42 yrs old Calgary, AB

My stretch marks are 1" wide and my belly hangs now since my 2 children ages 9 and 7. My son was 9 lbs!
I've always since I hit puberty had that little "ponch" but now... As much as I exercise and eat good... It's not going away!! This is my last resort... I paid $3000 for a laser thing I'll have to look up again and let you know what it was but it didn't work! I've also tried "it works" and that's not cutting it either. So... "Cutting it" is my only option. I am 42 yrs old and single now. Let me tell you I am so self conscious of my tummy it is hard to date!
I'm also experiencing low back hip pain that I think it's because of my belly. Am I right?
Let me know what you think :)

I looked up what I had done last summer. It was called ultrashape. I had to go once every 2 weeks 6 times and the appt was 2 hours long....it is a body sculpting using ultrasound and radio frequency and supposed to melt away fat deposits as well as tighten and tone. She said I would need 3 more times to see results. So basically I would be spending MORE than a tummy tuck procedure.

I see a "slight" difference but not $3000 worth! :(
If I had seen a significant difference I would have continued.

I obsess about my tummy everyday, ill be at the gym and look at everyone's tummy wondering if that flat stomach is just lucky for them or did they have a tummy tuck? I mentioned to a friend I was going to have it done.. She text back saying a tummy tuck. Wow. Just invest in good spanx. Really?? I didn't know how to respond... Mine isn't until May but i want it tmw! I haven't told my parents yet... I think my dad won't approve... My mom won't either but I'm sure she will be there for me. We talked about it the other day. I didn't say that I had actually booked it but said I really wanted it. My mom said it was "vain". I think once I talk to her.. She will be ok :)
Also, I am separated 3 yrs now and am scared to tell my ex. I'll just say I've saved and have the $$. He can't do anything about it. being in the single world now I can't have anyone look at me naked! I need to do this for me. I have confidence in myself. The only thing that holds me back is the "goo". As much as I exercise and eat well, that part hasn't gotten flatter if anything it hangs even more as I lose the fat lol. Yup. Stretched skin :(

So I booked my tummy tuck a month ago and my surgeon is booked until may. That's ok the longer I can save:)

I was reading todays post from fitandflat and she nailed it. She said if you think about your tummy constantly this may be worth going thru. I am ALWAyS thinking of it looking with disgust at it and can never just throw anything on to wear. I'm glad I'm a hairstylist and can throw a cute apron on to hide it.

It's been a month since I booked it and I still need to tell my mom. I am a single mom (have my kids every other week) and will need my mommy to help me 24/7 at least the first week. That's what I've been reading anyway! And probably into second week when I have my kids she will need to do any chauffeuring they need done with their extra circular activities.
She knows I talk about getting it done and a few weeks ago she even said its vain. I don't know how to just tell her. Any advice?? I may just wait until the new year to tell her! I had an opportunity the other day and just couldn't do it!
Well ladies.... Let me know what you think! Thank you so much! At least I'm not getting it done now we (here in Calgary Alberta Canada) have had a huge dump of snow and it's minus 36 degress Celsius!! COLD!

Hi ladies, have you seen this YouTube video yet? She has a lot of guts to do what she did and I am proud of her! I am still in for a tummy tuck though! Lol! But it's true if we all felt better about our bodies plastic surgeons could go out of business ;)

I havent posted in awhile as nothing much has changed... I have lost a couple more lbs so thats good :)
As for telling my mom about it.... I have NOT yet. I wish I didnt have to say a word. Just do it. BUT I need the help, but how much help do I need? does she need to stay with me 24/7? and for how many days minimum do I really need help. Yes, I will probably get a walker a toilet riser and a recliner and make sure my pain meds are beside me at all times...
I have my kids 50/50. Surgery is on a monday and 5 days later I will have my kids back for a week again. They will be 8 and 10 by then. The only thing I worry about is it is a long weekend for Canada, they are off friday-monday.... 4 days!! I need to make sure they are doing a few things and not stuck in the house because mommy cant do much. Closer to the time, I will see how many play dates I can set up BUT its the long weekend, lots of people go away!
I also havent told my ex yet. I think i will tell him I need a hernia repaired and muscle repair as well, or maybe say just getting Lypo... a tummy tuck sound so much worse!
I am a hair stylist and have been telling some clients.... I think I need to stop some are happy and some dont really know what to say, they seem all surprised and shit like why are you doing this, and then I feel i have to fumble thru how I feel... I am 42 and single and dont love my body naked or with clothes on.... dating sucks lol
So the question for all that have been thru this, what is the absolute minimum help I need? Can they come over during the day and sleep at their own home?
I know the first 2 days Id want my mom to stay with me for sure!
I am going day by day til the day gets closer.... its too early to plan! I wish it wasnt.

Oh, Ive been dropping hints to my mom.... she keeps saying "you dont need that...." My sister right away squashed it because she knows someone who works in this industry and she only hears bad stories. She is also skinny. she says just exercise and eat right. well.... I am. Maybe not gluten free and dairy free like she is but I dont need to, I am not celiac or have lactose intolerance, I have been tested!(she hasnt been tested she is just eating that way, both my mom and my 6 yr old nephew are celiac though)

Ps Im not in a relationship so I also dont have that person to lean on.. just me, there are a few friends but they all work and have lives, so I can ask... and put it out there!
Wish me luck!
You all look fabulous and cant wait to be on the flat side too!

Hi! I posted a few weeks ago and only got one response... Plus I private messaged a few ladies and one response .... I also did an update the other day and it didn't post! So frustrating. My ex mother in law also said she posted something and I dont see it... Who do I ask for help on this?
It's getting to be crunch time!!

Is this thing on?

OK, I updated the other day on my phone and it froze and never uploaded! (so frustrating)
Anyhoo, as I mentioned I still haven't told my mom.. the other day she called and said her and dad are going to Bermuda to visit my sister... right when I get my surgery! Being that she has no idea yet, I was happy for her and that sealed the deal that I would ask my ex mother in law to help... she lives in Florida. Within the hour she booked a flight and will be here to help me for 2 weeks! I am happy in that she too has done plastic surgery so she understands more. I don't want my mom to help me especially when I NEED help because of my own doing....
My stomach still looks gross but I thought I'd show a close up of how big my stretch marks are...

I was sooo nervous to call them! It's not til 6 weeks prior and when the total amount is due. March 31! It will officially be official (lol) when the full payment is due!

I finally told my mom! I have had this booked since November and I finally told her on Sunday!
She is actually good with it. She ended up telling my sister and saying to her that my tummy is a mess and prob should have it done! So if mom is ok then everyone else should be ;)

Well darn it... I called to ask about renting an electric chair to sleep in and they wont know if they have one available til a week before! I like to make sure things are in place! So I guess worse case scenario I have a friend that will let me borrow their regular lazy boy if thats the case!
So question: For those that are sleeping in a lazy boy chair that isnt electric, is it ok to get up out of?
THANKS!

The time seems to be going sooooooooooo slooooooooow.
8 more weeks! And 2 weeks before pre op appt!
My son turns 8 tomorrow!! We had a huge bday party on the weekend with a magician! So much fun! Tomorrow is just a family dinner out :)

So 8 weeks to go. I've told most of my clients so they know I'll be off 2-3 weeks.. I told one of my clients today and she said "so diet and exercise ... Blah blah blah ." As soon as she said the first 2 words I immediately started to get my back up and said "oh I know, barbaric decision isn't it."And things like that ... She wasn't trying to be mean or argumentative. I've been doing her hair for awhile. So I said I have a lot of stretch marks and hanging belly. So as I finished getting her color on I decided to show her pics on my phone of "my belly". She said "you take pics of your stomach?" I go ya I have a blog on this website and everyone shares their experiences. As soon as she saw my pics her eyes went wide and said oh my you have a lot of stretch marks! And eventually said. Oh I can understand why you would do this.. So in the end she was very happy for me. But sometimes it's those immediate reactions I just hate hearing!
8. Weeks. Left.

I am NOT nervous at all! Im really really excited! There hasn't been much to tell! My pre op appt wasnt much, just a list of does and donts and some prescriptions I had to fill for my narcotic for the first 3 days, anti nausea and a month of antibiotics...
My mother in law arrives on Friday, she will be staying with her kids until sunday when shit will get real MONDAY MORNING!
So, I'll update you as soon as I can on the flat side!!
Thanks for letting me stalk your profiles, Ive learned alot from all of you! Happy Healing to all!

So I was there at 8am. I got home at 6... Left at 4:50 but the office is downtown and it was rush hour. Normally 20 min! Grrr. Not gonna lie it feels like I had a shit kicking to my belly. Over and over and over again.
I tried to go pee... Nothing yet. I still had numbness in my butt so that's probably why. They do a spinal anesthetic so I'm paralyzed from just under boobs down. My bladder needs to wake up. As I was sitting on the toilet I started to feel light headed. And got hot and clammy. (You know the feeling when you feel like you are talking inside your head?) My mil was trying to get me some food! and I said hurry.. I needed something to eat. Well. No pee. I got to recliner without passing out. Whew! I then ate my porridge :)my mom came came for a visit too :)
So took my Targin at 7:45pm and will be able to again 12 hrs later. It's a slow release narcotic. The nurse gave it to my at 8:30 am but she said I could take an hour earlier if I needed. I needed lol Is it working? I'm not too sure With the lack of peeing ( i am able to "dribble")I'm doing and I have gas.. ( I was able to let go a couple) i feel like my belly is going to blow up!! And that's all that hurts! I give that a 9/10 pain level. Well actually when I get up to walk it's pretty up there too lol
I took two senokot stool softener tonight As the nurse said to now take every night.. Maybe that's what's happening??
I hope day 2 is a little better. I just want some relief..
I'm now tucked in again in my recliner (a definite must) it's electric. And I have a heating pad on my feet! I'm a bit chilly.
Happy healing to you all!
Xoxo

It's been 12 hrs since I woke from surgery. I just wanted to update now while it's on my mind! I feel so much better! After I tried peeing at 10:30 (a dribble) I got comfy and had a rest (and that what I mean it wasn't a sleep by any means but I closed my eyes and maybe dozed til now! And man I really need to pee!! Getting up (with help of mil of course) was excruciating. My bladder was going to explode! I finally go there and did the longest pee. Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Immediate relief! I was able to walk even unassisted the pain lessened sooo much!! I can't begin to tell you how happy I feel! So now to try and sleep :) Gnite sisters!

Today we changed my binder. They want me to "flip" it so that the swelling doesn't get into one spot.. It says smoother. Since we changed it my drain wasn't really draining so we worried that we kinked the cord too much. We talked to the nurse and got it changed around a bit. But still not much drainage. We made an appt to go see her tmw. Normally it would be 3 days after for dressing change but she is off on Thursday! And I have to wait 8 days to get drain out because it's a holiday on monday! (Damn) but actually it doesn't bug me that much.
Today my issue is my bowels now. Feeling bloated and gassy. Hopefully I can poop good tmw :)
I am getting up every hour to walk or pee. It is good to get moving. It's super hard at first because you've been sitting and it feels stiff and more pain to get movig but. You gotta do it. You'll feel better!
My dad came to mow the lawn today and my mom actually saw my inscison site today. I see the worry in her face. But she knows this is gonna be good :)
My mil has been a huge help! She got up every 2 hrs in the night with me to help me get up to the bathroom. She's brought me food and washed down my patio furniture :)
I think she even put away my winter shovel!
I've been lounging more tonight as my stomach is feeling quite bloated. I have kept up On my meds too. Now I just need to take another antibiotic my stool softener and flip my binder! Then settle in for some sleep. I hope :)

This binder changing is what gets the best of me... I guess I anticipate too much! I can't imagine doing up the binder myself. Because I have to wear this for 6 weeks and my help leaves in 2!
When we changed it I felt a pull in my belly thinking it would subside. But it didn't go so I got my mil to open it up and I had a wrinkle in my tank top! Once that was pulled strait.. So much better! Well, I'm spent today, I did poop :) but I need to eat prunes! I took the last of my narcotic tonight. Tmw I can do ibuprofen and robax platinum. I hope it's enough... I just want to get thru the incision healing part.

Nothing much is different Except today I must say pain is getting better!

I still hate the binder change.

My drain is minimal and orangy.

I still would rather not have undies or lounge pants on. So much easier to go to the bathroom!!

I finally washed down with a face cloth and got my hair washed in the kitchen sink!!
And I had my original tank top cut off and tossed in the garbage!
Put on a brand new one:)

I'm still hunched walking but I don't know when I'm allowed to stand up. I feel like I could(with binder on!) but the orders were to stay hunched. I will know on Tuesday more about that.

I don't know how people only a day or two later are standing up with out a binder taking all these pics! Lol!! I have not once stood up without my binder. I feel when it's off so out of control. So sensitive and feels like my muscles are gonna fall out lol
Does anyone else feel this way??

Well.. I had a feeling this would happen... With my stretch marks being wide above my original belly button. I knew that would be pulled down an sewn to the bottom. When I saw the nurse on day 2 she did mention she was concerned about some bruising she saw.
So today when I went for drain removal she also said she will take the tape off. Thank god!! She ripped it off way faster than what I would have done. And it would have been a lot more painful!
Anyway, here are some pics.
The stretch marks are I'm sure most of you know thinned skin that has little to no blood flow. You need good blood flow to heal the wound.

It's been 11 days. I still need to walk hunched because of the necrosis. I will update about the more on Tuesday after I see the nurse again.
The pain has subsided a little more today so that's good!
I can't stand too long yet. I working on tues but not for very long. I am a hairstylist in my home so commute is awesome and less stress there. I am going to use my cutting stool too.

Well, since tues I have been putting the silver sulfadiazine cream (flamazine) on twice a day. I have to get in the shower and soap it down and even use a facecloth to try and sluff off the dead stuff. I know this is very mild compared to others who have necrosis but I get light headed doing it lol. I pray it gets better soon and not any worse! Thank goodness I have a shower chair to sit on AND a hand held shower head so I can sit and let the water sooth and clean it :)
I've timed it so I flip my binder right after.
I'll still update after this tues as to what the nurse thinks!

I can not believe I started work on Tuesday! Granted I am starting back slowly. 3 clients per day. Tues wed and tonight. Have a few cuts to do tomorrow. An up do for a grad on Sunday. Then off til Tuesday!
Everyday get a little better. And speaking of which my necrosis is healing great!
I haven't tried to sleep in my own bed yet. Still in the electric recliner. I'll be trying that this weekend.

So the up parts are: every day gets a bit better :) when i first started work after 2 weeks off I was using a stool to prop a leg up. Sitting down to apply color. And using one hand to rinse.
Now after week 2 I am standing more to color and foil. I'll sit to so the hair cut until I need to stand to layer the top. I can also blow dry shorter hair and with a round brush! Some with looong hair I still pop under the dryer unless they say they will dry it themselves. I say "giver". lol

My necrosis is healing nicely pic posted of week 1-3

The downs:
My incision is starting to spit a few stitches. I've posted pics. My left side was the worst. It first looked like puss was coming out of it and bled a lot. I called the nurse and she told me to come down even though I am going to see her next week. There was a couple more on the right that seemed irritated and she went in with tweezers and pulled up the stitch and snipped it off. OUCH!! She said she was surprised I could feel that!
The thing is, my incision feels like the whole thing is on fire. Very sensitive. My stomach even feels like I have a bad sunburn. The dr said cus I'm fair skinned lots of stretch marks, genetics. Meaning I'll heal a little slower than average and that it's all superficial and to not worry.. Great. Lol.

After my shower tonight I did my usual cleaning and doctoring of my necrosis (and now the little areas that are kinda open now)
I went to put on my binder and the left side hurt sooo bad I could barely do up the second panel!
I just hope it heals fast!
Pic posted.

I had to send my recliner back on Monday. I really miss it! My couch is NOT comfortable. So. I have a client that's letting me borrow his! It's a gravity chair. It's electric AND has all the bells and whistles! Massage, kneads, and vibrates! I sooo need a back massage!
Anyway. Thank you for listening. I needed to vent about my damn genetics :/

Since all the spitting stitches incident from last week things have been good.
I don't hurt as much as last week.
My muscle repair I can't feel unless I cough sneeze or engage my core by accident ;)
The only part I notice is a little tender still is the top. I still can't straighten 100% as it seems to pull there when I do..
I told the nurse today I still sleep wii pillows all propped up. She suggested starting to take pillows away so I'm laying more flat each time. I guess that's my "Physio" so to speak and all while I sleep! Sounds good to me:)
The incision still has a few angry spots but nothing like last week.
Necrosis gets better every day. Although. You can't really see it in the pics but in the middle this morning looked kinda like a blood blister and now it's a tiny hole the bleeds reddish orange a tiny bit.. I think she took a stitch out of it. Not sure. (I wasn't looking!) I'm putting the flamizine on it so hopefully by morning it will look good. I got my 3rd tube of that stuff today. The pharmacist told me it's only good for 7 days once opened. I was wondering as the 2nd tube was about 10 days old and I felt it wasn't working...

I am getting the ken doll look people are talking about! Il post a pic.
My low abs are still hard and numb.
My belly button still oozes. She suggests putting a marble in it to keep it round. There is a flap he says she wants me to keep up.. Pic posted.
Sorry if I'm rambling and sounds all over the place! I'm just trying to get all my thoughts out. I'm definitely not a writer :)

My next scheduled visit is July 2nd unless I need to pop in to get any spitting stitches removed!

Happy healing :)

Hi!!! I know I haven't updated in a looooong time! Once back to work happened life got in the way :( I'm sorry..
Well, the last time I updated I said I was going to go to my 6 week check up. That did not happen. They called me to ask if I could come in earlier as he wanted to go home................................................
REALLY????
The 6 week po appt. in my opinion is an important visit. It's where we now go. Ok now what?
Weening off binder.hows my incision, swelling, where shoulda pain levels be, gym?? Oh. And I had necrosis so how bout that??? Even writing this right now I'm vibrating. The nurse did talk over the phone with me and told me about how to ween and never said anything about gym. Up to 12 weeks I still am not allowed to lift heavy, twist my torso and or use abs.
Ok. Fine.
So fast fwd.
I'm still very swollen. Have fatty deposits sticking out at the ends of incision. (Hips) I'm very tender still all over. Not my inscison per say( that area is just numb) but my muscle repair.
A couple weeks ago I was feeling more swollen to the point I was very uncomfortable and wanted a pin to pop me! Lol. I was going to the bathroom and I looked down a noticed wetness all over. It looked like I had a pin hole opening in my now healed necrosis spot and white stuff wa coming out.
I called nurse and she just not to worry it was probably just a spitting stitch or an ingrown hair.
I'm going on wed for my 12 week post op. He better not decide to go home before he sees me!!
I'll post pics in a min :)

The only thing I want to add:
I hope they say it's all swelling (hips) I didn't pay that kind of money to still have to wear spanx!!
I think I look disproportionate. My hips stick out wider than my thighs. Looks odd. Lol

Hi! So it is 19 weeks.... nothing in looks has changed so thats why I havent posted a pic.. still have what seems like extra fat at my hips, but also, I swell alot ABOVE the belly button. When I went for my 12 week post op the nurse even whipped out the scale! I mean YES I did gain the 5 lbs they took off but ist it hard when you cant use abs or twist your torso?? Anyway, I am back to the gym but Im still in alot of pain.... I also still have a hard time using my abs like at the gym when I am back on the bench doing chest presses, I cant lean my bar on my belly to get up because it is extremely painful!

When I stretch it hurts, and then when Ive been sitting on my couch and get up I still get hunched as it seems like I am seizing my muscles...

I mentioned this to the surgeon, he didnt seem concerned, he didnt even press on my stomach to see if its seroma or anything. He just looked at it. I am seeing him in november for 6 month check up. I mentioned to him about my hips but he says lets see at 6 months....
OK THEN.

Should I be calling and mentioning this pain and upper swelling still? or should I focus on getting a few lbs off again and see whats up then?
Im still going about my business, its not hindering my life BUT I do take pain pills sometimes to ease the pain. One of my rs pals that had hers done same surgeon 5 weeks prior has no pain and is feeling great!
ps, I also have the numbness and tender spots on incision but I know thats to be expected...

Any advice ladies would help!
THANKS!
( I am planning to have manual lypmh drainage done to see if that helps)

I know its swelling everywhere too as Im wearing the same underwear PRE surgery and I have line digs from underwear... I cant wear cute underwear yet :(