Regretted my Implants, I wanted them out ASAP - UK, and got them out! : )
- updated 2 months ago
I haven't been feeling right since my BA operation...
- 9 Feb 2013
I haven't been feeling right since my BA operation 10 days ago (not just physically sick). I thought it might be the drugs. In the booklet I have been given it say's patients can become depressed after surgery etc. However I am feeling like I have made the worse decision of my life and feeling very stupid for it. I didnt know I would freak out by having these objects in me. All I have been doing since the op is crying, looking up explant, on the internet and seeing if any other women have felt like me. Anyone?
I have always hated my lack of chest or so I thought, and thought about implants for years. People around me seem to be having things done left right and centre. I have always had comments from men and women about my small chest. I had the BA as thought it was something I really wanted and had wanted for a long time.
I had discussed a small augmentation with my surgeon as I am a petite, and athletic. I just wanted to fill a bra not necessarily big boobs. I was given one of the sizes that was discussed, but on my frame they seem HUGE. Honestly even in the compression bra they are massive on me. I asked for a natural look, I wanted suttle. On an average size woman I think they may have looked ok in size but on me, there huge!
I feel awful, tearful, ashamed, akward. I did not expect to feel this way. I thought I would be bouncing off the walls with happiness as I would finally be able to fill out clothes. Instead I feel in mourning over my old body which there was nothing wrong with, and utter disgust that I have put these things inside me. I can't even stand my arm brushing past the side of my boob at the moment as they feel hard and horrible. All I want to do is hide them.
All I can think about at the moment is getting them out of me. Has anyone felt like this? Have you had a quick explant? How long will it be before the skin is over stretched? I feel I am a strong person and am shocked i feel this way, and cant believe what a massive expensive and stupid mistake I have made. I really regret the operation. Help, any advice welcome??????
Following a visit to my GP and the cosmetic...
- 28 Feb 2013
Feeling really low today. I feel fat and ugly. I...
- 4 Mar 2013
Well still not feeling any further forward. I...
- 8 Mar 2013
First public work out since my dreaded BA. I did...
- 12 Mar 2013
I have a good day then get knocked down again. Im...
- 18 Mar 2013
I've been wanting to update my review for a few...
- 31 Mar 2013
..... I've been waiting for a few weeks to get my explant date through from the surgeon, finally they phoned me up at work on thursday and offered me 3 dates 24th or 25th of April or 7th May. I was at work and have nowhere private to take calls so could not speak to the co-ordinator on the phone I just jotted the dates down and told her I would find out what time I could take off from work. This is difficult at the moment as my colleague is now leaving and working her notice period, added stress for me, and not a happy boss. I have just told him I have an personal issue and need some time off towards the end of April and he has excepted this. I do not know if he or others at work have noticed my implants. I think he may have done.
Anyway, I felt a wave of emotions (when I got the dates), part of me was relieved to finally have the dates, part of me feels/felt panicked as the dates aren't that far away, part of me still cant believe I have done this to myself and i am going to put myself through hell again so soon, I'm a complete nut, can I face it. Ive been starting to loose it at work over silly things, god I need to chill out.
My BA was on January 29th, i've been distressed ever since, ive not had one day where I have been able to embrace my implants/fakies. I thought I would love not having to wear padded bras and balancing my shape. They have got smaller thank god, I must have had a lot of swelling, but I just don't seem to like them, I dont hink I ever will. I don't like them inside me, I don't think they will ever look or feel natural and I don't think I will ever forget they are there. I don't want to think about my implants all the time, I am very athletic and active, I want to think about fitness and health not b**bs. Why couldnt except my shape the way it was? Will I finally except my shape without the bl**dy things? I have hid them ever since having them done, all the time hoping i might get used to them or feel differently. I know a lot of women that have had BAs and other surgery at my gym, a lot of them seem to have huge fake breasts, my 275s seem nothing in comparison, I just keep wondering why i haven't been able to take this in my stride and get used to them and embrace them like other women, why? Why don't I like them??? Why haven't i wanted to show them off. Ifs not fair I don't want to feel this way but I do. Its not fair.
I am sure a few people have noticed as I have had the odd weird comment. I also expect others think or would think my body is more in proportion now, I think it is, but when I look at these things when i am naked I think ewww gross, when I raise my arms I feel like I look like I have bolt ons. They have got softer but are just not like nice natural breasts.
I only told one person from my gym and my dad about my BA, both are aware i'm not happy, I havent really had anyone to talk to, I just play mind games about my boobs with myself everyday, its exhausting. Oh why cant I be happy it would be so much easier.
I went to the hospital for the BA by myself when I had the operation. I hadnt even been in a hospital before. I think I was very naive. I did not enjoy or have a good experience at the hospital not eating or drinking for 12 hours and waiting for 7 hours for my operation once I arrived at the hospital, was just scratching the surface. I expected the staff to be caring and spend time with me, but like I say I was naive, its elective surgery, the staff aren't going to be like that, idiots like me choose to do this to them selves. I was scared, and did not recover well after the operation, being sick loads before I was given an injection to stop throwing up. After I got home a few days later i continued to be very sick. I am petrified and distraught that I have got to do this to myself again. I can only hope that as I have done it once before I know what to expect, so it wont be as traumatising.
I have been getting my fitness levels up over the last couple of weeks, I suspect i will have only just got my fitness back to high level just as I have my next operation. This sucks. I have know idea how long I will need to recover the second time around (after explant). I am due to have a meeting with the surgeon sometime in early April (they have changed the date 3 times now).
My body is going to be in its worse state ever after the explant. Im so worried and distraught. All this to try and get back to my natural but small breasts, which will now probably be saggy aswell as scarred. God it would be so much easier if I liked these bl**dy things! Why cant I like them like most women. The other option waiting to see if I get used to them, or a lifetime of worry with them inside me, worrying about CC or rupture doesn't appeal, further surgeries to keep them looking right, no thanks. Why oh why did I not fully think of this before I had them, although I guess I wasn't banking on feeling like this. I am emotionally worn out, I am starting to wonder if I am a total fruitcake, most of this year has been wasted on a stupid decision to get bigger boobs, what a waste.
Now counting the days till my explant op : ) Im...
- 15 Apr 2013
I definetly want them removed but the easy option would have been to keep them but then that is not solving the problem. Its best to just grin and bear it and get it over with. Thanks to the ladies for putting up with me me on here.
How many emotions can a girl go through in one...
- 22 Apr 2013
Hey ladies, here goes...... I did it and got...
- 30 Apr 2013
I did it and got through it. I am implant free hurrah!!!!! I am not going to lie I have been feeling very alone and very emotional but each day its getting easier. I think I will be a happy dainty girl again.
I had been terribly worried about the explant operation itself, and there was no need. The GA was fine the staff at the hospital listened to my worries (although I was in a complete emotional state). I had the minimum amount of GA and morphone as I could. I only took one paracetamol after the operation and havent needed any since. I didnt throw up after the op, oddly I eat like a pig! last time the hospital didnt give me food for basically 24 hours, hense why after a GA, pain killers and antibiotics my stomache went to town. Anyone worried about a GA dont be, just make sure whoever is dealing with you is aware of your concerns. I made sure this time!
The staff were a lot more caring this time although insensitive in a way through lack of knowledge about my case. I had gone to the hospital yes very scared, but knowing I wanted an explant. The hospital had only ever offered me an explant, not any other options (for free) due to my distress at having the huge things in the first place! I was a nervous wreck and thought I may pass out a one point. Different nurses kept popping in my room all making the same mistake which unfortunately made my experience very stressful. Each nurse that came in my room assumed I was either having bigger implants or a revision of some sort not removal! Each nurse was shocked when I said i was having them removed, each asking what your not having them replaced? Or why dont you get smaller ones. The head nurse was really surprised I hadnt been offered this option when I told her about my situation. In the hours leading to my explant operation this made me feel terribly confused, I didnt know if I should ask for smaller implants!!!! I didnt, as I have never liked them in my body, but thought about it. I will always wonder if my orginal experience at the hospital (when I had the BA) had been differerent and if I had been given a small augmentation just for volume (which is what I had asked) if I would have reacted differently and my boob journey would have been different. I now will never know, but it will always be a lingering thought.
I wasn't given a bra or even strapped up after the surgery which I wasnt impressed with. Having read so many reviews on here (thank you ladies) I know compression is important. I felt as if they didnt know how to deal with me. After the explant nurses came in to check on me, changed shifts different nurses again being nice, but insentitive to my circumstances. Each one came in to check my boobs assuming I had just had implants! I would have to again explain I had just had them blardy removed, then they would be shocked and not know what to do other than check my wounds.
After the op I did feel a huge wave of relief both mentally and physically. I didnt relise how much the things weighed me down! Its so nice just to feel like me, now I dont have them in me its made me relise how they took over my body. Its a feeling hard to explain, but I dont think I would have ever been able to forget the implants were there. I have had the best sleep since i had the implants placed in late January. I have been sleeping like a baby...heaven. I am getting bored 6 days now with no exercise, but feel fine. I dont have a check up till day 10.Untill I get the green light I wont do anything strenuous.
I will admit I have been distressed by the way my boobs have looked after the surgery. I wish I hadnt looked at them for a couple days. I think i had been concentrating on getting through the operation/GA which I was scared of, that I hadnt actually mentally prepared myself for the fact my boobs may not look the same as before. I think as everyone had said I hadnt had them for long (3 months) I thought they would look the same, of course they dont. However each day has got easier and I have seen improvement in appearance and tone. I pray this fluffing fairy takes pity on my sorry sole and gives me a visit. I truly am very sorry I did this to myself I really am, but think they will end up looking ok. Sorry for long update, I am trying to be as frank as possible so others can mentally prepare . It is worth it, I feel like me, free as a bird, light as a feather and no longer fake! Welcome back me.
Day 10 after explant. Things are improving but my...
- 4 May 2013
I had an appointment with the nurse on day 9, my patient co-ordinator didnt even bother to tell me she wasnt there, charming. The nurse didnt know anything about my case, yet again another member of staff completely insensitive to my circumstances....surely they should read case notes or something before some poor souls appointment! She asked me if I was having more implants put in...FFS! She said the only way I would get rid of the sag would be with more implants. I had asked her what I could be doing to help my skin recover as i hadnt been told anything! The only and best advice I have got through all this is from the ladies on this site, thank you, without this site with these idiots I would be completely finished off! Anyway I still cant shower, but was told my wounds were healing as they should be. I said I had read online that the skin can retract over many months, and the nurse agreed which then completely contadicted what she had said earlier. I asked her if I can exercise and she really didnt seem to sure, so I am still unsure if I can do anything, after talking to her I think we concluded light exercise on a bike would be ok, no upper body anything. I guess she was just there to check the wounds and nothing more. If anyone has advice on exercising after explant or anything I could be doing to help my jelly tots it would be appeciated. I dont think I can do much on the skin on my boobs yet as my scars and not yet fulled healed and cant risk infection. I should have another appointment I am guessing in about a week...hope that goes better and someone is there that can advise me....
Feeling way more positive today, woke up and...
- 5 May 2013
Having trouble posting and losing pics! explant...
- 9 May 2013
Hi ladies, feeling so much more positive, making...
- 10 May 2013
Hey ladies due to explant, one of the doctors on...
- 11 May 2013
Well today has gone a bit pear shaped! I was...
- 13 May 2013
On a positive im sure I have had sprinkle from the fluffing fairy, my sports bras are feeling tighter and the odd dents I had in my jelly tots are filling out. Come back fairy come back! I love my jelly tots now and really apprecaite them and ill be the best dainty gil I can be I swear! Come back fluffing fairy! : )
Hey ladies, hurrah I managed to get an appointment...
- 15 May 2013
I am 3 weeks post explant today (cant believe it!) and I had asked if i could start doing classes or building up etc. I was told it would be good for my scar if I waited a little longer. I was told I have healed nicely. However apparently with it so fresh some exercise can make the scar effectively stretch. My patient co-ordinated suggested I leave the classes for another week or so, so my final resuly (the scar) is asthetically (sorry spelling) is better. We agreed I can run and do lower weights though : ) Just thought I would mention it for other fitness ladies to bare in mind. Yes Im gagging to get back to my old self but rather it take longer and have a smaller scar.
On the scar front I hadn't looked at mine until today. I wanted to get used to my jelly tots again before possibly getting upset about the scars. The good news is I am very pleasantly surprised! Baring in mind I had my implants 3 months and the same scar has been opened and closed again it looks bloody good, not literally 'bloody' lol! Also bang on in the crease of my boobs. The nurse even commented how in time she didnt think I would see them. God that gave me big boost.
On the jelly tot front they continue to change and look better, might feel brave enough for some new pictures soon. The what I can only descibe as dent in my right boob has nearly gone, the left boob its a little more noticeable. They def look better everyday : ) I was advised to wait for my next nurse appointment before I begin massage or do anything with the scar.
On another note what treatment does everyone think is best for the scars? I know a lot of the US ladies seem to use Maderma. I had bought some Dermatix scar gel. My patient co-ordinator recommended their own Tamanu Scar Balm, not sure if anyone has used that, or if its anygood? She may have just been pitching the companies poducts. Im a few weeks off being able to do anything on the scar front anyway, but would be good to know if anyone particulaly thinks or rates anything as particularly good? Sorry once again seem to have wrote loads! Happy healing to all us brave gals! X P.S I can now shower whooopppeeeee!!!!!!
3.5 weeks post explant, natural, me and happy.
- 20 May 2013
Jelly tot improvment : )
- 31 May 2013
I have been doing spinning, lower leg weights and abs so enjoying that but have been told I should only still be light training and cant do any chest or arm work. I was wondering when other ladies out there started with chest work? Press ups, triceps etc? I am begining to look a bit wimpy : ) I cant wait to get up to full power and do body attack again, I will look like a nutter when I can do it. This little lady is raring to go.
I have been told I can start treating my scar at 6 weeks, so just a few days to wait. I am hopeful it will fade as it doesnt look two bad if I am honest, baring in mind I only had my op for the BA 4 months ago and surgeon went in the same way etc.
I am finding dressing a little difficult just wearing sports bras which flatten you. I think I am an awkward size, its difficult to find any sports bra with a 30 inch back. I have become a more empowered lady and this week wrote to M&S well known company in UK about why they didnt stock a lot of there sports bras in the smaller sizes, I explained lean fit women need to look after there jelly tots aswell. Not everyone wants to have boulder boobs knocking about! Help the little ladies look after them. : )
They are getting there : )
- 2 Jun 2013
Ive been told at 6 weeks I can begin start treating the scars, I cant wait as I keep looking at them now. I feel so guilty for scaring my own ickle bod, but its done Im dealing with it and happy again without the monsters inside me. The dermatix scar gel is ready and waiting, hope it works!
Ive seen other ladies who have explanted start to do chest exercises quite quickly. Ive been told to avoid any upper body, so have. I cant wait to get the go ahead to start doing some briceps, triceps etc. I am used to feeling like I had a strong bod for a dainty girl, at the moment I feel like a weakling lol : ) No biggy I know ill get it back eventually! Times a healer as they say.
I found a lovely new sports bra pictured it feels really comfortble but dont think I can wear it yet as it has underwire in it. The time will come! I am noticing lots of pretty little bras in shops now. I never really noiced them before!
I hope my pics dont disgust anyone, I know I only have ickle ones, I am just posting pics now so people can compare, or know what to expect, as ladies on here were so supportive to me. I really am very grateful to those that have helped me along.
Next weekend I have an appointment with surgeon, not sure if he will examine me or not, ive not been told - useless hey! I will mention how my little ones are recovering at different rates, the dent in lefty jelly tot is taking a lot longer to go, and see what he says, or can recommend.
Happy healing everyone. X
- 2 Jun 2013
Lack of care and expertise/Muppets!
- 4 Jun 2013
I started off today with another cr*p useless email from my patient co-ordinator.I had contacted her to ask what to expect at my appointment with the surgeon on Saturday and to ask a few questions.
Firstly - she has said to me to continue to not do upper body until after this meeting on Sat 'to be on the safe side'. Pre explant my surgeon had said I would be doing everything I did before with 3/4 weeks. Yes she is being careful, but throughout this whole experience conflicting advise from there end. I really don't think she has much idea about different exercise nor how fit I was, which has been frustrating as when I have queried what I can do Im not convinced she has known what i have been going on about in terms of type of exercise. etc She has given me different advise to what the nurses said.
Secondly, and more interestly she replied back to my quey about bras. She advised 'you can begin wearing normal bra's generally post op bra's are to be worn for at least 6 weeks but as every surgeon is different it is best you see him first'. This has really got my back up!!!! I had asked my surgeon at my consult pre explant if they would provide a surgery bra, he has said 'I didnt need to worry about it' I assumed stupidly that he meant that I would get one at the hospital or that I wouldnt need one as I would be bandaged up like all the other women on this site had been. This did bug my so I also asked my patient care co-ordinator if I would need to take a bra or would they provide a post surgery bra, she told me to take some of my old sports bras. So I did. After my explant op I was not bandaged or compressed at all, just left in my room in hospital gown. It was very distressing to see my boobs staight after the explant as if Im honest my chest looked a mess. I thought it was strange I wasnt bandaged up, but after a GA your a bit out of it so layed in my bed thinking somone would come and bandage me up or put me in a bra even if it was one of my own that I brought. It never happened. I got out of bed and put one of my own old sports bras on, at this time they didnt fit, all to big which freaked me out and had upset me even more. Having been on this site I knew compression was important.
Anyway so why the heck is this muppet of a woman telling me that I should stay in my post op surgery bra when they didnt even give me one!!!!! They didnt even bandage me up, I just dont think they had a clue or even care/cared.
Ive kept records of everything particularly from my initial BA, Ive had enough of these muppets. I intend to make a formal complaint, I will do a time line make it constructive. It might not get me anywhere, they might just stick it in the bin, but if it makes any of there staff more considerate or caring or encourages other so called patient co-rdinators to seek further advice if needed so other ladies don't feel like how I have felt with there so called service and aftercare, it will be worth it. Muppets I tell you! Rant over.
Hmmm not sure if I'm convinced but don't care...
- 8 Jun 2013
I do find how good looking my surgeon is very distracting but anyway....He asked me how I was and I said a lot better than last time he saw me. I asked him about compression, he did seem a little annoyed as I had explained I had read that its best to help the breast tissue recover and had been in contact with other ladies who had all been wrapped up/ compressed after there ops. He told me not to his knowledge, the only reason you need to compress is if you have bled, he told me I didnt bleed one drop. He also said he would have told me to do that if it had been the case. I almost feel bad for asking now!
He told me I didnt need to keep wearing sports bras, and I could wear any bras and I am healed. I might wear my new underwired sports bras then! Oh and get measured and get myself some sexy boosting bras. He said you cant wear underwires with implants, its ok with explant and that women wea sports bras after implants to support them I don't need to wear them.
I asked him how long my breasts will be recovering he said 6-12 months, which is one thing he has said that seems to match what others have said on here.
I asked about my dents when he examined me, not much of an examination, although i guess I dont know what I was expecting him to do. At first he was saying what dents but I insisted on him looking and made him look from the side. i must admit in the last week they seem to have puffed up a bit more. He said the dent is to do with where the implant was and I wouldnt be able to do anything about it just see if time heals it. Fair enough.
He confimed that I could do anything I was doing before including upper body work outs. He seemed confused as if why was i asking. He had said to me in my pre explant consult that I would be doing everything in 3/4 weeks I was before. What he doesnt know and I didnt mention is that his advise, the nurses advises has always been different hense why I always have felt unsure what to do.
He looked at my scars and said they were well hidden which they are. That was it i said thank you shook his hand and went. Mixed emotions.
I had a brief chat whith my patient care co-ordinator who confimed my surgeon was leaving next week he woks here and in Italy and wifes is just about to drop. She said somone called Mario would be taking over if I wanted to see someone in three months. She said I could contact her, and just went over the fact I could start using the scar gel. I have bought silicon strips and gel she said to start with the strips first. Thats it I guess. I feel a bit down and Im not sure why, Ive healed and can move on. i just think any time I have been to that clinic it does my head in, I get tearful. I guess I associate it with the worst time in my life or something. I feel like the last 6 months have basically uined my life. Onwards and upwards though, and upper body work out tmrw, and need to work on sorting my social life out etc : ) Theres more to life than big knockers x
Booby surprise : )
- 29 Jun 2013
I decided to get some new bras last weekend. I had been living in sports bras that did nothing for me, even though my surgeon had said at my last visit I could wear what bras I wanted to. I oddly had got used to the sports bra wearing all the time, and was scared not to wear them after what I had put my jelly tots through!
Anyway bra wearing seems fine : ) . Now wearing some underwired. I got a couple of new bras last weekend and was told I was a 30 B...I was chuffed to bits, this weekend I am thinking jesus creepers, the lady said I needed a 30 C in the bras I brought today!!!!! Well that was a pleasant surprise. I was very positive with the fitter, but did say' your having a F*cking laugh!!!!' which she found funny, I couldnt help it. They are underwired comfort plunge bras, very comfy. Ive always thought I was an 'A' most of the time. I will post some pics soon. I was hoping to have brought my new iphone but haven't got round to it so wanted to wait to post update pics, as a few ladies on here have said there boobs look bigger on iphone piccys lol!Ill have to use my poor mans iphone (Samsung) and put more recent piccys up. Anyhows, UK little ladies if you need a mental boost I would suggest you get measured at Debenhams as there bras must come up small!!! XXX
Lisa-marie Bodyrock wow!
- 1 Jul 2013
Wow time has flown by...
- 14 Jul 2013
I have started wearing normal bras again which has given my confidence back. Although I am sporty and love sports bras for working out they don't do much for your figure for everyday. I'm pleased with the look of my doo dars now, I really do appreciate them now.
Ive been measured at a few different places but am sure over the 3 months my doo dars have fluffed increased in size a bit. I brought the leopard print sports bra a while back and its tight now. I am generally measuring a 30B. I have had to buy a couple of 30C bras!!!! Yes C, no way I hear you say. This is what the fitter said. They are v comfy. I know in most shops I will be an A or B, but was pleased to have to buy a C in the bra I liked see pics!
Im getting my life back and no longer are my thoughts occupied by ruddy boobs! Those ladies about to explant please don't worry you will be ok, its amazing how the body recovers! Just be yourself X
Well known cosmetic surgery hospital in the UK