: Here is My Breast Journey

Hi Ladies (and Gents!). I am 36 yrs old with one...

Hi Ladies (and Gents!). I am 36 yrs old with one teenager. I am 6'1, roughly 145. I have been 6'0 since 16, and grew another in.when I was pregs w/my kid at 19. I never "filled" out up top, and when my milk came after childbirth I filled up alright--to DD's. Not long after, though, they deflated back down to a B. I have always wanted bigger breasts, and because of various reasons over the years never got them. Now, older and wiser (and smaller- A cup) I am excited to say I am days away to my surgery date.

Omg! Wanna talk anxiety? Yep, that's me....

Omg! Wanna talk anxiety? Yep, that's me. Yesterday, I went to my PS's office to pay for my new ladies. However, I'm torn as to what size I should get. One part of me just wants a good handful, and the other part of me doesn't even know for sure how much that would take to get to. Since I am 6"1 my anatomy, obviously, is different. And only having feedback from one wonderful woman who stands 5"11 isn't enough. I wonder, why tall women don't get boob jobs? Are most already born with them? Or do most like their natural breast, no matter what the size? I know being tall as I am is not natural (or common) but seriously, the 1000.s of breasts ive looked at, maybe 15-20 have been close to 6 feet but NONE my size.
Last night I did the "rice check." lol. (yes, I'm obsessed) thought: if I'm THIS obsessed about getting them, does it mean maybe I should go with the bigger size ? I was originally thinking 400cc's but then I've started to second guess and contemplate 350-375cc's. I am going behind the muscle but I do not know how much of a difference this will account for.

Surgery is next Tuesday. I know it'll be here before I can realize it. I've read sooooo many stories about women in pain. Well, I'm a chronic patient with 2 different chronic problems and one of them is pain. I'm concerned because I know my doctor gives out oxy's but I already take oxy daily (5x-for over a year). And let's say I get a toothache, these oxy's do not affect that kind of pain for me or my period. So, I wonder what options he has. I've lived with ailments for quite some time, and te last thing I want is to purposely put myself in more pain. My doctor does participate in rapid recovery, and he swears by it. I asked about the pain pump and he says he does not do it, though others he practices with have that option. He claims "you won't need it!" gosh, wouldn't that be a miracle in itself if I did not? I'll have to post regarding that aspect once that time arrives......

6 more days....

This time next week, I'll have my new ladies riding with me. Oh, life is grand!

Just 4 days to go. Yes, my surgeon is very...

Just 4 days to go. Yes, my surgeon is very experienced. I have on my notes app of my iPhone a list of questions/concerns to go over with him before I go under. I'll be so relieved once this is over. Finding real self eases my mind, especially when real people post back to me personally. For one, I've noticed I talk less about it with my hubby bc I don't want to get on his nerves about it or with anyone else. Second, I get honey opinions and great information and advice from others who hsve been in my shoes. Lastly, since I've only told about 5 people (and finally my 17 year old today- which she rocks and supports me) I feel like we have our own secret society here. Although, we don't know one another we KNOW one another because in some way we are all looking for something within ourselves that others just don't understand or they're too passive, shy, or embarrassed to admit to themselves how they feel so they simply read our comments but don't do anything for themselves.
Honesty, I'm outgoing, outspoken, and relentless. When I want something I get it. I'm a 110% person in anything i do in life. Hopefully, if anything, someone can read this and take the message with them and speak up if they don't like something and not live in fear. I hsve chosen not to tell many people about this bc really what's to tell? It is a big deal for me but for others probably not so much.
I suppose I'll shut up now.
Real self--thanks for allowing us going through what we are to be able to come here and share our stories and hold each others hand via electronic device. If what you're doing wasnt helping or working we wouldn't be here or keep coming back.

Does anyone have recommendations on what to use...

Does anyone have recommendations on what to use for my scars and to lessen the appearance? I'm going under the fold.

I almost fell like i am pregs and getting close to...

I almost fell like i am pregs and getting close to giving birth. I feel like I am nesting...busy getting the house in order, and my husband is totally helping me. Tonight, I found myself in Wal-Mart and I bought a few items. Mainly, I went to buy PJ's with button front tops, and I got a couple of different ones. I also bought a nude front clasp sports bra..I could not help myself. I am aware I may not get to wear it for a long time, if ever, and that is ok. I have my receipt. I also bought a couple of cutsy things that were totally on dirt cheap sale (well, it is wal-mart, and I am an AVID VS shopper with Black CC from there, ha). My husband is finding me very sexy tonight....LMAO. I am on my period though, and this worries me some, bc of potential blues I may get after the surgery.
DEAR GOD: All I ask for is two symmetrical twins, that are healthy and and natural. Please God, allow this journey to be a wonderful experience like so many other women have had. In Jesus name.....

Oh my. I'm sitting here trying to go to sleep, and...

Oh my. I'm sitting here trying to go to sleep, and instead I keep running the surgery, post op, and my results in my head. I found myself wishing I wasn't going through with this. That I'm making a mistake.

Oh my. I wonder what my husband would say.

Do I have cold feet? Or ....?

Saturday night...Sunday morning really. I am not...

Saturday night...Sunday morning really. I am not really thinking too much about my surgery on Tuesday. I am aware, though, that time is slowly creeping by. I am trying to enjoy it while I can, since it's technically my vacation.

Its Wednesday night, and I'm feeling quite...

Its Wednesday night, and I'm feeling quite indescribable good. I know in my heart that my recovery process I owe to my husband. He's been there 150%. Sometimes too much, but I wouldn't want another person. I'll post more in a little while.

OK, for those ladies who are kind enough and...

OK, for those ladies who are kind enough and curious to watch my story, especially as their day comes near.. I have been in and out of it over the past few days and before I go pick up a different script from my doctor, I am going to try to write to you all now. Immediately upon coming out of surgery and rolled into recovery (w/o my husband) I had a nurse by the name of Stephanie. She was extremely cruel. I think once you are suppose to be in recovery they are to hook you up on pain meds but I never went back to sleep from the type they put me under until I came home. I conveyed that "my fucking back is killing me!" But I never once cursed her, just my back.,...it didn't feel right and I am a chronic care patient. Nevertheless, they gave me some high potent meds, that still did not make me comfy. I was extremely miserable. Byt then my hubby was there and when the nurses undid my bra and gauze I looked at my husband who's facial expression told me they weed hideous. He swears up and down it was because he thought i was in pain and it hurt him. So, I started crying and a lot. I did this for me, but no one wants their husband to find them repulsive. i think, as he has been the one taking the photos that has all changed.

BTW: the doc gave me 350cc (silicone gel). I say I wish they were bigger, my husband says they are perfect.

Anyway, it is great to have my hubby here for support. He has even surprised me. And for that, he's being showered with LOTS of praises. The pain is no where near like it was (when it felt like an elephant literally walked through my chest cavity through to my spine). getting groggy again...I'll write soon.

Well, today makes it 3 days since my surgery. I...

well, today makes it 3 days since my surgery. I honesty feel pretty darn good, considering. I even drove today for the first time, though, I probably could have gone a day or two longer. My husband and I went back to my PS's office to pick up a different script of pain meds. I know my doc meant well, because he is a phenomenal surgeon, but the meds he gave me were a joke. However, there was no problem getting something different. I went to home depot to pick out a couple of flowers for my flower bed, and my garden still hasn't been planted either, but I have my ways of getting things like that complete. (it's nice to know how to bat my eyelashes, and even better that I have a "honeydew" man...honey will you "do" this Honey can you "do" that). I have to admit I am a tad sad they are small. MY husband disagrees with the size. I bought a VS bra 36 C the other day day, and as long as I do stay a C, I will not com pain. Besides, I have to keep in mind I do have chronic back problems, and I know I do not want to add more problems. so, I will post some updated pics. I hope this will help others by me putting myself out there like this, and most importantly, I am doing this for me. So, it's nice to share and see my progress with all of those who appreciate what I am doing. And for those who are just scanning our profiles to add their negative comments, as I have seen others do to some women, you can just keep your pessimism to yourself, because I do not in any way need your opinion if it is not positive. I never needed boobs to make me feel good about myself. I already know, i am a strong, vivacious, beautiful woman. Now, I have a little more on top, and trying on clothes with bigger breasts makes me even more s,v and b!

Today marked my two weeks since my surgery....

Today marked my two weeks since my surgery. Really, there is not too much to update as far as my breasts are concerned, and that is because everything is going great. I have boobs. They look great, I have not had any significant problems. To me, their like a new toy, so the newness definitely has not worn off yet. My only complaint is how sensitive my nipples have noticeably become over the past four to five days. It is uncomfortable. When anything rubs them (clothes, bra, hands, inanimate objects) I do not like it. It is not excruciating pain or anything, it is just super sensitive. I like to think perhaps it would be comparable to how a man feels about his set of twins below. My only anticipation now is my next check-up (4 weeks to go) so I can then get the ok to wear a real bra, and for me, that means push up, pretty and with wire. I am also uploading my "2 week video" so that will be in more depth if anyone is interested in listening to me ramble. Good luck to all, my only regret is that I waited as long as I did. However, God obviously has his reasons, and even though we now have an extra bill a month (almost like a car payment), my husband is my number one supporter and fan. I love that I can walk around the house in front of him in anything or nothing and NOT feel self-conscious about any part of my body. It certainly has boosted our relationship in romance as well as everything else. Real talk!

My breasts are bothering me!!! I feel very...

My breasts are bothering me!!! I feel very uncomfortable and don't know why!!! I'm scared.

Now I am kind of freaking. Ddanigirl, while gave...

Now I am kind of freaking. Ddanigirl, while gave great emotional support, also gave new insight to something I was completely unaware of; that is the Muscle becoming separated. Omg. Now I wonder, did I do too much to soon? Could that be happening to me. Now I don't want to use to arms or anything that requires movement in the region. I'm really hoping this is just part of the healing process, as far as the weirdness I have going on inside me.

I just want to cry.....I think I should have...

I just want to cry.....I think I should have called the PS office today to see what is their opinion, but I didn't. I don't know why I am so uncomfortable.

So, Peridot...I definitely don't feel better...

So, Peridot...I definitely don't feel better hearing you're e in pain; if fact, I hate that for you. Trust me, I have a sense of humor and I know you're only trying to cheer me up. Thanks! I guess I am just a "Debbie Downer" right now. Initially, my husband was more then fantastic, but he is not the same caring person. I know he just does not understand, and the comments he's made only prove that men are completely different on levels of support. (I know he means well). So, TG!!! you commented on my behalf. I even posted a question on here to the doctors. You see, I take a good dosage amount daily of pain meds (I am a chronic care patient) and need them to feel normal. It is funny how they work for all my pain problems but do nothing for toothaches or BA's! LOL! I do have valium and I two earlier, among others, and I can feel that it is helping, just as long I do not have to use my arms. (hmm...) I am not really a "stomach sleeper" but I have been on my side for a week or maybe a tad longer. As far as involving the use of my arms (muscles required) I seriously feel like I am on my first few days. Leaving for work at 6am, then attending college, makes 15 hour days long. Long story short, in lieu of your question yes, I do overdue it. However, I will not exert myself until until I am able do see/talk to my PS.
I am praying it is only what you have had the displeasure of going through. I am definitely hitting the depression "blues" right now. Here is my first low point, and "one" person reached out to me, thanks!! I hope it is nothing but normal progression, but I'm still going to have a good cry....

Ok, now that I am home and have taken more muscle...

Ok, now that I am home and have taken more muscle relaxers and scheduled pain meds I am resting comfortably. I hope my videos have been uploading correctly. I'll remember to check that. Anyways, to P and Mshun, Thanks y'all. Both of you feel like my bff's today; checking on me, relating to me, sharing intimate things with me, and helping me remain confident and supporting me through my journey. It's funny, "p" last night after I blogged with you, I had to go out to my car, and as I was inside getting something, I felt what you have discussed (a "zinger"). It happened right on the top part of my left breast. It was real quick, kind of a burning, electrifying sensation. I immediately thought of you when it happened. Thank Goodness for your info prior. I probably would have freaked out some more. Today, after making my way to the hospital to check on my mom, I wasn't having nearly as bad of a day as I have been, but now that the day has been long, I am glad to be home resting, again. After talking to my Aunt, who is a RN and a BA patient herself, I may take a tad longer now (since my recent chemo treatment). It just stinks, still. Considering what I went through 18 days ago, I thought this was going to continue to be a piece of cake. Thanks again for talking to me. Gosh, I would feel lost without others here. I don't go to that other website you talked about "p". I have been there, but I am comfortable here. I feel safe here for some reason. any of y'all that read this story, if you feel like you have something you think you could share, but just never decide to say it, please do. Even if it questions about your up and coming surgery. I know I once would read but never comment. Commenting, asking questions, and getting to know other women's stories is extremely helpful. No question is a stupid question, the only thing stupid is not asking.

You know, I just had a thought and want to share...

You know, I just had a thought and want to share it: I know PS docs are all about having their patients take pain meds for no more than a few days. For many reasons, I understand their reasonings. However, because I am a chronic patient, and pain being one of them, I do have prescriptions of pain meds. There is absolutely no way (18days later) after what I have been experiencing would I be a happy camper if I did not have the scripts I have to help ease (nothing ever goes away 100%) my pain. So, if you are a lady out there in pain or are uncomfortable, or starting to become uncomfortable (again) after you have been doing so well, like me, open your mouths, talk to your doc, be persistent. The pain management place I go to, it is a motto, if you will, that if you are in pain, you will not heal. Your body will not heal as fast as it should, it can't if your brain is saying there's pain, and if that pain is keeping you stressed. I don't condone or want anyone to become reliant or dependent on these meds, I just want everyone to have a great experience, as much as we spend---or our husband's----we should!!! That's my two cents for the day....

Ok, Sorry y'all, I just figured out what I was...

Ok, Sorry y'all, I just figured out what I was doing wrong on uploading my videos. So, I am re-adding them now. I am corky, so please forgive....

I just want to state, the video I uploaded that is...

I just want to state, the video I uploaded that is a minute long---I swear on my life to you (of course, I cracked up when I found this) I DO NOT REMEMBER doing this video. I remember it now, after i watched it a couple of times....When I said I read other women's blogs and they said pain was fine and I was like "WHATEVER" I got tickled.

Wow! I must admit, quite a number of doctors...

Wow! I must admit, quite a number of doctors responded to ny last question which involves Remicade (chemo infusion). I do not know how I can reply to the comments they made on that page or if it's possible. So, I will post my general thoughts here, unless someone can tell me how to respond to them on the "ask a question" page.

Anyways, I know what Remicade is. I know it's lowers my immune system. In fact, it wipes it out. I'm well informed on risks involved with this treatment. I have been on it over a year and at 20000 an infusion (per 8 weeks) you bet your ass I know quite a bit. That's a lot of future tit money-gone.

I have called my PS offic this morning and left a message that perhaps I need to be seen. My GI called my PS and between the two they both felt I would be fine. However, I'm thinking 1) I did overdo it from the get go. Which probably would not have been so bad if I didnt get Remicade 2 weeks post
Op which 2) I think halted, if not made me take a couple steps back in recovery. A lot is known about BA and a lot of info is out there for Remicade. However, there's not any info out there linking the two. Before the infusion, 2 GI docs and a nurse inspected my incisions, as that seemed to be the biggest deal for them. While I was completely closed on both, I've noticed from the beginning that the left breast incision is not like the right. Meaning: it's bigger, not healing as fast, noticable, and what alarms me is how it feels underneath when I rub my finger across it. I was told we have sutures inside us (that do dissolve away and will smooth out) today makes my 3 wk mark and when I touch/look at my right breast you can't tell where I was cut by visual or touch. The left, it's still lumpy, thick and yucky feeling. This guy is suppose to be phenomenal and i still believe he is, and I know from having surgeries how I heal, personally (before infusions). At least it is under my breast and not noticeable to the naked eye but I'm concerned why it is still lumpy underneath. My breasts are still (muscles) tender, like I've exercised really hard. I I "forget" and try to pull myself up by arms in my chair at work or scoot myself up in bed, it's not possible using JUST hands planted and pushing up/back/wherever. However, happily the uncomfortable tingling/sensitive sensation my nipples were experiencing have subsided. Thank god, bc I can walk around naked all day.

I really hope I am just "slowing" down and will have to be extra patient on healing completely. I'd die if I had an infection or something that would require more surgical work/repair! Please god! Don't make me regret this decision. But I have to stay healthy! I am about to graduate and just found out I'll be receiving now a third scholarship for my graduate program in the fall. I've worked so hard, while sick and still employed, I can't be down in health. I've been there before and right now that doesnt fit into my schedule.



If I had an infection wouldn't I be sick/running a fever?

My husband (bless his soul) is a screw up and he's...

My husband (bless his soul) is a screw up and he's my honeydew. You know"honey,
Do this..." "honey, do that ..." he pisses me off nearly on a daily basis and sometimes...well...I better not write all my feelings here. However, he's the only man (the first) I have ever fell in love with and almost 5 womderf/stinking years together, last night was a reminder of why he's te guy for me..

Laying on the bed, with chest bare sitting there, kind of sulking. He's asked why. I told him I look mangled bc of my scars. He touches them, examines them,
Tells me stories of scars he got (not by BA ;) ) and then he tells me the one thing no one else has...(of course he does get a real view) he says, they're fine, they're healing great actually, they look beautiful--like you.

Thanks love.....

UPDATE: Monica (RN) called me and we spoke. Long...

UPDATE: Monica (RN) called me and we spoke. Long story, short I told her I need an afternnoon appt. I take off a lot already & I don't lie to my boss but she does not
Know I've had a BA. So, makes it hard to explain...
Monica says well he won't be here that late until Monday. Ok? So there are 59 million medical staff there. Can't someone just "look at me!?" not today at my time. We agreed I'd be there Monday around 3 :00.
However, upon discussing my concern: she "claims"-- no fever, not hot to touch, redness- no infection. Told her feeling like I took several steps back day after infusion. She says "to take it easy". She is wonderfully polite, but "really, no shit!" I never did get an explanation/excuse about WHY my left incision feels/looks far worse than the other.
Guess I'll have to wait. Oh and
Of course if I start running fever to call back. Duh....

Oh my. Word of advice ladies: If you are in any...

Oh my. Word of advice ladies: If you are in any stage of recovery where you are experiencing soreness, aches, pains, or you are under restriction DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE wear your "favorite" jeans unless you have someone near that won't mind buttoning them for you!

I'm 3 weeks post-op and I put on a pair of rock revivals this morning. They fit perfect and require a little strength to button them. I barely was able, and due to time I had none left to change my jeans. Now, I'm at work, and the second time (now at work) did not agree with my body. You use the muscles that are surrounding the breasts. 1) it was the scariest feeling what I felt (hard to explain) 2) now my breasts are aching more than before (centralized on the sides) 3) did I do any harm/damage to them/me? That keeps running through my mind

TG for having the one of two people who know at work be a girl and cool enough to ome button my britches for me! Geez....

I'd hate to call the PS office over this. But I'm real protective of this investment and more importantly ME, which is priceless! ;)

So I wakened from a dead sleep last night...

So I wakened from a dead sleep last night screaming. I had this feeling as if I was being electrocuted in my right breast (in the nipple area) every few seconds for at least 10-12 times did this occur, only lasting for just a few
Seconds tops. Husband asked if we needed to go to the hospital. Of course, I said no. Anyone experiencing this?

Today I have an appt with my PS that I made early...

Today I have an appt with my PS that I made early last week. After a dose of a chemo infusion, I felt like I hit ground zero or at least back at day 2-3 of my original surgery date. I have been taking life slower (again) which has not been so bad, bc all of my spring yard work and garden has been basically done at my direction via my husband. Still...now I almost feel silly going. But with chemo there's no way to fight any infection and I did have some genuine scare so I am going to keep this appt which honestly I think if you have general heatlh problems one extra shoul be made inbetween your one week and 6 week check up. Just for safe measures. I know most women are healthy that undergo BA's, but a lot of us have chronic issues that to look at us no one can tell. So hopefully this tid bit of info might help the next woman out. I'll update after I see him. Pray for me y'all.

Ok. So happy bday to my ladies today. They are 4...

Ok. So happy bday to my ladies today. They are 4 weeks old, healthy bouncy full of life and have graduated into wired 34 D's. (prior 36 A). It's nice to finally get some sense on how I look now in clothes with bras we all love. Amazing! Anyways, if you'd like to hear more I've posted an update diary video. Enjoy! Lmao.....thanks "D" for the reminder to do it.

I have added some videos that are before surgery,...

I have added some videos that are before surgery, right after, etc... Please feel free to at least laugh at me. When you're nervous (well when I am) I tend to ramble or drugged up, well....you'll see. Feel free to ask ?s

I have had this headache literally since Sunday...

I have had this headache literally since Sunday morning...it is now the wee hours of Saturday morning...I have missed two days of work, and the doctor I saw yesterday, I feel, was more interested in my breasts, along with every other piece of me, except my head. (Eww!) So, nonetheless, I got absolutely nowhere with him. The pharmacist at the place I USED to fill my scripts (notice past tense) was extremely rude, overall, and I will NEVER, and i mean NEVER go back to them.

Hi ladies. Sorry for not posting in a bit. It's...

Hi ladies. Sorry for not posting in a bit. It's been a hectic past 2 weeks with work, finals, preparation for transferring to a different school in the fall, ceremonies, shopping for the ceremonies, moments of loud, outbursts of sobbing due to my chronic pain, oh, and how can I forget my lovely life at home? Whee! I'm already feeling exhaustion fom these first few lines.

Anywho..."D" I miss you. FB me or something girlie girl. Miss you. xoxo.

Scrappy, as far as the rice tests go...if you want...message me and after we discuss it, I'll get you my pics of actual rice testing. Personally, I feel (for what I remember) its fairly close. However, when we discuss it, we'll need to make sure our measurements match. Seems like I found 2 differents "matters of opinions." anyway, I hope I'm not too late , with so much on my plate I cannot recall off hand your surgery date. **sorry** but you have been in my thoughts daily (as well as my D....)

I do have a new video but I cannot upload until I'm on my home pc. So hopefully, no later than tonight.

Love all you all!!!!!

Still loving my breasts, very happy with this...

Still loving my breasts, very happy with this decision.

Well I've past the three month mark now officially...

Well I've past the three month mark now officially. I've actually been doing most of my updates via blog at YouTube where if you wanna check that out I believe you can probably find me just searching mizzbakersjourney. Nonetheless, everything is going just fine. I still get these little twitches/aches/shocks, if you will, inside my breasts. Hubby absolutely loves them, and that's enough said about him.

If you've been warned not to go out right away and spend a lot of money on bras--DON'T! It's the truth. I mean I've got more than a handful, well probably two handfuls --first set 34-36 C then once clearered to wear wired bras at 4 weeks I went up to a 34 D. For more than a month now l


They fit tight and hit my breasts just right (the wire part does) and it hurts. Obviously I don't believe I need a smaller size but I haven't been refitted yet either. I don't believe my band size needs to go bigger bc I've not gained weight, actually lost some but that's typical for me. Some of you all might think it comes from washing. But I know that's not the case. I know how to do laundry and i don't even use the dryer for my personal items bc I've been tall my whole life--besides when you wear bras they always stretch out just from wearing.....

So don't waste too much money. Shirts you should be cool on regardless I love having my boobs in time for the summer. We hsve our pool up and I think I've worn my bikini top one time. My hubby and I caught our neighbors (new) boyfriend (even have him on survelliencd cameras) looking and gawking when he could over the privacy fence. Hubby said I should text her and tell her she owes me $50. I asked for what. He said, because she's about to get "lucky" when her man goes in. LMAO. Gotta love my man.

BUT DONT FORGET SUNBLOCK TO PLACE ON YOUR SCARS AND ALLOW TIME FOR IT TO SOAK IN BEFORE GOING IN THE SUN!!
Have fun y'all.
Dr. T

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
4 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
4 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
4 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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