Breast Implant Removal: Stories

I haven't been feeling right since my BA operation 10 days ago (not just physically sick). I thought it might be the drugs. In the booklet I have been given it say's patients can become depressed after surgery etc. However I am feeling like I have made the worse decision of my life and feeling very stupid for it. I didnt know I would freak out by having these objects in me. All I have been doing since the op is crying, looking up explant, on the internet and seeing if any other women have felt like me. Anyone?

I have always hated my lack of chest or so I thought, and thought about implants for years. People around me seem to be having things done left right and centre. I have always had comments from men and women about my small chest. I had the BA as thought it was something I really wanted and had wanted for a long time.

I had discussed a small augmentation with my surgeon as I am a petite, and athletic. I just wanted to fill a bra not necessarily big boobs. I was given one of the sizes that was discussed, but on my frame they seem HUGE. Honestly even in the compression bra they are massive on me. I asked for a natural look, I wanted suttle. On an average size woman I think they may have looked ok in size but on me, there huge!

I feel awful, tearful, ashamed, akward. I did not expect to feel this way. I thought I would be bouncing off the walls with happiness as I would finally be able to fill out clothes. Instead I feel in mourning over my old body which there was nothing wrong with, and utter disgust that I have put these things inside me. I can't even stand my arm brushing past the side of my boob at the moment as they feel hard and horrible. All I want to do is hide them.

All I can think about at the moment is getting them out of me. Has anyone felt like this? Have you had a quick explant? How long will it be before the skin is over stretched? I feel I am a strong person and am shocked i feel this way, and cant believe what a massive expensive and stupid mistake I have made. I really regret the operation. Help, any advice welcome??????

Following a visit to my GP and the cosmetic surgery clinic, I have been told I can have an explant. I feel so relieved, I am emtionally exhausted. I have to wait 3 months from my BA date apparently as I cant have another GA before then which is frustrating, but the fact know I will be able to get them out has made me feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. God knows how I will hide these things for a couple of months. It seems a lifetime away. I will probably only just of got my fitness back to a half decent level before I have these things out again. My poor body. Ill be counting the days.........

Feeling really low today. I feel fat and ugly. I still am not allowed to exercise as I am still apparently swollen from the operation. Do I really care, no! I am having the things taken out anyway!. I'm starting to worry about how unfit I will be after the removal and recovery after that, it will be summer by then and ill be hiding myself away so people cant see what I have done to myself. So wish I could turn back the clock, wish I handn't had the BA so badly.

Well still not feeling any further forward. I aked the clinic if I could start exercising a few days before my official 6 week post op date. they said no, and that I should not otherwise I may compromise my aftercare agreement. Great! Will a few days make a difference! Ill wait till Tuesday then and keep driving myself mad in the mean time. Crap phat ugly boobs and getting flabby by the day, great. I still haven't been given a date for the explant, I wont be able to relax a little until I know its booked. It worries me the surgery are hoping I may get used to them or change my mind. They said the surgeon hasnt given his availability yet. I wont I just want them out. I cant get on with my life until there out. Ill chase again next week, and hopefully get a date for the explant op. God I wish I was rich, I would get them out tmrw if I could. Although Ive not been tearful today I can tell im really uptight and down, ive snapped at people at work. People will start thinking Im a loon. well I must have been to do this to myself. Arrrrh! Ill slap myself in a minute to stop feeling sorry for myself.

First public work out since my dreaded BA. I did a spinning class, it felt so good to exercise again. I couldnt totally let go as I kept looking around the class to see i people were looking at me and notice my discusting mounds of fakeness on my chest. There way more difficult to disguise in gym gear. I am friends with the instructor, have a feeling he noticed. Feeling stressed again because of it. Ill look at the weekend for some gym tops that might disguise them better, great more money down the plughole! Oh I hope the clinic give me my date for explant soon. I cant go on like this constant battle.

I have a good day then get knocked down again. Im still waiting for the surgery to confirm my explant date. Apparently I have to go and visit the surgeon again aswell. How much more stress!!! Im also worried I wont get time off work for the op as a collegue has now resigned..starting to think someone has got it in for me! Arrrh! I really would get these things out myself if I could. I just want to be free from them and get on with my life.

I've been wanting to update my review for a few days and haven't been able to face it. I have felt a bit of relief when I have posted before so here goes sorry if it looks like I have puked my emotions up on the page, i'm feeling in a bit of a pickle to say the least
..... I've been waiting for a few weeks to get my explant date through from the surgeon, finally they phoned me up at work on thursday and offered me 3 dates 24th or 25th of April or 7th May. I was at work and have nowhere private to take calls so could not speak to the co-ordinator on the phone I just jotted the dates down and told her I would find out what time I could take off from work. This is difficult at the moment as my colleague is now leaving and working her notice period, added stress for me, and not a happy boss. I have just told him I have an personal issue and need some time off towards the end of April and he has excepted this. I do not know if he or others at work have noticed my implants. I think he may have done.
Anyway, I felt a wave of emotions (when I got the dates), part of me was relieved to finally have the dates, part of me feels/felt panicked as the dates aren't that far away, part of me still cant believe I have done this to myself and i am going to put myself through hell again so soon, I'm a complete nut, can I face it. Ive been starting to loose it at work over silly things, god I need to chill out.
My BA was on January 29th, i've been distressed ever since, ive not had one day where I have been able to embrace my implants/fakies. I thought I would love not having to wear padded bras and balancing my shape. They have got smaller thank god, I must have had a lot of swelling, but I just don't seem to like them, I dont hink I ever will. I don't like them inside me, I don't think they will ever look or feel natural and I don't think I will ever forget they are there. I don't want to think about my implants all the time, I am very athletic and active, I want to think about fitness and health not b**bs. Why couldnt except my shape the way it was? Will I finally except my shape without the bl**dy things? I have hid them ever since having them done, all the time hoping i might get used to them or feel differently. I know a lot of women that have had BAs and other surgery at my gym, a lot of them seem to have huge fake breasts, my 275s seem nothing in comparison, I just keep wondering why i haven't been able to take this in my stride and get used to them and embrace them like other women, why? Why don't I like them??? Why haven't i wanted to show them off. Ifs not fair I don't want to feel this way but I do. Its not fair.
I am sure a few people have noticed as I have had the odd weird comment. I also expect others think or would think my body is more in proportion now, I think it is, but when I look at these things when i am naked I think ewww gross, when I raise my arms I feel like I look like I have bolt ons. They have got softer but are just not like nice natural breasts.
I only told one person from my gym and my dad about my BA, both are aware i'm not happy, I havent really had anyone to talk to, I just play mind games about my boobs with myself everyday, its exhausting. Oh why cant I be happy it would be so much easier.
I went to the hospital for the BA by myself when I had the operation. I hadnt even been in a hospital before. I think I was very naive. I did not enjoy or have a good experience at the hospital not eating or drinking for 12 hours and waiting for 7 hours for my operation once I arrived at the hospital, was just scratching the surface. I expected the staff to be caring and spend time with me, but like I say I was naive, its elective surgery, the staff aren't going to be like that, idiots like me choose to do this to them selves. I was scared, and did not recover well after the operation, being sick loads before I was given an injection to stop throwing up. After I got home a few days later i continued to be very sick. I am petrified and distraught that I have got to do this to myself again. I can only hope that as I have done it once before I know what to expect, so it wont be as traumatising.
I have been getting my fitness levels up over the last couple of weeks, I suspect i will have only just got my fitness back to high level just as I have my next operation. This sucks. I have know idea how long I will need to recover the second time around (after explant). I am due to have a meeting with the surgeon sometime in early April (they have changed the date 3 times now).
My body is going to be in its worse state ever after the explant. Im so worried and distraught. All this to try and get back to my natural but small breasts, which will now probably be saggy aswell as scarred. God it would be so much easier if I liked these bl**dy things! Why cant I like them like most women. The other option waiting to see if I get used to them, or a lifetime of worry with them inside me, worrying about CC or rupture doesn't appeal, further surgeries to keep them looking right, no thanks. Why oh why did I not fully think of this before I had them, although I guess I wasn't banking on feeling like this. I am emotionally worn out, I am starting to wonder if I am a total fruitcake, most of this year has been wasted on a stupid decision to get bigger boobs, what a waste.

Now counting the days till my explant op : ) Im 100 % sure I am doing the right thing, and oddly I guess (given the circumstances) am excited to get it over with. Im no longer going to play mind games with myself. My friend has said something to me today which summed up exactly what I have been battling with, evrything is clear now..
I definetly want them removed but the easy option would have been to keep them but then that is not solving the problem. Its best to just grin and bear it and get it over with. Thanks to the ladies for putting up with me me on here.

How many emotions can a girl go through in one day, worry, excitement, stressed! Now confused again as have been standing on the front line of a gym class with fellow fitties, most of which have had work and seem happy as larry, I still wish i could have embraced the tennis balls everyones else seems to like them. i dont, but still want to like them, and have been depressed ever since i had them. I just want to be happy again, im tired of feeling sad. I hope there are people out there that will appreciate my like little jelly tots and me. 1 day to go.

Hey ladies, here goes......

I did it and got through it. I am implant free hurrah!!!!! I am not going to lie I have been feeling very alone and very emotional but each day its getting easier. I think I will be a happy dainty girl again.

I had been terribly worried about the explant operation itself, and there was no need. The GA was fine the staff at the hospital listened to my worries (although I was in a complete emotional state). I had the minimum amount of GA and morphone as I could. I only took one paracetamol after the operation and havent needed any since. I didnt throw up after the op, oddly I eat like a pig! last time the hospital didnt give me food for basically 24 hours, hense why after a GA, pain killers and antibiotics my stomache went to town. Anyone worried about a GA dont be, just make sure whoever is dealing with you is aware of your concerns. I made sure this time!

The staff were a lot more caring this time although insensitive in a way through lack of knowledge about my case. I had gone to the hospital yes very scared, but knowing I wanted an explant. The hospital had only ever offered me an explant, not any other options (for free) due to my distress at having the huge things in the first place! I was a nervous wreck and thought I may pass out a one point. Different nurses kept popping in my room all making the same mistake which unfortunately made my experience very stressful. Each nurse that came in my room assumed I was either having bigger implants or a revision of some sort not removal! Each nurse was shocked when I said i was having them removed, each asking what your not having them replaced? Or why dont you get smaller ones. The head nurse was really surprised I hadnt been offered this option when I told her about my situation. In the hours leading to my explant operation this made me feel terribly confused, I didnt know if I should ask for smaller implants!!!! I didnt, as I have never liked them in my body, but thought about it. I will always wonder if my orginal experience at the hospital (when I had the BA) had been differerent and if I had been given a small augmentation just for volume (which is what I had asked) if I would have reacted differently and my boob journey would have been different. I now will never know, but it will always be a lingering thought.
I wasn't given a bra or even strapped up after the surgery which I wasnt impressed with. Having read so many reviews on here (thank you ladies) I know compression is important. I felt as if they didnt know how to deal with me. After the explant nurses came in to check on me, changed shifts different nurses again being nice, but insentitive to my circumstances. Each one came in to check my boobs assuming I had just had implants! I would have to again explain I had just had them blardy removed, then they would be shocked and not know what to do other than check my wounds.
After the op I did feel a huge wave of relief both mentally and physically. I didnt relise how much the things weighed me down! Its so nice just to feel like me, now I dont have them in me its made me relise how they took over my body. Its a feeling hard to explain, but I dont think I would have ever been able to forget the implants were there. I have had the best sleep since i had the implants placed in late January. I have been sleeping like a baby...heaven. I am getting bored 6 days now with no exercise, but feel fine. I dont have a check up till day 10.Untill I get the green light I wont do anything strenuous.
I will admit I have been distressed by the way my boobs have looked after the surgery. I wish I hadnt looked at them for a couple days. I think i had been concentrating on getting through the operation/GA which I was scared of, that I hadnt actually mentally prepared myself for the fact my boobs may not look the same as before. I think as everyone had said I hadnt had them for long (3 months) I thought they would look the same, of course they dont. However each day has got easier and I have seen improvement in appearance and tone. I pray this fluffing fairy takes pity on my sorry sole and gives me a visit. I truly am very sorry I did this to myself I really am, but think they will end up looking ok. Sorry for long update, I am trying to be as frank as possible so others can mentally prepare . It is worth it, I feel like me, free as a bird, light as a feather and no longer fake! Welcome back me.

Day 10 after explant. Things are improving but my jelly tots are definetly smaller than before I don't understand why : ( I have also been getting lots of pins and needle feelings in my boobs, more so on the right side, anyone else get this?
I had an appointment with the nurse on day 9, my patient co-ordinator didnt even bother to tell me she wasnt there, charming. The nurse didnt know anything about my case, yet again another member of staff completely insensitive to my circumstances....surely they should read case notes or something before some poor souls appointment! She asked me if I was having more implants put in...FFS! She said the only way I would get rid of the sag would be with more implants. I had asked her what I could be doing to help my skin recover as i hadnt been told anything! The only and best advice I have got through all this is from the ladies on this site, thank you, without this site with these idiots I would be completely finished off! Anyway I still cant shower, but was told my wounds were healing as they should be. I said I had read online that the skin can retract over many months, and the nurse agreed which then completely contadicted what she had said earlier. I asked her if I can exercise and she really didnt seem to sure, so I am still unsure if I can do anything, after talking to her I think we concluded light exercise on a bike would be ok, no upper body anything. I guess she was just there to check the wounds and nothing more. If anyone has advice on exercising after explant or anything I could be doing to help my jelly tots it would be appeciated. I dont think I can do much on the skin on my boobs yet as my scars and not yet fulled healed and cant risk infection. I should have another appointment I am guessing in about a week...hope that goes better and someone is there that can advise me....

Feeling way more positive today, woke up and thought my little ones dont look to bad : ) Might even pluck up the currage to post pics later. I really can tell they are chnaging everyday at the moment. I hope this doesnt scare anyone but will write it incase another liitle lady has the same thing. I had what I can only describe as a kind of sent in each little boob, this seems to be filling out now. They still look smaller than before Im just grateful they are looking more nomal, now fluff god damm it! X

Having trouble posting and losing pics! explant pics are from Day 9, they have improved since (I think). : )

Hi ladies, feeling so much more positive, making plans and wanting to pick myself up and get back out there : ) I have a wound appointment on Monday and am hoping I can remove the sterile strips and start breast massage. Anyway I was wondering fo thos ladies who have explanted how long you kept wearing sports bras, or is it a case every ones different. I will ask on Monday but wondered if I am going to be wearing them for a super long time.

Hey ladies due to explant, one of the doctors on here Tom J. Pousti, MD, FACS posted a REALLY useful link answering a recent question I made on what to expect after explant you might want to look at :

http://www.poustiplasticsurgery.com/Procedures/breast-implant-removal.htm

http://www.poustiplasticsurgery.com/Procedures/breast-implant-removal-post-op-instructions.htm

Well today has gone a bit pear shaped! I was looking forward to my wound appointment with the nurse today, expecting to be told I could shower and start breast massage and resume exercising. I had an email yes an email from my so called care co-ordinator saying my appointment had been cancelled as the nurse was sick. just aswell I had bothered to look at my personal email today as I would have driven all the way there! Now waiting to sort out another appointment time/date. Just aswell I dont have an infection or something ( I hope). I have been mucked about so much with appointments from begining pre BA to explant all the way along with these people, 2 consultations I had the surgeon turned up nearly an hour late both times. These people are cr*p and insensitive. I am a human with feelings! Right now I am trying to do everything to help my body to recover and I feel I am just dealing with people that dont give a bl**dy t*ss!. Rant over, ill be able forget this down the line!
On a positive im sure I have had sprinkle from the fluffing fairy, my sports bras are feeling tighter and the odd dents I had in my jelly tots are filling out. Come back fairy come back! I love my jelly tots now and really apprecaite them and ill be the best dainty gil I can be I swear! Come back fluffing fairy! : )

Hey ladies, hurrah I managed to get an appointment with the nurse. I had my second wound review. Good and bad news and possibly interesting point for any recently explanted women to think about or for any ladies just about to. I am an itty bitty exercise freak and have basically been told only to go on my exercise bike or very light exercise. I normally do a lot of classes, running, Im a massive body attacker, spinner, pumper etc anyway....
I am 3 weeks post explant today (cant believe it!) and I had asked if i could start doing classes or building up etc. I was told it would be good for my scar if I waited a little longer. I was told I have healed nicely. However apparently with it so fresh some exercise can make the scar effectively stretch. My patient co-ordinated suggested I leave the classes for another week or so, so my final resuly (the scar) is asthetically (sorry spelling) is better. We agreed I can run and do lower weights though : ) Just thought I would mention it for other fitness ladies to bare in mind. Yes Im gagging to get back to my old self but rather it take longer and have a smaller scar.
On the scar front I hadn't looked at mine until today. I wanted to get used to my jelly tots again before possibly getting upset about the scars. The good news is I am very pleasantly surprised! Baring in mind I had my implants 3 months and the same scar has been opened and closed again it looks bloody good, not literally 'bloody' lol! Also bang on in the crease of my boobs. The nurse even commented how in time she didnt think I would see them. God that gave me big boost.
On the jelly tot front they continue to change and look better, might feel brave enough for some new pictures soon. The what I can only descibe as dent in my right boob has nearly gone, the left boob its a little more noticeable. They def look better everyday : ) I was advised to wait for my next nurse appointment before I begin massage or do anything with the scar.
On another note what treatment does everyone think is best for the scars? I know a lot of the US ladies seem to use Maderma. I had bought some Dermatix scar gel. My patient co-ordinator recommended their own Tamanu Scar Balm, not sure if anyone has used that, or if its anygood? She may have just been pitching the companies poducts. Im a few weeks off being able to do anything on the scar front anyway, but would be good to know if anyone particulaly thinks or rates anything as particularly good? Sorry once again seem to have wrote loads! Happy healing to all us brave gals! X P.S I can now shower whooopppeeeee!!!!!!