Post to Forum

HELP!!! What did you tell people you didn't want to know about the surgery....inlaws, kids teachers, etc

  • Rubiegirl
  • Albany, NY
  • 1 year ago

I have 3 kids ages 10,7 & 4, so they older boys will see that I had surgery and that I can't do much after my Mommy Makeover. I was going to tell them I was having female surgery and leave it at hat BUt I know they will prob mention it to my inlaws and maybe their teachers so what do I say to them? I don't want my inlaws to know bc they are judgmental and they will most likely give me a hard time and wil think we are wasting our money. I also don't want to tell the kids teachers esp my daughters preschool teacher who I have known for awhile and the parents are all pretty close at the school. They will know something bc I will not be dropping my daughter off for a week while I am recovering. Please any suggestions would be a huge help! I was contemplating telling them hernia surgery but I really don't want to lie especially to my inlaws but I just can't tell them:-(  they are also the type of people who wouldn't let me get away with just saying female surgery..l they would want to kow what. Any help would be greatly appreciated! I have 2 weeks and 3 days to the big day!, so excited!

Comments (12)

Sort by

I told people I was abdominal surgery. A lot of people didnt ask further those that did I said I was having muscle repair. Not a lie just an omit.
  • Reply
I was thinking of saying appendicitis :-) at work...! And since I've always worn padded C bras since I got to be a deflated B assuming no one will notice after BA BL to a D.. Another thing I was thinking when I wear a bikini / sarong is - hey Pilates works :-)!! And Oh I went to a medspa while i was vacationing in Europe for some thermage skin tightening facial . Haha!! If someone asks how much this medspa cost, I was planning to say oh my hubby gifted the treatment for our 20th anniversary :-)! No idea!.. LOL...On a serious note, beyond the above I couldn't think much... Having read the hernia stuff may be ill try that too..
  • Reply
My husband told my coworkers that I was having reconstructive surgery and then gave them the 'you don't want to ask' look. That pretty much handled them :) I do have to say that my MIL who I wasn't going to tell (until she decided she might come visit that week) was way more understanding and supportive than I thought she might be. She even sent me a very nice PJ set for recovery. We did tell a neighbor I have the flu to keep her away ;-)
  • Reply
So far people know I had surgery but no one has asked for what :-) I told my close friends and my parents. My mom went and told few family members and i wasn't too happy about it. I know I should be proud because I lost 70 pounds and I am healthy! Good luck to you :-)
  • Reply
I had the same question... My mom and husband know but I don't want my two teenage boys (16 & 17) to know because they will tell my ex-husband and my entire marriage to him was spent listening to him tell me I was a fat cow and this would just really get him going. I am getting a TT and BL &BA so I thought at first I would say I was having female surgery but then I decided to go with hernia repair since I lift weights and I can just pretend I got a hernia from that....but it sucks lying. Especially to family members. It is too bad that society has to make a big deal about plastic surgery.
  • Reply
I am saying hernia surgery too....so far everyone asks if I am ok but nobody has asked what the surgery is for. Even my close friends that I told the tummy tuck too I didn't tell about the BA/BL. I only told my parents, my husband and my best friend about everything:-) I feel that people just judge and look down on these surgeries. Good Luck with everything. Did you have the surgery yet? I am 2 weeks post op tomorrow:-)
  • Reply
That is a great question, as i was wondering the same thing. I thought about using hernia as a reason, or biopsy for work. My family knows about my hanging skin on my stomach after nearly 100 lb weight loss, but I don't want to share with them about my upcoming breast augmentation. They still think I'm a DD:)
  • Reply
I feel the SAME way!!! I think people would understand the TT but I am afraid to tell about the BA/BL! I was thinking hernia but not sure what to do. I am telling my kids in a few days that I will be having female surgery but if they tell my inlaws who knows what to say. When are you having surgery? I am next Friday Jan 18th...so excited!
  • Reply
I'm not scheduled yet. I'm going for my 2nd consult on the 23rd. I am hoping to try to get it done around spring break due to my tight work schedule. Also, i really want to drop these last few pounds so I can get as much loose skin off as possible. I can't with though! Keep us posted on your surgery. Good luck and congratulations!
  • Reply
I like KCmama's response! :) I also like the hernia repair response, though I too, couldn't bring myself to lie. :/ Hubby told that to his family though, so I didn't need to. I've said I was getting surgery to repair muscles damaged from having 8, big babies, and these damaged muscles were causing my back pain, and leaving me vulnerable to getting hernias. All of which is true, so no lying!!! Of course the "damaged muscles" is the diastasis / split. I also had a breast lift, which I tell those I've chosen to was a reduction. Which it was! Went from 36G to 36DD. Of course "reduction" sounds medically validated, vs "lift" sounding like vanity. Though if you're getting a BA, people will likely see that, so be prepared. Isn't it ridiculous we are made to feel vain, wasteful, or selfish, yet no one questions us destroying our bodies in childbirth? Why wouldn't getting them fixed be just as expected? Good luck!!!
  • Reply
I know it is ridiculous the way some people view getting these surgeries. I have lost 75 pounds and have a ton of skin on my stomach that I cannot get rid of by exercising and dieting. I am getting a BA but I wear the bombshell bra from VS that makes you 2 sizes bigger and I am not going large, I just want to be a C cup which is what I was before losing weight and kids. Hopefully it won't be too obvious:-) I didn't have c sections so I can't use that as an excuse:-( ugh what to do....thanks for your advice!
  • Reply
I just told a few people that I was having some complications repaired from 2 c-sections. Usually, they will not want the details. :)
  • Reply