Cutting the String on my Yoyo! - English born living in Sydney, Australia, AU

Gosh I'm amazed another month has almost passed since my last update. I think the longer the time since my sleeve the more it becomes a memory and fades as an event. Another couple of pounds have dropped off in this 4 week period, I'm sitting on 162 lbs, or 74 kilos, below my surgeons expectations. I make no effort, count my calories, I just eat healthy and well. My appetite hasn't increased much, if at all, despite no limits on food choices, I choose good ones and only feel like small amounts. I do enjoy a small sweet treat occasionally, but never seek them out. I do eat a few more carbs, in sushi, or a bread roll occasionally, mainly when eating out but not regularly and always only eating what I need and leaving the rest served to me.

Clothes are amazing, I cannot believe the small sizes I wear with ease, I almost want to wear them inside out to show my 'normality' or to remind me of it. I still struggle with the fat picture of myself that I seem to hold onto subconsciously despite my clearly understanding I'm no longer fat at a conscious level. Time will take care of that I'm sure, I never doubt this is who I am now and forever.

I bumped into a colleague this week that I've not seen for 6 months, pre-op times, her shock at seeing a slim me sure amused me and my confidence has really increased at work, no longer ashamed of how I look.

That's enough of my rambling, let me finish on a very positive note, I love my decision, I could not be more sure it's the best outcome as the sleeve found the real me that was buried most of my adulthood.

I've taken a second job so just not on line and posting as I once could. Saving for my old age, might be a bit late at 61!

My weight keeps reducing all by itself, and very slowly. I'm 167.2 (or 76 kilos) so just a couple more pounds and I'm where I would never have believed it possible, my surgeon's goal and a good 10 lbs below my own. I eat what I want and as much as I want, it's just my choices of good and volume are so totally different. Healthy and small, a reflection of whom I am now. People who haven't seen me for some time are rightly shocked, and I just smile with my secret. 48 lbs gone of course it's now obvious. I'm happier about my body than I have been since, well, ever I think, what a gift this has been for me. Happy me!

Yes, I'm still in awe of this life changing op! It's like a long ago memory and I sometimes stop and remind myself of this 360 degree turn to what is now my future.

I'm a slow loser I guess, but I feel that it's quick to reach healthy and slim in 4 months. It's relative to so much, like what I had to lose, what I expected, and how felt about being overweight. Starting at 216 lbs or 98 kilos, although not my heaviest ever weight, it was a lot to carry on my 61 year old, 5' 8" tall, arthritic bones. Most of all I was always conscious and embarrassed by my body. I wanted hide away in shame. No matter what I wore I only saw fat. That is my past.

I'm a very happy 173 lbs today, or 79 kilos. I'm a very happy normal shaped woman. I don't stand out, I blend in. I wear AUS size 14 or USA size 12, with ease. I have given away 75% of my clothes because they look silly for their looseness. I buy off the rack in normal sizes. I never check a chair for sufficient space, or squirm in a plane, train, bus of movie, to avoid overflowing my girth to the next person. I have flappy upper arms and thighs and thinning hair (the latter will pass) and I'm so grateful for them because it's because the skin isn't filled with fat, and it will never be that again.

I'm living every day without shame and embarrassment. I'm lighter than I've been for over 35 years. I know I will stay this way, this isn't a temporary crash diet or frantic exercise regime, it's the result of needing and eating far less food. Thank you sleeve.

I've moved four States in the last 12 months, once State twice, for different jobs, so people don't know the fat lady, they just know me, Bonnie. My shame is unknown, which is a positive but then no one says his well I've done either. Like the op, it remains my secret only. They just see me not my fat, because it's gone. I see me and not my fat, I am finally comfortable in my skin.

I've a quiet confidence wherever I go and with who ever I am with. I ate one single slice of pizza yesterday, a slice with work colleagues, as people who remain slim do, there was no shame. I make choices that keep me slim. I have an appetite, just no more to binge, it's for small healthy meals and I enjoy an occasional less healthy choice.

It's changed far, far, far more than my body, and I will live the rest of my life with a level of self acceptance inside and out that I had chased all of my adult life. I am very, very lucky to have been able to have this sleeve key to the physical and resulting psychological contentment I craved.