Ready to Feel/look Like a Woman - Atlanta, GA

I'm not really sure how to blog, but here goes...

I'm not really sure how to blog, but here goes nothing!! I am 31 and a mother of 5. I birthed 4 of them and 2 being twins. My body has been put thru the ringer to say the least! I had my 3 big kids by the time I was 20. I have wanted to get implants since 2001. I had a great body (and boobs) before children. Now in my eyes I think I look awful in a mirror. I am covered in stretch marks and tiny boobs. My husband ( LOVE HIM BUNCHES) thinks I am amazing just how I am. This surgery will be for me and how I feel about myself.

I am sure I am not the only one to feel this way, but when the time is right with your husband, boyfriend, spouse...etc... I myself did not like him to touch my boobs. I guess because I know how small they are and how uncomfortable I am with them. I guess I felt like he would feel like I am less of a woman because of it. It takes so much courage just to be naked in the light in front of him. I have to say my husband has done an amazing job of making me feel as comfortable as I can be in front of someone else naked. I am still very unhappy and uncomfortable looking in the mirror without clothes. I really just want to feel like a woman. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I think having this done will help me a lot. I am 5'0-5'1 and 125-130lbs.

The Dr says I am a Neg B. I am planning on getting 400cc. I am going under the muscle with Mentor memory gel. I go in this Friday Feb 17 for my pre-op. My surgery is going to be on Feb 23. I will NOT be getting a pain pump. It was offered and I decided not to get it. I hope that was the right decision..... I have been feeling lots of anxiety. Throwing up when I think about it and walking circles around my house. What eased me was reading post on here and watching videos on youtube. I am much better today than I was yesterday. I found zip up sports bras at Wal-Mart and I plan on getting those. I am also gonna get button up PJ'S. I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU!!! All of the post. This site at helped me more than I can say!!! Thank you all so much for all of your post and comments!!

I had my aug last Friday, I understand the anxiety completely. My stomach was in knots, I couldn't eat properly, it was terrible. Ask your PS for Xanax and take it nightly about 3 nights before, if you have to take half a pill the day before, I promise it's so worth it. I used the last ones this week to sleep and as a muscle relaxer.

You'll have great results. I nursed my kids for 18 and 16 months, I used to have nice boobs but not after that!

The night before, take some time to stretch, close your eyes, breathe an visualize how you're going to look in the Summer by the pool. Picture the way you want to look. It helps get you centered.

I'm so happy I did it, but last week I was having a hard time with it, I know how you feel!!!!!
I have been put to sleep before... That's why I'm not so sure why I am freaking out this much. I have pre-op this morning. I was up at 1am thinking about it. When I got out of bed it took everything I had not to throw up. I have been throwing up when I think about it. It's awful!!! I will for sure ask my PS today about some Xanax or something like it. Thank you for the tips!!!
I myself have 2 children, 2 and 5 year old. I am 5'1 and 125. I have choosen to go with 420 cc saline under the muscle and am scheduled for 22 Feb. I found this website to be very helpful with what you need before and after surgery. Good luck

Today was my pre-op. It went well. I decided for...

Today was my pre-op. It went well. I decided for sure on 400cc. I am kinda starting to doubt it though. It just looks really big. Everyone I have shown the pic to says they look perfect. Mt PS gave me some meds.... Not really as much as I wanted :) I was hoping for something to help me sleep after and he said no.

I then went to the hospital to do my pre-op with them. Everyone seemed really nice and understanding. I am still nervous though. I am a little bit more excited than I was yesterday or the day before that. It's just a waiting game now. I have to be at the hospital at 6am and surgery at 8am (est).

I guess it's time to start getting everything I need!!!
what i was told is you have to remember that its going behind your muscle. They always look bigger with the implant in a sports bra. i think they'll look nice and you'll be happy

So it's 4 days till my surgery. I am having a...

So it's 4 days till my surgery. I am having a "freak out" moment right now. I know I will be ok though. I had pre-op on Friday. They said I am in really good health and I will come out of this with flying colors...and boobies :) I am a little worried though about going 400cc. I don't want to look fake. I want to look as real as I can plus I want to have the bounce action still. I think that 400cc might take that away from me. Anyone with pointers please help!!! You can look at my pic and kinda judge. I am pushing 5'1 and I am 130lbs. I am looking for ANY outside options on this whole matter. I am getting Mentor Memory Gel under the muscle. Everyone says they are smaller once in than when I am wearing the sizer. I guess we will see....
Are you getting high profile or mod plus? That will make somewhat of a difference but I recommend trying on the sizers with some of your shirts. I just had surgery thursday and went with 475cc HP Mentor silicone gel. I think 400cc is a safe size for your height, but you have to go with your instincts!!
I am getting HP. My PS said that is the only kind that will fit my frame. I have heard that you will be smaller after you get them than what you look like in the sizer. How much truth do you think there is to that? Help!! That is what I am freaking out about is size. I really do not want to look like a crazy porn
Don't worry!!! The docs are experts, they know what will look good, I told my doc no coconut boobs for me!!! Also remember, ur boobs right after surgery will not be the final look. What i did is look at as many pics of women straight after surgery so I could be prepared for these "high riders" and take a look at how their boobs change with time. You will be fine!!!

I really did not expect getting implants would be...

I really did not expect getting implants would be such an emotional roller coaster. I am almost drained. I know I have done it to myself. I guess I am just over thinking every tiny detail about all of it. Everything from start to finish. I know I am driving my husband crazy by now. God bless him for putting up with me and still being my biggest supporter!! I know he will be happy when they are in and I am not in pain. I will be too though. I am really just ready to get some sleep. I am over waking up all night nervous thinking about this. The surgery is in 3 days and I can feel the stress.

I do have my list ready to go. I just need to grab a few last things and get to packing my bag.... Nervous but excited!!! WOW... I can't believe I am gonna have boobs this week. I am really gonna look/feel like a girl!!!

I spoke with my PS today and talked about the size...

I spoke with my PS today and talked about the size. We decided that 400cc will look good. They made me feel much better. They also told me to start taking my anxiety med. I took it about an hour ago and it is working!!! Now I am doing the last tweets to my list and gonna go get everything tomorrow. The excitement is really starting to kick in. After looking at more pic today I think I will look good. I am pretty sure I am to the point where I am ready now. My doubts are gone :) 3 days and counting!!!
Hi B4M;

Congratulations on doing this for yourself! I'm a 40-year old mother of 3 and I know how hard it is to do *anything* for yourself so, good for you! I am also 7-days post op today and have a couple of comments based on my recent experience. The first is in regards to your drive home on day 4. By day 4, I was feeling vastly better and on day 5 I started doing a little more around the house. Well, that was obviously a mistake because on the morning of day 6, I woke up in excruciating pain and I think I may have pulled or damaged something inside. I'm going to see my PS today but I feel like I'm back to square one again after recovering for a week. Is there any way you can get your MIL to get you to the interstate and a friend to come meet you at the interstate on the other end. I know you still need to shift gears to get going but there will be less turning and up and down shifting. Just a thought - I was not expecting to injure myself and now I've set back my recovery by 1-2 weeks!

Like you, I also spent lots of time online looking at before and after photos trying to decide on size and my PS said something that really resonated with me. She said that it's a lot easier to make breasts look larger with bras and clothing but it's harder to make larger breasts look smaller. She recommended that I err on the smaller size for that reason. I'm 5'5 and 105 lbs and went with 225cc - so far, I'm very happy with that choice.

Very best of luck to you! I'll be thinking of you on Thursday.

I think you'll be happy with the 400s. It looks like you have plenty of skin and tissue to cover so they won't look stuffed in. I honestly could've jumped up to a 450-500 and probably still felt in proportion. 

I hope so. I just my biggest fear is looking like a crazy porn star. I want my boobies to bounce when I I want them to look and feel as real as possible.

So its the night before the surgery. I made it to...

So its the night before the surgery. I made it to my I'm laws house. Now its time to get something yummy and warm to eat. Then shower and take something to make me sleep. I have to be at the hospital by 6:30am. I am pretty calm at the moment. Kinda sad my husband is not going to be able to be with me.... Hold my hand.... Rub my head..... Tell me he loves me.... Tell me how beautiful I am :-) He is a pretty awesome guy though. He is gonna stay home with all 5 kids so I can go away and have this done. It will be quiet and I will be able to sleep. I have an amazing mother in law and she is gonna take care of me while I am down. I will be looking forward to making it back home. It's countdown time ladies!!!! 12hrs from now I will be sitting waiting to go back. Bags are packed and ready to go. Wish me luck and please sneak a prayer in for me. Oh and small prayer the husband makes it 5 days with 5 kids alone with me!!!! I will update tomorrow.

Today is the big day!!! Wish me luck. We are...

Today is the big day!!! Wish me luck. We are sitting at the hospital waiting to be called back.

Everything went great!! I have been in bed...

Everything went great!! I have been in bed resting. I did not get sick any..yay!!! I have to say I am a pretty good amount of pain. Not looking forward to tomorrow cause everyone says it hurts worse then. I will post so pic prob Monday after I get back home. I need to lay back down.
Good luck today! You're going to look fabulous!
Thank you!!! I have decided I have felt this pain before. It just just like when your milk comes in. To bad cabbage can't help me this time.

It's the day after. I'm in a good amount of pain....

It's the day after. I'm in a good amount of pain. I have not been able to sleep. Between hurting and itching all over. Not sure what the itching is from. I am excited I have boobs now!!! I look down and its almost like its not real. I guess because I have wanted them for so long. Now I have them!!!
Wow! I'm so glad I foung you B4M! I have had crazy anxiety the last few weeks. I went for my pre-op on Feb. 16th and I'm having my surgery on the 1st of March. I'm so happy to hear the relief you have had now that you're finished with the surgery end of things. I feel like I can't stop thinking and talking about boobies! I'm on RealSelf every spare chance I get so I can get it out of my system and not bug my husband so much, although I'm sure he's just as excited as I am. lol. I totally scoured my kitchen yesterday down to cleaning my spice rack to see if the time would go by any faster, it didn't help. Yesterday was the longest day EVER! I can't wait to be on the flip side where you and a lot of the other women I've been chatting with are. Congrats again on the girls. One more thing, the itching. I always itch after anesthesia. It happened with both of my epidurals and when I had my appendix removed. I don't know if you're still having problems with it or not.
*found where's the spell check when I need it?!
This web site has been a life saver for me!!! I was so excited when I came across it. I know I was driving my husband crazy. All I talked about was how nervous and excited I was. The itching has not gone away. That is what's bothering me the most at this moment. My chest is pretty tight. It feels like I just had a baby and my milk is coming in. It's not crazy bad pain. It does hurt though. When I went to have the surgery done I wore my button up pjs and slippers. I also had a zip up hoodie. Baby wipes and face cleaning wipes have came in handy. After just laying in the same spot for hours you start feeling kinda gross. I have also noticed my mouth is so dry!!! It still is. Make sure you have lots of water and straws. I also started loading up on lotion on the girls a few days before hand. I figured it would help with the stretching process. Good luck with yours!!!

Well it has been 2 days since my BA. I have to say...

Well it has been 2 days since my BA. I have to say this is no where as painful as I thought it was gonna be. The worst part was all the itching. I figured out today why I was itching so much. They gave me that patch to put behind my ear to help me from throwing up. I guess my body did not like it. My neck is messed up where the patch was. I took it off after my shower and now I am pretty much itch free... YAY!!! I got to take a shower this morning.... Ahhhh it was so nice. I showered alone with no help. I have been up walking around. I feel great. It kinda feels funny when I push on the top of the implant. It weirds me out. The sound it makes and how it feels. I still have made it home so my husband has only seen one pic of the girls. I am thinking I will be good to drive. I'm going to drive to my dads house and stay there tomorrow. He lives closer to my Dr and Atl traffic is awful. I look forward to seeing my PS and hearing what he has to say. I am most of all ready to go home. I will keep everyone updated on my pain levels and what the Doc says.
I'm so happy to hear you're having a pretty good recovery, itching aside... :) I know you had a lot of anxiety before surgery. How is your anxiety now? I know you said it weirds you out a bit to feel and hear the sounds of your implants. Has that caused you any anxiety? Right now I feel really calm thinking about surgery. The only thing I'm the least bit nervous about is how I'll feel after surgery to have the implant in my body. Hopefully being on the pain meds will dull my senses for long enough to get used to the girls being bigger. :)
I can tell something is in there but it is not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. It also helps that my boobs are still pretty numb. My PS tested them yesterday. he did not seem to worried about it but he did say he was going to test them again next Monday. The thing I feel the most is pressure. It's a little hard to breathe at times and the girls are REALLY tight when I stand up from laying down for a while.
Hi B4Mama!! Congrats on your surgery!!! Its nice to see another person from Atlanta on here...can't wait to see pictures. I am sure you look Fab!!!

So I had my post-op yesterday. Yesterday was a...

So I had my post-op yesterday. Yesterday was a really (hard) bad day for me. I had not really slept at all. I started my period the morning of surgery. I also quit smoking the day before surgery. I had been away from my home and my family for 5 days... Plus just having my BA had taken it's toll on me. Plus I had heard you get a little depressed. I also had to drive home (2 hrs) alone yesterday... Yup the 6-speed. I think it is safe to say my world crashed yesterday. I could not even talk to my PS. I just cried. I could not take anything for pain because I was driving. I was able to tell him my problems and he told me to quit taking all meds I had. He then wrote me some scripts for something new plus something to make me sleep. Then came the fun part. We have to start rubbing the girls. This was not really a rub though. He pushed pretty hard on the bottom of my boob for 10 sec. Oh yeah LOTS of water works... By the time he was done with the other boob the nurse was crying just watching me.

I went to my car and sat there about 10-15 min and just cried. I questioned myself A LOT yesterday. I was wondering why I did this. I was thinking it's not worth all of this stuff I am having to go thru. When I got home I told my husband if I would have known it was going to be like this I WOULD NOT have went thru with the surgery. I am not happy with the way it has made me feel or look. I did not even want my husband to look at me. He walked in the bathroom after I got out of the shower and I covered up. I know they are swollen and they look weird right now. Everyone says it will go away and I will love my new girls in a few weeks. I sure hope so cause yesterday I was thinking of when the soonest is I can get them taken out.

Today is a little better. I am alone once again so I have lots of time to think and look at myself in the mirror..... Lets hope this is just a crazy depressed spell I am having.
Hi B4M, hang in there honey!!! I also had some tough times after the surgery, wondering if I made the right decision etc. but each day gets better and I am starting to fall in love with my boobies!!! Remember you had to quit smoking so your nerves are probably going crazy, the nicotinic receptors are crying out for nicotine, it's a natural response and therefore you mood is altered. Stay strong, we are here for you!

It breaks my heart to read your latest update. As Girlymama said, this is an emotional process as much as it is physical. Take some deep breaths and try to hold off full judgement of your results for at least a few weeks. 

I could feel one of my implants move for at least 3 weeks, and the whole time I kept wondering if I'd feel that the rest of my life and would it be worth it... then of course, the feeling started to go away and as of 4 weeks post-op I hard notice it, even when sleeping braless. The same thing happened when I had the burning/tingling sensation of the nerves stretching and adjusting. 

Also I can relate to the painful massages -- when my PS did it I couldn't fathom having to push that hard on myself for 5 weeks. I had to take deep breaths like when being waxed. To be honest, in the first week I felt like my boobs were more tender because of all the massaging. But that too went away, and now the massages feel really good -- I'm almost addicted to them! 

If you have time you should put in your favorite happy movie or curl up and read your most heart-warming book. It seems like forever now but the day will come soon when you are healed and happy! 

Just read your update, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. You ARE going to feel much better after you've recovered but you need to give your body and mind time to adjust. It is depressing having any changes to your normal state, because you want to get up and go and get over the pain and nausea etc, but your body needs to heal. Take some Xanax to get the nerves calm, get some sleep, your boobs will look different when they've had time to settle, so don't be freaked out. You've gone through a lot of changes, but you're going to be ok!!!! I remember looking at myself after I gave birth and crying, thinking I will never feel or look normal again! Bodies are amazingly resilient so focus on getting yourself mentally relaxed. Just takes time, go easy on yourself. Not everyone heals the same but it's just as much emotional as it is physical. Hang in

Thank you Makenzie and Twins4Me!!! Thank you for...

Thank you Makenzie and Twins4Me!!! Thank you for kind up lifting words. It helped reading them. I read up on depression after surgery. I guess it's a pretty common thing. Today was a good day. I talked to my husband and he took half a day and spent it with me so I would not be alone all day. It helped just having someone here to talk to.

Yesterday was the twins 11th birthday and I stayed in my room with the door closed all day. I came out long enough to watch them eat a cup cake. I felt so mean. I could not help it though. I did not want to even be around my own kids yesterday. I had a few friends stop by and bring dinner, cup cakes and flowers... I did not even want to see them.

My husband came into the room last night and talked to me. I tried on a few of my shirts and it made my husband "Happy" to say the least. Just seeing his reaction to my new look made the world of difference. Today I love them a little more. I have not cried today and have not thought about when I can get them taken out. So I guess that means it was a good day. I am trying to keep my eye on the prize... My new look. I think now I am just read for the big lump on each side under my chin to go Plus I think they are to far apart. I know they will fall into place I guess I am just really bad at the waiting game.

Thank you again for the kind up lifting words... They helped me out tons!!! I will keep you guys posted and I will get some post op pic on here. I will try to get them on tonight.
I have been following your story quite closely and I am so very sorry for what you are going through. You havent posted anything in a while so I am really hoping that you have finally come to love your new breasts! We are thinking of you and hope to hear an update soon!

Still thinking of you B4M! I hope in the past week things have brightened up. Looking forward to your next update <3

Oh sweetie I hope you feel better sooon! Post some pix! It is a big change but you have to give it time! Plus we are women, what aren't we emotional about! I freaked out when I first got my done,then I got used to the swollen massive boobs, then they fell into place and I wished I would have went bigger.... hehe... YOu will get used to them. Your husband sounds like a sweetie! Hang in there sweetie! Sending prayers of peace your way! I agree with Makenzie... grab a feel good movie and curl up with a good movie and relax sweetie!

So I went to see my PS on Monday. He took my...

So I went to see my PS on Monday. He took my stitches out and he said the girls look great!! I had a very rough few days after surgery. I can now talk about it. I am in my right mind and not on any meds and I have slept :) YAY for SLEEP!!!! I think that was my biggest problem was I was not able to sleep at all. Maybe 20 min at a time then I would be up for a few hours before I could get another 20 min. It was VERY rough on myself and everyone around me.I also did some looking around on the web and found it's very common to have post op depression. I cried a lot and really wanted these implants out of my body. I am not really sure why I wanted them out. I mean it's not like they were really hurting. This whole process was way more emotional than physical for me. The pain was nothing I had not felt before. It feels just like your milk coming in after you have a baby. I am a mother of 5 so I know that feeling well. It was about 2 days of trying to stay up right. One word of advice if you are getting a new set of girls..... DO NOT LAY FLAT!!!! The same as when your milk comes in. It's just a bad idea to lay flat for any period of time!! I still have a few issues with it. Only when I wake up in the mornings and I am 2 weeks post op now.

I can say now that I LOVE MY NEW GIRLS!!!!!!! They are AMAZING!!! I am now wearing a regular bra (without a wire). I got to see a few friends the past few days for the first time since before surgery. They all are in wow over my new look. Some have told me... "I am sorry but I can't help but to just look at your boobs. They look great." Also I went to lunch with my sister on Monday. The cook even came out of the kitchen and had to comment on how I had great boobs!!! Then I walked by a dirty old man... He stood up looked at me and said Hubba Hubba... Really? OMG!!!

I am gearing up today for a nice vacation. I am jumping on the Harley with my husband tomorrow and we are going to Bike Week in Daytona, Fl for the next 5 days. I'm so excited... I get to show off the new girls. I will not be driving myself crazy thinking my husband is looking at all the hot girls with big boobs down there cause I will be one of those girls for the first time in my life!!! Getting boobs has helped my self esteem out so much. I feel like a real woman now. I look like a real woman now. I don't have to shop in the little girls dept for padded bras anymore. It's such a great thing!!! My size at the moment is 36C. We will see if it changes once they drop more and get snuggled into their new resting place.

I am gonna try to post some pic today when my husband gets home.
YAY!!!! Glad you are feeling better and your new girls look great!!! have fun at the Bike Week. Thank you for your transparency... I now know that if I do feel down about my surgery that it will pass !! have fun!!!
Thank you!! It was rough for me but it did pass. Just know if you do get down your not alone. I will help talk ya thru it. Now its time to hit the beach and show off the girls!!!
I just read thru your review. It reminds me of post partum depression. Ha ha I had a bit of that after my boys. Not bad, I refused to let it get out of control. It is good to know that some of the discomfort is similar to your milk coming in. I just went thru that last year so hope recovery will go well for me. I am blessed to have plenty of help after surgery. The big day for me is tomorrow. Thanks for sharing ur story.

So tomorrow I will be 1 month post op. Things are...

So tomorrow I will be 1 month post op. Things are great!! The trip was awesome!! I was sore though after the ride back. 75 North in South Georgia is no joke... I think the only thing I am having a problem with since my BA is sleeping. I have not been able to sleep a solid night. I wake up at least 5 times a night. My PS also gave me sleeping pills. They help for about 3 hours then I am up again. It's hard for my to get comfy. I can only lay one way for a short amount of time then the girls start hurting so I wake up and have to move.

I went to see my PS on Monday. I am having an issue with my left one. It hurts and it does not have any feeling from the nipple down. I guess he also got a little air in that one during surgery. I have an air bubble and it feels really weird. It has been there about 2 weeks now. He said it will take a few months for it to go away and for me to get feeling in my left breast. I told him that the left one is the red headed step The right one is perfect. 100% feeling all over.. No air bubbles and no pain at all. I would think it would have been the other way around since my right one was a little smaller. I guess not.

I go back in 2 weeks for my final check up!! I will get all my before and after pics. He told me that they look and feel great so I am sure my last check up will go great.
I just wanted to pipe in and say that after all you went through, it wasn't in vain. You look fantastic!
I also wanted to say too that if it's any consolation at all, your before really wasn't as horrible as you seemed to think they were.
But who doesn't want fuller boobies!? Haha, I DO!
Thanks for sharing your story, and glad you are happy now, hope mine end up as great~
I followed your story very closely since you and I had alot of the same issues. You had me worried for a while there I must admit lol reading about your depression really scared me because I was due to have my BA shortly after you posted that and then you disappered for a while. I am SOOOOO glad to see that you are enjoying your new boobies. We can all expect to have some issues after surgery, these doctors can only do so much :/ But you really do look AMAZING!!! After what you went through I hope you are able to get past all the little bumps in the road and fully enjoy them. Glad to hear you are doing much better!!! Lots of Love from Laredo :)

I went for my 6 week check up on Monday. My PS...

I went for my 6 week check up on Monday. My PS told me to keep doing whatever it is that I am doing because it's working and the girls look GREAT!!! They both have already dropped into place too!! I was so happy when he told me that.

The funny thing is.... I don't have lots of time to rub the girls. I will do it between 2-4 times a day. Sometimes I only do it once a day. I guess it's working for me though. I just have to work on getting them to sit closer together. They have moved in closer since my BA. I ran thru the house yesterday and they bounced!!! Now THAT IS EXCITING!!!! They are starting to get pretty soft too. I know they still have quite a ways to go until they are as soft as they are gonna get.

I am so happy I had this done. Yes it was hard right after, but 110% worth it!!! I would do it all over again. I just had to get thru the hard part. I feel like a new woman. I love the way I look!!! Now if we could just work on a tummy tuck to get rid of the battle scars the twins left on me I would be great!!
You have no idea how much I appreciate your complete honesty. My date is March 4, and we're similar in build. Anyway, thank you for sharing the good, bad and ugly of your journey! You look fantastic!
Good! cause so far I'm loving the way the look - minus the bulge though ;)
Oh my god. A year! Well I think I can deal with the feeling part. I just hope I don't feel these little pains for a year. My biggest part is this swelling/bulge at the top. I don't like the way it looks
Sheldon Lincenberg

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
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