Hoping for Good Results! -Anchorage, AK

I am a very indecisive person, so this process is...

I am a very indecisive person, so this process is torture! Way too many important decisions to make! I always thought it would nice to have a boob job after my three babies left me uneven, saggy and deflated. But, I never seriously considered it until Christmas when my husband asked how I would feel if he got me a boob job for Christmas.

At first I was furious, I'm obviously not good enough for him the way I am, he doesn't love me the way I am etc. I thought he was being selfish and just getting me what he wanted. Plus, I had always been against elective surgery... all the risks. I was frustrated that my hubby didn't think anything of risking my health. Even though I was so mad, it made me start thinking about it. He had even researched docs and everything. The more I thought about it, I realized BA could really change things for me. I'm so insecure about my breasts and insanely jealous of my husband seeing anyone with nice boobs, even on TV. I would flip out and take my insecurities out on him by getting mad at him. Poor guy. My husband convinced me that he didn't just want this for him, that he really wanted it to help me so I wouldn't have to feel this way. It's even hard for me to have him see me without a bra because it makes me feel sooo not sexy.

But then, I started to think maybe there is something wrong with me, that I can't get over these insecurities on my own, that I need surgery to do it. Then my husband mentioned things like how people gets braces to fix their teeth and no one judges them for that. He told me, it's not anything that is wrong with me, it's just that I've had three babies and breasts are not the same, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to fix that.

Sooo, I decided to go ahead and schedule my first consult. It's on April 10th and now that I want to do it, waiting so long is driving me crazy. I'm nervous because there aren't many PS here in Alaska, so I don't have too many options. I've heard good things about this doctor, first hand from patients who've had BA done by her, but I know choosing a good PS makes all the difference.

I'm worried about all the choices, lift? type of lift? lift on only one side? Just large implants to fill me out? I think I've decided on saline, because I'm just not comfortable with silicone, but beyond that I'm just hoping my PS can help me choose size, over/under the muscle etc. and that I'll be able to trust her! It makes me nervous that different PS have such different opinions, even when it comes to things like recovery. On top of that, my youngest is six months and I will have no choice but to lift him after about two weeks post-op. I'm excited, but crazy nervous!

BTW, I'm 29, 5'6", 112 lbs. The main thing I want is perky, perky, perky, with a nice round shape (but not like plates have been stuck to my chest). Big, but not huge, I'd like to look not so natural naked, but natural in clothing if that makes sense. I'm so happy to have found this site, it has really helped me feel more secure in my decision to go forward! Thanks for sharing your stories ladies!!!

Thank you for starting your great story on RealSelf. You are not alone with your feelings of insecurity. Most of us in this community know exactly how you are feeling...and how you will feel more confident post-op! Why wouldn't we want the body we had before 3 children?!

Here are some questions to ask your PS. Also, you may want to try the rice test at home to see what size you feel most comfortable with. Keep us posted!

Hey I just read yr story and I think it's great that u have a very supporting husband mine 2 was that way and it helps so much. I am just over 1 month post op and it was the best decision I have ever made. I love my girls and the surgery and recovery is not bad at all. The 1 st few days was the worst 4 me but as far as pain goes I had none just tightness and swelling was all. U will love them once u get them. Good luck and keep us posted.
good luck and Dont worry it will be for the better. you have a very supportive husband i think its great what he is doing for u. cuz i believe hes doing it for you and Thats awesome. i look forward to seeing your results. have u decided on saline or silicone? profile? size? i am probably just as indecisive if not worse! lol good
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