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Hey there, I am posting this because I am high on...

Hey there, I am posting this because I am high on the prescribed meds...:) But moreso because these postings with photos helped me ease my fears and level my expectations for my surgery yesterday, so I want to pay it forward to the next fearful and hesitant person. Everyone heals differently, so its good to look at many experiences. AND I can now say, the surgery is not extremely painful- I'd say it is less painful than a migraine at the most extreme times, and on par with pain, to moderate menstrual cramps or a toothache. (Only things I can use to compare...haha sorry fellas)

First off, surgery scares me more than anything else imaginable, and altering my face?...forget it! I wont even get a tattoo! I had a break in elementary phys-ed which produced a crooked shortened nose post puberty, and that was just me, how I accepted my appearance, and want too hung up. No biggie!

BUT after trying to put my drugged girlfriend out of the club and into an SUV last summer, she ended up smashing my face into the vehicle when she kicked her heels off her stilettos in an attempt to flail herself inside. That break cost me my breathing and mashed my septum to the side, also producing some asymmetry that always caught my eye, and made me feel farther away from what I should look like without the compounding damage to my face.

I worked with my doctor to create a goal to get my breathing back through fixing my septum, and to reset the nasal bones and cartilage into something that looked like an aesthetic projection of what I would have looked like prior to the earliest onset of structural damage.

3 WEEKS PRIOR until the NIGHT BEFORE:
The onslaught of emotions kicks in when you have a confirmed date. Changing your face is terrifying, and the stigma of a "nose job" was turning my stomach. I would stay up into the wee hours of the morning freaking out and reading message boards where people hated the procedure (it does happen) and have faces like Rocky Dennis from the movie "The Mask". But I was comforted from this message board with photos and the video blogs on youtube.

The day before I could barely stand how afraid, anxious and depressed I was, fearing impending doom. My girlfriend stayed the night at my place eating junk food with me until my 12am cutoff, and told me abut going under the knife to reconstruct her ankle and to get new boobs. She calmed me down and my boyfriend cuddled me and I managed to sleep well.

DAY of SURGERY:
I woke up and was quite calm, and wanted a coffee :( I listened to some Black Keys and rode my bike around to clear my mind and arrived at the place early. The nurses were sweet motherly types and tried to keep me calm. My doctor froze my hand before putting the IV in and it was very comfortable, and his smile and confidence made me feel good.

The OR is creepy as hell though, all of the instruments (shuddder)... They put me in my back and had anesthetist pop some cold fluid into my IV and managed to ease my fears that would be aware of the pain when I was under, just before I was out.

I woke up and was excited to find my eyes not swollen shut, my face wasnt swollen at all and there was no packing in my nose, so I actually could use BOTH NOSTRILS immediately which was a treat. I felt pretty good and got the nurse to hook up the Percocets (Oxycodne+Acetaminophen) because when the freezing comes out, that is painful! Doc said he had to break my nose and straighten the cartilage as well as strengthen the cartilage in the tip, and everything went well.

I am a self proclaimed wuss, but I didn't complain about the pain, I had my best friend bring me freezies for under my eyes and of course, frozen tastiness and I didnt think I looked too bad at all. I worried about the tip, its big and long looking and swollen and red/purple. On the bright side, my nose stopped bleeding once I stayed put and I didnt need the drippy mustache pad.

DAY 2:
I slept about 5 hours, breathing through my nose by some miracle, yet upright, before the pain woke me, and paranoid thoughts (ugliness, scarring, social stigmas & gossip, looking weird or fake) made sure I wasn't going back to sleep. My face hasn't really swelled but I have some good-lookin' shiners and what appears to be a bit of freezie frost bite (I have to tone that down). My nose tip is swollen and my boyfriend isnt too pleased that I cant sleep. He groggily called me "red nosed reindeer" but when he actually looked at me he said "you look so good".

I got on RealSelf right away so I can ease my fears of my lower nose bulging off my face, and see that its very common for the swelling to accumulate there. AND here I am! Sharing my story, I will keep posting and I hope it helps someone out there! One love!

My post this morning seemed so upbeat, but later...

My post this morning seemed so upbeat, but later on day 2's afternoon, my face is really stuffy and sore, and my cast is loose, so Im a bit worried. I was so woozy I almost fainted on my way to the washroom. I wanted to do some work from home, but that is not gonna happen. Its all about ice and rest and water and painkillers.