a sonogram of my breast and because it was this past Thursday there was no availability and no one worked on Friday.
As I am writing this, I am hoping at least 4 of the 10 offices I called on thursday answers me back to set up an appointment as soon as possible.
I am also starting to feel pain in my underarms and lower jaw, that could potentially be my lymph nodes in response to the rupture. Or it could be the random positions I had been trying to do in order to feel less discomfort in my chest.
I need this crap off of me.