Part One: BR - Life changing! Going from 40GG-H to 20C!!!!- Australia

Where to begin. Well, first of all I gotta say I know it is a US site but there is no similar support site in Oz therefore I hope you ladies don't mind a foreigner coming along to the site. I have been checking up on the site for a fortnight now and every time I read a review, a blog post I was jelous! CONGRATS to ALL THE LADIES who have gone through these - you are amazing and great role models. Thank you! I remember when I first thought about getting a BR -about 12years ago there was ZERO INFORMATION available online and when my GP told me "You haven't even used them breast for their purpose! When they have served their purpose then come back and we will see" I merely accepted it. Needless to say I should not have had. 12years on my boobs still have not "served their purpose" (e.g I sitill haven't had a child) but the tables are turned. I am rejecting having a baby until I get my boobs fixed! I told my new GP that I am simply not willing to get pregnant and breastfeed in my current situation - and for the sake of the baby. My breast are almost down to my belly button -no joke I am afraid- poor child would suffocate if I were to try and breastfeed - its face would get stuck under my breasts! I cannot lift neither of my breast by one hand - I have to use 2.How on earth they anticipate me to breast feed like this? Thank God my new GP is a star and he immediately understand my point of view and has recommended that I undertake a BR. Hallelujah, exactly my thoughts.
So I started researching...and this how I ended up here.

About myself?
I am 32 (yep,gotta think of that baby soon) and currently live in SYD, Australia. Currently because I move about every couple of years. Move about means from one continent to another, but for the time being let's say I am ozzie :) So I am 32, and I am currently a size of 40G (UK sizing for my only wearable T-shirt bras), 20F (AUS sizing) and 18E (for my sports bra) -it makes no sense I know but these are my actual and honest sizes...CRAAZZZZYYYYYY. My sports bra fits me just about - I actually fall out of it on the sides so I wear it with a sports top and Tshirt - I will post photos later on the week. However, I have no choice,the largest size of sports bra is 18E. And I looooooovveeeee doing sports! Sports have always been a part of my life and even thought I always had big breasts I never gave up doing sports. I can no longer sprint, run but I still jog (1x year I take part in a 14km jog-walk uphill, downhill and do a reasonable time) I used to do waterpolo (was in team until ...well until my breast started to hold me back) I used to compete in rowing (yep...ballett was never for me) and kayak. I was part of a swimming team and used to be able to swim 5kms non stop - now I can only manage 1 as my breasts are sllloooooooooowing me down. My freestyle is still good but my breaststroke is quite a sight - the wrong way. I still swim but I am a looooot moooore self-consnious and try to cover myself the best I can getting into the water. I have no reservations in the water. I even did my scuba driver qualification last year (yep with 40G) and my instructor was amazed at my amazing bouyancy. Yeah right- I look like a whale, I swim like a whale, I feel like a whale - I must have been a whale....But I want to go back being a dolphin..

I want small breasts. I dont just want smaller breasts - I want small breast. So small they do not draw any attention. None. I want breast smallest closest to being flat chested. I know I will not be able to breastfeed and I understand that when I have a baby (want 1-2years after BR) my breast will sag and will never look the same - but then I will get them done -again.

I want D or C. I know I would cry my heart out with a DD or an E as I would keep thinking all this money (I have to pay all this out of pocket!) and pain (not too bothered, I usually have a high pain tolerance) for an E? But I am being optimistic.
I know the despite me going to the gym AT LEAST 4 TIMES A WEEK (1x pilates, 2x cardio classes +1 turbo cardio combined with core strength - that is my basic weekly routine) my breasts will not shrink. In fact they have leaving excess skin behind :(

So this is my start line, now my life beings...

OK....well had my first consult with a surgeon here in Sydney. It was Dr P,who is based in one of the south suburbs and I walked away with mixed feelings.

He certainly came across very experienced and very confident -overly confident in my eyes to be frank. I am not judging his expertise and skills but I am not 100% sure he is the surgeon for me. He talked over me - several times, not letting me finish my sentence or line of thought - obviously he must have heard stories like mine before yet I think it just comes with the job that he would have to be a good listener. Little things like, when the photograpghed me he did not explain where he intends to use those photographs (I know he needs it for the file etc yet he should have said a few words) and when I asked him to give me an estimate of what my anticipated outcome would be, he simply answered "I don't guarantee cup sizes as there is no uniform sizing and it is misleading" I probed him just for an estimate and he came across defensive already talking about "I cannot guarantee" but kept on explaining he can do this, he has done that, he does soooo much of these etc. He talked about other patients as well (!) of course not disclosing a name but told me a story about a 15year old girl he did breast reduction on as per the request of the mother, he talked about a lady having had his procedure and then losing 35kgs etc etc..Yes he went through his checklist and talked 15mins about the procedure in general - stuff I can read up on but did not mention anything about preparation. Did not mention anything about what to use for scarring. Did not mention anything along the lines of "well maybe purchasing an extra support pillow might be a good idea" However, questions I have asked were answered -all very positive "nothing to worry about this is going to be all fine and is going to change my life I will be soooooo happy"..I walked out feeling I have just attended a sales show for a new vacuum cleaner..

Cost? Even with Medicare (the government funded medical service) assistance I was qouted a surgery cost of about 12000AUD. 5400AUD for surgeon fee, 2500AUD for hospital accommodation, 4000 for theathre fees plus 125 for pathology and 75 for an after op bra which the doctor did not recommend but leaves up to me to figure out what and what size I buy....INTERESTING...
However, I have to add the price range is about right. I do anticipate the procedure to cost as much as a small car ...
However,his practice seems to be busy - the earliest date when he could do my surgery is mid July..
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Overall:I think he can do the job and do it well, however I am going to visit 2 more surgeons before I commit to a surgery so that I can make a choice based on where would I feel safer, better...

Surgeon nr2.
So after my "sales show" with Dr1 I decided to join a waiting list for a consultation with a PS recommended by my GP. It was a long wait - I reserved my spot on the 20MAY with the option of "jumping in" which means I am willing to take a spot within 12hrs if it becomes available - not a big issue cos the PS office was close (2kms) to the office I work from during the day. So I was minding my phone all day long - something I never do - hoping it rings and I get told a gap has just come up and I could take the spot. Did not happen. I had to wait until 12JUN for my appointment.
By then I had plenty of time to think about Dr1 - replay the session in my memory, and really (REALLY) evaluate what I have heard, felt etc. So going into consultation with Dr2 I had a strategy :) I decided I am not going to say much let Dr2 do the talking so that I can observe whether Dr2 is doing sales stuff or not. I also had a fair amount of reservation about Dr2 due to 2 reasons 1, Reeeealllly long waiting time just for the consult made me think Dr2 was far tooooo busy 2, Dr2 was female. Now..please don't get this the wrong way but my gyna is male, my dentist is male, my GP is male etc etc..I was really weary about the prospect of talking about my breasts to a female surgeon. But I thought I give it a go cos one can just never know what's life surprise for one.

Dr2 was AMAZING! Surprise 1 was that she was only about 5years older than me - communication was not a poblem - when talking to her it felt I am talking to a long seen girlfriend of mine. And I didnt have to say a lot - she read my GP's referral calling my GP by his first name "Let's see what is Mike (name changed) is writing here...how did he manage to get this on paper" I couldn't stop but laugh because my GP's attempt to writing the referral was quite comical (poor guy also in his late 30s he turned a bit red when having to write it ) - She- Doctor2 was great and we looked at eachother smiling reading eachother thoughts like "that is that then" :)
Doctor2 explained the procedure -and I tried my best to look extremely interested and eager like I have never heard it before :) the risks etc but in a lot more freefall manner - I did not feel I was listening to a recording which was a bit the impression I got with Doctor1. She was very emphatic and very understanding to my situation - both to the physical and the physiological impact of having such HUUUGE BREASTS as I am . She was the 1st person -aside my therapsit and my family from years back - I could confide and share a burden that has been very have on me for more than 15years - that when I was 19 I became a r!!e victim and the pure reason for the attack was my breast size..It took me years to recover from that and I am still bearing the physiological scars (will never go away) I couldn't tell this to doctor1 - and I dont think it is medically important information to disclose. With Doctor2 it just came out of me - I did not intend to disclose it . Doctor2 was very understanding, very emphatic and very supportive. I loved her communication style - I loved how she was brave enough to touch her own breast (! OMG she is flat chested after nursing 3 kids!!!! Damn I hate genetics!) and show the incisions (of course over her Tshirt!) on how it would look on her - understanding I would feel shaken by a stranger touching my breasts- even thought I hate my breasts. Nevertheless for me to see a surgeon touching her own body during a consultation is a very very unusual (soooo out of the cultural behavioural norm we anticipate when attending a consulation). She was very kind and she was seeing the emotional turnmoil I went through during the consultation so she said she will not take photos this time around - only if I do decide to go ahead with the procedure and choose her to perform it which she would be obliged to do as her passion is reconstructive surgery. We also spent about 10mins "playing" a measure of my breast. She inspected them and was taken aback by their sheer size - being very nice but also feeling sorry for me - in a very nice and compessionate way. She confirmed my thoughts that no matter how much exercise I do (I am still keeping to my 4x a week cardio-core-strength training in the gym!) I will not be able to reduce my breast size- as it is 95% tissue! She said she has never seen such a heavy breast like mine (wow I am nr1 in something!) and it seems to be nothing but tissue which is very unusual. She pulled out some BA implants and tried to weight my right breast (which is a bit heavier) in one hand towards her other with the BA implants. After about half a minute weighting she said she is quiet sure my right breast is about 3.20kgs (7.5lbs) and my lefty about 3kgs (6.6lbs) - about the weight I "measured" them once using cooking rice a balancing item..So I am carrying 6kgs on my front! And doing sports with that! She also asked if I have any other health issue aside from the obvious - I have a huge knot on my neck and deep dents on my shoulders, and I have remembered that I was diagnosed with a tiny tear on my right hipbone - sports doc said it could be either due to me doing professional roving when I was a kid or from weight - well it adds up - weight in my right breast is more than on my left and it seems my hip is not coping on the right..Gosh I am only 32 and fit and active! WHHHHYYYY???
But back on topic Dr2 - she was a start! I loved her being a bit disorganised when looking for her pre and post op photos on her PC - I also suck when it comes to organizing my documents digitally . I loved to hear that she does a lot of surgery on kids and young adults - not for cosmetic but for reconstructive reasons. I loved to hear that she believes in being accessible for her patients - she mentioned she anticipates me to give her a call every 2hrs if I get the nerves after the surgery as well as have at least 2 more consultations prior to the Ops. She came across as the doctor who would hold my hand, strike my hear and sing me a lullaby :) She is an absolulte gem.
But there is a problem. She only operates at 2 hospitals in SYD - that is for adults - for kids she works Public as well. but for adults only private (means no finance from Medicare which the MediAid in US or NHS in the UK) And one out of the 2 private hospitals is the MOST EXPENSIVE Private hospital in SYDNEY - if not in the whole of Australia. The 2nd hospital is in the more affordable range but it hasn't got a good reputation and is hard to get to - the whole headache. :((( This 2nd hospital is also very small and not very flexible (once a surgery date is booked it cannot be amended). This really dampened my spirits -nevertheless I was hoping that the qoute will be still something that fits my budget.
So I was hoping and waiting for the last week...and the numbers are in.

Photos...
Looking as it is now - AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL despite all the exercising I am doing!

The number crunching
So the numbers. Time for me to share an overview of how things work in Australia – cost wise.
First of all reduction mammaplasty is NOT PAID IN FULL by the public health insurance –MEDICARE. Medicare does list this as an APPROVED procedure (has a so-called ITEM NR) for REIMBURSEMENT but it only means a mere 900AUD contribution to the surgeon’s fee and a 250AUD contribution to the anasthesist’s fee. Theathre fee, accommodation, pathology, pre-post op medications, materials used would have to be paid for by the patient if the patient is going via the PRIVATE route using a Private Health Insurer or paying it all out of pocket.

Alternative is to go PUBLIC which means 2 challenges: first of finding a surgeon who is willing to do it via the PUBLIC funding system (almost impossible in SYD) and secondly the WAITING LIST. As it is an elective surgery it is low priority on the public list – the current waiting time is 2years (!) but I know of a lady who has been waiting for almost 3.5years now – poor sould has no chance going PRIVATE to speed things up :((((((

I pay a very expensive private health insurance cover (costs me 120AUD a month!) but unfortunately my visa status has changed beginning of May this year and because of this I had to change my health cover (loong story and this is not about immigration but in a nutshell: I was paying for the TOPpackage for my visa in the last 4years but as my visa has changed now I had to enter into a new contract with the insurer selecting again the top cover and paying it upfront till the end of this year). However, because I CHANGED my insurance company is citing the “Change clause” which says that in case of a “change or new conract” the restriction of pre-existing condition apply and there is a waiting period for hospital coverage. Waiting period of 12months. Ending 2013MAY for me. So either I wait (NO NO NO NO) or I pay all out of my pocket.

I am going with the 2nd – no doubt.

However, I do have a tight budget (I am trying to buy a property at the same time so need every penny for the deposit) of 12000AUD max.
I had to do some number crunching and detailed evaluation of qoutes. – and I am going to be exact so that it serves as a reference to others in Australia considering the same.

Component1
Surgeon1 qouted 5400AUD for his fee (includes limitless nr of consulation in the first 6weeks post op) and 1450AUD for anesthesit’s fee, from this Medicare will reimburse 990AUD (of the surgeon’s fee) and 280AUD (of the anesthesit’s fee) (FUN NUMBERS ARENT THEY?). My out of pocket amount for this component would be a little bit over 5500AUD.
Surgeon2 qouted 6300 for her fee (also includes consultation for the first 6weeks post op) and 1800 for anesthesit’s fee, with the same reimbursement due from Medicare my out of pocket amount for this component would be little bit over 6800AUD.

And now for the hospital accommodation and theathre fees – component 2
Surgeon1 - He operates at a good quality Private hospital near where I live and just 2 blocks away from his office – if any issues help is at 10min cabride from home . This hospital qouted me approx 2900AUD for theathre fee and a nightly accommodation fee of 955AUD (PER NIGHT!). With the reduction I am in for both surgeons recommend a hospital stay of at least 2 nights – until drains are removed.2 nights takes me to approx 1900AUD at this hospital. The whole package would cost just below 12000 with surgeon1 and this hospital.
Surgeon2 – She operates at the most expensive private hospital in SYDNEY and the combined qoute (component1 and 2) was 19000AUD for 1 night stay. Way over what I can afford. Surgeon2’s 2nd qoute for the cheaper hospital was 12500AUD for 1 night stay. Adding 1 more night stay onto it –to ensure fair comparision base- the cost is 13480AUD (yep 1 night hospital accommodation costs 980AUD in SYD – the MOST EXPENSIVE “HOTEL” STAY I ever heard of). This hospital is old, difficult to get to, not of a good reputation, very small and has some outdated facilities –older rooms etc-.

Those are the figures as of Jun 2012, SYD, NSW, Australia

So these are the numbers. As you can image I faced a reallly long and difficult deliberation process trying to decide between surgeon1 and surgeon2. I looked at the numbers and considering soft factors as well
Factors
1.Experience of surgeon: with my condition I know I am in for complications therefore safety and experience I put on top of my list
2.Hospital facilities and accessibility: being safe and reliable and good quality for the price
3.Flexibility: How difficult it is to get an appointment with the surgeon, what might happen if I have to postpone the surgery (I am travelling to a tropical country in the coming weeks and every time I visit this country I end up being sick –so need to factor in that I might have to spend 1week or 2 just getting back to my normal health prior to surgery)
4.Cost
5.Surgeon’s communication skill,interpersonal skills: Does it feel nice when talking to the surgeon? Do I want the surgeon to have small talk with me?. Do I want the surgeon to comfort me or just want the surgeon to get on with the job and do it the best possible?
6.Post op support offered: would I have to pay for post op appointment. Can I pop in and be seen straight away if I am worried – I am going through this completely on my own!
7.Clerical staff: are they comptent, do they behave professionally, do they work fast, are they nice, friendly to talk to or just look at me as an ITEM a source of income.

So what did I come to?
Surgeon1 scores high on expertise (he has done at least 5dozen of my size!) and hospital facilities and on Clerical staff (he has 2 assistants who are very nice and efficient got the qoute to me in 1 day). The hospital of his choice is also closer, has better facilities, and is more affordable.
Surgeon2 scores high on flexibility and communication skills but low on hospital facilities and on cost. Surgeon2 is also more experienced in children’s reconstructive surgery (cleft lip and palate) and whilst has done a fair number of BR (about 2 dozen all together) only just a few dealing with my size.

Therefore with a heavy heart – I really liked surgeon2- I had to part my rational and emotional factors and focus on the rational ones – and choose the surgeon who has the more expertise and the better qoute.

I am going with surgeon1.

Even thought I feel he is a bit more “robotic” in his style of communication, I am though girl – not going to cry crocodile tears if he doesn’t sing me a lullaby (I have weathered more severe storms in my life) but he has the expertise and the hospital suiting my needs so I have to go with him. The better affordabilty at this hospital means that in case I need to stay an extra night (3nights) I will not have to worry about how I will find the money for it – still fits into the amount I would have to pay with Surgeon2. I know this is a very minor point however I feel that these 2 factors (expertise and hospital costs) are deciding in my case hence I am following my rational brain – not my emotional.

I will definately stay in touch with surgeon2 and go back to her after my surgery and keep her posted on the progress – or pitfalls- and express my gratitude for her amazing interpersonal skills. I cannot speak more highly of her– if you are in the same shoes in SYD drop me a note and I will share her name – but unfortunately stars just don’t align for me to go with her :(If I had smaller breasts to reduce I would definately go with her – and might choose her for any follow up work.

So where next?
I am booked for a pre-op consultation with surgeon1 on the 3AUG (2weeks after I am back from my business trip from the tropical 3rd world country) and have set the wheels in motion for a surgery date of 29th AUG.
29th AUG happened to be a date he recommended – him not knowing this date is already of great significance to me anyway. Seems fate that wants me to have my morphing from a freak-of-nature to LADY this day. 29th AUG that is it.
Wish me luck please

Just updated my photos - I don't want to upset you lovely ladies with the naked truth - I think these 2 photos show enough....

As I am now a step closer to having my surgery -guess what I am still deliberating whether I have made the right chose with the surgeon as my rational brain tells me yes, my emotional says no..But as I am a step closer I thought I just list a few things I am definately not going to miss when I get my nice smaller MUUUUCH SMALLER breasts.
I try to keep this on the lighter side of things - and not include the obvious and very common health issues (back, neck pain, numbness in hands etc) feel free to laugh if you recognise your thoughts :)

What will I not miss by having MUUUUCH SMALLER boobs :)

1. Falling down stairs just because I cannot watch my step- as I cannot see my feet!!!
2. Having to buy size 24tops even though I very size 16pants
3. Having to buy bras that are big enough to be worn as a winter hat!
4. Having to fend off the "oh you are a BBW hhhmmmm I like that.." looks from guys
5. Having to make looooads of eye contact with people to ensure they look at my face
6. Having to wear a swimsuit with built in bra
7. Having the foodtray table poking by breast during meal serve on a flight
8. Having to pack an extra T-shirt for any flight I take just because I drop food and ends up on my chest. i am not a pig, and I am grown up female but when the tray is so low it is difficult to see the food i have to put on my fork/spoon...yep you guessed it cos my breasts are obscuring the view!
9. Not being able to paint my toenails without having to rearrange, shuffle my breast aside
10. Not being intimidated of taking my bra off in front of my boyfriend!

So far I have 10 - I will think and try to add more - of course any experiences, suggestions are most welcomed and we can come up with a combined list

New list :) ( I love lists -can you tell?)

Things that I cannot wait to start doing AFTER MY SURGERY

1. Going to a horse farm and learning to ride a horse
2. Riding a camel on the beach by sunset
3. Buying a pushbike and start cycling again
4. Finish my professional diver certification
5. Enroll in a dance class and learn to dance
6. Get my karate black belt
7. Complete a 5day hike in the Kimberley region without having to worry about how am I going to have enough good quality sportsbras
8. do a helicopter jump - okay I will wait 2 years with this:)

No paper no paper no paper :(
I have hit a roadblock this week :( No paperwork came through in post :( I agreed to the surgery and the dates of the 2nd consult and the planned Op day last week - Last Thursday to be exact and the Surgeon's Admin promised to send the documents in mail the same day....One week gone by and nothing arrived yet. Without the pack I cannot start making payments for the procedure or book hospital bed etc :( I am flying out of the country for 3 weeks this weekend - might have to postpone the surgery - with a 1 month...TOPS

Back and ready to go!

Whoa, I am back in the country and ready to go with the surgery.
The doc has scheduled me in for end of the month, but I am a bit weary about the date - and I ain't going to mock around here with the words we are all girls....the day of my period. I did tell him that the day he picked is not ideal and I told him about the reason but he said it is not an issue for him. Oooookaaayyy....but it might be an issue for me as I can have either a very nice or a very bad period. A bad one is the one with the vomitting and temperature and migrane..so it could be really bad...So I will have to postpone it by a week...

Nevertheless, I have scheduled a Pre-Op consult for this week, just need to get my list of questions together...I want to ask more about the recovery - the do's and dont's ...any thoughts?
Sorted my finances as well, ready to go :)

work work work...I knew work will be an issue...as it stands I can only a week off from work (desk job so really should be fineeee) but will have to turn my HATED Blackberry back on after 5days....phew...that means stress..that makes me worried.....

Had my 2nd preop consult with the doc. I think it went better than the 1st one - I was less shy this time around. I went prepared with a list of questions and doc was kind enough to answer all of them. But he is definately not the type who would sing you a lullaby..:)
I am still cool with that as long as he gives me what I want. The smallest achievable breasts whilst minimizing the risk of complications - which in my case is aint easy. I am currently size GG and from here anything is better...

We agreed to aim for D/DD cup size, but I am not going to cry crocodile tears if I end up as an E either - as long as there are no complications. He said he wants to avoid doing a free nipple graft and I second that. However, he has warned me tha he might have to decide on doing FNG in the course of the the operation...I told him I am okay with that as long as the outcome is safe and as healthy as can be.

Now my wait period begins (no real wait for me as I have a flat move to complete next week)and I have to take extra care of my health. Not allowed to get a cold (phew..it is WINTER in SYD!) not allowed to get a sore throat (I always have a sore throat!) etc etc...I will be going to see my GP next week - just to keep him posted on what is happening...I also have to complete the paperwork for the hospital, and of course pay all fees..But I am on track!

I am so happy and proud of myself ..I don't want to sound big headed, but even getting as far as researching the procedure, making up my mind about having it, then going for consultations and actually deciding and going through with it - it is a big thing for me..I am very happy and very proud...I am growing up, Joker :)

Wow wow wow....so I am down to 7days to go....cannot wait!

less than 5 days to go and nerves are kicking in....
I am sooooo worried I miss something from my pre op preparation/shopping list....I am worried that I am going to come down with a cold in the next 24hrs - SYD weather is just changing from winter to spring and as I have to give up my trusted multivitamin I am soooooo likely to get a cold ...

But focusing on the good stuff. I made all of my payments, that is 1500AUD to anaesthist, 5500 for surgeon and an other 5000 for the private hospital I will be staying at for 2 nights. Got a hotel booked for 3nights - just in case I wouldnt feel comfortable at my new place, so I am as prepared as could be...yet I am nervous that I forgot something...Got cleaning and washing done for 1.5weeks, got shopping done for 1 week and have rearranged my cupboard and my bathroom so that everything is at waist level..Got clothes ready but I have realized aside from my PJs I havent got any button up tops.. no surprise as I cannot wear any today! Need to hit the shops and buy at least 2 or 3 oversized button up shirts ...
oh dear ...what am I forgetting?

Pre surgery nerves...full on...I know I should not be , yet..I am scared..scared that I will show up at the hospital in the morning ready to go ...sneeze and they cancel on me.....I hate winter...

Nerves...nerves..nerves..
Nerves are definately hitting me tonight...I did not think I would be nervous but I gotta admint I am. I am more excited than nervous - and I think that is good but I am nervous....I am not worried about the op itself I still think that is for the surgeon to handle - he better not be nervous damn right!- I am worried about anasthesia...I am worried about how my breast will look like...I am worried whether I will like them or not..Whilst I am determined that I am doing this more for functional reasons - neckpain, and the whole lot, rather than cosmetics I cannot help but wonder now - this will change the way I look. Drastically...and quickly...and it cannot be reversed..it is not like a botched hairdo....I have never had a change like this before. I am sooo used to looking at the mirror and seeing big stuff on my front...how will I look without it? I am so used to not getting photographed neck below what now? I am so used to shy away from people touching my shoulder - what now? How will it feel when I shower? How will it look when I have to present myself to a boyfriend on the dawn of a magical night? And why am I doing this to my body? Am I entitled to have someone cut into my flesh just to take something off - I AM I AM I AM cos it is either now whilst I am still healhy or 3years on when I can no longer turn my neck and my breast tissue is dying off due to veins not reaching below my belly button...I know I am doing the right thing yet I am nervous...My Mum is nervous and that makes me nervous...and she is 15000kms away - yep half a world away in the UK.oh bugger...I still have 3 hours left from my fasting period - I am grabbing an other TimTam :)

Ok ladies. Surgery happened. Doc gave me the numbers.Hold on to your hats!!!!! From the smaller left he removed 2100 grams!! From the bigger right he removed 2560 something grams. And still reckons I will be a d or dd. Omg. I did know each is about is 3 kgs. But still. I have drains. Collecting some blood but not much. And getting injections against clotting. Not in much pain but no painless either. Breating does hurt a little bit on my sides but not worse then a broken rib. Doc said he didnt have to do free nipple graft!!!

Ok. So day after surgery. Feeling okay. Chest still hurts a bit no wonder. Part of the bondage I was given is cast. Damn no peaking at all .my right is going ro be the problem one. I can not lift my right arm as much as the left. Right side hurts more. That was larger so itmakes sense. Also my right hand is swollen. They don't know why telling me it is not a bloodcot I shouldn't worry. But I do. I have been up and walking. Sitting upright for 3 hours. I only took 1 pamadol today but will take one more for the evening. Hats off to my anaesthetist. I had no sore throat no dry mouth no nausea nothing. I felt just Like any morning. There is still blood in My drains. No wonder. Doc corrected me today morning. He removed 2760grams from the right not 2560. Said he sent a bucket to pathology. I would have loved to see that bucket! So I still don't know much have no clue what is under the dressing or cast. But I try to stay optimistic. Even thoght I canno hide my cold anymore but taking antibiotcs so that should help.

Day2 morning. Freaking out. I have allergic skin rash ro the painkiller they gave me and my hand is still swilling. Plus I stil caanot situp without assistance. Once up no issues but gettin there is a nightmare. This I was not ready for. l

So. Once I am up and sitting I am cool and the world is beautiful but it is a nightmare to get there. I so did not factor this in. I haven't got anyone to help me sit up in bed at home. I should have tied a scarf to the end of my bed to help me. A bit late now. Not sure about my recliner either. Even microwawe is to high. Oh no I am in huge post op stress.

Phew. Things happen fast. Got my drains out. Doc is very happy with the results. He says given the size he anticipated a worse result but he is happy. I am relieved. I was too scared to shower so had a nurse help me do a wash down. A male nurse. And then he helped me into my post op bra. Awkward. My bra is 40 c or d I don't fill it out right now. Now that is a miracle ! Going from h to d.... I am amazed. I can feel my stiches a lot. Will have to find some padding. I am staying 1 more night in hospital as I am a bit scared to go home on my own just now. One night without the drains will help me settle my nerves. I feel very lucky today. Thank you for all your prayers sisters much appreciated.

Sept1 Post surgery day3. Saturday. Surgery was on Wednesday morning..
So I was discharged from hospital today - which is good but scary at the same time...I am on my own now.. I still rely on pain relief which is a very new expericence for me but one gotta do what gotta be done. Aside from panadol I am only taking antibiotics as I am so scared I will have an infection...that sore throat-cold is still bugging me.
Drive home was bad - even though cab driver was driving slow and everything it did wear me out. Got into bed as soon as I got settled. My incisions still hurt, they are big..Swelling on my hand has gone down -thanks God, but the place of IVs still hurt--hurt just as a bad as my incisions. If all goes fine I am only seeing my surgeon next Thursday but I think I will go back to him before that--because I worry a lot..I am still scared about doing the bandages, have had an attempt at them but didnt turn out well so I need to figure that out. I am also scared to take a proper shower so I am doing it in 2 parts..waist down as part1 no issues...waist up I am doing a wash down instead...that is my challenge for tomorrow- to have a proper shower...damn my hair does need washing...

Ladies, I am just at the start of the 2nd phase of this road but I am hoping it is not going to be bumpy one. I am an active person and being this pasive drives me nuts. For those of you who are travelling with me right now THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT and for those who will follow me GO FOR IT AND YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT! THis is has been a major decision in my life, a fantastic decision and despite the roadblocks ahead I would not go back!
I will write a bit more about my surgery and my surgeon soon, but now some - scary- photos for you

OK so bit more about surgery.
Surgery was 29th Aug, morning. I have left for the hospital at 615am..got there on time 630. 7am they had my paperwork sorted and I had my discussion with the pre surgery nurse. Got put into a bed straight away, hospital gown the whole lot. I was super nervous, anxious was worried I might have a mini anxiety attack but tried to keep my nerves down with the help of my ipod. 730 my anaesthetist came to see me. He was amazing! I have not met him before all I knew was his name so you can image how nervous I was - but he was super nice. I told him all the problem I had with anaesthesia about8years ago - sore throat, mouth dry as paper, vomitting the whole drama. he was super nice and told me that my prev anaesthesia might have been done wrong. He told me he is going to use a smaller tube and will also lubricate that to make sure I dont any issues. and he did! I had an amazing wakening just like on a saturday morning. no vomitting, no sore throat, not even a headache...he was a miracle worker.
So around 745 they took me to the holding bay and at 8 they took me to the operating theathre waiting room itself. my surgeon was just finishing an other operation - someting much smaller and I could listen in him joking and chatting..very different to what is usually like. Anaesthetist's assistant came and had a small chat with me then around 830 my surgeon came and said he is going to get started on me in 10mins, so now he is going to draw on me....whoa..not wasting any minute ah? so I stood up and he started marking and chatting chatting chatting. he told me not to worry he is not worried so it will be fine and even thought my case is a big reduction he says he will have no issues. Once again he did remark how big my breast are. He mentionedbefore with all symphathy that he admires me for having been able to carry my breast around as he would not have been able to handle this huge weight he said. and he made a similar remark now. He also said he learnt his trade from his father. Who is not a plastic surgeon but a builder. What? That sounds intersting - then he continued- Measure twice, cut once. I seconded that so we agreed he measures again. he did and then he had to call for help. He called in the anaeshetist to help him lifting my right breast - he was saying it is so heavy he just cannot make the right markings cos he cant hold the breast up.Geeeeeeee..2 men job..but he got it done in seconds and told the anaesthetist to get me ready...and I wanted a break...being so nervous I had to go to the loo again...so I asked...then surgeon was joking "Nurse, please go with her to the loo I dont want her to run away" hahahahaa...I had no intention of doing that I was no longer scared more resigned.I did not want to look at my breast so I have no idea how the markings looked like...didnt want any photographs either even thought I know the doc took some..he said he documents all of his operations so I know he has some ...so I went back and anaesthetist has prepped 2 IV veins in a blink of an eye then I was wheeled into OR then climbed across to the table and then...I freaking have no clue..I have not spent more than 30secs on the OR table I was out...I have not seen the anaesthetist next to me but he must have been putting something into my IV - I have not seen a thing! I have not seen my surgeon, not seen a tool..not a soul...weird....
Next thing I remember waking up in the holding bay, answering 3 questions then being wheeled again and then I am in my room..I wake up get out of bed - with help. A bit dizzy and hell have no idea why I dont feel my breast below my belly button..then I realize..oh he has done it...he has indeed done it...releived glad...back to bed to rest..

Posted 2 scary photos...

Update..I know it might sound too fancy or overdoing stuff but because I live on my own and have no support at all. this is scaring the hell out of me and I dont want to get a full blown anxiety attack because of that .I decided to hire a lady who needs some extra cash to pay off her credit card debt to help me do stuff. She will come in for 1 hr in the morning and 1hr in the evening, help me with my wound dress change, help with cleaning, help with laundry and help with cooking..She has a nursing background so can calm my nerves when it comes to me freaking out about my healing process. It sounds to be a Win win - I get the help and supervision of a granny for a small fee and she gets to pay off her credit card debt...

unplanned complication...I am developing insomnia...I know everything is as fine as it should be yet I am scared and anxious and cannot sleep. I had no issues sleeping at the hospital yet now when I feel just as fine as in the hospital I cannot sleep because of my nerves...at about 11pm and I am wide awake despite watching 2 boring B class movies...- one was kindergarten cop from the 80s...I am becoming insomniac...might just collapse and sleep through the day.....not good not good

2SEP, day4 after op.
Sleeping - i keep waking up every 2 hours for no apparent reason but get some water and then go back to sleep for an other 2 hours. I am sleeping in my old bed with my usual pillows - I dont feel I would need extra pillows. My old bed is high anyway so that keeps me decently elevated.
I took my last panadol at 430am and now it is lunchtime so I think I am doing good pain wise..
Had my late breakfast, and a slow start to the day and had a shower...handheld shower head is a God Send- I am so glad I could arrange for that to be installed in my new apartment just 1 day prior to surgery. It is definately paying off now. I still shower in 2 stages.waist down, no issues and waist up very very very careful. I still use antibacterial soap even though doc said I can use whatever shower stuff I had before but I am anxious of getting a rash or something so I am sticking with the medical antibacterial soap they wanted me to use prior to surgery. cannot be bad. I am also very methodical with showering and getting dry after that. I dont know how you ladies did it but I find covering my breast with the towel and soaking things up works the best..I use one towel for each breast and a different towel for waist down....damn there is going to be a lot of laundry..I also use cotton pads to gather the water from under my incisions..a towel isjust to scary..
Then I apply the bandages - badly I have to say..and dry my back the best I can..then put on the bra..and cushion the bottom of it with Libra liners - they have an awesome shape.just what it is needed...
and of course all the handwashing..before touching my breast..after touching my breast.all the time.my hands are already dry from all the washing....


I can see now that Lefty is going to be the problem child...I have no clue why as righty has seen the bigger reduction (that was 2700grams) but I am concerned about that brownish something around my nipple on lefty.I will go back to the surgeon with that on Monday..Aside from that colouring I cannot see anything worrysome - which is a worry for me...
There are more photos for you all :)

oops forgot to add..I know my nipples are not alligned but I don't care..they werent alligned before and I simply couldnt care less about aesthetics. If that is the price I am paying for getting rid of all this weight then that is a very cheap price! I cannot believe how good that purple top looks on me now - that is one of my favs. and I still overall cannot belive that I ALMOST LOOK LIKE I am Flat chested. which I am not of course but in comparison to where I was it looks like so..I am beyond myself with joy on how this will change my life.I cannot wait to be through with recovery and go and buy a pushbike and ride again - something I havent done for 6years cos my breast was too heavy..I stil havent had a big celebration yet, I am waiting until I am through with all then I will let my hair down. But for now I just badly need to go to hairdresser to have my hair washed and dried...so I am going to take a bit of a walk..about 700metres...should be fine...

Burning question. Is the post op bra supposed to be a relaxed fit or more a snuggish fit? I have been wearing a very loose fit for the last 2 days keeps moving up and down on my back and front and is ain't giving much support. I checked the label and it said 105uk but 110-115in french measuring. I used to be 20uk have no clue what that converts to. But I have a 2nd bra which I tried on now and it fits snuggish. It's label says Uk 100but 105 French. This one does not rub on my incisions doesn't move up and down on my back and feels a more snuggish fit in the front. Cupsize is the same. Which is the right one? Help Ps I just measured myself and is 104cm. But ia that English or French? Damn this is hard.

I think I have the answer. 105 French converts to Uk 40 which is my standard size. Plus thus one does not move up and down on my back but stays firm. Gee. 2 days it took to figure it out. What a nightmare I am.

Whoooaaa..things are falling to place!
I slept through the night without painkiller for the first time since my op! Whooaaa! In fact I only took 3 painkillers yesterday -Sunday 2 SEP-and the last at around 6pm and could sleep with no pain....that must be a good sign!
But I woke up with my arm over my head - bad habit- damn realized it aint good so had to readjust posture...Pain level seems to be reducing too fast - LOL next time I find myself on my sides...not surely cant be good. I am not even 5days post op.

Still keeping up antibiotics and the brownish thing is still worrying me but I am not really stressed. I am very happy with what I got and just cannot wait to reach my usual level of activity soon.
Changing the bra helps! Damn I had no idea I was wearing the wrong until I did start to think that its rubbing up and down on my back aint good. I had to readjust that bra several times a day both on the back and the front and did not feel it was giving me any hold at all. the one 1 size smaller doesnt rub on my back, stays firm horizontal and it is a bit tighther so I feel supported by it...Definately double checking this with my surgeon today but one thing is for sure..I must get fitted into any new bra I will buy from now on. I am not sure ladies if you experienced this yourself? Did you ask for help when going bra shopping first or just went with the trial and error approach.

So so far so good, I am hoping my luck will hold out!

LOL my surgeon is definately a surgeon and not a people's person...Don't get me wrong I wanted the best surgeon and I am confident I got it but geeeeee he is really at unease when dealing with people...

Gave him a call today morning about that browness around my nipple and his first sentence was "Surgically it was all fine on Friday" Damn -that much compassion wow I am speechless..I told him that "Well Friday morning was 72+ hours ago and I dont know what is going on but it is unusual so I think you better have a look at it " He understood my point and I guess he was worried he might loose his amazing track record claim that he has never lost a nipple so we agreed I will pop by to his office. I did so and he did check me out and reassured me it is going to be fine that browness is more reddish and it is the sign of a bit of internal bleeding which is a good sign that the nipple is alive and all that...but he was sooooo uncomfortable throughout the process one could observe him as very very shy when talking to people, bearly having the courage to look into their eyes..

Nothing wrong with his work in fact he is known to be the best in South Sydney - the wife of a friend of mine who worked at the hospital told me that he is indeed the one who is the best operating surgeon- but dear Lord his people skills are nowhere close to his surgical skills. :) He is definately more the surgeon than the patient hugging doctor which is all good for me ! I also realized today what I sensed at my 1st consult. He is aint a plastic surgeon who runs a boutique operation and is kinda on the hunt for cases cos he hasnt got enough clients. He is running a FACTORY! His practice is soooooooooo busy - there were girls at my age, older lades and even grandmas! Not joking a lady today was about 80years old and got some touch up work done on an injury she sustained at a bad fall years ago. He is a busy surgeon with a lot of clients for various reasons but the majority of his work is indeed surgical not cosmetic. He is exactly what I wanted - a surgeon with the skills and tons and tons and tons of experience. I am glad I went with him.

Uploaded 3 more photos...

Okay I am loaded with questions....not concerns but questions

1, After how many days it is okay to start carrying your handbag around again?
2, How many days it is okay to use painkiller? I am 5days post op and now down to 2 or 3 painkillers a day. Shall I cut down to 2 by tomorrow?
3. How many days it is okay to start bio-oil? I will wait for surgeon to tell me but given he is not talkative I appreciate any inputs
4. How many days it is okay to start wearing those promising silicon sheets?
5. Anything one can do against bad scar healing? Surgeon did comment that my scaring looks a bit rough and he wants to check to make sure I dont get kleoids...or something
6. Is it okay not to have any discharge whatsoever? Doc says this is what he anticipates from all of his work but really?
7. When is the most risk for wound breakdown? Is there a period like if I dont have incisions coming apart after let's say 14days I can put my mind at ease that all is joined together for eternity now?
8. Can someone speed up that 6weeks restriction period on exercise - I so badly want to go the gym..Very tempted to do some mild lifting and some pool lenghts of swimming but I am figthing the urge...fighting hard...

Bras...bras....bras..
I have not yet been to the shops to buy some nice bras but I have stocked up on post op bras before my surgery..I recommend for others to do the same, don't just buy 1 bra/crop top for after the surgery buy at least 2 so that you can change! It cannot be fun wearing a stained bra for days just because one has too much pain to go and buy a replacement bra whilst the other is being washed...And not having a clue on where I am going to end up I did buy several ones. I also found it is IMPOSSIBLE to try on these post op bras to help decide what will fit prior to surgery - I think that is no wonder.
So I stocked up with 4 bras - preparing for a lot of discharge and not being able to do laundry for days....and then I am here with no discharge whatsoever....Prepare for the worst, hope for the best :)

1 is band size XL and cup C-D - this is the one I wore after getting my bandages off and was too big on band size, but fine on cup size
1 is band size L and cup C-D - fits fine on the band and on cup but I do fill it out right now. It is snuggish but not uncomfortably tight.
1 is band size 18 and cup DD - it fits fine on the band and the cup is a tiny bit big. It is still a nice fit but does not feel as snuggish on the cup as the C-D
1 is band size 20 and cup E - this is too big on the cup - yupppiee

so I am inbetween D and DD...very very very happy

Brought an other miracle photograph....:)

and yep there is going to be a phase2
My Surgeon did notice that I have an extra set of tummy - love handles just right below where my breast used to sit and he mentioned that is going to drive me nuts once my breast are done. I had to remind him I am doing this for health reason not for looks and that I am confident that without the breasts holding me back I can loose that weight. Doc agreed but still mentioned he could do 2 in 1 - do the BR and a lipo on that section. I did not want that. I know it can be done but I wanted to make sure I get my breasts done healthy and just as nice as possible and not compromising that recovery with something else. Despite that this handle looks very obvious I am certain I made the right choice. Throughout the last couple of days I have been relying on my core strength and core muscles to help me do things, I cannot image how difficult AND painful these last couple of days could have been if I had had a lipo done on my tummy..I must have struggled. I cannot wait to get back to gym to work on that piece if I dont achive much - doubt it- then I will take up a lipo in Jan-March - Phase 2 :)

one more unforseen "complication"....Showering takes 2hrs! No, not because I am scared or worried or anything...but because I just cannot stop staring at my boobs! Yeah I have boobs! I no longer have breast tissue monsters but real boobs! I get started on my dressing change - no discharge at all but I still do the change and then I start trying on different tops..and whoops time flies...LOL..I cannot help looking at my reflection in the mirror and I have never been able to look at myself even in a shopwindow before! This is truly lifechanging - damn I soooooo should have done it earlier....MUCH EARLIER! :)


ok on more objective matters..healing process..
Righty seems to be very happy, nicely firm, nice nipple sensation, I am getting all the tingling and not much discolouration...
Lefty seems to be a bit more sad,and it is definately bigger, it is firm but not as nice, nipple has sensation but not as happy as righty and I have not yet experienced the tingling sensation in lefty yet..It has a bit a of strech marks and a tiny bit of discolouration ..brownish yellowish bruises..the yellow piece concerns me a tiny bit but as I am on top of my antibiotics and seeing the surgeon in 2days hoping for no dramas but so far lefty seems to be the one needing more TLC..

Okay I think I enterred the phase when not much is happening - so might post less frequently...
Had my 1st day "back at work" yesterday - working from the comfort of home. And I needed that badly. Started working at around 930 and by 6pm I was in so much pain from sitting upright all day long I was slidding down in my very comfy office chair..Just could not be sitting any more...Had to take a Panadol and call it a day. Lesson learnt- despite having a desk job I am not ready to do a full day's work just yet, so I am reducing the hours I am working a little bit now. Aside from that I am doing fine. Slept through the night with no interruptions at all..Boobs still looking nice and no oozing, no extra yellow or red areas, swelling on the left seems to have gone done a tiny bit. I still cannot see incisions coming apart and there is still no bleeding...all my gauze ends up in the bin as clean as I applied them...what a waste :)
I am now 1 week post op as op was last wednesday...Going back to see my surgeon tomorrow - hoping to get clearance at least for using that bike.

I am surprised to report of experiencing back pain. Whilst having big breasts I never felt-recognized back pain but since the Op my back does hurt. It is not bad but I do realize, feeel it..I put it down to the fact that now the weight is gone from my chest and I am indeed concentrating on my posture, pulling my shoulders back and down and so is my body and of course this being a huge adjustment my back is simply not used to it. I will be going back to my chiropractor next week and might ask for a posture aid....now that i have nice boobs I want to walk tall and proud!
I am also a tiny bit concerned that I still have restricted range of movement in my right arm. I can -but rarely do- lift my left arm above my shoulder but can do half of range of movement with my right..I am not lifting anything but using the wall for very mild stretching - something I learnt and got used to from my time of swimming and have been doing every day for the last 15years...
Aside from these two - and that I am soooo scared to shave my underarms it is embarrasing- I am doing good..Oh and my cold is coming back..I hate winter...

OKAY Lefty is definately needs to the doc tomorrow...it is still swollen and is bigger - noticably bigger! than righty ! I am getting worried that my hormones playing up again and just a week after surgery my breasts are growing again..THAT would freak me out! I hope it is just swelling or something that needs to be drained from lefty but it does hurt and it feels like there are lumps in in. Righty is really really nice..very smooth sitting very well and nipple is also very beutiful. Lefty doesnt feel much....makes me worried..

I had my 1st week post op appointment with my surgeon today.
He thinks everything is fine and said he is pleased that things are going this well, he said given the size of reduction I was in for he was anticipating worse.
He removed some stiches, commented that my wounds are bit crusty - pizza, lunchtime?- but reckons it will sort it self out
For Lefty he agrees it is bigger but he is saying nothing wrong seems to be going in there and he would rather wait 2 more weeks until things settle before deciding on poking it. The option of a revision has come up again: 1 reason is lefty being bigger - in case it doesnt settle 2, reason is the little lump that the is leftover from righty in my middle. But we agreed to postpone decision to 6months post op.
He however doesnt allow me to do ANY exercise aside from walking..:((((((((((
I complained to him that he did not tell me about a significant side effect of this surgery. The fact that I am spending 1hour in the bathroom getting ready - 20mins getting ready 40mins staring and admiring the way I look!

Today I have not had any painkillers yet, and I only had to take 1 yesterday because I had to work from 1pm till 11pm..even with the luxury of working from home that is too much in week1..

that is it for now folks...
For those of you at the start of the road I am truly hoping your road will be smooth and effortless and you get the results you wish-want!

Bras bras bras..
I thought that after the surgery I will find it a lot easier to buy bras...I was soooooo wrong!!!! It is much easier just for the size of course but it is still no small feat!
Sooooooooooooo many things to consider...Do I have to get compression bra or just a tight normal bra....Of course no underwire so that is fine but then there is still a huuuuuuuge range...LOL.Going from being able to choose between 2 or 3 models now there is 25different one in just 1 shop! and then there are different colours! OMG I Never had bras in different colour I was glad to find 1 white and 1 black and finding 1 beige meant I hit jackpot...and then I held onto these for a year! Now I can CHOOSE...RED, BLUE, LILAC, GREEN, POLKA DOTS, STRIPES....OMG...and 1 bra is 3rd price of what I used to pay...overwhelming....

have to post this very quickly.....
I CAN NOW WEAR A SWIMMING SUIT WITHOUT INDUSTRIAL BUILT IN! Moreover I can wear a swimming top with no neck hold!! OMG I am beside myself!!!

Shock of the day..OK so I went looking for swimsuits...Always dreamt of something colourful given all of my non-training swimmsuits were black..or black and white..Went to this shop and a BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL patterned colourful very very nice swimsuit grabbed my eye---IT LOOKED PERFECT...and now being confident I have the boobs to wear it I was over the moon...until I looked at the label...which PROUDLY marketed its bust-enchancing feature..................life is cruel :))))))))))))

burning question....how am I supposed to get the ink off? I feel so stupid for not having asked about it before.....

10day post op - some horrible photos remind me I am still not ouf the woods yet..My incisions are horrid, which is what I was kind of anticipating but had no clue this horrid they look...I am not freaking about them but I worry how they will come out eventually..I am okay with big scars as long as they look healed but getting a bit concerned my are still a long way from looking that. I am not massaging it, not taking any supplements,not oiling them, not using strips, not using silocen sheets - doing nothing..doc told me nothing to do about them aside from putting gauze on my nipples daily..not sure if this is meant to be but this is what I got so far...Appreciating your feedback as always..

2 days without antibiotics...here comes the discharge....not a lot - thanks Heavens...in fact barely more than 2 larger drops from each breast so I am not worried..

 

Read Part Two of my story here.