Final Update - Relieved. - Auburn, IL

I know I won't have done this the correct way, as...

I know I won't have done this the correct way, as all you women have joined RealSelf prior to surgery etc. , but I wanted to share with you after all you have done for me.

I have had silicone implants for 22 years at an ex-husbands request (demand). 6 months after he made all the choices, and I couldn't stop crying, I left him.

I am in my 50's now and have lived in isolation since I got them. I can't say what size, or even bra size because I've only ever worn a very tight sports bra to flatten them out. I couldn't see my toes, that's for sure.

Anyway, long story short, I noticed some very painful unfamiliar lumps a few months back. At first I thought the implants had finally ruptured but it was too painful. I began a very short internet search to here. :)

After reading your stories, I decided I was a fool if I waited one more day to get these horrid things out of me.
I had my consult on October 3rd and had the removal done Friday, October 5th. The implants were in perfect form with no sign of leakage, but they did find cancer tumors, which they removed.

I am 4 days post op and feeling so relieved I can't put it into words. This is the first time in over 20 years I am not ashamed to see myself in a mirror. I look forward to being able to go shopping for pretty clothes again, real bras again, and just going OUTSIDE again ! :)))

I guess I just want to thank you all so very much for a place like this, because I may have never found the courage to get done what needed doing without all you very brave and strong women on here.

Much love and happiness to you all.

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There's no right or wrong way to write your review. But I'm glad you got these implants out of you and the cancer out, too.

So glad the ladies could be here for you. I'm so proud of all the women in this fabulous community, you included.

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Hello, I am so glad you are feeling better about yourself I understand your pain and also your relief :) I hope all of the cancer was removed and you are well on your way to recovery and self discovery. I had my implants out Oct 4th and am doing well other than some random dull pulling pain. Keep me posted on your recovery and if you can post pictures they really help the women to have courage :)
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Thank you for the kind words. The post op pain from the incisions is minimal at this point, it's the cavities from the tumor removals that are quite painful. And quite colorful. But it isn't bothering me in the least. I am just so pleased to be myself again nothing much can bring me down at this point. I'm thinking somewhere down the road during all this healing I'll see some deformity but it's just not important to me. I suppose that sounds terrible, but, I already feel beautiful again just being free of implants. I can't post photos at the moment but I will ask for copies from the Dr. sometime during my follow-ups. I hope you heal happy and healthy also.

I guess I should have added a few more details. ...

I guess I should have added a few more details.

I had had 5 children and been breast feeding 10 years pretty much non stop. It never occurred to me that it would bother a man that professed to love 'me'. I mean, what did 'me' encompass if he was displeased with my appearance? I had never had a body image problem. It seemed perfectly normal for breasts to become well loved and used up after doling out so much love and nurturing. Kind of like a favorite blanket after years of giving comfort.

Anyway, I'm healing well. The areas where the tumors were removed are still colorful, but the skin feels cool to the touch and for me that's the good part. I would hate to get infection setting in. I'm still reading here every day and learning so much. This is a wonderful place.

Thanks again for the kind and encouraging words. They help. Xo

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Do sorry u had to go through all that you did. How are you doing now that it's been a couple of years? I also want to thank you for your story. I feel that the drains and having the capsules removed is so important. Hopefully other women reading your story will see this. I know it's cheaper not to have this done. But, how can you put a price on your health. Though on the other hand there have been a lot of women who haven't taken capsule out and have done just fine. On another note I also feel that if all you can afford is just to get the implant out than that's better than to leave it in. So sorry I've been going on and on about this. I just feel that we as women are more I powered with the more we know. Especially learning from the women who have gone before them in this procedure. Thank you again for being so detailed story about your experience.
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So happy you are free of implants. I, too, have implants and they have been in for 34years. I have consultation next Thursday. I hope to be free of implants by the end of year. What I fear most is surgery itself and what they mind. Thank you for posting your journey. Somehow I thought I was the only person who has has implants for m any years. Rest well and I am happy for you they got cancer out. Gram1
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I'm sorry you lived with implants all these years you hated and they weren't even your choosing!! I am glad they are gone, you are free of the horrible ex husband and the tumours were removed. Do you have to have further treatment? Hugs to you, really pleased you are happy! x
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Today makes a full week since surgery. I tried my...

Today makes a full week since surgery. I tried my 3 mile aerobic walk just a bit ago and made it through fine. I did avoid doing too much large arm movement I think that would be foolhardy this soon, but the rest went well.

The pain is minimal except the crater pockets yet. The bruising is almost completely gone that's visible on all breast tissue. It's still a little hard to sleep through the night because I'm always subconsciously trying not to cause stress to the recovering bits.

I'm looking forward to my follow up on the 23rd of this month. Will post with an update then.

Stay well brave women! xo

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What a wonderful brave woman you are, thank you for your story. I was explanted on the same day as you and feel ...words can't express it actually. I feel like my subconscious mind has created a doorway for the real me to emerge through, I am seeing the door and will find the courage over the next weeks, months, years to walk thro and become that person I should have been before the damage started. We are not too late xxx
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Thank you! Isn't it wonderful!?! I put a regular T-shirt on that has been in my closet for almost 20 years for the first time today. It fits beautifully! It IS hard to find words to express the emotions that are running through. But most of all I feel 'right'. No, we are Not too late, what a wonderful life ahead of us, giving ourselves the respect we deserve for us. :)
Wow! I am so proud of you. You show a lot of courage and a. Sweet heart in your writings. You are the kind of person that I admire. I will be thinking about you and your recovery and hoping for the very best of outcomes. Your children are lucky to have such a great mom. You will find a lot of good friends here. Stay with us.
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Well, what a nice surprise in the mail today. My...

Well, what a nice surprise in the mail today. My Dr sent a refund of 1,400.00 because they didn't do a capsulectomy. (sp?) So I changed the procedure cost. But now I'm wondering if Pathology charges separate? I'm hoping to get another surprise, if my Insurance will pick it up because of the cancer. I won't expect it, but it would sure make this all the more worth it.

I guess part of this journal journey is to record good and bad. I have to admit, I screwed up. I disregarded the 3 week order because I was feeling so good. I have been paying for it the past 2 days. Now, I am sore, and feeling very bruised. I think I should have stuck with less mileage, and less vigorous. Less housework and going about my business as usual. Shame on me. :( Anyway, I have been huddled up on the couch behaving myself now, and will continue to do so til my appt. Tuesday.

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I can post photos today. Yay. Clearly, the...

I can post photos today. Yay.
Clearly, the right breast is sad. They removed a good deal of tissue when removing the tumors. I'm just not all that bothered though. Maybe I should be. I don't have any photos of pre surgery but I was very large implants. By comparing some ladies photos here, I was a large D cup or DD.
I hope this helps give an idea for some other women thinking of ging natural again. ! xo

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My implants were sent to pathology and I did receive separate billing for that, but it wasn't a huge amount after the insurance paid their part and it was like four months before I received their bill. I was beginning to think ther wasn't going to be a charge. Hope this day and every day to follow brings you untold happiness.
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Absolutely Beautiful!
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Good luck for your follow-up! You're such a strong, brave lady! Here's to having a second wind in your sails!! xx
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Therapy time. I thought about keeping my...

Therapy time.

I thought about keeping my thoughts to myself, and not sharing everything here, but then, that would defeat the purpose of helping others here. So, sorry to go on this time of day, but, I'm nervous about tomorrow and new things are happening in my life.Maybe I'll just be dumping here, or maybe I can glean a few words of wisdom...

I haven't had much discomfort for some time with the incisions, but yesterday I began feeling some irritation on the outer edge of the right incision. It has gotten progressively painful in one silly little spot throughout today. ... so, I gathered up the inner courage, and asked my husband to look and see if there was something wrong down there. Ok, that may seem perfectly normal to most women here who are married, and especially married for 20+ years, but, not this marriage. My husband has never, ever, ever, seen me with no clothes on. Ever. We have never slept in the same room, and we have never been 'intimate'.

This implant removal is a whole new chapter in my life, OUR life. Together. It's like this glorious horrid mixed bag of blessings. The implants are gone, and I can now foresee us having a 'complete' marriage, but this crap with the cancer is scaring me away from wanting to build that extra intimacy. ... I suppose this is waaaay too much information, and if it's inappropriate it'll be scuttled....

The point is, he very stoically checked my incisions tonight like he'd been seeing me our whole life together. And I seem to have a small infection growing on the edge of the right incision. Probably an undesolving stitch.

And he kissed me goodnight tonight, and said I was beautiful.

I hope I can make the next 20 years of his life glorious.

Goodnight ladies, thanks for listening. Bless us all. xo

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Praying your pathology comes back all negative (good) tomorrow.
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Thanks byeimplants, I really needed this right now. xo
My youngest grand baby just left after an afternoon visit. She kept motioning for me to pick her up. :( Ohhhh the hugs we miss out on! Blah. My guts are all knotted up about tomorrow... can't wait until it's over, good or bad. I just want to know...
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So I begin with many thanks for all your well...

So I begin with many thanks for all your well wishes, again. It feels so comforting to have voices of compassion just support instead of judge and tear down. I was in a bad spot last night, so thank you all for accepting my cry.

Well, on with the medical findings. I wasn't much good in the head for the first 2 follow-ups so this time I made notes, lol.

Ok, I had Bilateral capsular contracture - (better be spelled right it's coming straight off the report!!)

I have very thick capsules with calcification, but, the calcification is Benign so even though it will take many moons to heal, Dr felt it was unnecessary and damaging to remove capsules. (Thank you Dr!)

The cancerous tumor was measured 3"x3"x1". It was attached to the implant. All cancerous tissue has been removed, and I am at this point free of further treatment. OMG, YAY!!!!! This form of cancer will normally return within one year from removal if any cells are left behind. (That's to worry about another day, Not Today)

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So, in a nutshell, excellent news.

But, ladies, Just in "speculation" conversation with Dr, had I not had these implants, chances are, this breast cancer, For Me, would NOT have occurred. Along with the tumor Pathology, it also revealed chronic inflammation, and fat necrosis.

Whether it was a miniscule leak, or an area on the implant was imperfectly thin enough to leach, this has been growing almost since the first year the implants were put in. I personally believe my body started out by going into immune overdrive to combat a bad situation and then as I grew weaker from the fight, and more things went wrong healthwise, my immune system couldn't keep up.

Besides my immense low self esteem with the implants, within 2 years I was having major anxiety attacks. Which was soon joined by Congestive heart Failure. Which was then joined by Chronic Joint Inflammation the past 9 years. None of these issues existed prior to then.

Within 72 hours of Explant, I have not even had the inkling of anxiety. I have no symptoms of CHF and could be going off the meds, and I have None, not a bit of joint pain. Anywhere. No signs of inflammation as of today.

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Now dear ladies, I am off. Off to begin a wonderful, adventurous journey with my husband. I'm a wee bit nervous, lol, but we already had our first 'date' today on the way home from the check-up. He asked me out for dinner on our way home and I said, YES. Yes yes yes! We sat in a restaurant together, and it was wonderful. And weird, and wonderful! He has been my best friend, my knight in shining armor, and my protector all these years, and soon, God willing, also my lover. :)

RealSelf, and the wonderful members thereof, have within one short months time, changed my life forever.
Thank you isn't nearly enough. Without seeing the strong and compassionate women here... I truly don't know what my future would have held. Strength and Blessing and much love to you all. I am, Relieved 2012. xoxo

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I'm going to update here in comments for now to keep a record going jic. It's so easy to forget what we felt 'last week' compared to today. I'm having a decent amount of discomfort with the left upper breast tissue. It's been increasing the past 2 days. Feels like I have a severe 'flu' all over the skin and nipple area through my chest and upper left bicep. I'm thinking it's just nerve regeneration... skin doesn't feel too hot to the touch, just warm. But any clothing rubbing at all is almost painful. It is also still swollen, at least one cup size larger than the right side at this point. Dastardly some of the things that can go through our minds during recovery. Hoping all my fellow explanters are recovering well. I wish you all would update your healing more! :P It's nice to be able to compare. Praying for the best for all of us. And Flora, if you read this, sending prayers your way. I'm so sorry you're so sad. xo
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Wow - your posts are powerful. Thank you for taking us along on your journey...I too had a cancer scare and that is what finally made me request implant removal. I had to push hard for it! I am so happy for you. Hugs :)
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hi relieved2012, so happy that you decided to share your story with us :) i wish you sweet happiness with that sweet husband of yours . Hugs........ and you looked fab !!!
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I woke up this morning with a lot of discomfort in...

I woke up this morning with a lot of discomfort in my right breast, which until today has behaved quite well. 4 hours later it has swollen to 3x its size and pain is shooting into my neck and through my right arm. I supposing this is that fluid build-up I have read about on here. What's odd is I didn't realize it could happen this late after surgery. I wonder if I did something to bring this on? Oy vey this hurts. Have a call in to Dr now. Will see what they say.
Will update when we get it worked out.

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I hope your fluid is being taking care of and your pain as well . God bless xox
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I'm so sorry you're experiencing the pain and swelling. I hope it goes away soon. Loving your updates!

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Oh, Relieved 2012, I am so sorry. I am a nurse, and I too, do not know why this would happen so long post op. I hope everything is ok. Please let us know. Needless to say, gives me something else to think about since my procedure is tomorrow,
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My brain is very slow and fuzzy right now. ...

My brain is very slow and fuzzy right now. Morphine odd drug. Emergency surgery. Dr was astounded how fast swelling and infection set in. He first put needle into incision to get fluid sample. So thick and nasty could only get a few cc. Into surgery to relieve pressure and clean out capsulllle. Also deciided to doo casulectomy. Also put a drain in until further notice. Back to antibiotics and pain medss. It's so strane tomorrow will have been 4 weks.
So now I have a right side capsulectomy and left sside not. I will update when my brain is less fuzzy. I hope some ot this made sense. Thank you all for the care. It means so much.xo

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That previous update looks interesting. Apologies...

That previous update looks interesting. Apologies for the grammar demolition.
The Dr spoke to my husband after surgery, who was Not well medicated and this is what he said. The entire breast tissue is inflamed which then seemed to have caused the fluid which turned infected. Being he pegged my nature pretty quickly after meeting he asked my husband if I might have over done things too soon.
Yes, I have. But, I also mad one very very bad mistake when I made it to week three last Friday. I went out trying on some new sports bras. I pick one without front or back closures though. And I knew I had made a huge mistake before I ever finished getting it on. Dumb dumb dumb thing to do.
I also understand now, he didn't do a complete capsulectomy, he just scraped a bit of the calcified bits so it would adhere faster. He did this surgery for no charge.
My follow up is Tuesday.
Dr asked for me to please try to understand the healing for explant is not three weeks. Nor even three months. We need to heal a long time, inside. Painful lesson learned.

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Thank you All for the well wishes. This time I Will be a better patient. One day at a time.
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See I hope you feel better :-( so strange how we all recover so different. I am two weeks post op and in a regular sports bra with no from and back closure and I have no problem , but I bet having that Tumor removed really did a number on you , your in my thoughts :-)
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Pardon my see at the beginning of my comments lol stupid phone has a mind of its own

Early yesterday morning I took my sport bra off...

Early yesterday morning I took my sport bra off for the first time since I'd got home from surgery. I noticed a bloody discharge stain and didn't give it much thought. Pain meds I suppose. Husband came out in the morning and asked if I was ok. The discharge was on the wrong side of the bra. :(

He looked at my incision on the left side and saw it was seeping on the outer edge? I freaked a little. I thought it was healed shut. We called the Dr and he said he had not done a needle check during surgery on that side because I hadn't had any swelling or pain and he didn't want to cross contaminate if it didn't need draining. He said if you feel comfortable, take a q-tip and see if it will drain a bit more... Oh my Lord. We must have drained a good 1/3rd cup of fluid out of the left breast right through the incision line. Small bits of white scar tissue? calcium deposits? would block it and when husband would q-tip them out more and more fluid just streamed out.

Oy I was a mess. I was so scared. I was so afraid the whole incision was going to open... I baggied up all the discharge gauge pads and put them in the freezer. Will take them with on Tuesday just to let Dr decide if he wants to do Path on it or not. We just got done trying to drain more this morning and got about a tsp of clear discharge. So I think it's on the mend. If it hadn't seeped, for whatever reason, we would never have known any, much less so much fluid was also in that left breast. No sign it had been in there.

I am SOOOO going to take it easier this time around my house is going to look like I never clean! lol. Blessing to all here. What a journey we are all on! xo

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take it easy and hope you are feeling no soreness , will be praying for your healing hugs.
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Feel better soon, Relieved. Hopefully now you can heal correctly. Infection, or drainage may have been slowly accumulating for weeks. I, too, tend to do too much too soon. Probably already have considering I was just explanted on Thursday. Hard to do nothing. But maybe I will try a little harder to take it easier! At least until the drains come out as the left one is really a bit uncomfortable. Three more days! So you take it easy. Will continue to keep you in my thoughts.
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Thank you melvirginia. I'd like to believe that it started from the beginning, but, I think I have recorded here in my comment section when I started feeling something was going wrong. -Yup, Oct 27 I posted. I started feeling very unwell from then. It's a terrible lesson to learn. I really thought I was being moderately well behaved. It is so boring just sitting here. Thank goodness there is RealSelf to browse through, and journeys to read or I'd likely go nutty. Will look forward to seeing your update after Tuesdays visit. xo

I've been hesitant to update since things have...

I've been hesitant to update since things have really been unclear for me this past week. I am happy to say I I am on the road to healing, again. It's been a pretty terrifying week in general, and I'm having a hard time not going into major panic attacks and letting my mind go on a merry go round of fears.

It turns out I had \ have a staph tissue infection. I still have 2 balloon type drains in, plus Dr cut the stitch between the drains - so that is basically leaving me with the full incision open and draining still on my right side. At my appointment yesterday, he said if I had no improvement by Tuesday, another surgery and another tissue flush. - Thankfully, he also agreed to bombard me with an antibiotic cocktail and 36 hours into it, I think I may be coming through to the other side.

One thing I noticed here this past week; as wonderful, and I do mean wonderful, as RealSelf is, sometimes even with each others support, we feel very, very, alone and afraid. Still, I love coming here and reading all you ladies Posts and updates. Some make me smile, some make me wish we lived in a communal explant house. :)

I'll post one last time when I feel like I've past all the roadblocks to complete healing with an end result. Bless us all. xo

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I agree, an "explant" house would be cool! Like, aftermath, I do not have anyone to share this with here at home. Just my husband, who is great. Today is my first day back to the bridge group, and wouldn't you know the temp is 72 degrees!!! Hard to layer! However, I am not as flat as I thought I was going to be, (or led to believe I would be!), so I don't think anyone will notice and that is fine with me. Anyway, I am glad you are healing, if slowly. Continue to get better, and soon you can get back to normal!
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How was BRIDGE? Did you feel like they noticed? =)
A communal explant house - you made me grin. Wouldn't it be interesting to meet each other in person? No doubt, we are all incredibly different in personalities, ages, etc., yet something led each of us to the same, wonderful decision to return to being ourselves. It would be interesting to be able to talk! I certainly don't know anyone locally with whom I can share any of this. Good luck on your road to continued recovery. Please keep us posted! We sincerely care about your well-being. =)
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Thank you all for the encouraging support. I...

Thank you all for the encouraging support. I wasn't planning on updating again so soon. I just got back from another check-up. I was anticipating getting these drains pulled out and being able to begin healing; again.
:(
No such luck. More antibiotics, and maybe next week the drains will get removed. Even then, the full incision, approximately 3 inches, will be left wide open to heal on its own so that it continues to drain as it closes itself. I foresee weeks of constant apprehension and fear ahead.

I felt a bit down in the dumps on the trip home today. One conclusion I came to - hind sight - and - personal experience - ; drains immediately after explant should be welcomed. I wonder how things may have been different if I had had them in right away. It's personally frustrating and sad that my anticipation to get closer to my Love is going to be on hold for months to come. I was looking forward to a cuddle. :/

But, I just read Mrs Wests update, and I so feel her pain. It's very disheartening when things don't come about right and we are in pain and uncertainty. I know I am not alone here, nor is she, or others of you suffering your own fears and uncertainties. Thank you all for your borrowed strength as women. We really are stronger together, than alone. Bless us all. xo

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Hope you are starting to feel a little better, I feel your pain and am worried that I am going to need more surgery for this hematoma. I know I am over doing it, but there is nothing I can do but carry on as much as normal for the girls, my two year old know mummies boobies are sore but my baby doesn't understand. I feel dreadful for putting them through this. Your cuddles with your husband will come soon, and they will be extra special. Sending you hugs in the meantime. Xx
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I am so sorry to hear your news and thank you for keeping us up to date. We are out there for you. Sending you huge healing hugs. Please try to stay positive. I hope you are eating plenty of protien rich foods , nuts , meat, fish, poultry, cheese, eggs as these help with the healing process. A good diet and a positive mind will hep xxxx
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Hi, oh no I was hoping for better news for you!! Thinking of you and I hope you heal up and recover from the infection very soon. Hugs xx
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No end in sight. Only one drain removed from...

No end in sight. Only one drain removed from right breast.

Left breast still 'leaking' from incision and fluid still in the tumor pocket.

Both look, and feel, like they belong on separate bodies now.

Happy Thanksgiving to all who come here to share their journeys.

Blessings to all. xo

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Oh poor you. So sorry this is dragging on. Hope you are eating well, loads of protein to help with the healing. Please take it easy xxx trhinking of you . sending you healing hugs x
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Hello ladies. I've been a miserable human being...

Hello ladies. I've been a miserable human being lately. :/

This morning Dr removed the last perma-stitch and the final drain from the right breast, and I felt much less grumpy within minutes. It has been a month with the drains and I am once again, Relieved. I will continue to drain naturally for a few more days until this last drain area heals on it's own. The drain hose was 5 or 6 inches up into the breast tissue and about 3/4 inch wide. So by the weekend I should be closing up. I still have about a week and a half until my antibiotics are gone and I should be done with those too.

The left incision is still leaking calcium bits and fluids. I don't know how long that can go on. It is keeping me hesitant because I don't know if I can get another infection in that side so long as there is an exposed area. Dr said today I can leave it to heal on its own, or go back in surgery for drain tubes in that side and go through another month of *ell. From reading here, it doesn't seem too 'rare' for incisions to remain leaking for a few months after surgery. I don't know. Right now I'm just confused, and too afraid of more problems down the road.

For today, I'm just happy to be more comfortable and for the most part, pain free. I am Thankful for this.

Stay strong in your journeys ladies. xo

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you as well , god bless you and may your mind light shine everywhere xox
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Yeah for the drains finally out!! Lets hope this is indeed the start of everything moving on. Sending you positive healing thoughts. Xx
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You poor thing! Keep your head up!
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I think this will be my last update. There's not...

I think this will be my last update. There's not much more I can offer as far as explant experience goes. What I am going through goes beyond that now.

Neither side of my incisions have healed yet, left side having been 8 plus weeks, and the right side, reopened 5 weeks plus ago is still seeping fluid and blood. I am still on antibiotics.I will never ever regret the explant, but, I would certainly have made other choices in how things were done. Hind sight, as always, is only that. Hind sight.

I will be forever grateful for RealSelf. The ladies here are strong, supportive, and so compassionate. Good luck to all of you in your journeys. Stay strong, and Bless us all. xo

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May God bless you and keep you in his tender care. I am so sorry for your journey thank you for shareing and I pray you will recover fully and take all the time you need to heal. You are beautiful.... Much love to you :)
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i hope everything turns out for the best. i am so sorry for what you are going through. i am sure your body will mend the damage, hopefully very soon. my prayers are with you. even though you have not had physical intimacy with your husband yet, the psychological intimacy and intense bonding when we go through rough times is nothing short of incredible. here's to hoping you get to proper cuddles soon, beautiful lady. thank you for your story.
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Thanks for sharing your story. I will be thinking of you. Best wishes!
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Thanks for those of you concerned for my progress....

Thanks for those of you concerned for my progress. I didn't realize... I'm still struggling to heal. Calcium bits are still pushing out of the left incision and the right incision still has not closed completely. Some days are better than others.

For any ladies who have mentioned my journey causing them doubts, please, the implant removal was very much worth it. But it is so very very very important, to choose a well qualified physician. One who has experience in implants in general. One who has basic knowledge that things can go bad quickly, and act quickly to help rectify it. If you do your homework, unlike myself, you should get through it all just fine!

Blessing to us all. Happy 2013.xo

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Cheers to a wonderful, always-moving-forward 2013 for you! God bless you.
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I've thought about you often and wondered how you are doing. Please don't let this be your last update, just one more when you are completely healed and well. You have been so brave to share your story with us that it would be wonderful if you could also share that joyous day , the one when your surgeon finally tells you that you are fully discharged from his care! Lots of love to you and your very caring husband xxxx
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Thank you Nerja1.I'm still struggling to heal.All I'll say at this point is 'who' we choose to do this procedure on us is so very much more important than I ever knew.Thanks so much for your kind thoughts.

So ladies, All incisions are closed, and ... well....

So ladies, All incisions are closed, and ... well... yeah... new chapters begin. Who knew...

Woo Hoo !!

:D

Thank you RS for everything. xo

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You look great :) I had so many problems with drains, fluid, aspirating too ... but feeling much better now almost 3 weeks. Hope you're past the worst part. Your story helped me a lot over the last few weeks!
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Yup. :( The scar that was leaching off calcium...

Yup. :(
The scar that was leaching off calcium deposits abcessed and will have to be reopened and drains put in.

Will this journey ever end?

I so wish I had had the courage to say no all those years ago.

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Thinking of you and praying that this is the end of all of your problems, my surgeon didn't use drains and even now at 10 weeks post op I have burning pain every day in my right breast. I am having a scan on Tues to see if there is anything going on in there as antibiotics and pain killers have made no difference at all. My implants were removed from behind my muscle and I keep wondering if there might be fluid building up in the cavity as my lymph nodes are enlarged on that side and ache sometimes. I will go back to see my surgeon on 26/2 with the results from the scan and hope that she can tell me that all is well and it's just post op nerve pain. I know that most women, especially you, are very strong but at times we wonder how much more can we tolerate. Hang in there and focus on your good health that will come very soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Sorry to hear your pain .I know were your coming from .I had mine taken out 11wks ago and I have been having pain in both breast but the rt one is leaking what looks like motor oil out of the nipple it is sticky and thick but has no smell so that is a good sign I guess but I go to my PS tomorrow since I have not seen him since he removed them.
Hi, hope that you have luck with ur ps tomorrow. I went for my scan today and was told that there are no swollen lymph nodes under my right arm, this seems odd as I could feel it just before I went into the room. I was told the same thing last year and then my operating surgeon took out a really big one!! I just feel that I am taking steps back instead of moving forward :-( Hopefully we will look back in a couple of months and just be amazed at how far we have come. Let us know how you get on.xx

------------- Had the surgery this morning. This...

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Had the surgery this morning. This time, the pain is almost unbearable. There was a lot of fluid build up and calcium deposits in the pocket of removed tissue. I didn't do as well on recovery today so I have had to have the meds changed. I had soaked through the dressings and my clothes before we even got home today.
I will know better where things are in a few days once the pain settles down. For now, I'm off to rest.

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Hi Relieved 2012, how are you doing>????? xx
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Hello! I haven't checked in here for so long...! I'm on a mild pain medication again, although the drain has been out from this last surgery for a couple weeks now, I am still draining fluid. It builds up in the cavity of the missing tissue area, which was so large we have to gently drain it without doing more damage to the incision. The incision is still open in the area where the drain was, and my right side, from the 2nd surgery is just barely healed shut now. I'm still sleeping sitting up on the couch and to be honest, I'm an emotional wreck. I made so many poor, uninformed choices in this whole thing... I'm almost certain had I made more informed choices from the beginning, I could have been healed and this whole explant a distant memory by now. I hope you're doing well ! I'll go look over your profile and see. Thanks for checking in with me. xo
Hello Relieved 2012, you poor thing! Please don't look back in hindsight---we can all do that. We all have so many regrets. You now have to look forward. Please hang in there. Maybe try to think or plan something in the future to look forward to. I know now you are stuck in a rut and cannot see your way out of this---I am a nurse and i see sinus/ cavity wounds all the time--like you say you have an empty cavity there so stuff will drain---to close can take many weeks--BUT it WILL stop eventually. Soooooo thinking of you xxx take care

I'm headed for help.

Well ladies, almost 4 months after 3rd surgery and I'm just ending another round of antibiotics.
I'm sick, and no one seems to be able to identify now what's causing it. These aren't ghost symptoms, manifesting from all this stress. The symptoms are plenty real, but with no explanation or cause, showing up in blood work etc.
We have decided it's time I go to counseling. I cry almost at the drop of a hat anymore. I have so much anger and sadness locked inside me towards this Dr. that it haunts my every thought day and night. I feel so utterly betrayed. I feel so utterly stupid. This is a nightmare that still, has no end in sight.
Still, to all the ladies thinking about removal, it is 1000 percent worth it. But please, please, please, take your time, and find a very qualified Dr. Not just one you feel you connect with. That, is simply not enough. They have to have a provable track record of this specialty.
Haven't been here for some time, hope some of the gals from my time show up and update sometime.
Bless us all. xo

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I just read your story, sorry to hear about the rough road you've been on. You are a strong lady. I just wanted to share something.... If you would allowe me to.... There is a documentary its called "Hungry for change" I really recomend and encourage you to watch it.... I hape it of some sort of help....? But anyhow I wish you recover soon. And thanks for sharing your story.
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Thank you for your post. I reviewed your suggestion. Although I've had a reasonable healthy diet for some years, I finally chose to use the 'Daily Detox' tea therapy for a month. Within 10 days I was doing much better. I think the residual of all the anesthesia was clogging my blood. xo

Thank you for your update. I'm truly sorry for all your negative feelings. That must be so exhausting. I hope you're able to get healthy and move past this. Virtual hugs!

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Almost 10 months out from first surgery

Almost 10 months from first surgery, and 5 months out from 3rd surgery. Counseling helped a lot in dealing with my anger towards the Dr and his staff. I still have trouble blaming myself for not being more proactive during the months of the open incision, but looking back clearheaded; I was so afraid, and on such head fogging meds for a long time... I'll never forget the importance of researching for a well qualified Dr again in my lifetime.

I'm still having serious discomfort and pain, some days worse than others. I have taken up walking again the past 3 weeks. I've been able to walk on a treadmill slowly working my way up to 2 miles a day again. I can see light at the end of this tunnel, FinallY! I expect it will be close to next spring before I feel reasonably strong again, like before removal, but I feel like I can get there now.

My arm strength is nil. Lol, which is so depressing. Everyday chores I've started doing again just seem to tear scar tissue and make my arms feel like jello. This is my first week of starting some gentle resistance training. Still, one day at a time and never giving up.

As far as breasts go, I love being implant free. The scars are big, and bad but I really don't mind them. It speaks a truth to all the pain this past year has been for me and my family. I have very little feeling in any area of the breast tissue at this point. After all the cutting and scrapping I don't know if I can expect this to change someday in the future or not. I don't really care though, they're free of toxic foreign objects and that's most important. My self image is great. I haven't felt this good about my physical appearance since before the implants were put in. Ever once in a while my husband and I admire the poor creatures and give them a gentle cuddle. :) It's a start. :)

It's been a long year. A hard year. But I have hope that the REST of my life, can only be so much better.

I haven't had any contact with the Dr. since mid-March when he suggested I take break from seeing him... I haven't decided yet if I'm going back for help with the remaining pain yet. I might find a different PS for that.

Thanks for all the concern and support Ladies. I could not have held it together nearly so well without you all, and RealSelf. Happy healing to all. Will check in again in a few months. xo

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Thank you so much for sharing your story! 2nd littlehugger883!
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Wow. Your story brought me to tears. To hear your hope and then all the complications, fear filled painful months, and months, and months. God bless you! You are one tough cookie. I am hoping and praying that this time....you will get to begin again...you soooo deserve freedom from this nightmare. Bless your husband too, he is definitely your champion. xoxox
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Oct will be a year out.

Well ladies, RealSelf, it's been a journey.

I'm starting to feel 'normal'. Whatever that means. My scars are finally healing nicely. I'm treading everyday 3-5 miles and feeling healthier every morning.

I love being implant free. I love going out in public now. Feel no embarrassment. I can wear real clothes, that fit. And there's a king bed in our house that I sleep in now. :) Jammie free. :)

Oh, and isn't hugging just the best thing in the world now!

Thank you so much for all your support here. I really think I'd have lost my mind without having all these journeys to share and learn from.

Bless - us - all ! xoxo - And the best of luck to all the ladies now, and in the future traveling this road.

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You are a courageous woman! My goodness! What a story! I wish you all the best!
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2 Years Out

Hello Ladies, and Angie! I thought I'd send some encouragement for the women on their journeys today. Go for it. :) It's the best decision I ever made.

I love how natural feels, and looks. I'm still very noticeably 'deformed' on the left breast but, who's looking? lol.

99% of my pains, and tiredness are still gone. The only causes of them now are identifiable illnesses. I would encourage anyone considering removal to forge ahead and believe in yourself. It's really a life changing decision. In a GOOD way.

For RS and my fellow group who may still peek in here, They found 2 more tumors early this year. One on my liver, and one on my bladder. I will not go through any more surgery. I refuse. My wonderful Hubby has quit his job and takes wonderful care of me. Our life is whole and blessed with each other.

Courage my dear ladies. Stay strong and confident in your judgement in what is best for You. This Forum is powerful in helping us cope in those moments we feel alone. God Bless RS. xo

Please join RealSelf or sign in.

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Sorry For the Double Post-2 Years Out

Hello Ladies, and Angie! I thought I'd send some encouragement for the women on their journeys today. Go for it. :) It's the best decision I ever made.

I love how natural feels, and looks. I'm still very noticeably 'deformed' on the left breast but, who's looking? lol.

99% of my pains, and tiredness are still gone. The only causes of them now are identifiable illnesses. I would encourage anyone considering removal to forge ahead and believe in yourself. It's really a life changing decision. In a GOOD way.

For RS and my fellow group who may still peek in here, They found 2 more tumors early this year. One on my liver, and one on my bladder. I will not go through any more surgery. I refuse. My wonderful Hubby has quit his job and takes wonderful care of me. Our life is whole and blessed with each other.

Courage my dear ladies. Stay strong and confident in your judgement in what is best for You. This Forum is powerful in helping us cope in those moments we feel alone. God Bless RS. xo

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You are so encouraging! My favorite quote: " It seemed perfectly normal for breasts to become well loved and used up after doling out so much love and nurturing. Kind of like a favorite blanket..."
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Thank you for sharing your story. Your a great example of strength for all of us on here.
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