Cutting the String on my Yoyo! - English born living in Sydney, Australia, AU

I'm 61 and I've been yoyo-ing between size 12 and...

I'm 61 and I've been yoyo-ing between size 12 and 18 since I was a teenager. Up and down this same 65lbs about 10 times in all. Every day is a battle and although I've won many days, the only inevitable loss I have at the end, is in the battle.

I've hit 61 and I just can't battle again. I tried the lap band on one down-swing of my yoyo, but I missed eating normally, as in a variety of foods, and mostly, I was always hungry. I had the port removed 5 years ago as it felt uncomfortable on the waistband of everything I wore as I settled on small regular serves of those unhealthy high calorie foods that I could swallow and keep down without vomiting, and in my foolish then slim confidence, thought I'd finally made it. Once band-removed, I devoured all the foods I could not eat while restricted, and although many of them were healthy choices with my volume was unrestricted, and yes, I was still always hungry and I could eat my fill (and that's a lot of food), in a couple of years my 65lbs was back with a vengeance. I lived in misery with it for a year of so before I picked up the yoyo and played again.

I took a year off work using all my accumulated annual, sick and long service leave and went to the gym and pool everyday for a minimum of 2 hours and after 9 months, my enemy, those 65lbs was gone once again. I was 59 and felt fabulous but in true yoyo fashion, I returned to my full time work, and my enemy, those 65lbs were back, within 18 months, without the time to exercise like a woman possessed.

So, I've sat around for 18 months holding 65lbs, reading my scales almost daily, having good days bad days while playing my mini-yoyo game but overall, sitting on those 65lbs.

I've tried them all, weight loss clubs of notable fame, and some dubious tea, grapefruit tablets and prescribed drugs, crash diets and healthy ones, and of course every type of exercise and if wishes and hopes could only keep me slim,I would be as I certainly have had my fill of those.

So, a month or so ago I let the sleeve option enter my thoughts. I've read and read everything I could find, including on this site, and argued with me the rights and wrongs of this chance often and whether I deserve it for failing so often, and at my age, and because insurance does not cover it.

I had to wait a month and a half to meet with the sleeve surgeon and my reactive plan for an immediate surgery date, before I could back out, was suddenly gone. The previous surgeon, who took my band-port out, had chosen to leave the silicon band on my stomach as it was more 'bother' to remove it when it would not restrict me un inflated, and I knew no better. My sleeve surgeon insisted it had to be removed first and then a 2 month break before the sleeve surgery. I took it well I think, but of course, I'm disappointed.

So band removal is set for 22 August, just over 2 weeks away and the sleeve for October 24th, 2014. Now, I'm actually glad for the grounding time so when I do go ahead, it is with a considered time and with informed decision making, and not the rash, rushed choice the day I called to see the sleeve surgeon after the scales numbers refused to drop once again.

I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm most importantly, I'm hopeful that at 61, I can finally cut my yoyo string forever and live a happy healthy life.

7 Comments

So glad you're getting off the yo-yo wagon. I've been right there with you. I lost 50+ lbs 7 yrs ago for my sons wedding with NutriSystem. I've done slim-fast, Medifast,doctor supervised TOPS (take off pounds sensibly), and weight watchers more times than I can count. I'll be 60 in January and I soooo want to get some weight off before then. I'm going to a seminar on Aug. 9th (3 days from now) to get more info, hand in my paperwork and hopefully get on the fast track to surgery since I am doing self pay and won't have to wait for insurance approval.
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Happy with smaller, yes, I feel at 61 every day must count and I'm wasting to many not participating as I could. I have a $5500 contribution here myself and my delay is the band removal op first or I'd be 'done' already. Still, I've something I feel is really positive to look forward to which eases the wait. Look forward to reading more from you!
Best wishes......

Reality check tonight!

Went to my long term personal GP today who didn't know of my sleeve plans and arrangements, and when I said I was likely to do it, he said it was a good choice for me! I also mentioned I had thought about it (only) to a friend over lunch today, and she too said with a warm heart, it would be good for me. Not the responses I expected, and perhaps I am putting my own feelings of embarrassment into the equation rather than trusting those that care about me. Anyway, I said a couple of days ago I'd put a photo or two up and I've not done so. Avoidance? More shame? I did get brave and took a couple but I posed, well dressed and that hid a multitude of my weight sins. So I've stripped off to my minimum but decent and oh, what a reality check it is! Usually, I can squint, flash a glance in the mirror or not look at all, but tonight I looked and it just made me that more determined.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.

0 Comments

More reality checking

Each time I play my own mind games I look more closely at me and remember why I must do this!

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I am dreading telling my GP of my WLS. I am booked in for a Sleeve gastrectomy on the 17 sept here in Western Australia. Please keep updating your post. It is really encouraging. My husband, children and 3 close friends know of my plans for surgery. They are all positive but I doubt I shall tell others. There is so much judgement that people put on you for your choices.
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Elle Lizzy May, oh my my my, if your GP makes you feel that way, he/she is not the GP for you! We can't choose how our family and friends react, (I've not told anyone at all) but we can about telling them, however, our GP should be right behind and beside us or they are not the professional I would want in my life. And life is what you deserve! A life that let's you walk down Hay Street Mall in slim anonymity, only looked at for your smile! Or walk in David Jones or Myers and not look for PLUS of BIG WOMAN options only! To hell with those that might judge you, you'll look in the mirror and at your new body, and grin, more than a smile, a short term pain for a long term gain, for you as a Mum and a wife, but most importantly for you and about how you feel about yourself! Go for it!

Bandless and looking forward!

I'm one week post band removal, which translates to one week closer to sleeving! All went well, op on the Friday afternoon, no pain medication required post surgery, just an overnight, and after the weekend, I took just one day, the Monday, off work and was fine to work the rest of the week. Saving my sick leave for a 2 week break post sleeve op. Yes, I was tired and sore (discomfort level) at the end of each working day but manageable. In fact the worst of it all was/is my allergy to plasters. No matter what they use and what I say about how I will react, they put plaster over laparoscopic entries and I break out. It itches so much and gets worse each day for a week, well after I rip them off as soon as I get home. Still wishing I didn't need to sleeve and still knowing without a doubt I do. No miracle change to my eating habits post band removal, and my weight is still way up there at 216 lbs (98 kilos) this morning. I've 8 weeks to my sleeve date and counting! I'll try not to add to my bulk but I'm craving an ice cream binge and clearly, I cave in so easily. I'm living reading about others journeys, not just the physical but the emotional too. Knowledge is power! Reminder of my target; size 14 for Christmas Day. I'm fitting 18 now and I'm 173 cm (5' 8") so I'm a 'big girl' desperately just wanting the big word to go away!

8 Comments

Zen lady: thank you for posting and it is good to see your age. I'm 55 and I'm looking to make a change in my life. Hopefully, my day will be December 22. Please continue to post. It has helped and will continue to help us.
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As herald, I sure will, glad it helps as I've got so much help from other here.
Sorry my comments were to Sharoneaton. I get a bit confused with the posts and who I'm answering.
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Starting my 40 Day Pre-Op Countdown

Today I'm starting to count days not weeks. Despite every day saying I'll eat healthy and start this weight loss, I'm true to form and today's scales show a 5 lb gain over the last 3 months from when I made this decision. It's a good reminder that I not only want to, but must do this. Today I sweated and puffed through my Saturday domestic goddess chores, another reminder. I'm dressed to go out and I look bloated, squashed in and just plain awful, another reminder. I deserve to be kinder to me than I am being. So I'm happily wishing my life away, well 40 days of it. I don't want to see this reflection anymore!

30 Comments

Zen lady. I am scheduled for October 9th and I am very scared too knowing that it can't be reversed. I have been doing excellent since my first appt in the end of may I lost about 25#. But today I have felt week and eaten a little more that I normally have been eatting. I feel like you at 65 I want to be more activ e and at my previous 236# and 5ft 1/2 inch that would be impossible.
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maryella1, I'm scared of things op and post op too but terrified of being as I am today for the rest of my life! October 9th is just a sneeze away!
Yes...to live any additional months ....years in the shape Im in now is depressing. Still dont have my date yet...but I am just so looking forward to that date...look to your higher power for courage and peace....take care....we are all with you

Size 0 advisor! Pre op meet with surgeon and dietician today. The latter my worst nightmare!

After a quick visit with the surgeon, Ms Perfection Size 0 dietician came in and sat opposite me and using the Royal 'we', decided to tell say how we are facing a big op and we need to start eating in a refined way now so we can do so after the op! REFINED?

Then she, at all of 20 years old, told me how we (glancing at my Summary weight and medical history over 61 years) announced, like it was unknown to me, that we had struggled with our weight for so long and that diets don't work (would I be there if any of the 50+ I had tried did?) and added, we really do need to do better. She said we had gone up and down so often we had to change pre op or post op we will fail again! Lord knows if I could change myself I would not be having this surgery and you don't need to be a Rhodes Scholar to know that.

This was followed by a lesson in eating, using a small bowl, she was kind enough to role play how to take an imaginary small mouth full, put the spoon down, and savour the taste, waiting minutes before reaching for the spoon to do it again. Just in case I missed her lesson, she reacted it twice more for me.

I could barely contain myself, whoops, after listening to her condescending tone, I actually didn't! I certainly clarified that unless I was mistaken I'm the only one having the op, so she could stop including herself in my journey. I also said I know what I should eat and how much I should eat, and the speed I should do it at, I just don't have the control to apply that knowledge and I was in fact the expert in what overeating has done to me.

I haven't been so annoyed for years and it took me a few hours to get over it. Not a positive experience but I'm not letting her insensitivity stop my process, and when I see my surgeon, I'll let him know how annoyed I felt too.

Sadly, I gained nothing from the $200 visit but resentment. I have learned so much more from my sleeve friends here and it's all been in a friendly, supportive non-judgemental atmosphere.

So, back to my positive of just 27 days to op day!

14 Comments

Hi there, Zen. My story is SO much like yours (I'm 53 and have gained and lost 50-90 lbs repeadedly, my whole life). I am so tired of this psychological roller coaster (and , yes, I consider it more psychological than physiological). I'm at the age where I think: this is it. I can't stay on this up and down track any more. My sleeve surgery is scheduled for Oct. 17th, so we're all roughly getting this done at the same time. It's reassuring to know we can all post here for support, and to vent, and to brainstorm. Thanks for sharing your story.
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herringbones, yes there are a few of us more mature variety going for it around the same time, I'm glad we can chat and learn from each other. I'll look forward to your first post pre op, just 6 days before the surgeon changes my future too!
Hang in there. The presurgery 'stuff' is very stressful. My doctor gave me xanex to take the edge off a couple weeks before surgery. I've been sleeved 11 days now and decided to have a bit of fish & squah last night and ended up rushing to the bathroom to throw it up. So it's not a choice like previous diets to go off in a week and go back to the way we ate before-you physically will not be able to do that, as much as I'd like at time. Contact me anytime with questions, my name is Judy
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Two weeks today and I'll be post-op, if only by a few hours!

Closer and closer sneaks the day! A very busy work life takes my mind off it almost totally but today I was to start then pre op eating plan officially. I've been quite careful for the last 2 weeks so I expect I'll cope with the requirements just fine. I've momentarily thought about skipping the op a few times as I'm managing healthy eating so easily but a flick into my memory banks soon reminds me how many times I've managed it and then set all the best intentions aside for poor food choices and a return to heavy me. The op or difficulties post op not on my mind, just the time off work with so much going on, but I need to remember ITS JUST A JOB! So, I'll keep this short and sweet as I look forward to my health and future slimness!

50 Comments

Good luck to you! I look forward to seeing your progress! I'm planning to have sleeve surgery myself before the year is out - maybe even during Thanksgiving weekend if I can schedule it then. :)
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i know thanksgiving is the last thurs in november? what no turkey? u will have to eat up before hand!! I hope I c some progress soon,ie someone notices the 9kgs ive lost or I need to hitch up clothes that r too big......or somethings too loose!
I'll be watching this space too. Scheduled for 5th Jan 2015, aged 53, BMI 35 and sick of the struggle to keep my weight down. Will be exciting to see your progress:)
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