This week I turned 23 and after lurking this site...
This week I turned 23 and after lurking this site for 5 years, I went to my GP and asked him to refer me to a good plastic surgeon. The surgeon he referred me to is Dr Phillip Richardson. I have a family member who had her breasts done by Dr Richardson a few months ago and she seems very happy. However I have not heard whether he does do good rhinoplasty so I am nervous about the consultation since his website only mentions breasts.
My doctor has however assured me that this is who he has referred all of his patients to for nose jobs and that Dr Richardson is the "best" plastic surgeon in Brisbane. I know that its important to choose a surgeon that specializes in rhinoplasty and although I didn't see it mentioned on his website, my GP assured me that he was. I would really like to hear from anyone on this forum who has had their nose done by Dr Richardson since I can't find anything online about his rhinoplasty work. My GP also recommended another doctor, Dr Andrew Broadhurst if it turns out that I don't feel Dr Richardson is suited to the job.
I am feeling really stressed out about this as the reason I have waited so long to get a nosejob is because I am terrified of turning out like some of the celebrities out there that have absolutely shocking nosejobs! I have always hated my nose and see it as a curse. It doesn't suit my face and is the ugliest shape, I really just want a small, straight elegant nose. My family are not supportive of this surgery as they are scared that I will have my face ruined and end up looking like some sort of freak. My boyfriend says that I don't need it, but it's not like he would tell me anyway!
I will update this soon as I have my consultation this week, in the meantime I look forward to hearing from you!
Noses that I like!
My appointment with Dr Richardson is booked for the 18th of Feb. I have been getting together some photos of noses that I like to bring with me to the consultation. I want to show him some different noses and see if he thinks any of them will be possible to achieve with my current nose.
I am not expecting him to make my nose to look identical to any of these, these are just some noses that I like.
Today I had my first consultation! Dr Richardson explained that mine would be a closed rhinoplasty where he would remove the hump and slightly refine the tip a little. I asked him how many nosejobs he does a week, and he said usually its just one since most of his clients come for breast augmentation. He doesn't do photo simulations of nosejobs but has said that he has had experience in doing noses like mine, he also didn't have a gallery of previous patients noses to show me. He did however seem confident that my nose would turn out nicely. I will update again when I have my next consultation - I would like to see a few doctors before I decide who to have the surgery with!
Feeling really depressed and stressed that I won't be able to have the surgery.
Something that I should probably mention on here is that I have a low platelet count (Thrombocytopenia) which puts me at a risk of having this operation because my blood doesn't clot well. Basically this condition could affect the outcome of the operation by causing issues when it comes to how the nose heals, which has the potential to ruin the cosmetic result. The first plastic surgeon I went to see has referred me to a hematologist to get some blood work done that will determine whether it will be safe for me to have this operation. This is a condition that I have inherited and I am devastated that it stands between me having this operation and being beautiful.
I am really, really devastated. I am keeping my fingers crossed that my blood work will be satisfactory and that it will be safe for me to have this surgery...otherwise I don't know how I will be able to live with myself. I would really like to hear from anyone who has the same problem who had a rhinoplasty!
I have found the Dr who will perform the operation!
Today I had a consultation with Dr Andrew Broadhurst and I have decided that he is the one who will fix my nose! He will be doing an open rhinoplasty as he believes it will allow him to achieve the best result. I am extremely excited and will be setting the date soon as I get the go ahead from the hematologist. My surgery will take place early to mid April.
Although I had planned to have my operation in April, due to my issue with my platelets I've had to push back my surgery to July/August. The hematologist I'm seeing wants me to do a treatment in May where they give me an infusion of platelets and then monitor how my body reacts. Before my rhinoplasty I will need an infusion of platelets and first they need to test to make sure my body won't reject them. I'm not going to lie - this whole situation is giving me cold feet as it seems like a lot of work. However, I find big noses like mine so absolutely hideous and vile that I will not allow this to change my mind about the surgery.
Hope this isn't a mistake
Lately I've been looking at a lot of photos of me (all taken from the front of course) and I keep thinking - ITS NOT THAT BAD, I CAN LIVE WITH THAT - WHAT IF I AM MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE? Every time I see a thing on here where someones rhino didn't go well I stress out. My family are generally okay with me doing this (my dad and grandpa don't get it but they are men!) however my grandma is extremely supportive of this, in fact insistent that I get this done ASAP. She thinks I'm beautiful but my nose is holding me back from reaching my full potential. I am also studying to be a primary school teacher and the last thing I want is to have an ugly nose for the kids to take notice and make fun of when I'm teaching - because kids are pretty unabashed in their criticism!
3 months to go!
It's crazy how fast time is going! When I decided to have this operation in February I thought time was really going to drag but if I have my operation in early August then its not that long at all. Some days I look in the mirror and think its not that bad...but then when I'm sitting in the classroom and people can see me from the side...all I can think about is that they are thinking what a f*cked up nose I have! I feel happy with myself until I am in a situation like that or someone takes a photo of me from the side and my stomach turns like I'm looking at a murder scene! I'm not exaggerating when I say this, but seriously if I see a photo of myself taken from the side I get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and all of the air in my lungs running out. It makes me so so sick.
Whenever I start to get cold feet and have second thoughts about my surgery I just look at photos of myself people have taken where I am in profile and reassures me in an instant that I have made the right decision :)
Probably the worst thing anyone can say to someone considering a rhino is that their nose "adds character" - because the ugly witch from Wizard of Oz is not a character anyone would like to look like! Saying someones face has character is like a friendly way of saying "you're really ugly but I think you're a nice person :) :) " lol.
The thing that probably bothers me the MOST about this (and what has been one of the big reasons I have put this off for years) is how long it will take to recover. I have had to weigh up the idea of going out in public looking like a monster for a few months vs. being ugly forever. I know everyone's recovery rate is different and I'm just worried it will take a REALLY long time for me to look normal.
Whenever I get stressed about the operation I just take a picture of myself on webcam to reassure myself. I have to do this a lot!
I've been looking at noses a looooooooot lately to try get an idea of what I like and what might suit me...I am SO SCARED of getting a nose that doesn't suit the rest of my face! The reason I picked Dr Broadhurst is that he takes into consideration what suites the individual and in the end I am going to leave it up to him to decide for me as I trust him to know what will look best. All I want is something small - elegant - slightly concave - but not too much so that my nostrils look bad! I really like Kim Novak's nose - I think her nose is perfect from all angles.
The desired outcome...and weird nightmares...
I don't really like any of those plastic surgery morphs I've found online, but when I do this with my nose (haha I realize how stupid this looks btw go ahead and lol at me) it kind of shows how I want my nose to look - lifted and without the ugly bump. Right now I am hoping I can push my surgery to July...I am really irritated about the fact that I have to deal with the blood infusion nonsense and see how my first infusion of platelets goes BEFORE I can book the surgery. FML.
Not a single day goes by without me obsessing about my rhinoplasty, I spend several hours a day on here obsessing over it! I've also started to have weird nightmares about the operation. I had a nightmare the other night that my surgery went well but then I went home and stupidly had a shower and washed my face which made all of my stitches dissolve and then my columella was flapping all over the place...wtf.
Driving me insane!
I am not kidding when I say that I have not been able to concentrate anything else lately! This is ALL I can think about! I have been really struggling to concentrate on my school work this week because I just can't stop thinking about the operation. I keep obsessing over what the outcome will be like...what I will look like...will I look completely different? I just wish I could have the operation ASAP but its really not even possible until the end of the semester anyway. I just wish I could stop thinking about it, I try so hard not to think about it but I can't, I even dream about it every night. My Dr strikes me as a perfectionist and that is why I chose him, so I feel confident in the results. The annoying thing is that I keep having this same nightmare where I have the operation and my nose looks beautiful - but then after the operation I do something stupid like sleep lying down and roll on my face!
Anyway here is another photo my boyfriend took last weekend. Whenever I look at pictures of myself all I can see is how huge and ugly my nose is. I cannot wait for the day when I can look at a picture of myself without cringing. Lately I've just been struggling to find the motivation to do my makeup, get dressed and go out. I just want to hide away from the world until I get my operation, and then when I've recovered I want to pretend that this was all a bad dream. I know that the operation will be scary and the recovery process horrific, but PAIN IS BEAUTY.
A trying day...
Well today was the first part of my platelet infusion and it went really well! I had to be hooked up to an IV for 4 hours which was pretty unpleasant, and tomorrow is round two. After that I'll have a blood test and my hematologist will give me the all clear (I am confident its going to be an all clear because so far I have not had an adverse reaction to the infusion) so it should be all good.
Having the Intragram infusion meant that I had to sit in the same ward as people who were having chemo. It made me think that maybe I really am a total piece of sh*t because all around me are people going through cancer and I'm sitting there getting this treatment so I can have a nosejob.
Anyway I had to get the train home after the hospital since my partner had work, and I ended up sitting near this group of private school girls who were around 15 or so. The way I was sitting ended up being so that they could see me in profile, which prompted them to start talking about people with ugly noses and looking at me and exchanging looks and giggling. In any other situation I would have probably gone home, run a bath and got in the bath and slashed my wrists. However despite their comments I didn't let it upset me - because I'm finally getting a new nose! Instead I smugly sat there thinking to myself that in a few months I will have a new face and I will be beautiful and no one will be able to make comments like that ever again.
Well the second round of the platelet infusion has been hard as I started having some of the side effects. I had a fever and the worst chills I've ever had, the WORST migraine that even codeine did little to numb, I've pretty much had a migraine on and off for 24 hours. I called the hospital and they said it was a normal reaction to the treatment. I'm mainly mentioning this on here because I know I'm not the first person in the world who's had to have a platelet infusion before their rhinoplasty, so I want others who have the same problem to know what to expect. It's all part of the deal. At one point I even said I don't want my nose job anymore if it means going through this all over again right before the surgery. However this is just something I'm going to have to deal with because this surgery means everything.
Do I need a better chin?
Something I haven't mentioned on here before is that my doctor also suggested a chin implant. I would like to get some of your opinions regarding this because so far asking family members has not been helpful. I know I don't have a great jawline, I don't have much of a chin at all really...but I feel like its enough? What do you think though - would a chin implant balance my face better? I kind of don't like the idea of the extra $$$$$ its going to cost since I am already spending around $13,000 on this operation just because of the platelet infusions I have to have. I've never actually thought about chins or my chin before and now I'm scared that I look freaky or will look like a freak when I have a new nose. I want everything to be perfect...
Got the go ahead for the surgery from the hematologist!
The hematologist was satisfied with my blood work after the treatment - with the treatment I have normal functioning platelets. However the downside of this means I get to have 3 whole days of platelet infusion before my operation....and possibly another day after it as well. The funny thing is that as a result of that I don't even dread the actual rhinoplasty - its sitting there with an IV for 4 hours every day before it that I hate the thought of the most.
I am booking the operation tomorrow (hope I can get a date set for early to mid July) and I mentioned it to my dad. He started saying "It's not too late to change your mind" and that "who cares about beauty, inner beauty is what is important."
NO! I cannot stand it when people use the "inner" beauty line! I don't believe in "inner beauty".
My mother is fine with the operation and all she cares about is that I have a good surgeon, my grandparents are excited and happy for me, and so are my inlaws. I know its a lot to ask to have everyone in my family approve but I just hate having to explain myself, especially when I've said to my dad so many time over the years that I want this - so its clearly something that means A LOT to me.
Thinking of going to America to have Grigoryants do it instead...I don't know...ughhhh!
This morning I was going to book my procedure, but after a lot of thinking, reading you reviews on here and your helpful comments (all which I appreciate so much, you have no idea...) I have decided that maybe I should go to America and have Dr Grigoryants do the operation, even if it will be an incredible amount of work since I live in Australia and its a massive flight. I could always have my platelet infusion before I leave the country.
Just a little note to thank you for your input and support, I'll be back when I've had the operation :)
After a lot of thinking and soul searching, one thing I've realized is that looking at everyone's reviews and experiences with their rhinoplasty has kind of made me go a little crazy. Having read all of the mixed reviews on here regarding who is the best doctor and what to expect has actually left me feeling WAY more daunted about the whole thing, rather than relieved and excited. I don't like feeling uncertain or confused and this site (much as it has been helpful) has also caused me far more sleepless nights than I need.
So, I have now made my choice about who will do my operation. I have contacted the doctor I want about setting the date and will be waiting for their response so I know the date of my procedure. I will not be updating on here anymore until I have had my operation. I want to thank all of you who've commented on here, and those of you who've messaged me privately - you are all wonderful, amazing people and I know I wouldn't have it in me to go through this without your support and advice.
For the sake of my mental health, and so I can move on for a bit and stop obsessing about this (like I have been) I am going to stay away from this site for a while. I don't want to spend every day stressing and thinking about the operation and comparing everyone's doctors and experiences, I know that if I don't, I'll probably not be able to go through with the operation because I'll be WAY too stressed.
My operation is scheduled for August 7th, can't believe this is happening.
I cried a little after I made the booking - but in a happy way because I'm so happy this is happening.
63 days to go...
Lately I've been really depressed and I just can't shake the feeling and really need to vent. I keep looking at photos of me and wondering if I did something bad in a past life to be cursed like this. You know the phrase about getting "hit" with the ugly stick, well I didn't just got hit, I got BEATEN with it, mercilessly. I look at my face and see nice eyes, nice hair, nice cheeks, mouth and then I see that nose. That ugly misshapen despicable thing that poisons the rest of my face. I love photography and taking photos of happy memories and experiences but when I look back at the photos I am so unhappy with how I look. My partner and I have been together for seven years. On Saturday I am going for a wedding dress fitting - we are getting married June 2015. In the entire time we have been together - there are no photos of us together at all. No photos at family things - I do not allow family members to take my photo. It's like I didn't exist for all of those years because I wouldn't let anyone take my photo. I hate it so much and I cannot wait for all of this to be a bad nightmare and be able to attend special occasions and not hide from the camera. The other day my stepdad suggested that my mother cheated on my biological father and that explains why I ended up with such an unfortunate ugly nose - because NO ONE in my family has a nose like this - its not from my fathers side and its not from my mothers side. My family are White Russian and we all have Slavic features with small, STRAIGHT noses. It makes me feel hideous and deformed to look like I do. I look like my family members - I have all of the features they do - apart from my nose and it just makes me feel like such an abomination.
To console myself I look at my doctors photos of his past patients over and over again and remind myself that even the most difficult noses he did turned out great - that there is hope for me to look normal too.
55 days to go...
SO I've decided that I will say which doctor I've chosen (as some of you have messaged me about this) - the doctor I've chosen is Dr Broadhurst. I have got some great messages from those of you on here who have been his patients (I can't thank you enough because it honestly means the world to hear great things about the doctor I've chosen, especially considering there are so few of you on this forum who are Australian - let alone from Brisbane).
The days are creeping by so slowly...I went and tried on wedding dresses last weekend and felt so mortified and self conscious the whole time because of my nose. The way it takes up my whole face as you can see in this photo is NOT OKAY. I've decided to wait to try on dresses again after I have my operation and look good so I can actually enjoy the experience! There is no way I would be getting married if I wasn't getting this nosejob!
30 days to go
Just a month to go! All of this has been making me very emotional but in a happy way - its like I'm being given a second chance at life. I've decided to post some very unforgiving pictures here - you can see I have nostrils like a baboon and just how hideously witchy and hooked my nose is. My way of dealing with my fugly nose over the years has been to be very open about it - I shudder at the thought of people whispering about it behind my back and pitying me so I've always made sure people are aware that I realize how ugly it is by making jokes about it rather than have them point it out to me.
Final Pre-Op consultation - 21 days to go!
This morning I had my final appointment before my operation and paid for the surgery! I am so happy right now because I was so scared the day would never come. I showed the Dr some pictures of the type of noses I like to make sure that we are on the same page and he understands the type of aesthetic I'm going for. He was very confident and put me at ease so I feel really good about everything and cannot wait to get it over with! My next update will be after I've had the surgery!
This is VERY surreal! I remember when I discovered realself a few years ago and checked it from time to time, always dreaming that one day I would have my own profile on here - that finally I would get my act together and just go for it and have the damn rhinoplasty!
The only part that actually stressed me out was getting to the hospital because the hospital was in an unfamiliar part of town and it was peak hour - and to top it all off the GPS was being a piece of crap and made us take a long detour... So that had me more stressed out than anything because I was so terrified we'd be late and it would mess everything up. I had to get to the hospital an hour before the operation to have an infusion of platelets, fun times.
When it came down to going into the actual operation itself, I was surprisingly calm - and I am someone who has a panic attack about going to the dentist or anything medical. No tears or anything - I was still stressed and my teeth were chattering but no where near the level of panic I had anticipated! I guess because that's just HOW MUCH I wanted this operation!
I was running a bit late because of my platelet transfusion stuff so I only saw Dr Broadhurst very briefly right before I was being sedated. I did not get a chance to see Dr Broadhurst after the operation because after I woke up he was already in theater working on someone else, so I won't be seeing him till cast off day next week. The anesthetist came in later and told me that everything went very well though, which is all I wanted to hear! Like everyone on here always says, when you wake up your throat is super dry and you're really thirsty, which was certainly the case for me. Thankfully and *TOUCHWOOD* I have not had a reaction to the anesthetic so far - no puking or anything like that, and my nose dripping hasn't been too bad - just pinkish blood not the dark red stuff. Not being able to talk has been really hard because everyone is talking at me and I have had to give instructions to my partner on how to prepare food for me, how to give medication to our pets, that sort of stuff.
In all, having just had the operation today, I would say it was alright, nothing too scary and the staff were all lovely and looked after me. It wasn't as bad of a day as I was expecting it to be! Honestly the only bad thing was dealing with the traffic - it was about an hour drive each way and both times we were in the car just so happened to coincide with peak hour. Another thing is bumps in the road, and just those stupid speed bumps in carparks...OMG UGH. Worst thing ever, my partner drove super slow and careful but I was still aware of every pothole...Anyway here are some pics so you can see how super bruised I am - pretty serious bruising thanks to my low platelets but oh well. I will probably update again in a week when the cast is off! In the mean time thank you all so much for your lovely messages and comments - if it wasn't for this site I know I would never have had the courage to do this, so a special thank you to the creator of this site too :)
This is probably the saddest and worst I have felt in my life. I spent all night puking up the entire contents of my stomach - not sure what caused this - the concentration of painmeds in my stomach or the food. I've tried to be careful with food but its been hard. So far since my surgery I've had: grated apple, grated beetroot, allbran with water, juice and powerade. After a night full of puking though I am too scared to eat or drink anything or to take anymore pain meds. The thing that scares me the most is worrying that I messed up my nose puking all night, I am terrified. Sleeping has been so scary, I'm scared to sleep because I am worried that I will do something to mess up the nose. I've been sleeping sitting up in a recliner but there is still that fear that I will do something in my sleep to mess it up. It's all been very stressful and my main concern right now is making sure that the cast is okay. When I had the drip pad changed yesterday I saw a little bit of the tip of my nose and seeing how different it already looks really freaked me out. After having a massive fugly nose for so long seeing something that looks small and feminine is so surreal and crazy. I am doing my best not to stress though. The worst thing so far has definitely been the puking, up until that point recovery was actually going great. For now though I am completely terrified of taking any food or water, but hopefully later on I'll be able to deal with that and pop a valium to take the edge off. I still can't believe I have done something so drastic to change my appearance and am willing to put up with all of this shittiness to be pretty. I feel bad that my partner has to go through all of this, coming home from work late at night and then not getting any sleep only to wake up this morning and take the cat to the vets after a night spent looking after me while I covered everything in puke....I feel awful that I have subjected him to all of this all because of my own vanity!
Sorry if there is a lot of TMI here, just being honest and doing my best not to sugarcoat anything so that I can give a realistic expectation of whats to come if you decide to go through with this...
Day 3 - Feeling super anxious
This morning I had the drip pad removed because I haven't been bleeding anymore so I can finally start to see the shape. Panicking a lot that it looks so small. I am terrified of getting the cast off now.
As you can see my bruises have turned to green under my eyes, with my eyelids still being black and purple. Otherwise I am feeling okay - been drinking lots of ginger tea and am no longer nauseous. Just feeling so scared of what it will look like when the cast comes off...
3 more days until cast off....
It gets better everyday, the last two nights I've actually been able to sleep and I no longer feel nauseous and hardly spit up any blood clots. I am getting more and more used to the changed shape of my nose and will just continue to think positive. My partner has been so good in trying to keep me calm, telling me how good it will look and how happy I will be. He has been so good to me that I get emotional just thinking about all that he has done for me in the last few days. He's had so much that he's had to do and he hasn't complained once. My mother in law who is an ex RN has been staying with us and has been very good checking my nose and changing the dressing for me. I've posted a few pictures so you can see the progress of the bruising - nasty stuff! I've been icing on and off several times a day and drinking pineapple juice in an effort to make it less bad. I have been instructed to NOT take any arnica because of my blood condition, so I have to let the swelling take its natural course without any help. Feeling a bit weak from lack of real food though...I've stuck to a very bland diet - peas, mashed potato, bannana, soas (crackers) soaked in water, diced pears and peaches, sliced strawberries. My teeth still really hurt from the operation so I can't chew anything without pain, so I'll be eating mush for a while. I feel hungry all the time because I haven't had anything with real protein or dairy. On one hand its great because I have been trying to shake the nasty 5kgs I gained last Christmas all year, so hopefully this will help with that. I am really looking forward to be able to wash my face - which feels gross and itchy from the cast, and have a nice bath and wash my hair... I cannot wait for my sense of taste to return too! I am really dreading the pain from getting the cast off...I have these plastic tube things in my nostrils that look like they will be excruciating to remove.
2 days until the cast is off
Feeling good today, emotionally and physically! I finally had a bath today - my last bath was six days ago, the day before the operation, so I feel fantastic. I wasn't brave enough to wash my hair however and will save that for when I get the cast off. I've also moved on to eating more solid foods, which is exciting, but still no sense of taste at all. My father in law cooked me a stirfry last night and it felt SO GOOD to eat something that wasn't mush, even if I couldn't taste a thing. The bruising today is exactly the same as yesterday so I won't bother posting pictures. I woke up during the night crying out in pain from THE most excruciating pain in my neck and head from sleeping sitting up from the damn neck pillow and had to get my partner to massage it. He wakes up to check on me several times at night to see how I'm sleeping (to make sure I'm upright) and apparently he thinks I have started to breathe through my nose because last night when I was sleeping I was "snoring" and the tubes in my nose were making a whistling sound lol. Another thing I should probably mention, what's been the most annoying part of having the cast on and my nose packed up, is not being able to laugh! It's been hard being around my partner because he never stops saying stuff that makes me laugh, and most of the tv shows I like to watch are comedies - so I've found it hard to entertain myself because everything makes me laugh. Last night while watching tv I had to turn the tv off and take some deep breaths to stop myself from having a laughing fit and messing up the stuff inside my nose. Not fun! Other than that - its all good, still coughing up the odd blood clot but other than neck pain from not being able to lie down, I have not had any pain from my nose for a few days now.
Six days later...
Just a quick update on the bruising progress - slowly starting to clear up. I get the cast off tomorrow and on Friday I'm going to the Ekka (this big agricultural festival thing my city has) so I'm going to see what magic I can do with makeup to cover the bruises. Last night when I was in bed my big stupid 19lbs cat (he is a Maine Coon - so one of those massive dog sized cats) jumped on me and head butted me really hard in the face, right in the nose. I freaked out really bad because it hurt so much I cried, but I didn't bleed so really hoping all is okay. I am excited to get the cast off, but also really anxious....please let it be good.
I look like something out of avatar from the front, but profile looks great!
A very quick update - really love the profile! There is A LOT of swelling, especially right between the eyes and down my whole nose. The front doesn't look great right now and looks a bit uneven but I hope that in time the swelling will settle, I am not expecting too much from my nose right now. I'm just happy that it doesn't look fake or too small!
The whole experience - getting the packing out
So I thought I'd do a proper update of the whole experience for those on here who are planning on having surgery with Dr Broadhurst. When I updated earlier today I was dying to have a shower and wash my hair, face and go out for sushi so I was in a real rush. These photos were taken about half an hour after the cast came off and my nose has since swelled heaps and looks even bigger.
When I arrived at Dr Broadhurst's office his nurse Jade (who is extremely lovely) took off my cast and pulled out the packing. This is the part I dreaded the most of all but she was very, very good and it was almost painless and over in a second. It's an unpleasant sensation as you can imagine, but definitely nowhere near as painful as I was expecting. Mostly its just a weird sensation, rather than painful. I would say getting a needle is way more painful than having the packing taken out. After that there was a lot of mucus, pretty gross, but no bleeding or anything like that. Jade then made me another cast for my nose that I have been told to wear at home and while I'm asleep, for the next five weeks until my follow up. I was given a mirror and looked at my nose and it was a pretty intense feeling as you can imagine - my huge fugly ass witch nose had become transformed into an elegant, small nose just as I had hoped for! I could not get over how nice my profile was but was nervous because from front on the swelling was pretty bad, especially in the area right between the eyes, and my tip too.
Then Dr Broadhurst came in and had a good look at everything and was very happy with how everything looked. Dr Broadhurst is a really kind guy and one of those people that instantly makes you feel happy and at ease, he is always smiling has a very calming presence and is so understanding - more than anything I could have hoped for in a surgeon. He of course explained that this is just the very beginning and that it's going to take time and that I need to go easy on myself, be kind to myself and stay positive - and not obsess over the swelling too much. I was surprised to see a few little lumps on the side of my nose (which you can see if you look closely) which he explained was scar tissue from where the incisions were made. He answered all of my concerns and I'm afraid that I may have appeared ungrateful which I truly was not, I was just in such a crazy state of shock my mind was all over the place! I am an extremely anxious and neurotic person so having a Dr that is so nice and caring makes all of this much easier to deal with, and his staff are all just as lovely and compassionate so it makes the whole thing a lot less stressful.
Since I've got home I've been in a state of bliss - the worst part of the journey is over, now its time to be patient - something I really suck at. My partner said my swelling and bruises look identical to the time when a few years ago my brother was in a bad bike accident, so I look pretty rough! He is ecstatic about my new nose and I don't think I could handle all of it if it wasn't for his positive attitude and encouragement that it will all be okay. It's been wonderful to be able to laugh again, I'm trying not to laugh too much because that will make the swelling worse, but I'm just happy we don't have to be so serious anymore because before it took a lot of work to keep me from laughing and risk messing up the stitches. Oh, and being able to smell things again is amazing. I feel just like the main character in Patrick Süskind's book - Perfume, going around smelling everything.
This will be my last update until I look like a human being again, so it may be a while. I am going to really miss doing my hair, makeup and wearing nice clothes again but I hope one day soon I will be able to resume doing the things I love and feel like a normal person again.
Uneven swelling - 11 days post op
So - I decided to update because I've been obsessing over everyone else's post op swelling and comparing mine (to try see what's normal) and figured that I should document my own in case others want to compare, and because I'm a big ball of stress. On one side, the side where the incisions were made the swelling is pretty bad so it looks like a bump, I've tried to take a photo of it here. Obviously I understand that this is the area all of the hump work was done so its going to be swollen but naturally I can't help having paranoid thoughts that I've done something to mess it up - like not wearing my cast properly. I have to wear this cast as much as I can for the next 5 weeks so I've been doing my best to wear it through the day, but it's caused me A LOT of anxiety because I keep obsessively checking it to make sure its sitting right because I'm scared if its not on properly it will make my nose heal wrong. You get the idea! SOOO STRESSFUL! From front on I look like Rocky Dennis, but the profile is fabulous and I'm very happy.
In 2 weeks I have to be at work and because I work in retail its absolutely necessary that I look good, so I am panicking that the swelling won't look presentable in time... I'm doing my best to do EVERYTHING I can to help the swelling - eating really healthy and all organic, drinking freshly squeezed pineapple juice, green tea, coconut water, lots of water and sleeping in the recliner. I've also strictly avoided anything that has salt.
The only thing I've messed up is that I've been having hot baths...because I love hot baths and its winter where I am...but I've read now that hot baths are bad post op.
I would really love to hear from any of you who have tips on how to make the swelling go down quicker and what I can do, eat, and what to avoid doing - I've done my best to research these things but I always feel like learning from the experience of others helps more than any information on a medical website! It is really crucial that I look presentable enough to go to work in 2 weeks otherwise I will not have a job.
A question I forgot to ask the nurse because I was too overwhelmed when I had my cast off..
How long after open rhinoplasty is it safe to use a face mask? I have been too scared to wash around my nose with anything other than water because I have areas on the side of my nose where the incisions were made that are still healing. Unfortunately from having the cast on my face I've broken out a bit and have A LOT of blackheads all over my nose, and pimples around my mouth and chin, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I've been using a tea tree oil based pimple cream (from the Body Shop so its safe and natural without harsh chemicals) on spots that are on other parts of my face, but I really want to be able to put a mud mask on my whole face, especially my nose. Does anyone here have experience with this - is it still too early and should be left alone for now, and if so, at what point will it be safe to have a face mask on?
17 days post op (10 days after cast came off)
Today was the first time I put on makeup and got dressed up since my operation. Lots of swelling everywhere and in my opinion there is not much of a difference in the swelling since I last updated. The area between my eyes annoys me the most right now because it makes me look like an alien since the swelling in the radix makes my eyes look weird like they're too far apart. Still uneven swelling in the bridge and lots of swelling in the tip which is fair enough - I am not stressed at this point because the amount of work that was done on my nose is pretty crazy. It actually looks a lot better than these photos make it seem since they are crappy phone pics, but I am too lazy to get the DSLR camera to take proper photos. At the end of my journey I will ask my doctor for the progress pictures taken on his camera (he takes photos at every check up) since those will give a better documentation of the healing process.
I finally exfoliated my face and did a mud mask because I got really desperate. I have gross tiny white heads on the middle of my nose and it's driving me crazy because I am OCD about pimples, so I am being very vigorous with my skincare regime. The skin on my nose is also shedding which is pretty yuck but normal. Washing my face is really stressful because its hard not to bump my nose so I get in the shower just to wash it. Also, the area under my nose is swollen (where my lip had to be cut back from my nose) so I kind of don't have an upper lip right now and my top lip does not move much when I talk at this point.
Today was a special occasion in our family and we went out to a nice restaurant and I did something I would never ever do - I sat where a lot of people could see me in profile! The restaurant had this glass wall where you could watch the chefs at work and I sat at the end of the table where everyone could see me from the side - something I NEVER EVER would have done before. Going to restaurants was something I used to always dread and I would always be extremely careful about negotiating seating so that no one could see me from the side. It was so liberating to not have to worry and I felt extremely confident and happy because I have such a cute little nose now! My mother in law kept taking photos of me and gushing about how amazing my nose looked and all of my partners extended family agreed that it looked stunning and assured me that even from the front the swelling was hardly noticeable. Everyone in his family has been so kind and positive, but I don't expect this from my family members who are not the kindest people and always seize the opportunity to rip me to shreds like vultures.
Something else I want to mention is that my new nose has made me want to be more adventurous with makeup and fashion. This week I bought some clothes very different my my usual style (normally I wear 1940s - 50s clothes) but I decided to buy some cute 60s mod style dresses and experiment with a new look. I want to learn how to do winged eyeliner and mod style eye makeup like Twiggy and Edie Sedgwick. I have always loved that look but set myself a rule to NEVER draw attention to my face with dramatic eye makeup because it would draw attention to that vile witch nose - but now that I have a cute little button nose I am ready to experiment with wearing eye makeup and different types of clothing. I am feeling positive and looking to the future - I can't wait to get to my 3 month mark because I just know my nose will be fabulous!
12 days after cast came off
Just a few more photos - I had a meeting with my boss this morning and got dressed up and did my hair like I normally would. I feel like the heavy dark circles under my eyes make it look like I've been fighting typhoid fever the last few weeks - I look so unwell! I start working at the end of next week so here's hoping there is some more improvement in the swelling between now and then. Luckily my boss is really nice and extremely understanding that I'm not going to look 100% because she has a family member who's had rhinoplasty and she knows that it's going to take time for me to look normal. I'm going to buy something nice to wear for my first day and get my hair done so that hopefully it takes away from my swelling.
1 month post Op!
It's hard to believe a month has passed! I went back to work this week so its been good not to sit at home and obsess over the uneven swelling on my bridge...I hope it is swelling. What do you think? I have an appointment with Dr Broadhurst in two weeks so I look forward to hearing his opinion on my progress! Aside from the unevenness on the bridge which I assume is swelling, I am pretty damn ecstatic about my new nose - it's exactly what I wanted! I saw both of my parents for the first time since before the operation last weekend and they weren't very positive. Ugh. Both of them said exactly the same thing "so long as you're happy with it" - which isn't the most affirming thing or what I wanted to hear but both of them are extremely negative people and have never been known to give me any praise...ever. Anyway I AM happy and I know it will look even better in months to come. God knows its better than the horrid witch nose. I am still sleeping with a protective cast thing on my face - and it fits much better now that the swelling has gone down so its all good. Something I find frustrating is how swollen my face is when I first wake up in the morning - it takes a few hours to settle after I wake up so the first few hours of work at the morning I don't look too great, but generally later on in the day it looks presentable. Thankfully my boss is understanding and just keeps telling me to keep up the pineapple juice :)
6 weeks post op!
Yesterday I had my 6 weeks post op appointment with Dr Broadhurst so I thought it was time for an update! My nose just keeps getting better and better -still swelling on the sides of the bridge but Dr Broadhurst explained that will all go down in time. I am in awe of what a small, cute little nose I have now. I no longer shudder when I look in the mirror or panic when I know someone can see me in profile. It's strange not to have to worry anymore! This carefree existence is so new to me! The operation has really changed my life and I only wish I'd done it sooner - but I'm thankful that I didn't waste anymore time and had it done when I did. There hasn't been any pain or any problems, however it's spring now and the past two weeks I've had the worst hay fever with lots of sneezing and a runny nose - so not fun, but I've managed to avoid blowing my nose and sneezing through my nose so far. That's all for now! Please excuse my weird facial expressions in these photos - I had never taken selfies in the past so I am not good at this stuff!
A picture of the perfect profile Dr Broadhurst has given me :)
Maybe she's born with it maybe it's Dr Broadhurst!
As promised, here are some photos of my nose taken with the DSLR camera! These were taken this morning and the makeup I'm wearing is eye, shadow, mascara, lipstick and blush - so no concealer/powder to hide bruising or incision scars. Obviously the lighting and contrast has been edited in the photos to sharpen them, but other than that it is wonderful to not have to worry about having my photo taken anymore! In fact I love photos of my profile - I never thought I'd see the day! I feel SO happy and confident all the time now, like a whole new person! I think my mother is really jealous, she has not been able to say a single nice thing about my nose, but my dad thinks its great and that it really brings out my eyes. My partner is constantly looking and saying how amazing I look - and for the FIRST time ever I believe him! I actually ask people to take photos of us together and not long ago I bought my wedding dress! Anyway I will stop gushing now, all I can say is that if you have the right doctor rhinoplasty can be an amazing, life changing experience. What I really like about my nose is that I still look like me - but an improved version of myself. I had so many fears about what my nose could turn out like but never in my dreams did I imagine it would be this good or that it would make me so happy. I wish all of you who are about to embark on your journey here all the best, I will update you when I reach my 6 month mark!
Hey all, just thought to post some more close up pictures on here because I wasn't satisfied with the last ones. These photos were taken last weekend (Nov 9th) around 13 or so weeks after my operation. The main reason I'm updating is to share one thing I have learned, which isn't really a surprise, but crying makes swelling really bad. So those of you on here who want to heal ASAP try to hold back a bit if you find yourself feeling emotional because it will slow down the progress. The whole reason I went ahead with the surgery and decided to not pussy out about it is because of my grandma. She supported me throughout the whole process and reassured me everything would be good, that it will be perfect and that I would be very happy to have done it. If it hadn't been for her support I know I wouldn't have had the operation, but she kept telling me that life was too short and that I must do it for myself. When I got my cast off and was freaking out about how my face looked she calmed me down and promised me it would be amazing. She died a few days ago, a week after being diagnosed with very terminal cancer. It all happened very suddenly and I am devastated. Crying after rhinoplasty is pretty unpleasant, I've found myself coughing up a lot of blood clots and I am doing my best to keep my head elevated so that I don't get a nosebleed. I haven't been blowing my nose or anything because I'm a bit worried about what it would do. Afterwards my nose does hurt a bit and throbs - so to anyone reading this if you feel the need to cry, just keep in mind that it will not do your nose any favors. I am looking pretty swollen again now but it will pass. Those of you who have just had your op and are on an emotional roller coaster (I know I was) take it easy and remember that crying only makes it worse.
4 months post
Updating...for no reason other than to say that I LOVE my new nose - for like the millionth time now.
I know I've said this so many times now, but I cannot stress enough about how much this has changed my life. It is LIBERATING to not have to stress about it when I'm out, I finally feel good about myself. It's funny because sometimes I will be in the car or watching tv with my partner and out of nowhere he will say "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAD A NOSE JOB!" He still can't believe it, and neither can I, it still feels surreal. My family members no longer bring it up - it's become normal now, and I'm glad because I was pretty done hearing about it!