Mild ptosis, 300cc cohesive textured, over the muscle - Australia, AU

So I'm a 31 year old mum of 4 and have breast fed...

So I'm a 31 year old mum of 4 and have breast fed them all. I actually gained volume after feeding my 3rd baby, but after my 4th I lost it all again :-( I was up to a very very full C or even D cup while I was feeding, and now I don't fill up a C cup, so I'm presuming I'm a B (just wearing C's cos I can't find bras that feel and fit right so I'm not wasting my money buying new ones). I'm very self conscious about the floppiness off them, I don't like to bend over as they seem to lose and boob-like shape and just... well I can't even explain it. They look yuk.

I've booked in with my PS who did my recent tummy tuck. He's a man of few words, but is apparantly excellent at what he does. He knows what I want and what I don't want so I feel pretty confident that he can help me achieve what I want, which is nice natural looking boobs with a bit of upper pole fullness which I'm currently lacking. I had my photos taken, got measured for a bra and played with sizes. I've gone for 310cc - 350cc, but prepared to go higher if that's what is needed.

He has chosen to go over the muscle, the reason for this is because I have a fair amount of droop and if he was to put it under the muscle, my breast tissue will apparantly hang off the implant. They will be inserted at the fold line.

I haven't told anyone about this, nor am I going to, it's no ones business but mine and my husband who only talks about boobs these days!

So that's where I am at the moment. I have to go in and pay for it next week. I'm getting my nose done at the same time so I'm not looking forward to the recovery!

I will post some before pics if I can work up the courage

I went to the bank today

Today I went to the bank and this afternoon we are going in to pay the deposit and pick up my PO bra.

Speaking of bras, I went shopping today. I looked at bathers and bras. There's so much nice stuff out there at the moment, I wish I knew what size to get! Won't be long and I'll be able to go proper bra shopping :-D eeeek! I did buy some new clothes though (yay!)

Anaesthetist

I've just paid my anaesthetist fee, was quite a bit lower than I expected! Now I've got more to spend on bras when I'm allowed to. Now I just need to fill out my health questionnaire and sign the consent form and I'm good to go. I paid my deposit last night and picked up my bra... I haven't taken it out of the box yet... I feel if I take it out of the box, it makes it all real :-/

photos *cringe*

finally some before photos

photos *cringe*

finally some before photos

I'm happy

Finally, I'm happy! I'm happy with my choice of size, I'm happy with my choice of position, let's hope I'll be happy with the results! I'm so happy I'm finally happy!

1 week to go! I can't believe I'm actually doing this!

Let the nesting begin

with 4 days before surgey, this week is going to consist of cleaning, scrubbing, washing, ironing and anything else that gets in my way! I have my little 2 year old on the vacuum cleaner as we speak :-)

Has anyone got a list of stuff that I should take with me? Or stuff to have at home after the op? I'm totally clueless!

Still haven't taken the post op bra out of the box... I suppose I should do that and see if it fits :-/

finally got the bra out the box

finally got the bra out the box, so now its real

Anatomic or round?

I've been doing some research and now I'm scared. My surgeon told me he's use anatomic high profile over the muscles. Well I'm happy with the high profile and over the muscle part... but I've just read that anatomic are textured which can lead to rippling and they can also turn over in their pocket. Has anyone got any advice or experience?

Just had a visit with my PS

So after my anatomic vs round debate yesterday, I went and saw my PS and decided to go with the round. He says he never uses the tear drop shape unless its with a breast reconstruction. He did say that my breasts are not that of a typical 21 year old (although I'm 31) but I don't think my breasts need to be reconstructed, just refilled.

So there we have it, I'm going round cohesive 345cc over the muscle. Done.

Now I just have to wait.

I don't think I can do it

I think I've made the wrong choice. My husband made me some flour sizes this morning and the 345 (what I chose) is too big! It makes me look top heavy. I told him to lower it to 300 and loved that look. My surgery is tomorrow and it's too late to change. I don't think I can go ahead with the 345. I think I have to cancel.

I just cancelled

I just got a call from my PS and he said he can't get new implants in for tomorrow and because I'm so unsure, he said my best bet was to cancel. So I did. He wants to be sure that I'm sure. He was very helpful on the phone and said to come in so we can work it out. As strange as it sounds, I'm so relieved that I've cancelled. I'd rather give myself some more time and be sure of my decision.The flour testers may have been an inaccurate guide I know, but he told me how to make some accurate sizes so I'll do that. And if I fail at that, I'll go in to his offices and try on some real sizes. My biggest fear was to go too big, like an obvious difference. I don't want a lift as such as a good bra can do that, I just want more volume so I can fit in a bra/bathers properly, without the fear that I'll fall out when I bend over. I think a 300cc will give me enough volume to achieve that.

Positives to come out of this, my house is real clean, my washing is up to date and I'm all tidy and groomed. lol.

Thanks for all your kind words. It means a lot to me xx

New Date

I have a new date, 21st Jan... now I'm getting nervous all over again!

I need help

With the fake part if it all... How do you get past that feeling of being fake and that you're not really you anymore?

I look at my boobs without a bra and I think gee it will be nice to have some volume in there. Then I think how fake I will be. when I look at pics of all you guys I don't think fake, so why do I think it of myself? I know I'll still be me, but this fake part is really bothering me to the point where I'm not sure i can go through with it. Did anyone else struggle with this? How do I get past it? My husband keeps saying its like people having hair extensions, fake nails, fake tan etc, but I feel it's more than that. Help!

Still worrying...

Where do I start...? At this stage, I think I've decided not to go ahead with the implants. Why? Well...
No. 1- I'm stressing too much about the size. I'm a large B/small C at the moment and I'm ok with that. It's the sagging that I originally wanted filled up, and to do that, I feel I will end up too big for my frame, one of my biggest fears.
No. 2- I don't really want the financial commitment of having to maintain boobs. If I need a revision, it will probably cost me a fair bit (don't know the surgeons policy for revisions, I will ask when I go back to see him). If it was every 10 years then I'd be fine with it, but that can't be guaranteed.
No. 3- I know I will constantly worry about a rupture and I really don't want to have silicone seeping trough my body. I'm also worried about capsular contraction and rippling. (Yes I'm a worry wart and I can't help it)
No. 4- I know I don't want them forever and before I've already got them, I'm thinking about how long I'll keep them for and getting them taken out.

Lately I have found myself over at the implant removal section and totally relating to what some people have been talking about, which I find weird as I haven't even got implants!

However, I do want to feel more confident in my body and in bras and clothes, but I wonder if a good fitting bra could help me with that? It would definitely be the cheaper option, and I haven't even tried finding a decent bra since I stopped breast feeding.

So from going over my wants and my don't wants, my don't wants outweigh my wants which has brought me to the conclusion that perhaps I'm not ready to take this leap yet. What are your thoughts?

So this is me...

I've been thinking long and hard about this. I don't think I'm ready. Its been such a quick process that I feel I should give myself a bit more time to think and try and accept my body for how it is and what it's been through. I have an appointment with my surgeon today to discuss my questions before making a final decision on what I'm going to do. I've added some photos in hope of some opinions/feedback, like should I be happy and accept myself or is it fair that I feel something needs to change? Thanks girls.

I cancelled again

Hi all. I had my appointment yesterday and told him I just wasn't sure about it all and that I don't feel I should go through with it at this stage. He was totally supportive in saying that I've made the right decision as its purely cosmetic and you need to be sure. He wrote me out a cheque as I'd already paid for it before my previous cancellation. I'm going to work on accepting me as I am for a couple of years and I know the option is always there if I don't succeed. I'm seeing things in a different light at the moment for which I'm grateful for as its saved me a lot of money. I wish everyone out there the very best of luck with their recoveries and up coming surgeries. I hope your new boobies will bring you the happiness that you are looking for. Thank you all for your support throughout this process, it has been very much appreciated! Xx over and out :-)

I'm back

So here I am again, I re-opened the boogie book. I knew I would :-) I was giving myself the summer months to see if I could accept my body. Looking back on my summer holiday photos and my boobs were the only thing I'm not happy about, we I'm going to fix it. I still have all of my previous concerns, but I'm going to give it a try and if it's not for me, I'll take them out. No big deal. I'm going back to my surgeon to decide sizes again, but I'm pretty sure I'll go the same as last time, 300cc (or less) cohesive textured over the muscle. If anyone has any thoughts on this, please share :-) I wears going to do it next month, but I've rescheduled for June as it will suit me and my family better.
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Hi znikie, thank you for your comment, it has helped me remember why I made the decision to not go ahead with it all, I just want to be me. I started thinking "maybe I should have just gone and done it", but I'm still glad I'm not, sad I won't have nice perky boobs, but happy that I don't have to constantly worry about them and people noticing etc etc. I'm very grateful to have found this site as I too think I would have just done it without thinking anything of it. I'm so sorry to read about all your complications and the troubles you're having trying to get them taken out. I wish you all the best in finding a Dr that will help you and may the new year bring you all the luck and happiness that you deserve! xo
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Oh Momma.. .You are so incredibly beautiful... and I know it has been a really long journey and rough decision... I only wish I had that instinct that you have... There was no stopping me. I was turing 40 and told I couldnt have babies so I was like... Im DOING THIS... I do believe if I found this site before it would of helped me do more research and make an informed decision.. Who knew Id end up with the mess that I did. You are amazing and so happy you decided to be you. Im here if you ever want to talk :)
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Hi znikie, thank you for your comment, it has helped me remember why I made the decision to not go ahead with it all, I just want to be me. I started thinking "maybe I should have just gone and done it", but I'm still glad I'm not, sad I won't have nice perky boobs, but happy that I don't have to constantly worry about them and people noticing etc etc. I'm very grateful to have found this site as I too think I would have just done it without thinking anything of it. I'm so sorry to read about all your complications and the troubles you're having trying to get them taken out. I wish you all the best in finding a Dr that will help you and may the new year bring you all the luck and happiness that you deserve! xo
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Thank you so much. Happy Holidays. :)
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Well done for making your decision. If that makes you happy then that's awesome. It is such a big decision to make and I think you have done the right thing on waiting and accepting your body how it is ( great body by the way). Best of luck in the future! Xx
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Thank you :-) and thanks for your help and answering my questions. I've made the right decision for me at this point in time. I haven't closed the book completely, just put it down for now, but unsure as to whether I will come back to it or not. I wish you all the best for your recovery and hope you take it easy!
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Hi M, just came to check out your pics....you look great. Really. I don't even have your breasts. I understand about the fullness but that bra is looking nice on you. Mine is empty really empty. It is totally fair to want to look your best but there is no shame in taking time to decide. By the way, I wouldn't mind having those ;)
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Thank you, yes I'm happy with the bra, I should have bought one that fitted me properly ages ago and I probably wouldn't even be in this situation! I just hope I can find a pair of bathers that hold them in the same way!
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You know I've been searching online and there are a lot if places where you can get a good looking suit - bathers- with nice padding. It'll be a bit more pricey but I actually got excited about how I'd look with my new bb! Oh yeah! Hey! I just got a new one! I reeeaaly need to celebrate that!
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I should do a search... I'd be worried that they wouldn't fit though, I like to try things on. I guess you could post it back if it wasn't right? Sorry, I'm, not familiar with the term 'bb'? I really wasn't to share your excitement but I'm stuck! lol
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Bb...belly button. Yes, yours looks amazing too! I checked out voda swimwear and Venus...both with v. I don't know what the return policy is but I just thought I could order a few tops and keep the one I liked the most. Unless you have a retailer near you...you might. You have a hood amount of breast compared to me so I think you might see better results. I thought I should a least give it a try.
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Good not hood *
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oh haha belly button of course! Yes YAY to new belly buttons! Mine looks funny cos I still have my piercing hole, but now it's beneath my bb ;-) so I need to get that fixed.
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I hope you will make the decision that will make you happy, whatever it is :) you will be the one carrying it! Best wishes sweetie
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Thank you, starting to feel happier with my decision to cancel/postpone :-) What a rollercoaster!
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Hi, I totally get what you mean. I was going on the explanation removal forums because I thought I needed to consider worst case scenario...if something went wrong I didn't want to resent anyone or the implants or my body. I just want to make the best decision. My husband said to stop going there because I was focusing on the negatives but I wanted to connect with the women that had gone through difficulty and maybe understand a little bit about their story. I brought it full circle back to okay....I want to talk to the surgeon and get his statistics on contractures and revisions. He doesn't fluff anything. I'm sure he will bring it back to me. He doesn't NEED my business. He won't convince me. He's already told me he can help me achieve what I want. It really does come back to the emotional investment , the financial investment, the physical recovery and possible future surgeries. It's scary. I'm starting to see what the other side could offer. I already know what it is to have itty bitty breasts ;)
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Dang. I meant explant! Not explanation ugh , auto correct :x
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We are definately on the same level. After a bit more research, I'm starting to come back to wanting them again as I would LOVE some upper fullness. I will see if I can achieve this with some bra and bathers shopping this weekend, then if not, I still have my appt on Tuesday to discuss my options.
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I was at that point last week telling my husband I was going to try new bras and if no one was going to see them then who cares....well apparently I do! I was super annoyed with the big void in the bra. It's a temporary improvement. I am a realist slash pessimist :)
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Start with a couple of new bras and see if you feel happier that way. Also, do a little research in the silicone gel implants because they are a cohesive gel that does not leak. I could not find anything wrong with them in my research. You can see Youtube videos of surgeons cutting them in half. If you are not ok with the risks, maybe you should postpone or cancel. I had a lot of freak out moments prior to surgery and now that it's over and I'm almost 6 weeks out, I still worry a little that something could still go wrong or something may go wrong with my revision later on. If I had breast tissue to begin with, I probably would have talked myself out of it or maybe never even considered it. That being said, I really do love my new breasts and how much more adult and womanly I look.
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That's just it, this could be one of my freak out moments and I'll be over it soon! I will definitely try on some new bras this weekend and talk to my surgeon next week and we'll take it from there.
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Oh and I have seen the gel implants cut in half on Utube... is that how all silicone implants are? I would worry less if that was the case. The reason I'm worried now as I've read on the net that it can leak to your lymph nodes and other parts of your body such as your lungs and it can't be removed. That freaks me out!
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They don't use the leaky silicone anymore in the US, but some countries still do. Check with your surgeon to make sure it's a "cohesive" silicone gel. These are still pretty new in the US (10 years?) but I guess they've been around for a while in Europe. Your surgeon can tell you all about it. The Sientra brand has a tougher/thicker shell than the Mentors (these were my 2 options) and you can feel the difference. Sientra has a new study out that shows their cohesive implants last longer. Either way, they don't leak out of the capsule when they "rupture", apparently.
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Thanks for the info, I was just reading up on this earlier this morning. I definately feel more confident about the chances of a rupture and apparantly the recommendation of MRIs every two years has been revoked which is great. I still really want them, but still find myself finding reasons why I shouldn't! Sometimes I really hate myself!!!
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I definatly think your making the right desison if this is the way you feel , me personally wanted them for 11 years and looked at all the what if's and still wanted them , if you have the slightest worry there's no point in getting implants then not enjoying them because your constantly worried about getting them redone or it going wrong or removal ... At least you didn't do something you would regret , maybe you'll change your mind in a couple of years and enjoy them or maybe you'll be lucky and find full confidence with the body you have , good luck with everything even if your choice changes x
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