I had my BA in 1996, one week after my 18th...
I had my BA in 1996, one week after my 18th birthday. At the time I was insecure and had for some reason become obsessed with having big breasts. The thing is, I was never small to begin with. I was always about a C-cup so, objectively, there was really no reason for me to get them. But I somehow got the idea in my head and ran with it. Looking back, I think I was trying to distract myself from dealing with other things that were going on in my life.
So, fast-forward 16 years…now I am 34 years old and a completely different person than I was back then. I am happy and healthy and finally able to accept myself for who I am. I am comfortable in my body for the first time in, well, EVER. Now I am at the point that having these huge fake things on my chest just does not fit my personality or who I am at all.
I have been unhappy with my implants for years and knew that eventually I would have to replace them and get a lift because they have sagged over the years. I never thought it was an option to just remove them without putting new ones back in. Then I came upon this site and a few others like it and it was like a whole new door opened up! I decided almost immediately that this is what I had to do, and I have felt so happy since I made the decision.
So, my stats are: 32G bra-size now, implants under the muscle. They are very low and very bottomed out. I am not sure how many CC’s I have because when I was 18 years old I didn’t ask (can you believe it!) Oh, also, about three months after the first surgery I had to have a revision because the left breast was noticeably higher than the right, and the right had double-bubble.
At this point, I just can’t wait to get them out! I look at everyone’s lovely pictures on this site and wish so much that mine were already out. I can’t wait to feel light and free and be able to BREATHE again!
I have gone on three consultations and am trying to decide between two doctors at this point. These two doctors have two completely different recommendations—one says to just remove them and do nothing and they will look fine. The other one says she will reposition and lift all the tissue, raise the creases, and decrease the nipple size. I can’t decide which option to choose. One day I think I just want to take them out and wait and see if I need a lift, the next day I start thinking I might get a really bad result and should just do everything at once. The thing that worries me about not doing a lift at the same time is that my creases are so low that I think I may end up having sort of a double-crease with my own breast tissue lying disconnected on top of the empty pockets (does that make sense?) I am so confused…
I'm thinking of going back to get a second consult...
I'm thinking of going back to get a second consult with the two doctors I'm considering to help me make a decision regarding removing them with or without a lift. This indecision is awful! If I could have them out today I would do it! Honestly, I just want to have it over with!
I was just talking to my husband and telling him...
I was just talking to my husband and telling him how much smaller I'm going to be once I get explanted. I told him I'll probably be about half the size I am now. I am just trying to prepare him so he isn't totally shocked when it happens, but you should have seen the terrified look on his face! He's a self-proclaimed "boob man" and although he says he supports me, I know he would love it if I kept the implants in forever. I had them when we met and for reasons I don't understand, he loves them. I guess for some men bigger is just better. Today he said, "but they're still going to look good, right?" At this point I just wanted to punch him in the face. I mean really, how selfish can he be? Then he sort of tried to backtrack and said, "I'm sure I'll still like them," to which I said, "That's fine, but I really don't care if you do or not!" We were kind of kidding around, but I realized it is true that I don't really care what he thinks at this point. I want him to be attracted to me but not at the expense of my comfort and health...Then he said, "I love the stretch marks on them." Honestly, the things he says sometimes! Maybe he was trying to be accepting, but it sounded sort of like a backhanded compliment to me.
Have your husbands/significant others been supportive? I'm starting to think this will be kind of a test to our relationship.
Well, I had a second consultation yesterday with...
Well, I had a second consultation yesterday with the doctor I liked best out of the three. I was pretty much set to go in, ask him a few more questions, and book a surgery date. And I think I am still going to book it, but he said something that really scared me. We were talking about how during my revision surgery 15 years ago to correct the double-bubble on my right breast, the doctor put in some kind of mesh-like material to support the bottom of the breast and smooth it out. However, he said that because so much time has passed, it may have grown so far into the real breast tissue that it would be impossible to remove! Or it may have dissolved all together! So he will look for it during the surgery and try to remove it if he can, but he says he doesn't know what he'll find until he's in there. What I'm worried about is that, if left in, he said this may interfere with the skin's ability to shrink and contract like it normally would. And of course this shrinking and tightening up is what I was counting on because I had decided not to get a lift at the same time. So now I feel like I have a whole new variable to worry about!
The thing is, I cannot envision leaving the implants in indefinitely and I don't want to replace them with new implants, so it's inevitable that I have to deal with this at some point. I guess I just have to do it and hope for the best. I guess the worst that can happen is that if the one breast with the mesh in it doesn't firm up that I have to have a lift in a six months or so to fix it...
Have any of you had this mesh-like material put in at any point? The problem is that I can't ask my original surgeon what the specific material is because he passed away recently. He actually killed himself in his Beverly Hills office. When I heard this, I was floored. I felt so badly for him. Even though I had been mad at him in the past for putting such huge implants in me when I was 18 years old--basically a child--he was always a very nice man. I guess we all have our demons. I hope he is at peace now. And I hope I can keep my peace through all of this.
Well, I am waiting to book my surgery until next...
Well, I am waiting to book my surgery until next Tuesday because my doctor said he is doing an explant on a woman on Monday with 600cc implants and she is willing to talk to me after explant and let me know her experience. I have been getting such great advice and support from all of you ladies, but I can't pass up the opportunity to actually talk to someone over the phone about it!
Then I was just looking back over the quotes from the three doctors I consulted with, and I realized that I can get a removal & lift from one doctor ($6,500) for pretty much the same price as just the removal alone from the doctor I decided to go with ($6,100)! But I know I shouldn't pick a doctor based solely on price. I know there were reasons I didn't like the less expensive doctor, but as I was looking at that lower price quote, it's funny how those reasons just seemed to be lessening in importance. (Also, I am on my period, and I know from experience that my thinking processes can be very different during this time! ) I think I need to spend some time meditating as I have truly become obsessed with breasts!
I'm still deciding between surgeons. I find it...
I'm still deciding between surgeons. I find it bizarre how the prices I've been quoted are so different. One surgeon says $6,100 and another says $4,000. This is just for explant. And the surgeon who quoted $6,100, who I thought I liked better, showed me some more before & after pictures the other day at my second consult and two of the patients' nipples had caved in! So I told him I wanted to do the incision underneath the crease to avoid this risk, and he said that it would lessen the risk of the nipples caving in, but that it could still happen. What? I don't understand this. If you don't touch the nipple at all, how can the scar tissue of the nipple (which healed years ago) have a chance of caving in? Now I don't know what to think of this guy.
Hi everyone! Well, I took the plunge and scheduled...
Hi everyone! Well, I took the plunge and scheduled my explant surgery for December 21st. I am very excited and relieved that I FINALLY made this decision. :) There truly is no turning back now! Thank you to everyone who has read my indecisive and confusion-filled posts along the way! This site has been extremely helpful to me throughout the decision process. :)
I also decided to have the implants deflated in-office 10 days before the surgery so that I can get an idea of what they're going to look like. I am trying to avoid a lift, but even if I don't have a lift I think I may need to have the creases raised because they they were lowered too much when I got them in. I think if I don't raise them up, I'll end up with a double-crease and they won't sit right. I'm not sure about this, but at least deflating them beforehand will give me an idea (hopefully) if there's going to be any kind of major deformity.
Hopefully it won't hurt too much or be too overly traumatic to have them deflated. I'm a bit nervous about walking into the doctor's office with huge breasts and walking out 15 minutes later flattened! It sounds weirder than the actual surgery to me for some reason! I also don't know what kind of bra to wear between the time of deflation and explant. Should it be a tight compression bra? And can I do all my normal activities during this time? Can I work out? If anyone has any thoughts on this I'd appreciate it!
Decided not to do intentional deflation before...
Decided not to do intentional deflation before surgery. I talked to the doc I was originally leaning towards about it, he said he DID NOT recommend it in my case. He said unless I was considering new implants or a lift at the same time, the the risks (of infection, seroma, punctured lung) outweighed the benefits. So, I cancelled the deflation and surgery with the other PS and booked with this one, for the same day (Dec. 21). I would have liked to do it sooner, but I'm in grad school and have to wait for my winter break. It's so funny, I keep having strange dreams about getting my implants out. One of them felt so real that when I woke up, I had to feel my chest to see if they were still there!
Hi everyone! My surgery is coming up soon and I...
Hi everyone! My surgery is coming up soon and I just need some advice about how long the recovery time is. My husband says he will be able to take care of me, but he works a lot (from home, but still...), so I am thinking maybe I should ask my sister to come stay for a few days and help. I don't have kids, but I do have cats, one who needs medication, and I am concerned about feeding them, cleaning their litter box, etc. Do I have to keep my arms and chest completely immobile so the muscle will heal back to the chest bone? How long did it take until you could do light housework, etc? What about driving? Washing your hair? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
Okay, so I only have 5 days to go before my...
Okay, so I only have 5 days to go before my long-awaited explant surgery! I have been on this site since about August reading all of your stories, looking at all your beautiful pictures, and I am so ready to finally have my surgery.I can't believe I finished my first semester of grad school while in the midst of all the consultations and confusion and decision-making. I have looked at more breasts in the last few months than any straight woman should! :)
All I can say is that I am very excited! I have had to resist calling my PS to try to move the surgery up because I have this whole next week off and don't know what I'm going to do with myself for the next 5 days! I am so restless that I took one of the Tylenol 3's today that he prescribed for after the surgery!
Made my husband watch a You Tube video of an...
Made my husband watch a You Tube video of an explant surgery so he could see what I have to go through. He was horrified.
My surgery is tomorrow. I'm getting a bit nervous...
My surgery is tomorrow. I'm getting a bit nervous now. I hate going under anesthesia. It's such a helpless feeling. I'll just be so happy when I'm safe at home in my own bed.
Hi everybody, I made it through surgery. I don't...
Hi everybody, I made it through surgery. I don't have pictures to post yet (sorry), but I did get to see my breasts briefly yesterday at my post-op appointment and I was relieved that they look pretty good considering. It turns out my implants were 400cc and overfilled. I don't have drains, which I'm thankful for.
I'll post pictures as soon as I can. I'm actually a bit afraid to take off the tight compression bra and take a shower because everything just feels so delicate still.
Oh, one more thing. When I saw the implants, I was surprised to see that the fluid was dark red. My first thought was "is it blood?" However, my doctor said it wasn't blood, but that my original surgeon had actually mixed in betadine with the saline. I've never heard of this before, but he said some doctors used to do it. He also said he was very glad I hadn't opted for the deflation beforehand like the other doctor had suggested because if this old betadine-saline solution had gotten into the pocket it could have caused problems. So, I'm very grateful that I listened to my intuition on this one. I know a lot of women get deflation and it turns out fine, but in my case I just had a bad feeling about it.
Other than that, the doctor said everything looked "pristine" inside and that my capsules were "cellophane-thin."
Thank you all for your support!
I'm allowed to take a shower today for the first...
I'm allowed to take a shower today for the first time since surgery, but I'm scared! I feel so safe and secure in my tight compression sports bra and I really don't want to take it off! I'll post pictures as soon as I work up the courage.
Here is a picture finally! I am one week...
Here is a picture finally! I am one week post-explant. There is still some surgical marker on my skin and it hurts to scrub it off, but you can see pretty much what's going on. I have to say I am really happy I explanted. I feel SO MUCH BETTER! I can breathe deeply without strain. It's an amazing feeling.
I am pretty happy with the results so far, but I really hope they firm up some more. When I take off the sports bra, they look okay, but by the end of my shower they have gotten lower and lower and I feel like they are going to fall off my body! It's a little scary! Has anyone else experienced this? I really hope that as time goes on they will be able to retain their shape, or maybe I'll just have to wear this bra forever!
Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season!
I went shopping for a new sports bra today because...
I went shopping for a new sports bra today because the one I was given after surgery now doesn't feel tight enough. I guess some of the swelling is going down. The process of trying on bras was physically painful and emotionally frustrating. I didn't know what size I was, so I was just trying on smalls because my band size is 32. But I felt like all the material was poking into my breasts and scratching me and then I started to worry I was going to damage the tissue. I didn't know what to do, so I just bought the best one I could find, but I don't even know if I'll wear it because it feels weird. I found myself wondering if I'll ever be able to wear a normal bra again without being in pain. I may have to wear this surgical bra forever.
How tight should your bra be during recovery?...
How tight should your bra be during recovery? Aren't the breasts supposed to be compressed so that it encourages the tissue to contract? I'm wondering why my doctor didn't give me a tighter bra.
I think the tape over my sutures is coming off and...
I think the tape over my sutures is coming off and pulling out the stitches with it. I am freaking out! This probably happened when I was trying on sports bras today. I have left a message with my doctor but be hasn't called me back yet! I seriously don't know what to do!!!
Sorry about my mini-mentdown yesterday! I was able...
Sorry about my mini-mentdown yesterday! I was able to see my doctor today and he said everything is okay. It turns out that when trying on sports bras yesterday the tape over the incisions partially pulled up and pulled off some of the scabs, but not the stitches (he said all the stitches are actually internal).
I think I just need to relax. Yesterday was an emotional roller-coaster. I am starting to see that this surgery marks a sort of turning point in my life, in a good way, and is bringing up some feelings and making me evaluate a lot of things about my life. So grateful I found this site. And also glad I have a good therapist :)
Happy New Year everyone!
Just wanted to share something nice that happened...
Just wanted to share something nice that happened the other day. When I was out shopping I told the salesgirl I didn't know my size and she said "Well, you look very petite." PETITE?!!! I have not been called petite for YEARS because those huge implants always made me look so much heavier than I actually was! It have to say it was a really good feeling! :)
7-Month Post-Explant Update
17 Jul 2013
7 months post
So I can't believe it's already been 7 months since the surgery! I feel great--I can breathe deeply, my back doesn't hurt anymore, my clothes fit better, and I no longer feel like a porn star in hiding. (totally kidding- I hope I am not offending any porn stars who may be reading this :)). It is true that I have some stretch marks, they sag a bit, and they are not completely symmetrical (the left has always been slightly bigger than the right). But the bottom line is that I am so much more comfortable in my own skin now that these things don't bother me that much. The funny thing is, my husband likes them more now than before--a pleasant surprise. Overall I am so very happy I explanted and I really encourage anyone who is considering it to just take a deep breath and go for it...It's a journey, but one that I am so glad I have taken. Love to all of you!
8 Months Later and Happy
30 Aug 2013
8 months post
I just wanted to post a couple pics with bras on so you can see the difference of before and after. The main difference is that I'm not full on top like I was with the implants, but I expected that. As the months go on, I continue to feel more and more comfortable with my new (original) self!
Dr. Chiu was amazing throughout the entire process. He took time answering all my questions, and made me feel comfortable and cared for. I would definitely recommend him!