2 Years with Troublesome Implants and I'm So over It, GOODBYE FRANKENBOOB - Birmingham, GB

Hey ladies, I've read so many of your stories and I want to thank you all for your honesty and courage. I had my BA to try to fix slight asymmetry.

The asymmetry always bothered me, but it would spike in waves, I'd go 6 months without thinking about it, then something would happen, I'd notice it again, and it would be at the forefront of my mind. No boyfriends ever mentioned it. Until one guy thoughtlessly remarked how one boob filled out my bra cup more then the other. He didn't mean to be harsh, btw, he's lovely. We stopped dating at the time but have been together for the last 6 months. If he knew how his offhand comment affected me he'd hate himself. Anyway at the time, it jolted me into action and I booked a consultation a month later.

I was recommended my surg by a colleague in the industry, so I was pretty silly and only met up with him. I didn't ask enough questions, I didn't research all my options thoroughly. I was impulsive, and trying to fix myself on the outside, when really I should have spent that money on a top notch therapist and uber hoilday.

STATS: I was a 34a/b. Had a 255mod profile and 295high profile, Naturelle silicone textured partially under the muscle. Will uploads some pics in a bit. Suffice to say the implants only magnified the problem. I was positive and patient and thought the left implant would eventually drop and settle. It didn't..

I asked my surgeon more questions and found out he'd put a high profile implant in the smaller breast. I was distraught, I didn't realise he'd done that. His reason was cold logic, I have the capacity to have a 12cm diameter implant, so to make up the volume in the smaller breast I (apparently) couldn't have a larger moderate profile, as it would be too wide for me. So he stepped it up to the high profile.

Of course they were uneven! My logic says that. I had two different shaped implants in two already different shaped breasts! But his aspiration was obviously different to mine; my breasts filled my 34D bra the same amount. In clothes I look symmetrical. Aparrently I should be happy with that. Despite that fact that naked I have one lovely, albeit a tad droopy looking righty, and a weird rigid frankenboob lefty. I booked a revision with him 18 months after the initial BA to replace the 295HP with a 255MP (the same size that's in righty). I had to paid the basic hospital fees for this (2k)

Unbeknownst to me and the 3 other surgeons I met (for opinions) over the previous 18 months, I had actually developed early stage cc around my HP implant. My surgeon told me when I woke from the revision, he had to remove the capsule with the implant.

Now 6 months post revision, lefty still isn't okay. It's bottoming out :( and I could tell within a month. I think surg over compensated trying to open my small breast pocket to allow the implant to drop. I've seen him twice, he is charming, warm and always open to discussion, but says to wait untill 9 months. I really see no point, I considered trying to fix it again but after reading all the encouraging stories on here, I'm ready to call it quits, accept my itty bitty slightly wonky boobs, and be done with this!

I've suffered so much emotional distress from this. I've had 2 boyfriends and fortunately both have been really understanding. But I was diagnosed with depression 9 months after the first operation. It's been hard. The only saving grace is this: I have grown, I am wiser, less obsessive, and ready to accept my imperfections. I wanted to fix minor asymmetry and as a result have had more asymmetry for the last 2 years. My left breast is numb :( - and lefty used to be WONDERFULLY sensitive. I'm hoping a few years post explant I will regain sensation.

My biggest fear now is that when my surg cut out the surprise CC, he might have done damage to my breast tissue. I've seen cases on here where results from explantation can be deformed from this. I'm seeing him in a couple weeks and will talk to him then.

I emailed my surgeons PA requesting a date for surgery a couple days ago. really can't wait to have these implants removed! Woke up today with lefty aching again, it's all just really uncomfortable now :/ trying to keep positive though!