Breast Reduction: Stories

I was a fairly late bloomer and was a C cup until about the age of 16, but since then they've grown every year. I was perfectly happy and fine at a D cup but they refused to quit, causing me self consciousness, self loathing, insecurities, pain, etc. I almost never wear tight fitting clothing or stand up straight because I just feel foolish or like I'm looking for attention. I always thought I was a 34 DD, until I had a couple bra fittings a couple months ago to find I'm a 32E/F. Not impressed.

I'm 5'9" and about 125 pounds and it just feels disproportionate. I hide them with sports bras and most friends I've had conversations with would have guessed I was a C cup and nothing more. That's how well I strap 'em down. I suffer from chronic back and neck pain (I also have scoliosis, an S curve in my spine that causes muscle pain) but I know these heavy things are only worsening the stress put on my back daily.

I am scheduled for surgery this fall (which is fully covered thank God), and I am nervous as hell, but ready for a change, ready to feel my age. I just want to be more confident in my own body and feel comfortable wearing tighter clothing. I would currently just appreciate any thoughts/ comments from anyone about whether or not this is the best choice ( I believe it to be!) and if they think it will help with my chronic pain or not. Thanks :)

I've given up wearing bras of late because I can't deal with the pain at the end of a work day. All I wear now is a wire free pink completely non supportive cotton sports bra that just kind of keeps them from moving around too much I guess but at the end of the day it gives me quite the uni - boob and I'm adjusting a lot. I look forward to the day I can just wear a normal bra and not have my neck and shoulders and upper back in agony after a couple hours at work. I'm getting anxious for these six months to go by! I went bra shopping with a friend the other day at La Senza (a store that doesn't carry my size) but I went along because she needed a new one. The sales lady asked if she could help me find my size and I told her they don't have my size (the closest is a 32DD which I bust out of completely) and she seemed quite perplexed! People aren't aware how I can hide these by pushing them in and shoving them down. Also just wanted to say thank you to those on here who've shared their stories, and understand completely where I'm coming from! It's good to know there are people out there who've shared in the same struggles as me.

I also just want to say that I know some people on here have commented on how my boobs are not THAT huge. I know they're not the size of my head, or maybe nearly as big as some women who seek out breast reductions. But that doesn't mean that I don't check off every single qualification for any one else who is seeking one out. This is a typical list of questions for who qualifies for a breast reduction. No matter what size a woman; in relation to her chest, if she can answer yes to most of these questions then there is no question in my mind this is the right thing to do.

Have you been to the doctor several times over (at least) the past year due to back, shoulder, or neck pain? YES
Are you consistently prescribed medication to help you deal with the pain? YES
Do you have constant red groove marks on your shoulders where your bra sets? YES
Do you get a frequent rash under your breasts? YES
Do your breasts hang low? YES
Do you have stretch marks around the tops of your breasts where the skin has been stretched under the weight of them? YES
Is your posture affected due to the size of your breasts? YES
Is it difficult for you to participate in sports? YES
Is it difficult to find bras in your size? YES
Have your breasts caused you unwanted attention and self-consciousness? YES
and Most importantly, are your breasts causing you emotional distress or depression? YES

The Waiting is the Hardest Part...

Lately it's getting harder and harder and I've only been waiting for a month or so. To think I've still got atleast half a year of waiting to go! I just feel like rambling a little tonight..

I've always been a sensitive very self conscious and self aware person. Always. I feel like most women my age enjoy their breasts, as one of their most feminine features; whether they are small or large. I feel like they probably don't affect their every day life, and when they want to dress up, dress down, wear a tank top and shorts in the summer when it's +30 outside; their breasts aren't something that deters them or that are even a factor in this process. That's different for me. I'm always aware. I don't stand straight. I have bad posture because of this. I don't stand tall and proud. I let me shoulders curve in a bit to try and hide, to try and curl into myself. Most days after I get dressed I still look in the mirror, turn to the side, stand up real staight and I look at my body. I like my height, I like being tall. I like my broad shoulders, my small waist, my slim hips, little bum, skinny legs. I have a perfectly fine body image and I have a real problem when some people think that women who want this procedure are doing so because they've been brainwashed into a bad self image because of the media. I have a good self image. Better now than any other time before in my life. I love my body, it is my temple. I eat well, exercise and treat myself with respect. But even with all of this, the struggle of carrying around this size chest on my frame is a hurdle I've deemed unfair and unsuitable for me. I don't want to try to learn to love it, because I have for years. I know that something like this only gets worse (and larger) with time and years. I'm young. I want to feel youthful and sexy. I don't want to base my wardrobe around trying not to look like a hoochie.

Knowing know that I'm getting this procedure done has taught me a few things about myself that I did not know before, maybe some things I'm not so proud to admit..
My boyfriend of 3 and a half years is very loving and very supportive and hasn't given me one reason to think he wouldn't be okay with me going through with this procedure. He knows they will look scary at first. He knows I will have scars and to what extent they will fade and that they'll always be there. He knows I'm doing this for myself and he's seen my frustration and my back pain every day that he's been with me. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and have children with me and he knows this is the best decision for me in the long run, and also that it'll keep them perky and uppity for longer as well. (I mean if I've noticed a definite sag from the age of 17 to now; 22, then I know they'll sit lower still ten, twenty years from now)
Yet I still find myself seeking constant reassurance from him to make sure that he's still going to find me attractive and going to want me. To the point that it's probably starting to drive him a little crazy. I mean he loves my big boobs. He loves big boobs in general. I use them as a sexual ploy to get his attention half the time. I'm not going to have that when they're gone and I joke that I'll have to shake my butt in his face a lot more instead. I'm not trying to be inappropriate here so I hope no one is taking it that way. Regardless. I have very vivid dreams at night. I've had nightmares where I have the procedure and they leave me with nothing, not even an A cup. I've had nightmares where I wake up and they look the exact same size, not smaller at all but still with the scars.

I've got a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The angel is the good, healthy, supportive and loving side of my mind. Reassuring me, comforting me, telling me it's all alright. The Devil on my shoulder has been created strictly by the media and by men and boys that I've known. Voices that has stuck to the inside of my skull like hot glue. He's a smug bastard who sneaks in, and keeps telling me the size of my chest is relative to the size of my worth as a woman, as a person. And that by taking away this part of myself I'm taking away the part of me that's worth the most to the opposite sex. Worth more than anything else about me. Worth more than my intelligence or my smile or my compassion or my thoughts and dreams. It's so wrong I know, and I don't understand how there's even a tiny portion of my brain that feels this way! I despise it! These years that I've been prodded and praised and loved for my big boobs by these men that I've dated. This media that is in your face every single day. Men and love and women and big tits and lust and beauty. They throw every one of those things in a big box and jumble it all around until you don't know the difference anymore between it all. I

I get angry too. When a commercial on tv comes on, or a show, or anything portraying a woman will a full bust in a low cut top, whether she's selling sex to sell a product or catching mens attention. I change the channel even. It's absurd! I get angry about men a lot. While I know not all men are the same and they're not all bad sometimes I have a hard time telling myself so. I've dated a lot of bad ones and have a lot of reason to believe that it's true that men really are all pigs. Every last one of them. They don't want brains or love or commitment or laughs. They just want a big pair of boobs in their face. I worry that by taking this one thing away from my boyfriend, (the one thing I've been brainwashed to think every single man wants in life) I worry he won't look at me the same, or that I won't be as sexy to him. Sometimes I'll obsessively search nude women with the same measurements weight and height as me with a B or C cup just to get excited and I'll show my boyfriend saying, "See see! this is what I'll look like! You think that looks good right?? See small boobs can be great too right?? Right?" and he always laughs and says "Yes yes! ofcourse I know! Stop worrying!!" but God I'm so neurotic. I wish that I had have sought out this procedure when I was single and cared mainly about my opinion and didn't have to get so neurotic about a significant others possible unspoken and scary thoughts..

I'm not for one moment having doubts about this at all. I want it 100% and that's not going to change. I just wasn't aware of the flood of emotions that would come along with it, even pre - op. It's a real journey isn't it ladies! :)