From 32H to a New Me.- Bellingham, WA

July 28th is getting close. I am finding myself trying to get ready for a surgery that is still a couple weeks away. I'm not really stressing about it though. If I start thinking about it, I tried find a solution. For instance, I started thinking about my hair, and whose going to wash it?

When I thought about it, I decided to set up three appointments to get my hair washed and dried at the beauty salon. When it came to what bra I would wear after, I started reading what others wore, and asked the PS. He told me to take the underwire out of my old bras. I want to make sure there was someone there if I needed help, so I talked to my husband, sister in law, and niece. I have to take my earrings out at the time of the surgery. My husband thinks I should take them out the night before, and leave them out, but one set of holes are only a couple months old. I made my niece promise to get them back in my ears if I can't. I know I can't be completely prepared, because I just don't know what to expect. I have found this website to be helpful in that respect, but I still have to figure it out on my own...everyone's different.

Now I'm taking last minute summer trips, because I know I will not be up for it for at least a month. It also keeps me preoccupied, which is always a plus. I am going to Ireland in September, and part of that trip will be spent in Scotland. The PS doesn't think I will be healed up enough by then, but the tickets had already been purchased way before I went to see him. Also, he had initially scheduled the surgery for June 25, but I think he kind of forgot. No matter, it is what it is, and all I can do is pray I heal fast.

I am 47 years old, 5'2", and currently a 32H. I'm not sure what size I was growing up, but I do remember being a DDD by the time I was pregnant with my last child (over 20 years ago). From there gravity just kept pulling them down. I could tell within that the last few years that it was taking a toll on me and my self esteem. Although, on the outside you couldn't tell, emotionally or physically, it was beginning to be a problem.

I'm very private, and no one really knew that it bothered me, but every time I'd go to clothes/bra shopping I would leave the store depressed. I'd be smiling when I went in the dressing room, and leave unhappy. Finding a bra was the worst. 32H bras are hard to find. Unless you went to a high end store it is virtually impossible. When my sister started noticing how sad it made me, she encouraged me to get it done. I have two sisters who have already had BR's. Eventually I listened to them and went for the consult.

I was told by my sisters, and a friend who recently had a BR they were going to messure me, take lots of pictures, and I was told to tell them that I have divots in my shoulders and my back hurt. My friend told me not to be surprised if our insurance denied me at first (we both have Tricare) and that I needed to be persistant. Well, I got the referral, went to the PS, he asked me what size bra I wore, what size did I want to be, and took two pictures. He then had me sign a consent form, and they told me it would know in three weeks if I had an approval from the insurance...and I did. Woohoo!! I called the insurance to see what my cost is, and I have a $25 copay with no deductible. I was surprised, and asked the gal to repeat that just so I got it right. Again, woohoo!!! Now I wait.

My sisters say I will be so much happier, my self esteem will change, and I will carry myself differently. I will start buying clothes that I never thought I would buy (always afraid I'd show too much, and how big I am). This will be a new day for me, and I'm looking forward to it.

Lately I've been finding myself staring at myself in the mirror. I'll lift them (the girls) up and wonder what I'll look like after the surgery. Will I be able to find my waist again? I went to the store and stood straight up instead of being my hunched over self, and wondered if I will stand straight naturally it will I have to work at it. Will i see a difference? I think the most recent thing I wonder is: will I be happy? Does anyone feel the same way, or is it just me? I imagine I'll be wondering a lot before the big day. What are you wondering about?

On another note; I was talking to my Sister in law and told her I needed to find one if those Genie bras. I had heard that some woman have used those. I was told to take out the underwire from my old bra, but I don't want a reason to be frustrated because I can't get it snapped right, or my husband can't snap it right. Well, it just so happens that my sister in law had a few of those bras. She lost one of her breasts to breast cancer, and she had reconstructive surgery. Now I have three or four of them, and it's one less thing I have to think about.