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Want a mommy makeover, but husband is so against it. Has anyone experienced this?

  • November Rose
  • Miami
  • 1 year ago

In the last couple of weeks I have been really thinking hard on getting a mommy make over. I am a mother of 6 and I want my body back. I am 138 lbs, height 5 '7 my figure looks great , but my boobs and tummy looks like a very age old woman, I am 32. My husband is very old fashion and says that he hates the ideal and if I get it we are over. He said that I don't care about his feeling towards the surgery and I should not get it. Anytime the conversation comes up we argue over it or he just says nothing. I am trying to gradually get him to understand, that this what I want and it's not about want just make him happy. He says he has no problem with how I look, but I just want to look my best ! I have my mind already set that this is what I want and going to get. Have anyone gone threw this type of dilemma if so what was the out come? 

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How are you doing? I'm sorry you're in such a difficult place right now. I know this is something only you can navigate, but if you want to talk, vent, etc, let me know. Hugs :)
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Mine didn't want me to do it either, I don't think a man can truly understand what us woman put our bodies through to have children. Why can't we have our children and our great bodies too! I was almost two years before there was no more excuses why he said I couldn't do it and finally agreed. Right before my surgery he told me he was scared that he would lose me once I got my self confidence back so manly that was the issue for him. Maybe after some time your hubby will come around, I hope it all works out for you :)
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I'm so sorry you're going through this! I have 8 children, all big babies, all breastfed, so *I hear you*!!! ;) Yeah, you've been giving and giving and giving, so you *deserve* to get a little too. Plus, do you know if you have an abdominal split? Lay on your back, then start to do a sit up. Feel the middle of your belly, around your naval. If you can feel the center dipping in (towards your back), with ridges on either side (that's your abdominal muscles), then you have a "diastasis recti", or abdominal split. If it's slight, like 1 finger wide, then it's possible to tighten it with exercise, but any more than that, and it's impossible. It requires surgery to fix it. I'm betting after 6 kids, you've got a good split! AND, you NEED to get it fixed, because you can't do exercises to strengthen your abs, or you'll either make the split worse or create a hernia. So, weak tummy muscles mean your back does ALL the work. After awhile, your back with develop pain and problems. Then you won't be able to take care of everyone! So, you have a valid MEDICAL reason to investigate this! A tummy tuck IS the procedure to fix the split. So, something to think about for your hubby. For me, my split is about 4 fingers wide, and I've started to have back pain / problems. So hubby supports the surgery so I can function and care for the babies. However, he doesn't support the rest of it (I'm having a breast lift to remove all the extra skin, lipo to hips and inner thighs and chin - no more gobbler!). Basically, these "extras" are way cheaper since I'm already doing the TT, I'm already taking on the risks of anesthesia, intubation, infection, etc. So if I'm doing the TT, might as well get these others done too! So hubby tolerates it. But, I can't really talk to him, or share my fears or excitement. So I can't expect him to be a support. I mean, to his credit, he's taking off 3 weeks to help me. I just think maybe he's scared for me. But girl, I have to question your hubby for threatening to LEAVE you?? Seriously, there should be very little for a spouse to EVER even mention leaving. Like, illegal and perverted stuff. I don't even consider such a threat a joke. So you're wanting to "perk things up" and feel like a sexy woman, vs a baby-care nurse. How could that possibly be a reason to abandon a marriage? Besides, if you're feeling sexy, he's the one who benefits, right? Anywho, blessings sweety. Praying wisdom your way. (hugs)
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Awwwww! Thank you. I so needed to hear that right now. I do have the split any it won't go nowhere that is a fact. But I am in my feeling right now questioning myself...maybe I need to compromise with so the sake of our marriage. We never argue over anything like this for so long. I feel like forgetting about the whole thought. But I want this foe me and nobody else. My hubby is not backing down for what he valves. He says there is nothing wrong with me. I just been thinking a lot about what I want to do and is it really worth it? I when to two consults and he blew a head gasket......I just want to embrace my sexiness ...and happiness for myself...right now I am so confuse...but will soon figure it out. Thank you again on your insight.
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My hubby always changed the subject when I brought it up. He said your fine the way you are & because I was scared of surgery I dropped it. But this year I was like I'm going to look for a great Dr and if I find him I'm gonna do it. He said it's up to you. I know he didn't want me to do it cuz he was scared for me and the healing process. The day before my surgery we fought & I told him I was going to do it cuz I deserved it, I wanted it, and it was for me. So he was ok. Now he's like the Dr did a good job & he's more jealous now. I hope you work it out with him. Because you deserve it, if you really want it.
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Thank you for your support.....I does not want to talk about either. Like not at all talk it not a subject to him. His biggest threat to me is that he is leaving me and no looking back , because it him it is a turn off. I feel I must do it for me, I have to live to make me happy.....it is a tough decision , but I have to make my steps. My first consultation is Monday 11/26.... My journey begins.....lets see how it goes
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I'm sorry you and your husband aren't agreeing on this. It's not uncommon, actually. Here's a post about how spouses can differ over plastic surgery. Good luck and I hope you're able to help him understand your feelings.

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Thank you for this post very helpful
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November, I was married twice before my current husband. Neither of the other two would agree with me getting a MM. So I just simply let the idea and the dream of it go. Then I met my soulmate in May of 2011. I mentioned to him pretty early on that I wanted a MM. He gave me the sweetest response ever! You don't need it, I love the way your body looks. But if it will make you feel confident and help you feel as beautiful as I know you are. Then it's worth it. I started crying! I really feel that many men don't want you getting it because they are worried about what people will say, or they are insecure, or jealous that you will leave after. They need to understand its not for anyone else, but for you!
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Thank you for sharing...girl I got my mind made up. He say that if I do it ...he will leave...well I never been so strong on wanting anything for myself. I always take care of others...never taking the time to pamper myself. It is scary what the future may hold for me and my marriage....but I need to move forward and then figure it out. I am just doing it for me. Thanks again for your story.
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I had told my husband i wanted it an i felt like i was presenting a business proposal at first because he didn't want to talk about it but i kept my kool an said well if you wont support my idea just help me support my recovery because i would do the same for you an after that i didn't talk about it i just started planning an he was like okay when we leave ,,after he started seeing my recovery items show up in the mail an i would be in bed on the internet and he would ask me what you doing i would say im researching on things i need for my recovery ...an about three weeks he was on board an at that time he was able to express calmly his concerns an i reassured him an now he all excited we leaving the country. his luggage is bigger than mine Damn
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