The Breast Question - Buffalo, IL

I'm really looking for true insight here. Not...

I'm really looking for true insight here. Not just: having a BA will change your life, or everything is perfect after you have boobs.
I want to know how you see yourself now that you've gone through with it, what was the best part, the worst part, why you're happy you did it....
It all started in middle school. I was small vs other girls I thought looked like high schoolers. We are all so impressionable at that age. (I've talked about this with my therapist!....I think everybody should at some point or another.) well, I accepted my fate. My older sister had tiny breasts too so I knew that was it. I decided to focus my energy on being good at school. I told myself: don't get down you're good at other things, you're just not beautiful like those other girls. That sounds wakeful now that I type it. Ugh. I'm a pretty confident person until it comes to boobs.
In the bedroom I rarely let my husband touch them let alone look at them. I've been trying to get over this for ten years. It bothers both of us. I wonder if this could change without me getting a BA?
Sooo my questions are:
1-Can I muster up the courage to get the breasts that a BA can give me? (Yes)
2-Will I have regrets after I have a BA?
3-Do they ever really feel like mine?
4-Will I have better sex without being so self conscious about how i look?
5-How long will they last without needing revision?

Consulting PS with my questions

Information is a powerful thing. My heart tells me I'd love to have breasts, my spirit fears the unknown, my mind says do the research. I've scheduled an appointment to discuss my questions. Hopefully I'll be in a better place to make a wise decision.

My stats

I'm 5'0", 105lb, 35 yrs old.
Married for a decade and four kids.
Always been small. Breasts never filled an A cup.
I've wanted a B cup since high school.
I'm going back and forth about the procedure but last night I thought I should do it and take a chance on living a little. I'm not in high school so I know it has to be a calculated and responsible risk. I have little people to take care of ....and one big person ;) and me!

Bra help

Sizers, sizes and profiles

I'm feeling better now. Really considering the pros, how this would positively affect me. Still know that it's a big commitment though...
Went with a friend to ease my mind and try some sizers on. We agreed we liked the look of the 250cc but to get that look we'd need to go with 275cc. That was the dr's recommendation. To go up 25 because it goes under the muscle it loses a bit of volume.
Profiles also affect the look not just volume. A smaller volume with a high profile can look bigger that the same volume with moderate profile. That's what I understood from the doctors forum here on RS.
Still thinking, trying not to fret but closer to making a decision. Will speak to the surgeon this week.

Emotional mess

I've been teary, emotional, and a royal mess....I think I'm going to get my period soon. Not so positive as usual. I'm freaking out about this augmentation thing.
Dr answered all my questions. Surprisingly attentive. Didn't rush me. I felt like, ok I can do this. He knows what he's doing.
Tried on sizers and liked the 250cc.
But then these butterflies and anxiety take over. I've thought about thus for years but I don't know how I'll feel with boobs. Never had that feeling.
At night, my mind was racing. Is this me? Am I ready for this? Should I wait? Ugh...I'm going to freshen up now and put some makeup on. Maybe this will help me feel better.

Too much noise in my head

Sooooo, after having a miserable last couple days, thinking, dreaming, questioning and wondering......I've decided to stop the noise in my head and give myself a break. I was not excited as much as I was worried about the BA scheduled for this month.
I spoke to my support team and 2 out of 3 said I should take as much time as I needed to make a confident choice. I could always reschedule later. The thought of pressing the pause button on this whole thing took a brick load off my shoulders.
I felt disappointed I couldn't go ahead with it but recently I've been dealing with some unresolved issues and instead of pushing them aside and hoping the sx would make them go away, I've chosen to deal with them head on. Full force. I'm welcoming the issues, my past, and accepting that this whole situation has actually brought to the surface things I never wanted to face.
So, in light of this, I've decided to cancel the procedure until further notice. (Sigh! And smile)
Even though I was seeing myself with a new body now I'm starting to see myself in a new state of mind. It's like a new stage. I will reconsider the BA in the near future but with a healthier spirit and stronger conviction.

Talk about it all the time

I'm unsure of doing a BA but my husband and I keep coming back to the breast question! I think if I was gutsy and brave enough I'd do it and be happy with the end result. But it's the journey of the breasts that stops me....I'll have to have another procedure at one point and the real question is:..... Will all the money and pain and effort be worth it even though the results are temporary?
I saw a lot of 60 year olds removing their implants and if this is the trend then would it be worth it to have them for 20 yrs then go back to nothing?
So many emotions, not easy. I'm giving myself till the spring to figure this out before I put it to rest.

It's spring! Revisiting augmentation.

I said I'd wait till the spring and I did. Made the call. Scheduled the aug for next month. It's like I don't have all the answers but the desire it have breasts is bigger than everything else.

Surgery done! 250'cc high profile silicone unders

As I'm writing I'm surprised it's over. All my fretting and worrying about the sx, going through with it, not going through with it. Now I'm on the other side!

Well, I had a good night sleep sitting up in bed, few pillows propping me up. Took a pain pill and stool softener before bed. Woke up around 1:30 am and took a Tylenol pm which helped.
From the little I can see or feel it seems my skin is not ultra tight. I nursed my babies so that probably did the trick plus I went with the smallest size implant my ps recommended. I could've gone up to 375cc! Yikes, didn't want to be huge. Going from AA to a D not what I was looking for at all. Im hoping for a nice full B. I'll have to wait till next week.

All strapped up!

I heard of people complaining about the dreaded strap but now I've seen-and felt it- with my own boobs! :)

I really hate it and took it off for ten minutes to take a breather. Oh my gosh. What a relief. But I really don't want to ruin anything so I've been dealing with the discomfort under the arms and the pressure over the breasts.

I'm wondering if I went too small. I have my post op on Thursday when I find out what they look like.

I wish they were bigger!

Now I'm the one complaining about my breast size looking too small! I honestly thought that after being AA all my life that being a B cup would satisfy and overwhelm me. I'm actually worrited that my 250cc unders won't give me a B cup! ugh....big sigh :(

Even though I'm only 4 days post and have my post op appt on Thursday, I did what we all do, I peeked. I saw cleavage, sorry no pictures yet. A plump, cute, little breast. Nothing that stretched my skin into oblivion-which I was trying to avoid-but thought that it would be as much as my engorged breastfeeding breasts. Not so.... I think I filled a B cup bra nicely and then a bit more. I was maybe a small C.

I was looking for a full B cup and I'm not sure I obtained that with my procedure. I think the biggest I would've gone was 300cc, then I went down to 275cc, then down to 250cc. I didn't take into account the truth that every woman has a different amount of her own breast tissue that will influence the outcome. I wonder if I had walked around with the implants like I've heard women do if that would have helped me make a better decision.

On the upside, pun intended :), my friend was over and she said they were exactly what I had told her I wanted! She smiled and thought they were perfect for me, like I was born with them! That was honestly super nice to hear and calmed me down a bit from my freaking out stage.

I know it's too early to tell if I will in fact be content and maybe be super happy with my choice. What would you do if you felt like you had gone too small? I'm definitely going to speak to my surgeon to weigh the options. Don't like the idea of going back and forth but what's done is done and hindsight is 20/20.

250cc HP silicone: I'm liking what I see

Before: 34 AA
Now: 34 B with 250cc HP

I'm still contemplating going bigger in the near future but I'm definitely liking what I see. It's already made such a big difference on how I feel about my body. Love the fullness.
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Comments (58)

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It sounds like you made a very reasoned decision and gave yourself lots of time to consider the options. It sounds like you got the boobs you really wanted - if you had gone bigger right now you may be worrying they are too big, rather than too small. Give yourself time to get used to them, you may find they feel like they just belong to you and you're thrilled! Or if not, you can always increase your size if you choose to later down the road. Nothing is unchangable (as we're all showing here!). I look forward to seeing pics, I'm sure you look beautiful!
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I know time always allows for a better perspective. The waters will settle and I can decide differently if need be. Thanks for the support Myriad! :)
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Can't wait to see pics!! I understand your doubts.....I've had them all my life until now. I had tuberous breasts, and I just kept telling myself that I didn't need nice boobs to be confident and happy, but it is so nice to let my partner really 'see' me naked without me covering up all the time...and more importantly, I can look at myself completely naked and feel comfortable:)
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Thanks. It was definitely a matter of being honest with myself about how I felt naked. I can't wait to see either. All I know is I can tell I'll have a little cleavage!
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Congrats on the boobs :) happy healing :):)
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Thanks so much! I'm hoping they're nice looking!
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Wow haha this is crazy! I'm scheduled for next month too! We seem to be in line with all our surgeries!
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How are you doing? Did you have your sx?
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I guess my best advice is this: it's an accessory. Would you spend $10k on a car that you were going to have for 10 years? Who knows how you'll react but let's say it goes well...
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That's an interesting point.... I know the benefits hopefully would outlast the maintenance. how long ago was your BA?
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9 years. And there was nothing wrong w my implants...that seems to be the exception, but that trend is changing.
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So my pics were finally posted. You can see from the before pics that I was about the same size as you to start with. The first doctor who posted a response to my question with pics has something very interesting you should see... especially since you don't have much tissue to begin with. He didn't address anything about removal though. I may have to post another question devoted just to that... wondering if mine will sag and how they will look afterwards. Looking at the complexity of the revision he's suggesting, makes me think even more about just getting rid of them. You on the other hand, if you are still set on doing this, may have an option to do what he's suggesting from the get go... to eliminate future issues with bottoming out, rippling, or animation deformity. Lots of women end up getting revisions later on. I'm telling you... no one told me about this when I was considering it...
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I'll check it out. Thanks. At this point I've decided to not do the aug. Feeling good about it. I like to stay informed though.
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Can't say I'm disappointed with your decision to put it off or maybe not do it altogether. Look at my before and after pics... I was going through a hard time myself when I went under the knife. Had just gotten a divorce and was feeling really insecure about my body. What's done is done now... and not too horrible... but still the before pics really do look like I was. I miss them :( In any case, good luck with everything, no matter what you decide.
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You are not horrible at all! I think you're going to bounce back after surgery....you can enjoy them on a different way. Do you think you might get implants again? Things have changed since 2000.
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I dunno. A lot of doctors are recommending a fat graft, which I didn't expect. I'm happy they think I can get to the desired look with natural materials, lol. They haven't seen the bottom half though. I have very little body fat. I'd hate to do anything to mess those up. Fat removal has issues too. My thoughts right now are to remove the implants. See how they respond then maybe do a fat graft later. I think the fat grafts are done by injection, not surgery and scars, so that is a plus. My scars are in the armpits and I'm reluctant to have anything on my breasts. Speaking of fat grafts... that might be an option for you too at some point! Check out the model I used as my desired look. Hers are very pretty!
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I think you've made a great choice to cancel/postpone... I feel we are in the same headspace at the moment and I'm pretty sure that I am going to come to the same decision as you this week. I think I'm going to give myself a year or 2 to try and accept this post baby body of mine and be happy in my own skin, and if not, then I can come back to this process and feel more confident in my choice. All the best with sorting through these issues of yours xx
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Hi m: just posted on your profile....I've slept so much better the last two days. Taking a breather , sigh of relief. I'm with you about the maintenance. I don't want my boobs to become the center of my life with or without implants. I'm dealing with my personal issues with a therapist. Yes, but I'm not crazy, just needed some help sorting through career changes and life choices. Everybody should think of giving it a try. Anyway, if I had the same confidence in the BA that I had in the TT I might go ahead with it but I don't. I'm thankful that we connected in some way even if just online.
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I did the same thing a while ago when I cancelled my BA surgery, I slept sooooo much better. That should really be an indication that perhaps we are just not ready for this step right now, if at all. Then I came back to it and started stressing all over again! I'm glad you're getting help sorting out your issues, I never once thought you were crazy and I totally agree that everyone needs someone to help sort things out when necessary! I was freaking out with my TT, but I'm glad I did it and I'm glad about the fact that when it's done, it's done... nothing more to worry about. I'm thankful too, I'm still jealous of all these women getting their gorgeous new boobs, but at the same time it's great that there is someone out there that feels the same as me so I know I'm not crazy!
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Not crazy! :) a little loopy maybe but we have 4 kids. There's something different about us right? Seriously, I'm happy I could encourage you. I told my friend yesterday that some of us, we're never totally satisfied, there's always something else we could do to look better. Sometimes we have to just take a step back in the mirror and love what we see. None of it's going to last in the end but look at us. We just got our bellies back!! That wasn't easy! We are looking great. Let's take a moment to revel in our beauty.
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yes 4 kids can do that to you! and here here, a moment is definitely needed :-) gosh that TT was a hard recovery! I'm 4 months now and I can finally sneeze without cringing in pain! I don't actually think I need to see my surgeon today lol... but I'll go anyway.
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I'm still in that sneezing hurts faze. I just wait until I can't hold it anymore then try to sneeze gently. I haven't worn jeans yet. They don't sound comfy enough. I'm too tender right at the hips.
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it's definitely a slow process, but it does get better after time. I was afraid I was going to hurt forever!
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I just posted this morning with pics of my breasts and questions about revision/removal... a good representation of what I looked like before... and also now. It's under review by the web mods, so you can check them out as soon as they are available. One thing you'll notice is what my boobs look like when my muscles are flexed. Which bugs me. A lot. There are some new procedures (subfascial??) that I've read don't have that issue. If I do replace them rather than just remove them, I'd prefer they find a way to fix that, if possible. It would be a huge factor in my decision to go with smaller or just remove them altogether.. in any case, please do your research on the best method. Your breasts are kinda like mine and spread out... and the under the muscle didn't give me much cleavage... hence making it more fake looking. Kind of defeats the purpose of getting implants if you are still self-conscious about them.
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Couldn't see your posted pics yet. It's an adjustment I can imagine. I hope you can fund the best solution. I'll check back later on your profile.
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