The reality of my MM Journey - 1 year later

Hey everyone,
just wanted to update everyone on my process. 1 year later my belly is flat and tight and the swelling is finally gone forever. My scar looks a lot better due to cortisol shots and at 10 months I pierced my belly button. I also finally tattooed my belly and it looks amazing.

As you all know I suffer from an eating disorder and have been fluctuating with my weight all year.
When I do gain weight its goes everywhere else, especially to my back fat which makes me look wider and disfigured.
luckily I work out regularly so I can eat the foods I love and not get fat. Balancing all that out has helped me maintain a healthy weight so far which I'm content with.

My tummy tuck wasn't the answer to all my problems as I thought it would be because I still have a [RS bleep] load of them lol. I've had a lot of people criticise me and ask me why I spent all this money on my body, how vain I am, how I didn't need it and so on. But I've also had so many compliments of people saying how amazing I look which is just so comforting to hear considering that I'm still so self- conscience .
I suffer from Body Dimorphic Disorder from hating my body since I could remember so its sometimes hard to see myself as I am now - I still see myself as that unhappy fat girl that was never content with how she looked . But once in a while I do look in the mirror and say to myself, " wow I look fucken amazing".
Having this TT was definitely was something that I needed to do for myself and for nobody else and I'm happy I did. Its definitely helped my confidence so much more.

During this year I have seen what not taking care of my body will do , and I've seen what taking care of it does and this is when I'm happiest with my body. Yes my tummy is flat , but if I don't take care of it than what's the point of being big all over with a flat tummy. it just looks silly on me considering all the money I spent.
This is why I need to be careful and that's going to be probably the biggest struggle from here on. But it definitely makes it easier knowing I wont have to worry about the belly pouch anymore.

Anyways ladies. This will probably be the last post I write from here on. As I don't have anything more to say. I was considering deleting my account before writing this today but I decided that I will leave it a bit longer in case anyone wanted to relate to my experience in knowing they are not alone.

Thank you ladies for all the wonderful support during this year and remember that we all deserve to be happy and to spoil ourselves once in a while. Never regret anything that makes you smile :)
And remember , " what we eat in private, we wear in public"

Cheers xoxo


My doctor has been amazing with me , he did all my revisions for free and even pierced belly and gave me cortisol shots for the thick scars I had which has helped a lot. I'm content with the results . Theyre a good as can be considering my lifestyle during is year.
ladies our bodies depend on how we take care it . What we eat in private, shows in public.

Overall pretty happy with how u look with clothing so far

Hey everyone!
I know its been a while since I last posted but honestly I didn't feel that I had anything of value that I wanted to share with you guys since than.
I'm not going to lie and say that it has been smooth sailing because it hasn't.

As you know I was a little disappointed that the doctor wasn't able to pull anymore skin down to remove my stretch marks (so he says) . So not only was
I still looking at my ugly stretch marks again, but now i had to look at a vertical scar, and long ugly incision as well, and at that point having to wait 1 year before I could tattoo it, felt like an eternity. This made me very depressed, and when I'm depressed I usually eat...A LOT.

I've suffered from a eating disorder since i was a teenager.
I found that it hit me worse when i was depressed or stressed. I have no self-control around food and i eat until i painfully full, because i feel that its my only comfort when im going through these issues.

I had finally thought I had overcome the worst of this disorder before I went into surgery. I started to educate myself on how to take care of my body and it worked out well for me because eating healthy and exercising really is the only permanent solution for weight loss.
I finally looked and felt good for once in my life. Surgery for me was just the icing to the cake and I honestly thought that all my body issues would be over.

3 months after my surgery I became very depressed because my results weren't looking like i thought they would, and didn't feel like myself . I picked up a lot of bad eating habits -
and when i say bad, i mean BAD - like eating a whole jar of Ben and Jerrys ice-cream to myself bad, a whole plate of nachos , fried food was on the menu pretty much every day. I was Binge eating.
I pretty much turned a blind eye to everything i knew about living a healthy lifestyle and just didn't care anymore . I just wanted eat all the food in the world.

I also liked the fact that no matter how much I ate my tummy wouldn't be as bloated as it did before. I also suffered from a lot swell hell during these first months, ( i still get now if i eat junk) which back than didn't click that probably 90% of it was contributed by my bad eating habits.
I willfully turned a blind eye to everything. I honestly thought that i was invincible. I thought I wouldn't gain anymore weight and that my swelling would go down at 6 months like they say it will..

well... 6 months passed you know they say that after a tummy tuck you don't gain weight on your tummy? Well , you don't , but you do gain a lot of weight all over the place which makes you and your tummy look huge anyways especially to someone who is only 5.3.
I ended up gaining 12 lbs of pure fat from 123 post op to 135- on my small frame that is a lot.
I started to see cellulite on my butt and thighs ,the area around my inner thighs started to expand. I grew a double chin, huge arms, and my back fat came back which was making me look wider. What really shocked me the most was that I was starting to see the beginning of a new roll growing.
Yes the top part of my tummy was flat, but everything else didn't look proportioned.
Not only did I feel un fit, flabby and heavy, I became very depressed because I spent all this money on a surgery that was supposed to change my life and I was watching myself throw it all down the drain, and that was a real eye opener for me .

This recovery has taught me a lot about myself. I am not genetically blessed or have a fast metabolism
Yes my tummy is flat, but If I consume more calories than I burn, I will gain weight.
This Mommy over surgery did not make me invincible.
Surgery was not the answer to all my problems, yes the nip and tuck helped a bit, but the rest was totally up to me. And my results from here on are going to depend on how I decide to take care of myself.

My goal weight is 120 and I now weigh 128 and I feel better than ever. I slowly weaned myself back to eating clean 80-90% of the time, which not only works out well for me - but my swelling is pretty much gone now.

I also finally started to get my exercise routine back which is slowly toning everything up again. Now, because my tummy is flat it gives me more motivation to work out because I'm seeing faster results. One day at time.

I have a couple concerns about my results though. As you can see in the pictures since my swelling has gone down, I have noticed that I have a lump of fat or skin on my left side - i don't know if I caused this myself by gaining weight or if it was left by the doctor after surgery. Any how, last week i talked to my surgeon about it and he was willing to suck out 3 ccs or so of fat at the end of this month for free which i'm really happy about.
I still feel like i have extra skin. He says that because of my stretch marks, my skin will always look like that.

I have also recently noticed that my breasts have dropped way to much for my liking... I really miss them being high. Maybe its just me and my OCD, but my left boob looks like it has dropped way more than the right and to me it looks crooked which is also bothering me. I will mention that to my surgeon next time i see him.



I will update in a couple months after i get my revision done.

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long review, It feels really good to let all this out of my system .Happy healing everyone . xo