27yo W/ 10year Old Daughter- Ready to Be Back to & Love my Natural Self. - Boulder, CO

After my daughter I was unhappy with my deflated ...

After my daughter I was unhappy with my deflated saggy breasts and chose to get saline implants when she was 6. I had very seriously contemplated a lift then but my PS talked me into the implants and I was young and naive. I then lost almost 40lbs and wasn't happy with the appearance of the implants, so back I went to the same PS and contemplated a lift yet again but he assured me a silicone with a wider base would do the trick... I hated them right away. With the saline I actually enjoyed the shape of my breasts but once I lost the weight the feel was very un natural and the implants appeared awkward and bulbous so I was open to the idea when he described the silicone feeling soft and natural.

I now know that I should have gone with my original instinct and just had a lift then.

When I lay down the heavy implant slide to the sides of my ribs.. I joke about them being "rib boobs" but it really looks strange and makes me feel uncomfortable... also they have "bottomed out" and now that I have put back on a healthy 10 lbs of muscle and flesh they are enormous... so much bigger than the saline ones- and the doctor had actually assured me of the opposite. I own a gym and exercise is my lifestyle so having enormous "overtly sexual" (as one woman so eloquently put it) breasts makes it hard to not only do the activities but to not feel uncomfortable around my predominantly male peers. THEY don't make me uncomfortable but rather when we have close contact (which happens every time I am on the mat in this sport) I feel as if my breasts get in the way- literally and mentally for me.

My step daughter is 13 and my daughter is 10 and it gives me a different perspective on beauty to watch them begin to blossom into women themselves...I wish I would have gone with my instinct 4 years ago and done what I felt in my gut to do... now my daughters are aware of this change taking place and I have to use this as an example of what not to do. It is so important to convey a healthy body image of yourself when you have children who look up to and emulate you... and now I feel like they look at me and see a wishy washy woman who is unsatisfied again so I am going threw a 3rd surgery in hopes to finally get what I want, when in reality I was young and didn't know how to love myself the way I do now... I didn't know how to heed my inner voice and reject these foreign objects I never wanted in the first place. Scars are a part of life.... and I recognize that they are unavoidable.. but what I cannot live with anymore is these man made objects in my chest inhibiting so much of what I love to do. I wish I would have had them removed sooner.... so that my children would be young enough to not notice the difference, but this is where I am at and I am exited to be on the right path.

I have the explant scheduled for August 26th and then the lift 6 weeks later. I will be posting pictures of my progress! I have a DDD (E when I am on my dot) and am hoping to at least have enough tissue for a perky B! I am 5'4 and weigh 130 and I feel that the big breasts make me look "curvy" but what I am going for is healthy, athletic and free...because that is truly who I am!

Thank you to all of the strong women here who have inspired me to listen to my inner voice w/o hesitation...

Weight discrepancy & Less than two weeks!

I had asked a question in the forum and posted my weight loss was 25lbs and thats accurate. In this post it says 40lbs.

Anywhoo… getting so excited. I had a dream this morning that I had it done and woke up so happy and trying to tell my husband about it but then realized it wasn't real!

When I first started talking about an explant and lift (only a month or so after I got the silicone BA) he was telling me that he liked me curvy and that I should be happy with me and that he loved me… I totally get him not wanting me to go through anymore surgery but now that I've been talking about how I am so inspired by this website, and how this is what I have wanted all along he is being super supportive which makes me feel wonderful.

I the ladies at Dr. Swails front desk have been answering all of my questions (I've called with a lot of them- especially since hearing stories on here!). They even told me about a scar cream that works very well that insurance will cover. So when I go in for my explant I am going to give them a copy of my insurance card and have it sent to me!

I have also been researching the derma roller for scarring, silicone sheets and other ways to decrease scarring… I am being realistic in the fact that I will have scars but want to do everything in my power to avoid keloid scarring, splitting or anything of the like!

I am laid up in bed at the moment because I had my 3rd platelet rich plasma injection into my cervical spine from a car accident I was in last year… this has definitely been a year of repair. I will be done with my last cervical injection, my braces and have my lift completed and be a couple months post op at the end of this year.. My hubby also had to have some oral surgery and will be all done going into 2015 as well! Very grateful for the chance to rest and come back stronger than before!

I think that these next 12 days couldn't go by fast enough. I am going to be sure to make a cold pressed juice every day and massage to promote circulation! I just cannot wait for my small perky boobies!

Nervous

8 days away. Found my before BA pictures and realized just how little breast tissue I have! Plus they will probably be removing the capsule so after it heals and I go for the lift I am hoping that I have something.! Fat grafting is always an option but it is just another step to this process. I know I keep saying this but I wish that I would have just gone with the lift in the very first place.

Had my pre op!

Soo had my pre op and the dr said I should have AT LEAST a B! Thats great to hear! One of his assistants made a copy of my insurance card and ordered the scar cream so that was nice. I got my Amazon packages with silicone scar sheets & the derma roller ... I am happy about that. I have everything all squared away besides meal prep but I will take care of that Sunday! I did yoga today and my breasts are ENORMOUS- cannot wait to have the old proportional me back :)

Restless

It's the night before and I'm feeling kind of restless- got food made and the house ready. I am thinking positive thoughts- being able to wear a bra with a wire that doesn't put so much weight on my rib cage & stomach- how this will help getting dressed with not having to layer and cover.... I can just wear a tshirt and not be busting out. I feel like this is the right choice. I want to be natural and not have anything foreign in my body- participate in the sport I love w/o the task of strapping them to my chest... Relief for my neck.. Maybe even easier cycling through PT.

I keep telling myself that no matter what this is a good thing because I am learning to love myself as I am and not trying to achieve a state of "arrival" as I am always in a process of "becoming"... And I need to allow myself to be.. Love myself without contingencies. There are lots of possibilites but if I prepare I have nothing to fear- I educated myself on the choices and have had these feelings for over a year and half and it's ok to embrace this... I'm just not the same person I was- and it's all part of evolution, always be the best we can be- spiritually.

I feel like I have my head on straight so in that sense I feel ready. "What-ifs" float around but "what-ifs" are of no consequence until they are present moment.

I love me regardless.

I'll post more soon!!

Here and being prepped

Last pre- explant pic!

They're out!!

My surgey appointment check in time was 10:30 but they didn't get me back into the OR which was frustrating. The staff was soo sweet but the OR nurse seemed flustered & rushed which didn't make me feel at ease but they had given me Valium at 11 so I didn't protest rather inquired a bunch...

Anywho, I never knew that I was going to be put under- no count down or "good night" so when I awoke in recovery I was like, "When are you going to get started??" And she told me they were already done!

They looked just as I had imagined they would, after to BA and 25lb weight loss they look very "sad" but I couldn't feel happier.

My husband has been taking wonderful care of me and I slept for almost 5 hours... When we put the ice packs in I had him snap a picture. I am so elated that they are out! And feeling my natural breast tissue is so different than feeling huge bulbous implants... They are small and soft :)

The lift will be great- then I will have the boobies I've always wanted!

Update

Sorry I haven't posted since directly after the operation. I developed contact dermatitis the second day from the steri-strips and have been uber uncomfortable. The day of help was great and now household activities are going on "as normal" with me being the leader and I just don't have it in me to lead like usual. I am dying to be grounded with some exercise but that is off limits so I feel irritable and not very comfortable. This really makes me question if I want the lift if healing from such a "simple" procedure started like this. Of course the supposed aesthetic outcome of the lift is what I desire but will it really end up that way.

Thanks again Jasjet for the sweet message- Hope you are comfortable and healing quickly ((hugs))

Fluffed up nicely

I'll have to get another picture on here of how they look (aside from the contact dermatitis) now that they have had some time to "fluff" .... surprising to me but wayyyy fluffier than my first pic after explant.
Boulder Plastic Surgeon

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