Husbands Who Hate Plastic Surgery

Anonymous_1 on 4 Apr 2011 at 12:00am

"In sickness and in health"... that's how vows go.

But some husbands say all bets are off when it comes to plastic surgery. They won't lend financial, physical or emotional support to wives who've decided to get surgically altered. 

Imagine this: you sign up for a major procedure like a tummy tuck, and you're left to fend for yourself during recovery. Your spouse refuses to even speak to you when returning from the hospital. Two weeks later, he finally heats up a bowl of chicken soup for you. This was the real-life experience of RealSelf community member Virgo33, who shared her full story.

But this situation isn't isolated; we've found that there's an entire community of women who've had to overcome an unsupportive spouse during a time of need.

Mommy makeover Before and After

  • MicheleinJersey: "My husband HATES that I did this. He tried to talk me out of it while i was waiting to go into surgery. He hasn't even seen my scar - won't look at it - is mad I did it - even though he wanted me to be in better shape before I did it. I don't think he will look at me naked for a very long time. I'm glad I did it for me, but I hope my marriage will survive it."
  • Salem4610: "My husband was very mad at me for doing this. Two days before the surgery he still didn't realize I was still going through with it, and walked out of the house ... he was afraid of something bad happening and me not making it. Oh, and continuously throws up to me what the $5000 could have been spent on around our house!"
  • Sanfrancisco5707: "My hubby made a smart comment about the cost... I have a job too and I have saved for it, as I reminded him. I also reminded him of all the toys he has gotten throughout the years. I warned him, don't go there with me..."
  • MailLady: "My husband was totally against my surgery ... I drove myself to my PS for surgery and my 17-year-old drove me home that evening. He was less than attentive partly due to fear, drains and bruising on my eyelids from eye surgery. I was a mess. Anyway we got thru it -- rather, I got thru it"

Would you undergo cosmetic surgery without your partner's support?

Lead photo: Lauri Väin on Flickr.com

Comments (8)

I am considering lipo and possibly a tummy tuck. I am almost 30 and I have 3 children. I use to have a nice body and then I became a mother. I finally have the money and my fiance does not want to support me at all. I put a down payment for him to get a new car and any money I ever had I always spent on him the kids or the house. For once I want to splurge on myself. This is something I have wanted since my 1st son was born but I didnt have the money at the time. Now I have it and I am done having kids so I am ready to make myself happy. I just want to feel good about myself. I am tired of constantly worrying about how other woman look. I want to try on clothes and be satisfied. Every shirt or pair of pants I try on makes me want to cry. Im stuck with this ugly shield over my body. I wish my fiance would be supportive. I am going to end up doing this alone and possibly end up alone. He told me he mihht not look at me the same and if I want to proceed then go ahead. If he wants me to choose between him and my inner happiness with myself then maybe him and I arent meant to be. This is about me for once. I sacraficed my body for 3 wonderful children and I think I deserve to get my body back
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I love tinaHP's response to PEOPLEAREIDIOTS. You are sooooo right, why does this person check out websites that are so offesive to them? Sort of like saying you hate gay people and than perusing website they chat on. Hmmmmm. Anyway, this is an individual decision and warrents no ones opinion but the person having it done honestly. So to PEOPLEAREIDIOTS, "Get a life". ;)
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@peopleareidiots: For someone who seems to think of all the things one could do to help mankind you sure are being judgmental and callous about something you don't understand. And if you are so disgusted by the entire ordeal WHY are you creeping on this website? To be mean and self righteous? I'm sorry, but you do not have to like it or ever have it done but you have no right whatsoever to JUDGE anyone because they have or have considered plastic surgery. JMO
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Plastic surgery is unattractive to me and most of my male (and female) friends because it shows that the woman puts too much importance on her appearance than her personality. A man that dates a woman that had plastic surgery is shallow. The women who don't consider it shallow are usually the ones who want the surgery or already got it. Most of the guys that like plastic surgery are the shallow ones looking for sex. We all get old, age, and die...why can't those wives accept it and use the money to help feed those that are hungry, need clothing and/or shelter? Children are starving around the world and people spend thousands on surgeries to look better. We live in a sick society.
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I am so glad to hear that i am not the only one going through this. My fiance doesnt understand WHY I want a mommy makeover. He keeps telling me that he loves me the way I am. I know this. I want to love my self and I havent loved the way I look in years! I started having kids at 17. I am now 34 and for once in my ADULT life I would love to look in the mirror and be happy! I would love to be able to go to the lake or water park and not be so worried about what the other women look like or be uncomfortable because I cant wear a swim suit. I tell him that my self esteem would sky rocket if I got this done but he thinks that I am doing it to impress the world! I just wanna feel as sexy as he says I am. He said he would pay for it but he isnt happy and he said that this surgery better do the trick for my self esteem. I know that it would because getting fuller, firmer breasts and getting rid of the wrinkly, flabby road atlas on my stomach will defiantly make me feel like the woman I deserve to feel like!!
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I don't know if you're still actively using this website, but if you're still out there, I'd love to hear what you chose to do and any consequences. Thanks!
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My husband was also against my BA and swore he would never touch them again without thinking about it. He was there for me however, and now two years later, cannot keep his hands and eyes off of them. I think he was worried that I would get the wrong kind of attention from other men. When he realized that I dressed and acted exactly the same as before but was definitely more confident in private he was relaxed and quit worrying about it. All is good and I have no regrets!
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I think 'fear of the unknown' and a feeling of 'no control over the situation' is a huge driver in this reaction from husbands.  It would be interesting to hear from some plastic surgeons who have some tips on helping partners get past this fear and into a support-mode, regardless of whether they agree with the decision to get the surgery.

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