21 Year Old, 525CC, and Now Flat Chested - Bluffton, SC

I thought about implants since I was 7. I use to...

I thought about implants since I was 7. I use to put play-doh on my barbies and stuff my bra with tube socks. I promised my mom I wouldn't get implants till I was 21, I went to my PS on April 10, 2013, and now a year later, after a BA, and capsulectomy, I'm getting my implants removed tomorrow.
I had a capsulectomy on March 25, 2014. My PS said I had grade IV CC, and doing the revision would make it go away, so of course I took off work, went in for surgery, and felt so much better after the scar tissue was gone. A week after my revision, I notice my left breast was red, not just a little red, but like a tomato. And hard. So hard that I would touch it and be in tears. So after dealing with this for 4 days, I went and saw my physician, he started me on an antibiotic, Septra. Four days after starting the antibiotic, my incision started leaking. I went to see my doctor ASAP, and he drained it for about an hour, getting 75cc of fluid. It drained for about 4 days before I had a fever. I went to the ER. They scheduled me an appointment to see a general surgery doctor. I saw him yesterday on the 14th of April, and I go in for a pre-op today, and removal tomorrow. My implant has been exposed for almost a week. I called my plastic surgeon panicked, scared, sad, depressed, but he wasn't there! I talked to his partner, and his suggestion was to take the infected implant out, and leave the R implant!
(I'm in the military, my plastic surgeon is in South Carolina, and I'm in Jacksonville, fl.)
I'm devastated. I loved having my 36DD's. I bought new clothes, bathing suits, everyone said how amazing I looked, I felt amazing, and now I'm going to have nothing again.
Not only is this experience ruining my mentality, but I got a BA thinking "there's no way it'll be me to get an infection." I did everything right, listened to the timeline for working out, I don't drink or smoke, I took my antibiotics.
I've missed so much work because of this. I'm embarrassed and depressed. I don't know what to do. I feel like I would rather have an infection forever and keep my boobs, then be healthy with my implants out.

Implants removed

I got my implants taken out today. I just got home from the hospital. I'm so depressed and down. I've never hated myself more. Or been more depressed. I don't know if I can do this.

3:00 am, can't sleep

It's my second night post removal of my implants. I've never been more uncomfortable or disappointed. I want to wake up and have this all be a dream, and I know it's not. I'm so scared to see what my breasts look like. I'm ashamed. I haven't told any of my friends, and everyone at work wants to know why I'm not on my ship for another few weeks. I don't know what to say when I do have to go back. I left with nice perfect boobies, and came back looking disgusting...I'm sad. Really really sad.

Third day post op

I probably forgot to mention that I'm a corpsman in the Navy. I take care of people, all day long. So to have everyone else taking care of me, is different...and annoying. I can take my bandages off today and shower. I'm not sure if I'm ready...I'll let you know how it goes.

Still can't sleep...

Today was the worst day by far. I sat on the edge of the bathtub as my mom and sister tried to get off all the tape on my body, because my doc gave me the go ahead to wash up in the tub. After sitting there for 45 minutes, trying to pick off the tape without ripping all my skin off, the bandages were off. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. And that's just in front of my mom and sister. I look like a circus freak. I'm disgusting. I'm so grossed out by my breasts. I can't help but to cry. All the time. On top of that, my brother came up to jacksonville from miami..my family is being wonderful, I'm just so depressed...
I would post a picture of my breasts, because I took one, but I'm not ready. It's absolutely horrific. Does anyone know if my muscles will relax? My right breast is still folding over, I'm not sure if it's because I'm covered in sticky tape, or because my sutures are sticking to my skin, I don't know what's going on, but I'm freaking out. I need some help. And a friend....

I miss these

I woke up frustrated. I feel like I would have rather died from an infection with my implants, then have to take them out. What is wrong with me?! I miss them. How can implants have such an effect on me? My right breast is still dented. Bad. Really bad. I'm too embarrassed to post a picture of it.

Happy Easter everyone. Eat lots of candy for me, because my stomach is still acting crazy.

Drains removed

I got my drains removed yesterday!!! Thank god! (Thank you for not telling me how f'ing painful it was, because it was!!!!!)
My doctor is really concerned about the fold in my right breast. He got a second opinion, and they both think I will need reconstructive surgery, but it will have to wait till after deployment. Pretty crummy.

Two months later

So, it's been two months later. I still hate my body, and my scars are more horrific then I could imagine. My skin has tightened up a little bit, but I still have a fold so anytime I try to wear a normal bra, I have to keep my cleavage covered, because it looks fucking weird. I'm going to post a picture of post surgery, please don't be mean.
I just got back from a small deployment. After being cleared to work out again, it's been nice to run again. Chest exercises are a struggle. I'm just trying to get back to where I was.
I hate my nipples. They're huge. I can't wait to find another surgeon after my next deployment so I can feel better. It's going to be a long year.
Hilton Head Island Plastic Surgeon

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