Nervous and Excited to Get to the Flat Side - Anchorage, AK

So, I've been reading everyone's stories/experiences here for about a month now and have decided it's time to share.
On August 3rd I'll have a full TT, BL and Lipo of my flanks. I have never had a flat belly. I remember looking in the mirror as a child and wondering if I was pregnant. I of course didn't understand how people got that way, LOL! I always had this pooch.
In my early 20s I started drinking A LOT and ballooned up to 200 from 145 in a matter of about 6 months. That's when I got all the stretch marks. I continued my unhealthy ways until about 3 years ago at which point I quit drinking and lost about 70 pounds (my highest weight was 235). That has left me with horrible sagging skin around the middle. The good thing is that my arms and legs seem to have faired ok so once I have the procedures I should look pretty good. I have a lot of guilt about having the surgery because I feel likes it's my fault that I got this way and that I don't deserve anything good from all the pain and worry I've put my loved ones through. I think it's all part of being an alcoholic. There is a lot of guilt there.
My family is AMAZING. They are all so happy and supportive of me. I've been with my husband for 12 years now and he is awesome. I don't think I'd be where I am today without him. After hearing me complain about my middle for years he finally told me to get the consult and go for it. So I had my consult last month and my ps said I have the ideal body for it and that it would be a "home run". I was so happy to hear that.
My ps is Jana Cole here in Anchorage. My bestie had Dr. Cole do her TT and augmentation a few years ago and highly recommended her. I am happy that I have a woman ps. I have always been more comfortable with women providers. She made me feel at ease and I have a good feeling about her. Well, I guess that's it in a nutshell. I look forward to reading more of your stories and getting to know some of you.

I will add my before pics soon. I just have to take them.

I'm getting to the point where I'm worrying about things. Should I be doing this or not doing that. I'm sure it's completely normal. I'm not planning to spend the night in the hospital (it's another 1000 bucks) and I'm hoping that's not a mistake. My bestie who did this a few years ago didn't and she was fine, of course she had an RN friend of ours to help her.
I keep reading about arnica and vitamins and a lot of people seem to be taking them. My surgeon hasn't said anything about it. I'm thinking about calling and asking about it. My pre-op appt isn't until the first which is only 2 days before surgery and that's a little late to start anything. The other thing I'm a little worried about is the constipation. I am chronically constipated and only go once or twice a week so what's gonna happen when I add pain killers? Just another thing to discuss with Doc. Guess I need to start a list of things to chat about. LOL. . I am such a worrier.

I am trying to post my before pics but they all came out sideways when I posted them here. Guess I'll have to work on that and see if I can fix them. I'm working on a brand new lap top which is a Mac. It's my first time with a Mac and I don't really know what I'm doing yet.. ; )

Post-op day 3. Doing better than I'd expected. I am a little bit sore where I had lipo but it's not so bad. The bruising sure is pretty. I think the worse part are the drains. The ones in my groin pinch when I move around. Oh, and the binder is super tight. I'm looking forward to having that taken of. I go back on Monday for my first Post-op and I think they'll remove the breast drains and give me a new binder.
I haven't pooed yet. I bought a laxative but i'm not sure I'd be able to wipe myself Gross, I know.
I'm hoping to wash my hair in the sink today. Oh, and I've been itching a lot. I don't know what that's from but it's the pits.
I'll get some after picks later but right now I'm all bindered up and can't see anything. ttfn

So here it is day three after surgery. I woke up pretty sore an nauseated today. Blah! I'm counting down the hours before I can see my doc. I'd like to see what's going on under the bandages, and hopefully she can do something about the drain that is pinching me.
I think it will be nice to get outside for a bit.
My hubs has to go back to work today and he's the one paying attention to med and drain times. Hopefully my mom and I can figure it out. He really wants me to stop taking the valium because it makes me loopy but I don't know if that's a good idea. It helps me rest. The percoset does nothing for me as far as sleep.

Post op day 5 and doing well. I think yesterday over did it a bit, I went to the grocery shopping. Last night i was paying for it. i was pretty sore. Meds are kicking in so I'll write more later!

I have had a rough couple of days. I ended up getting a cold 2 days ago (fever and all) that really knocked me down. I haven't really been the same since. I was doing so well the first few days, doing everything i was told and 2 days ago I just seem to go off the rails. I had this horrible gas that started about the same time as the cold but last night it morphed into full blown diarrhea. It's the worst smelling stuff ever. I even had an accident on myself this morning. I am so down in the dumps. I have no energy or motivation. I think part of the problem is that I miss my mom. She went back home on Friday. My dad has parkinson's so he needs her too. My husband tries but he has no patience and just doesn't know what to do. Yesterday I had a crying jag for no apparent reason. I couldn't figure out how to put my binder on. He came in to help but started yelling at me because he didn't know what to do. Finally he figured it out but I still had a little mental break down. I wonder if the addict part of me misses the drugs? Maybe the percocet and valium made things feel better? Hubs cut me off of the valium cause it reminded him too much of me drunk.
I don't know..I just have no energy. Anyone else having this much trouble on week 2?

It's been awhile since I've posted and I'm going to attempt to post some after pics. All in All I'm very pleased with everything. I love my new body. I still have stretch marks because I had them so bad before and others probably won't have them afterward but I'm still very happy.

Today I am experiencing some anxiety. I think it's work nerves. I do not want to go back. I think it has to do with my anxiety disorder and embarrassment. Most of my co-workers don't know what type of surgery I had. I worry about stupid stuff like will they be able to see my binder. UGH, why do I even care. I"m sure I'll be fine after the first day. I am also going to have to rely on co-workers to lift and carry heavy boxes for me. I"m afraid I don't try to do it myself. I hate asking others to do things for me. What is that? Pride? Seriously, who wants to carry these heavy boxes around? That's part of my job. I am grateful though to my co-worker, Melody, who has been holding down the fort for me. Evidently she is kicking ass.
Yesterday I got an awesome new sports bra I think it's called Endure by Under Armour. This thing means business. The bras I got from Doc didn't offer much in the way of support. I like feeling all 'tucked in'. Not sure I'd where it to work though it kinda gives me the ole' uniboob. LOL.. I also got 2 new compression garments. Much prettier than the Doc version. I hope less obvious too. Well, it's time for hubby to get home so I'll go bother him now instead.

So it's the Sunday before I go back to work (off for 3 weeks) and I am sooooo nervous. I'd say I'm more nervous then I was the day before the procedures. I wonder if anyone else felt like this? I guess I just don't want a bunch of questions about where I've been and what I've had done. Most folks only know that I had some kind of surgery. Deep breath. I just took a Xanax. I hate to do that but I felt like I was hyperventilating a bit. It's going to be extremely busy at work so maybe I can keep my head down and just work. I'm finding it hard to believe I'm so jittery. Nobody will be able to tell the difference since I'm in the same old clothes. I think the medication will calm me down and I can look at things differently.

So it was back to work for me today. I just got home and wow, I am sore and swollen! I guess I didn't realize how inactive I'd been for the last 3 weeks. At work, I'm up, down, bending, etc..Jeez! The first thing I did when I got home was undo my compression garment and put an ice pack on my belly. Maybe that will help. When dinner is ready I will take some Motrin for the pain and swelling. The other craziness was the first half of my day I felt like I was drugged. I couldn't get my brain to engage. It was so strange. I had to re-read things over and over and some of them I just had to give up on and toss back into the to do pile. I'm hoping they will make sense a different day. LOL!! My thinking is that it's because I haven't used my brain for tasking or problem solving for 3 weeks. It can't be the anesthesia this far out can it? Friday will be 4 weeks out! I hope this doesn't last. I felt like a total space cadet. My co-workers had a good time rubbing me about it. They were really happy to have me back. It was nice to be wanted even if I was a little spacy all morning. I'm hoping tomorrow goes better for me. Maybe I should have taken them up on the half days idea. ???

I woke up today with what feels like a pulled muscle in my abdomen to the right of my new belly button. It reminds me of the feeling I had the first few days. It's painful to get up, sit down, laugh, cough. I'm going to stay home today from work to 'rest' and I hope this isn't a mistake. I just cannot imagine trying to work with this soreness. I'm waiting for a call back from my boss. I'd like to know if I'm still under FMLA or if that stopped the day I came back to work. I'll know more in a couple of hours and hopefully will be less stressed. I just don't want to get into trouble with work. I have SOOO much to do but I don't want to make things worse. To be continued....

So I spoke to the doc office and was told that this muscle pull was pretty routine but that if it still hurts tomorrow I'll need to be seen. My boss was very understanding and said to take it easy. I do believe she means that. I feel very fortunate to have an understanding boss. So, I have taken ibuprofen and am taking it easy outside in the sunshine. The sun always makes me feel better. Nothing like a little Vit D therapy. We are losing our summer quickly here so I must enjoy what's left. It was supposed to get below freezing last night. Not sure what it did since I didn't go out first thing this morning. It's feels good now. I'd guess it's in the high 50's but I'm in the direct southern exposure light so it's strong and glorious. Guess I'll go take the rest of the day nice and easy.

So I returned to work today and was sent home by the boss at noon. She said she could tell I was still hurting and wincing and wanted me to re-coop over the long weekend. ( I have tomorrow off). At least I got a few things accomplished while I was there. I am beginning to get a complex when it comes to work since I'm not pulling my weight. My co-workers are acting like saints and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can they really be this supportive? So far they are. I really do feel grateful for everything. Everyone in my life has been so supportive and helpful. So I have a 4 day weekend to rest up and take things easy. I'm looking forward to it.

Yesterday I had an appointment with a Nurse Practitioner that I see for Botox. She asked to see my results and the first thing she did was poke at the swelling right above my pubic area and say'what is that?'. Now I'm super self-conscious. I was told by the ps that it is swelling because my drains came out prematurely. My nurse prac said 'you know that is going to take 6 months to go away'. Anyway. It kinda got me down. Evidently the nurse prac does not care for my ps. My ps did some work on her daughter's arm that didn't come out very well. I'm trying not to let it get to me. But of course now I wonder if it's just swelling or if it's something else. I will see my ps on Wed and I'm going to try to get to the bottom of it. From what I understand if something is not quite right they will correct at no cost to me. At least this happened to a co-worker of mine. We shall see!

So this coming Friday will be week 6 for me! Wow time flies! I cannot believe it's been that long already. I have a couple of seeping wounds along my incision sights. I have 2 very small ones on my tummy scar near my right hip and one larger one at the T scar on my left breast that's oozing green pus. I spoke to the Doc about it on Tuesday and she put me back on antibiotics and explained that the sutures are supposed to come up to the surface on their own but a few of mine didn't and were festering. She pulled them out with tweezers (no it didn't hurt) and asked that I don't use the scar tape until they close. So I've been putting peroxide and band aids on them. The two on my hip look much better but the other one is still a little sore and seepy. I was under an unusual amount of stress the past two weeks and she said that my immune system was compromised and that's probably why this has happened. I just hope that this doesn't affect the scarring.
I still have the swelling in my lower belly from the drains coming out too early. Doc said to keep wearing the compression garments which is fine with me since I like the way they hold me in anyway. I'm having a hard time finding bras that give me the support I want without rubbing on the wound. UGH.

Tomorrow will be 6 weeks since my surgery! It's hard to believe that much time has passed. I just took my last antibiotic pill (round 3) and am hoping things just keep improving. I started lifting heavier items today at work and everything seemed fine. I weighed myself first thing today and was at 155. My weight before everything was about 165 so I'm happy. I'm just really enjoying my new body.