Anyone have a spouse completely against you having cosmetic surgery?

He wasn't against it; he acted like everything was fine and he was even saying stuff about he was behind me 100% and all of this before I had it done. Then I did it and then I got stuff like "well this isn't major surgery, major surgery is like a heart transplant or open heart surgery or taking a kidney out but not a tt. Then not but 2 weeks after I had the surgery he starts yelling at me saying he's not doing this anymore and that he wants to go see a lawyer for a divorce. All while I'm trying to recover and all because the kids are looking to me for everything and he thinks that they can pretty much take care of themselves (my kids are 10 and 11). I would say that if you want to have this done better be sure that your husband is on board with this and that he's not going to flip a switch and decide he's going to flake out on you. That's what happened to me. We had problems before but the surgery just magnified them 100% more. I would think that one would have to have a pretty stable marriage and know the other person really well before undertaking such a task. Needless to say I regret this decision now (having surgery) but there really isn't anything I can do about it now. What's done is done.

Very glad that I found this forum! I am not having a tummy tuck, I am having a BBL, but I have been experiencing the same thing, my boyfriend being totally against me getting the surgery. He has, however, become extremely supportive for me emotionally during this time. He continues to express how bad he doesn't want me to do it and how he thinks I am so perfect the way I am now, but he understands that I will be going through with it and he will be there for me.

I did! My husband is stuck in the "your body is mine" era! It was a struggle for him to grasp the thought of me wanting to "change" my body, in his mind i'm supposed to look like i had kids (excess skin after 2 c-sections). So, i totally ignored him and went ahead with my surgery, afterall, its not about him or anyone else. And you should not feel guilty for wanting to look and feel your best. I am now 25 days post-op, and he is liking the results! Go figure. Lol. At the end of the day, its about you and your body, and shame on him if he doesn't understand. Good luck!

Haven't told mine and I am 2, almost 3 days post op. We are separated but still see eachother. We have been on the outs lately so he's been a real a-hole so I haven't mentioned it because he's never in the right mood. It is probably meant to be. Even though I have mentioned wanting the surgery sEVERAL times, I don't see him offering me support when it comes tight down to it. In fact, I pictured him trying to sabotage it and ruin it for me.So I was in and out as he slept the day away. I am as I said post op now and my family is here helping as are my 2 kids which are 10 and 17. My mom is here so, I have care til the 23rd and I will be at a week post op. He is just a control freak and would accuse me of doing this so I can "find another man". Definitely NOT on my mind before the surgery or as of now. We have pretty much mutually decided to call it quits anyway, so I don't owe him an explanation, especially after how he has been behaving. He is an alcoholic anyways and after 13 years I am DONE with it. But, a non supportive husband who holds a woman down from doing what she wants to with in reason is not worth it. They only want control and to hold you down. Get a friend or older kids to help out if you can. Do what makes YOU happy ladies!

how long was it before you were sexually active again

she has done great it is a month and i am very very satisfied with the results

Wow, what a husband! It has been 18 months for me now, and while I look and feel great about myself, my relationship with my husband is still not what it use to be. You should have your wife read these postings about our husbands, then read your response, and I'm sure that in itself will take much of her pain away! Other than that the only thing I found comfortable was sitting and sleeping in a recliner. While I was sitting I was fine, but what hurt most was trying to get up. So the recliner helped to push me forward a bit. Then I had a table in front of it to pull from and could get up, although it still hurt a lot for about 6 days. But at least that was doable. And I agree to stay with the painkillers and do as much walking as possible. Much of this just takes a bit of time, but it will pass soon. Please let us know how she's doing in a few days! She's a very lucky woman :)

hello to all,
My wife just had a tummy tuck I was looking for some info on what i could do to help her and mke her feel more ccomfortable because she is in lot of pain she just cant get comfortable. we go back and forth to the couch bed recliner and so on. I happened to find this site and I just cant imagine how some of you did this without the support of your husbands. I am a captain offshore Im always gone I trust my wife more than anything she is very beutiful she could probly have any mn she wanted and has all the oppotunity in the world being im gone all the time she just wanted to get the excess skin fixed from having the kids. I understood that and told her i love her and i will help with what ever. I just cant fathom your husbands not being there for yall. I think they have forgotten the meaning of what a marrige and what love is. It hurts me to see her hurting and trying to do everything I can. I m completely against devorce as I am a christian but that is not the only reason you should make it work. If you can spare the money without putting your house hold in a bind and you really need i think you should go for it. It has only been 3 day since she had it and i cant believe the results I cant wait to get her in the bed our sex life was great but i know she will feel more confident and it will mke it that much better. It is non of my buisness but i think some of you need to sit down and have a talk with your husband and reconnect or somthing and let them understand there will be a day that you will probly have to care for them and it will probly be longer than a 2 week ecovery and if they dont anted to be neglected they better get back to being in there marrige and quit worring about there pockett book. BUT by all means save up for it and make sure you are finantially capable dont put your house hold in a bind. These non supportive blow my mind. Just to let you know I may sound like a sissy or a fimanine person in this lettter but I am a souther country boy and a boat captain so I gaurantee i am not. I really feel for some of you. If you have any advice for me to help my wife maybe some comfortable positions to sit in or somthing please let me know thank you very much

Good for you mrssparrow!

It is annoying when people ask nosy questions. I'm to the point of saying, 'why on earth would you want to know such personal information?'

Good luck with it.

i lost 30kgs in my early 30's and there was no way my husband was paying for a tummy tuck i put up with it till i was 47 exercised my butt off in that period so i decided i was going to do it myself the kids were off my hands i was working in a job that i could take time off so i did finally have it done, my husband was with me till couple of days after surgery then my parents stayed a week my hubbie works away contract work. i managed quite well on my own after that. i've also had a spinal fusion so wasn't as painful either that or i'm tough. have since had my thigh reduction he was against that but i'm a determined bugger had it done and stayed with my daughter sadly the surgeon didn't do a good job and decided to do liposuction a couple of months later now that was painful cruel B just gave me injection it felt like a pig on a spit, that didn't work well either so he reoperated on the upper thigh didn't charge me but had to have time off work and needless to say still not happy.

i have since been to another surgeon and he wants to do body lift, thigh lift and tt again. i'm kind of ok with the tummy but the cost isn't much different so may as well get the works. so it'll be another drama trying to talk old boy into this one again i'm pretty determined i'm doing it. i'm not interested in other men i'm really quite shy around them i just want to not have floppy skin its ugly and we work hard to keep ourselves looking as good as we can i think this day and age at least its in our reach. not just for the movie stars.

my next problem is i don't really want to tell my workmates abd friends i just feel like they're judging me i think i'll just say i need time off.

i am fortunate to have a friend who i can stay with for a week who doesn't judge me. i've had hand and knee surgery so i feel like people think i'm mad for inflicting more pain on myself but this is not so bad because bone operations are awful my knee was like it was on fire especially when i had to fly home from brisbane. so the surgery doesn't phase me at all.
i have a workmate who drives me insane asking all the questions under the sun grr! anyway please don't wait till your my age get it done while your young its degrading having to put up with it.

tell hubby it will improve your sex life, because it certainly does.

Hi MicheleinJersey- I have not posted in quite a while either, you and I used to chat. I am so sorry to hear that. I am very happy with my results too, glad i did it. It will be a year October 15th already. I would love to something else (for me of course, but to expensive!) hang in there.

I haven't posted in a really long time, obviously. My husband saw me naked after a time and chose to just ignore the scar. Then, he decided I should get more surgeries to make me look even more "perfect". Sadly, we are no longer together. But, my belly, 11.5 months after surgery, looks fantastic, and somebody I dated about 8 years ago, saw my scar and said it wasn't that bad. And I've lost about 13 pounds since then. And I'm happy, which is the most important thing.

Your husband loves to so much that's why he don't want you to undergo to any surgery. Explain to him your part and expect for the long time talk.

Cool! :D

Well, I was trying to consider HIS feelings, but he JUST told me that if I back out or decide not to do it now, that he would be SSSOOOO mad at me for having put him through all this stress & anger & fighting that I will never be able to live it down nor will I be allowed to bring it up again... so I called to make my appt... :)
she is going to try to work me in as soon as possible!!! NOW I am getting excited!!!

My hubby does not want me to do it because he is afraid for me, says he loves me no matter what I look like and he understands that its the children that caused it. He is afraid that I might not make it, his mom had went to the hospital for a small routine surgery and did not make it, so I do understand how he is feeling.

I say go for it.

My hubby tried to talk me out of it, or at least to wait and work on my fitness for a year, so I'd just be getting rid of the remnants.

I flat out said NO, I was doing it now, and that's that. Making me wait a year would be depressing, and it's too far away to seem real enough to go all out changing my lifestyle. Know what I mean?

I felt that I would do better getting the TT done now, and as I recover, revise my diet, which I've been doing for months anyway. Once I can get walking again, I'll be out there trying to fix/keep my girlish figure - I hope. I don't know what the future will bring, but I do know that this is the only time of year it is slow enough for me to not work for a few weeks.

He has been very supportive, and although he's not doing tons of extra in the house, he is cooking, shopping and doing dishes, as well as being at my beck and call. Today was the first time I actually got out of bed on my own, so now, maybe he can sleep through the night. Next challenge - getting IN the recliner on my own. I can get out, but cannot reach and pull the lever to put me back.

I felt so much better about myself just by booking and paying for the surgery. Although I'm still in swelling discomfort mode, I know I will be very happy with the results. I've got rid of that saggy, flabby belly, and that makes me more determined to improve and keep my new figure.

Right now, I am about 11 lbs. lighter than when I went in, and I expect as the swelling subsides, I will lose a bit more; although the PS did say I may gain some, just from the weeks of sitting around eating with no exercise.

I'll be so glad when I can go out dancing again, or even feel well enough to go sit and listen to the music and have a quiet night out.