What do you tell your children when they ask about the surgery?

  • mynewstart 314
  • 3 years ago

With Mommy all hunched over and drains hanging out they are going to ask why.... I don't exactly want my Ex husband to know I had this done. My kids 2 boys and 1 girl ages 14, 12 & 8 go to Dad's every other weekend.

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Hey Ladies.. Im 8 days post op today... can you guys come and take a look at my pics on my review and gimme ur opinions...
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yea madison were using our taxes to fund my as well. I didnt tell friends olny one. no one else knows. i feel the same as you being judge!!! my inlaws and my kids father thinking i having female surgery. i never went in to details.
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Do what you feel is right for you & your kids! I would have definately gone for the "I fell & have to rest" excuse, if they were younger, or I felt that they could not understand. My kids are old enough to understand it a little more. I will also be staying overnight in the hospital. I did not tell them that I was getting it because I was pregnant & my belly did not go back (not that that is so wrong either!). I just kinda felt they might feel guilty somehow. So I guess I wasn't 100% honest!

Now, I don't know what to tell my close friends!! I told my work that I will be out for gall bladder surgery! I hate to lie, but I feel like it is none of their business that I am getting a TT. My friends can be a bit judgemental, I hate to say. I have mentioned plastic surgery in the past & they all said that they would hate to waste money on it, that they would rather have home improvements or pay for the kids college. So, of course, I haven't told any of my friends. I don't know how I will get away with that, but I hate the idea that they think I am being selfish, or taking the easy way out. I work hard & I feel that we have lived without our new bathroom for 10 years, we can go another year without it! That is what we would have gotten if not for my TT. We are using our tax return to fund it! Every year we use our tax return (which is pretty big, because we have a lot taken out)for a home improvement.
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lol. my are 7 and 6 and i havent told them anything yet. they wouldnt get it yet anyways, baselly they liv in the moment. so ill explaning it when i get home.
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My kids are 9 & 11. I told them the truth. I basically told them that my skin stretched out & I would like to get it smooth again. My daughter, who is 11 at first was like "why do you care?" and I told her that it is important to me & will make me feel better about myself.

They seem fine about it. They seem happy to help out when I am recovering - we'll see how long that lasts!
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i posted my on m review but its not there yet.. must take 24 hours or so. i love this site, since i have told a soul this is nice to get my scares away.
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I wouldn't tell them, if you don't want him to know.

I think I'd just say I had some surgery for muscle repair, if you did have that also. Or, just say 'women stuff'.
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Hi girlfriends,
I just saw your reponses...lol :) Been busy and off the computer for a while.
My Ex is the poster child for mid life crisis..after being married for 13 yrs and 3 children, 1 mo. before my 40th b-day asked for a divorce. Was dating a 26 yr old!
So here I am trying to move on with my life. "MY NEW START"
Anywhoo..I have decided to call it bladder surgery.
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You go girl!  After you are all done and healed he will be green with envy and regret his stupid decision to mess around with a 26 year old.  His loss and your gain :)

The older we get the better we get so you my friend are going to be one hot mama!
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Thanks Kimmers :) I am going to be HotHot,Hot! Imagine Carribean music here lol. ;)
Talked with my surgeon about adding lipo to my sides and that little stubborn pocket of fat that peaks out of bathing suit bottom on the front of hip adjacent to groin area. I was worried about how much it would cost, but if I'm already going to be under....I actually leaned over and hugged him (I was dressed) when he said he would not charge me extra! I have to pay 1/2 hr extra time to hosp for the room only!!! I am even MORE excited now! He warned me I would be pretty bruised, I was smiling and nodding, saying thats ok..trying not to jump up from my seat. That when (he was sitting next to me) I just HAD to lean over and hug him! He was startled and just patted my back saying oh thats ok dear..lol
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LOL...I love it!  Bring on the music :)  

I also had the same pocket of fat in the same spot and my doc zapped that away as well.  I was so excited the first time I looked when standing up...It was GONE!!  Yippi..

Funny about hugging your doctor; I hug mine every time I see him!  I absolutely love and adore him and he is so sweet.  I think he has finally learned that I am a huggy/touchy/affectionate person.  My girlfriend told me not to maul the doctor...LOL.   The bonus is those magic surgical hands of his.  You know I do not think they realize just how what they do really effects us.  These procedures are so routine for them and they do them day in and day out.  Probably could do it with their eyes closed.  I understand it is their job but what they do has such a positive mental effect on people.   I pretty much think my doc walks on water:)  But he sure does not act like that.  Very modest and quiet man and does not have the God syndrome. 

I am happy for you and know exactly how you will feel when you get the first look of the new you.  I cried the first time I saw my body..good tears!
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Awww I'm hoping for those happy tears as well :)

I agree with you that I don't think they fully know just how much they are helping women emotionally!

I feel the same way as I did waiting for the babies to be born! I just couldnt wait to see them...now I can't wait to see the new me :) I am so totally "nesting" right now as well...cleaning and washing everything, getting supplies ready except I'm the new baby now. ;)
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LOL...almost there!  I can't wait to see your after pictures:)
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Oh I am still trying to work up the courage to post before pics!
For sure if I'm brave enough then after pics will follow.
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Only do what you are comfortable with:)   We have all posted our lumps, bumps and sags to the world...LOL  

To me what was worse that posting the pics on line was opening the gown for my doctor to see.  That freaked me out.  I felt like this big blob under the gown and so nasty.  For god sakes he is a doctor and sees this shit every day.  I think my breasts were bigger than his head!   And then when he had to lift my tummy during the exam.....oh crapppp.  I had a total hot flash with embarrassment.

I had hesitation about posting my breast pictures.  I am not sure why I was so mental about that??  Finally did it last week and I guess it is ok.    Not sure why I was able to post the tummy and not the ta ta's but it is done now. 

Most women are very visual and need to see results.  It is helpful to many women on the site in preparing for their journey. 
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Well Kimmers I bit the bullet and posted pre! So I will post after as well.
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Agree with your feelings doo much!
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Lol ....remember what goes around comes around
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hahahaha... too funny... Sweet revenge
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i got my tubes tie when i was with him, but ill tell the kids i had girl parts surgery... and leave it at that. lol lol
hes a jerk, andput me to hell and he has..... well a nice gf but thats about all she is..
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LMAOOOOO... yes Evil indeed... and naughty... humnnn... maybe u can make up u had some other type of surgery like a tubal ligation or something.... in case the kids mention it at his house.. they can just say.. mommy got her tubes tied.. heheheheh just a thought
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i dont care what he thinks. bt i want to be in a 2 piece when he picks up the kids.. hahaha the look on his face will be worth it all.. sorry i am evil..
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LOL...I like the way you think!  You go girl...make him eat his shorts...he he.
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Be honest with the kids and tell them that you are doing something to make you feel better.  Also let them know that you may have a sore tummy for a while but you will be ok.   Tell them that you may need some help. 

Involve them in your care with minor things.  Making you a sandwich, getting you a drink, keeping their things picked up around the house etc.  If they feel included and helpful they will be good little troopers. 

I don't know what to say about the Exe's not knowing???  I have not been in that situation so have no clue.   Knowing me though if I had an ex I probably would not have a care in the world what they thought...just saying :)
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mynewstart,
i agree with you. my kids are 7 and 6.. what do i tell them, i dont want thier dad to know, but dont discussed at dads house wont work... so?? mmm any ideas?
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