08/06/13- 11/5/13 rip implants!! :D

I have talked about getting implants off & on since i was 16.. im 27 & finally bit the bullet. I went with 375cc under the muscle. I got them August 6 2013 so at this point I'm only 5 weeks post op. recovering has been difficult mentally & physically. I dont want to put myself through a lifetime of surgeries. i know if i need a typical replacement 10 years down the road i wont replace...because I can't do this over and over and worry about complications...I know they increase with time and with additional surgeries . so im thinking if i feel that way now i may be better off explanting at 6 months.. while im young and havent had them in that long. They are very uncomfortable and I'm still having pain.. Can't sleep on my side. I went running but It still feels funny to do that so I held back a good bit. I've had a bit of support when I talk about explanting but most reactions are to tell me to give it time and that I will love them in a few months... But honestly I don't want to love them I'm scared to love them... I don't want to deal with issues down the road because I learned to love them. I almost hope they don't get comfortable so I can justify not enjoying the thing I worked so hard to obtain. This process has helped me grow so much spiritually... I'm just trying to put them out of my mind for now until I can actually do something about it. I need to get back to work I need to pay them off and heal. Many people say why not enjoy them and take them out when u have a complication rather than before... I'm scared if I do that then me results won't be as good?? What do u ladies think? I feel confused on what I should do still...

My boss told me to come back to work 6 weeks and then I could be off for the explant surgery. That means the end of next month!! Ladies did it ever get easier to sleep on ur stomach or side with implants in? Did u ever stop feeling them? My top worries right now other than my results post explant not looking good is the muscle jump when flexing. Does everyone get it? (I went under the muscle) does it get better with time? Also, will I ever get back my upper body strength? Will I always feel like a weaker version of my former self? If i go through with this explant procedure what are the long term affects? I had no idea getting them would make me so uncomfortable 24/7. What is undoing them going to do that I am unaware of? I need lots of support ladies. I'm shaking in my boots. I'm embarrassed by the entire situation. I've cried so much.

The date isn't set in stone. I gotta get my boss to approve it and get scheduled by the doc but that's the day I'm shooting for. I could use some words of encouragement right now. Nov. 5th will be 3 months after my BA. I am at battle in my mind. I keep saying to myself I looked good before I look good now and ill look good after but ill also be the old me again and feel free again. I'm scared of the procedure :/ I'm worries about the recovery process, I'm worried how I will look, I'm worried how I will feel mentally :( I'm hoping I get November 5th that's my nanas birthday who passed away. I think of I hold on to that good thought it will help my process be more positive. Ladies please tell me ur experiences especially if ur stats are close to mine in anyway 27, 375cc, 3 months of having implants