24yr Old, No Kids, Silicone HP 300cc submuscular

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Hi Everyone. I'm 23yr old, 5'4 120lb and really...

Hi Everyone.
I'm 23yr old, 5'4 120lb and really frustrated because the post I just wrote got completely erased and now I have to start all over! LOL.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted boobs. I remember being in like, 4th grade and being excited to grow up and have boobs. Fast forward to 8th grade and I still hadn't developed any yet. In high school, I would sometimes wear 2 bras. There came a time when I realized I probably wasn't going to get boobs. My older sister is around the same size as me, even a tad smaller. My mom and her mom have a decent size chest, but the women on my dad's side are flat... lucky me got my dad's genes! When I was around 17 I read somewhere that women's breasts can continue to develop until 19-20yrs old..nope, not mine! So during my years of college I tried pills, creams, herbs, etc. to try to get my breasts to grow. They didn't. At that point, a BA was never an option. I thought that was so fake.

For at least the past year, I've been really really self conscious about my boobs. The left one is probably a 34B and the right is an A. So I could either wear a 34A bra and have my left boob smushed in there, or wear the B and have my right boob floating in there. I've been wearing a 34B and along with that I typically wear a cami under every shirt. If I bend over even a little, anyone looking could see my right boob because it doesn't fill out the bra and the material doesn't lay flat against my skin. That has been a major insecurity of mine. Before a BA was even an idea, my boyfriend of 3 years always told me I was beautiful and sexy. I just don't see it. at all. I don't feel feminine at all. I want a breast augmentation for myself. It's not the "oh all my friends have boobs, I want them".. it's a self confidence thing. I dont like looking at my body. I'm ashamed of how my breasts look. I want to love my body and love looking at it. I want to feel feminine.

I had a BA consultation last week and I told the doctor that I just want "some" boobs. I don't want anything huge. Ideally, some people (acquaintances) may not even know I got surgery. The doctor recommended a
silicone high profile implant, 300cc in my right breast and 280cc in my left. He said that would bring me to a C cup. I am so worried that it's going to be too big. I made another appointment for next thursday to try
the sizers on again with different outfits. I'm hoping that will ease my worries and I'll be able to schedule the surgery. I'm looking at mid October.

I talked with my mom about it and she initially said she didn't think it was a good idea. I explained to her how unhappy I was with them, and of course talking about my uneven breasts made me start crying and once she realized how uncomfortable I was with them, she was more open to the idea.
SO, that being said, even though this is ultimately my decision, I do want her support in this. Especially because I might need her help after surgery!

She said for me to look for a reputable surgeon and find out the risks/etc/ and she was pretty concerned about pregnancy/breastfeeding. I'm worried
about that as well. Can anyone give insight on that? She said in the past that her boobs didn't grow much during her 2 pregnancies. She breastfed as well and her boobs don't look too deflated (so maybe I have those genes?) Does it depend on the person? I read that they could move or drop during
pregnancy so I am concerned about that.

I'll add some photos of my body so you can get an idea of my body frame. I'll also upload "wish boobs". I'll try to get some actual photos of my boobs later today or by the end of the week.

Any comments/tips/stories to share would be fantastic!


Here's what I'm currently at.. Obviously lacking in the boob area....the left is bigger than the right and i HATE how the right doesn't fill out a bra... The shape of my breasts are something I'm also really self conscious about

surgery is scheduled! 10/13

AH. I scheduled my BA yesterday.. it's real now! October 13th!!!

wish boobs

I know it's hard to tell from other people's results, but I showed my dr some of my wish pics yesterday and he said my outcome would be very similar.

Can anyone help calm my fears here. The image I uploaded is one of them that he looked at. The frontal view looks big in my opinion, if I saw that one and not the side view, I'd say it was way too big. BUT. if I saw the side view and NOT the front view, I'd say it was perfect.. I'm so nervous! I know I'm being ridiculous.. just need some reassurance!

trying on the sizers again

I went in again to try on the sizers with a variety of different outfits..I just came from work so ignore my flats..and I only brought shorts to try on the tops with. I didn't want to get too crazy haha... some of the outfits I felt okay in.. some I felt they looks too big. The beige/black striped shirt was the first on I tried on. As I kept looking at myself in the mirror, I got used to them. Looking at the pictures more, I think maybe I had the sizers down too low? Do they look saggy? Am I just being ridiculous?!

I can't upload all my outfits so I'll add them in another post.

more sizer pics

okay, last 2 outfits.
I really like how they look in my dressy work top..can barely tell.. which will be nice for work..but i'm concerned about the tshirt.. i'm a pretty simple girl. i wear tshirts a lot. i know that i have to be insane, but i feel like in the tshirt, my boobs are going to stick out further and it makes me look...not FAT, but. bigger in the stomach area because the boobs make the shirt lay further from my skin.. reassurance please?!


alrighty, an update since my last post

I told my sister about my surgery. She's 2 years older than me and has even smaller boobs than me. Overall, she really wasn't that supportive. she said I should love my body the way it is, but during our conversation she also said "geez I wish I had the money to do that".. i know she hates have a small chest too, so I'm wondering if shes feeling like she'll be jealous? i hate to say that, but small boobs was something we had in common so i'm leaning towards she might be jealous

I also told one of my best friends from college because she is the only one who really knows how i feel about my body. she didn't know i felt this way about my boobs though and was glad i was waiting until after her wedding for the surgery. her wedding is 3 days before my surgery and i'm a bridesmaid!! she said she would support me no matter what and just wanted me to text her after surgery to let her know i was okay

Labor day weekend I went to my hometown and my mom said she thought I should tell my gramma. initially I figured my gramma probably pays no attention to my chest and won't notice if i get bigger boobs. we are fairly close, but not close enough that i tell her about my boob insecurities. my mom explained that she felt my gramma would be hurt if she found out i had the surgery and didn't tell her -- like i was keeping a secret from here. this is the part that got me (it makes me tear up right now thinking about it). my mom said "she feels like she has a special connection with you because she took care of you after you were born" .. quick recap -- my mom had to go to an out of town hospital after i was born due to complications, so my gramma took care of me when i was only a few days old. i will be absolutely lost when my gramma passes. i cherish every moment i have with her and to hear my mom say that melted my heart. SO, i told my gramma. at first, she seemed to not agree with it. she said "cant you put something in your bra to make it fit?" (My right is smaller than me left)...after my explanation of why i want it she began to be supportive. she said it's my body and i need to be happy. nobody else matters.. she even said she was going to give me money for surgery (isnt she the absolute sweetest?!) and i told her she would NOT be giving me any money for this.

I don't plan on telling anyone else about the surgery.

I'll try not to drag this post on... i have a habit of going on and on and on.

Going to the stores lately has made me sooo excited for this surgery. it's tough to drag myself out of the bra section but I can't help myself.. i can't wait to wear cute bras!!
I just went to Kohls the other day and the Lauren Conrad collection -- ah! I can see myself wearing that in the future and feeling so confident and beautiful. i can NOT wait!

I bought myself 2 sports bras so far. one front close from walmart and one sports bra that hooks in the back from Sears. The Medium sized ones actually felt small.. like there was no way that I'd fit into them once i have boobs so I bought Large and I just hope it fits! I might grab myself a medium just in case and then I can always return what doesn't fit.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I went bed shopping due to his back problems. We compromised on a tempur pedic.. I like firm beds, he likes soft -- i thought we would NEVER agree. Anyway, that's being delievered Saturday Sept 19th. We will move our old bed into the spare bedroom (which currently doesn't have a bed in it). I'm excited for that because now if he's snoring after my surgery, either he or I can go into the other room to sleep.. i usually just kick or nudge him but I'm not sure how capable of that I'll be after surgery.

I'm really concerned about driving to work after. Surgery is on Tuesday the 13th and I'm going back to work on Monday the 19th... i can't really take more time off because I will be out of office at a conference from oct 4-8, out of town on the 9th for my friend's wedding, and then off on the 12th for columbus day .so that's 2 weeks out of the office right there. i'm thinking of coming in the 19th and seeing how it goes. my supervisor is so nice and i feel like if i told her i had surgery (personal that i don't want to discuss) and that i'm in pain she would say work from home.. but other departments don't have the luxury of working from home (we keep that on the down low), so i don't want anyone to get suspicious if i'm out for too long.

I'm also really nervous about the pain im going to be in after. My boyfriend is taking off the day of surgery and the day after (Tues & weds) My mom is taking off of work on thurs. My mom insists that I will be okay on Wednesday (the day AFTER surgery. is she nuts?!) and that my boyfriend should go to work. I don't agree with that and neither does he so he is taking 2 days off to be with me. the plan right now is for me to be on my own on Friday (3 days after surgery).. my boyfriend works about 10 minutes away from my parents house so if needed, i could ride with him to work and my mom could meet us there to bring me to my parents and then if i needed anything while her or my dad was at work, my gramma would just be a phonecall away (she lives 2 minutes away from my parents).

So far I've made 4 individual freezer meals for easy meal prep after surgery. I plan on making chili and minestrone soup this weekend to freeze as well .

OKAY. PHEW. i feel like i'm going on and on. so i'll wrap it up there.

one month!!!

today marks the one month countdown. holy crap. one month from right now i'll have boobs!!
i workout/lift 5x a week so its going to be tough for me to not take supplements, but i'll get through it! i've also always taken vitamins daily so i'm putting them out of sight so i won't mindless take them in the evening as i always do.

getting so so so so so excited. time is going to fly :)

bloodwork nervousness

I have my bloodwork appointment tomorrow. I had blood work done back in July I think. my mom is a nurse so she always draws my blood herself (in the convenience of her own home, LOL) and drops it off at the hospital. When my primary care dr. saw the results, she was concerned about my white blood cell count. it was JUST below average. she said since I'm feeling fine and not bruising easily that it's not a concern, but she wanted another test. so again my mom drew my blood and the results were the same. The primary care wondered if my blood coagulated (??), and she asked me to go to an actual place to get it done and that they should use a glass tube because that helps the blood not coagulate. well i never got that bloodwork done because she said it wasn't urgent and I really couldn't see myself paying for it.. so now that i have bloodwork orders for surgery, i'm worried.. i still feel fine and i dont bruise easily, but i'm nervous that my primary care won't clear me for surgery.. am I being ridiculous? help calm my fears!!

pre op appointment

I had my pre op appointment yesterday. WOW. how did that date sneak up on me so fast??

I dropped off my check and signed the paperwork. I got my script for hydrocodone.. I've already picked up my anti nausea and antibiotic medication. I went to pick up my birth control last week and the lady came back wit 3 prescriptions.. I was like..uhh, what are those?? and she told me anti nausea and antibiotics so I figured the doctor just filled them early! haha

Anyway, I asked about washing with any specific type of soap (antibacterial) and the doctor said I didn't need anything specific. I'll still probably was with antibacterial (non fragranced) just to be safe

I asked about arnica montana and he said yes its used for bruising but his patients don't usually bruise and he'd like if I stayed away from herbal stuff, so I'm glad I didn't buy that ahead of time.

I asked about how long I'll have to wear a bra to bed and he said for ideal results, forever!! I kinda assumed that but i wasn't sure.. My boyfriends kinda upset about that but oh well!

Something that scared me was that the doctor said I'd probably get a full C... before when he told me 300cc would get me a "C" i was okay with that.. i guess the FULL part is what scares me. I'm so worried they are going to be huge. Probably like 2 weeks ago i was worried they were going to be too small! ay yi yi!! but he knows what i was (modest, natural) so I'm just going to trust him! I know everyone says dont focus on cup size.

One thing I forgot to ask about was cleavage/side boob. I'm so worried they are going to be far apart. I just called and the office manager (of 10 years) said she'd look at my pictures..she said shes seen a lot of boobs in the past 2 years of all shapes and sizes, so even though she's not a doctor, I'd still appreciate her feedback. (oh yeah, I got my photos taken yesterday too) . she said she'd call me back and let me know what she thinks (Dr is in surgery on tuesdays so he's not available to ask)

Oh, and regarding my last post -- the bloodwork. what a nightmare. after going to the first place they said they don't take my insurance..i was going to go before work in the AM so i was pretty upset. I went back to my apartment and looked on their website and it said they DO take my insurance. so i went to their other location even though it was a tad further drive for me and the lady said no, we don't take that kind , not for NY state employees... seriouslY!? then why put that on your website. so I got my blood drawn the following day and that lady was super nice. I'm glad I went to her... A few days later I checked my online medical chart and it showed my WBC and platelets were below average , but they've been like that the past 3 times i got my blood drawn.. so then I freaked out because I thought the primary care wasn't going to approve my release for surgery. I ended up calling them because I didn't want to wait a week until my appointment there. They said it would be fine. PHEW. that was a relief. And when the Dr. looked at my files yesterday at my post op, he said bloodwork was fine... a lot of worrying for nothing!

today is tuesday the 29th. I leave on Sunday the 4th for a conference out of town and will return on the 8th. I leave the 9th for an out of town wedding and I'll return the 11th. Then Monday the 12th is columbus day so I'm off from work and then TUESDAY THE 13TH IS SURGERY DAY!!! its going to be here in the blink of an eye. AHH.

exhausted (fitness ladies, I need your feedback!)

This post isn't going to be about the surgery or the size.. just about how I'm feeling.
I'm an avid gym goer -- I lift about 5x a week.. maybe do cardio 1-2x a week after I lift. So on September13th I had to stop taking any supplements.. I typically drink a pre-workout, BCAA's/aminos, and protein..

I work out in the morning before I go to work, and i'm not a HUGE coffee fan, so I started taking caffeine (200mg) pills in the morning w/ my breakfast since I can't take pre workout.. the first week or so, that seemed to work.. by this week, i can barely feel any energy from it.

I'm now at the end of week 3 with no supplements and this is how i've been feeling: exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. I do legs on Monday and my legs have been sore the past 3 weeks from tuesday until Thursday/Friday. I just don't have the energy like I used to. My workouts have been less than ideal because Im so tired. I'm in a wedding on October 10th so I've been trying to increase my cardio a tad (to 3x a week, 15-20min) and drop my carbs a little (still around 130g so nothing intense)...

I was at the gym this morning and had to cut it short. I wanted to give it my all because next week I'll be at an out of town conference so I won't be able to get to a gym (unless the hotel has one), then it's the wedding, then its surgery.. so its really my last days of working out until after surgery/healing..

Are any of you fitness ladies feeling like this? I don't know if supplements play that much of a role that it's really taking a toll on my body not consuming them? Maybe I'm just worrying so much about surgery that it's tiring me out? I have no idea..

Any feedback is appreciated!!

tomorrow is the big day!!

It's really kinda surreal that my surgery is tomorrow. its 6pm in the evening (EST) and I'm really not as nervous as I thought I would be...not sure if that's a good or bad thing

My arrival time got pushed back from 7am to 9am, which sucks because of rush hour. I don't typically drive that far , so I thought I'd leave around 8am. When the surgery center called today, I asked the woman what she would recommend and she said we should leave at 730am... better safe than sorry I suppose!

I cleaned and ran some errands today.. going to eat dinner shortly, go to the gym, and maybe do some more last minute things. I took some pictures this morning and I'll post those here.. I weighed myself this morning and was 120lb.. really hoping I won't lose too much muscle during recovery. i think that's what I'm most afraid of.

I'll try to update again tomorrow!!! good luck to everyone else getting surgery tomorrow and with in the next few days (and month too of course :) )

day of surgery

I woke up today at 6:45am.. showered, got ready, and left the house with my boyfriend around 7:30.. my surgery arrival time was 9am but when the woman from the surgery center called yesterday, she said to leave at 7:30 due to rush hour. my boyfriend drove and i kinda think that was a good thing. he doesn't ever have to drive in rush hour so i was freaking out.. it kept my mind from being nervous about the surgery

we arrive around 8:20 and sat in the car for a bit. i was already absolutely starving. when we got inside, i checked in and the lady said, "youre going to hate me for this" and then made an announcement to the waiting room that there was a food truck outside for breakfast/snacks for those not having surgery.. i was so hungry! my boyfriend went out to get breakfast and the lady saw him come back inside and said "even i wasnt THAT mean".. it made me laugh and relax a bit.
I got taken back to the pre op room to get my IV in and when the anesthesiologist came back, he asked my name and what I was allergic to, then said "okay, and you're getting a bilateral breast reduction"... ummm... "no!!" he laughed and i said "i'd have nothing left!". the nurse said "dont scare her like that..but atleast she was paying attention"..he laughed and said yes it was an augmentation. My boyfriend came back and waited with me and even though i was starving, i was getting nervous.

the doctor came back eventually adn marked me up and soon I was into the operating room.

This next part of my review is half document by me and half by my boyfriend, because apparently when I talked to my mom a little while ago, I had the story mixed up and so I asked my bf to help me write this so I'd have it in the correct order.

I was done with surgery at 1230 (started at 11ish) and he said they didn't bring him back to see me until 130pm. I was sleepy for a bit and apparently the nurse gave me some valium.. OH i almost forgot -- I GOT THE HICCUPS. that was AWFUL. it hurt so so so bad and I couldn't take a deep breath in order to hold my breath because taking a deep breath like that hurt so bad. I remember telling her my pain was a 7/10. she asked if i wanted more pain meds and I said yes. She said I had to eat a bit before she could give me more ..she brought me some saltine crackers and my mouth was SO DRY. it took me about 20 minutes to eat 1 cracker. my mouth was so dry it was so hard to even eat this cracker cause it just kept getting stuck in my mouth. they also wouldn't let me drink water quickly so that was no help. eventually i finished the cracker and i asked the nurse if i had to eat more in order to get the pain meds..she said yes and I said nevermind.. it was too much hassle trying to eat this cracker.. by this time, i was starting to get nauseous so that was kind of making the pain subside anyway..

we left the surgery center around 330. My boyfriend poured some gingerale into a tumbler cup for me and i put a trash can on my lap. i attempted to eat another saltine cracker in the car but just spit it out because it honestly was so hard to swallow due to my dry mouth. we were driving for maybe 5-10 minutes and i dry heaved a couple times and then threw up in the trash can. i am so glad i did because it was a complete turn around. i felt so much better. we passed a Wendy's and i told my bf that maybe i'd want a frosty when we got by the wendy's closer to our house --- even though the nurse said dairy would be harder for my stomach to digest/possibly make me sick, but that's all that sounded appetizing at the moment so we stopped and got one before we got home. the ride wasn't too painful, mainly just somewhat uncomfortable.

i got home and tried to pee, but it was really hard.. i knew i had to go but it wouldn't come out so after a while i gave up. using the bathroom wasn't too bad.. i could wipe myself and pull up my underwear/pants up by myself..i ate a few more crackers in my recliner and watched some tv.. i napped for a bit and then watched more tv. my boyfriend made me mac and cheese and that was DELICIOUS.

honestly right now i'm not in too much pain. I took a hydrocodone about an hour after getting home, not that i think i needed one at the time but i was afraid i'd start hurting if I didn't take it. the biggest pain right now is my throat. it doesn't hurt but it feels like theres a tickle in it.. coughing helps it, but coughing also hurts my chest a lot..

i've gone pee a couple times now, and every time i'm in the bathroom i unzip my hoodie just to look. I want to see them so bad. We did undo my bra when I got home so I could take a quick peak but they are kind of swollen so it's hard to telll. I don't want to look at my incisions yet.

Oh, one more thing. sorry I'm all over the place with this post. ......um.. nevermind, totally just lost my train of thought!!! haha

i think that's about it for now. not sure if i'll try to sleep in my bed or in the recliner. I'll update you girls tomorrow!

day after surgery .. day 2

Hi Ladies,
Day after surgery is just about over.
I slept well last night in the recliner.. only waking up when my alarm went off for meds. once at 2am and again at 6am. I ended up waking up for good around 8am.

I actually worked on my side job (computer based) for an hour and half this morning until my boyfriend got up.. well, actually i woke him up because i was starving. he made me a protein pancake topped with peanut butter (i've been craving one for soo long), and i also had some applesauce. we watched a movie and i was absolutely exhausted so he made me some green tea and that helped. ..

just watched more tv i think until lunch. my boyfriend went and got me some soup and made me a grilled cheese sandwich. i also had some metamucil to get some fiber in me. after lunch i took my pain meds (hydrocodone) and wanted to get some pictures, and this is where my day went downhill.

we took some pictures in the bra, but i know many of you are having surgery soon so I wanted to take some pictures without the bra on. we took some and i looked at myself in the bathroom mirror for a few minutes. my boyfriend was sitting on the toilet taking pictures and i suddenly started to feel dizzy. I've passed out in the past and I knew the feeling. I told him I needed to sit down now so he moved and i sat on the toilet. I told him I didn't feel good and he asked what was wrong.. i said something along the lines of "i dont know.. my vision is getting blurry... i dont want to pass out.. i'm scared.. i'm hot.."..just repeating those things.. to make matters worse, my bra was still off so if I passed out, there wouldn't be anything holding them in. he just wanted to get my bra back on but the zipper is so hard to get up, it's kinda tough. I was just trying to focus on staying calm and taking deep breaths and he eventually got the bra on. I wanted to sit on the floor or on the couch so if i passed out it'd be easier for him to hold me. I had him take my slippers off and he opened the bathroom window .. after a minute or so (i honestly don't know how long it was), i started feeling better. we eventually got me to the couch and he put the fan on and cooled me off. i was so scared i didn't even want to do anything anymore... i then moved to the recliner and took a nap for a bit and when i woke up i felt better.

the last time i passed out was 2 years ago and it was when my boyfriend's sister was talking about her pregnancy and how she needed a c-section because of something that had to do with her spinal cord.. stuff like that really doesn't gross me out so I'm not sure why i started feeling that way.. I dont know if today it was the shock of actually having boobs?.. i dont know..i'll post the pictures on this post for you to see.. the markings are still on my skin and when I first saw my boobs I thought the right was still smaller, but I think they must've done more markings after I got put under anesthesia so the top (roundness) of my current boob doesn't match up with how it looked before.. sorry if that doesn't make any sense... they are very cone like but i knew that was expected.

other than all that, i'm okay. this next part of my review might just be random thoughts so i apologize if it's not really in any order.. my throat isn't so tickly anymore but it still hurts a tad. my stomach is so swollen/bloated..even my sternum is swollen. i called my doctor office earlier today to ask about icing because he didn't say anything yesterday. the lady said i dont need to ice unless it hurts and/or i want to.. she also said no multi vitamins yet.... i stood in the shower today and my boyfriend washed my lower body for me. we don't have the hose sprayer so he used a cup to rinse my body and washed me with a loofah. while he was washing me he noticed that even my back was bloated!! what the heck. i didn't expect that! oh well, what are ya going to do. i also took a dulcolax to help with bowel movements. i had a bowel movement yesterday morning before surgery so we'll see if this helps.

my bf has been such a huge help. i feel like such a nag asking him for help.. i keep saying sorry for this sorry for that and he said "stop saying sorry.. i took off of work to help you.. i dont mind helping".. but i still feel so needy. I try to get out of the recliner by myself sometimes and i feel like a turtle stuck on my back.

my dad called me today too. he didn't text me yesterday at all.. we haven't brought up my surgery either. my mom was the one who told him, which i was fine with.. i guess it's just an uncomfortable thing for a 23/24yr old to bring up with her dad so we've just never talked about it. but he called and he said he didn't want me to think he didnt care or that he wasn't thinking about me.. he asked how i was feeling and if i've been eating and stuff... that was really sweet of him because i know its got to be uncomfortable for him too.

what else?... the pain really isn't too bad. i've been taking my pain meds every 4 hours and i havent had any nausea from them.. been drinking a lot of water too.. i had a couple bites of icecream for dinner even though my boyfriend took some freezer meal chili out of the freezer.. i just wasn't really that hungry.. i had the icecream cause my throat kinda hurt after i woke up from my nap.

okay, now I think i'm just rambling.. overall, recovery isn't as bad as i thought it would be... not yet anyway.. and hopefully it stays this way :) my boyfriend goes back to work tomorrow so he'll be going to bed early. he leaves for work around 5:15am so our plan right now is for him to wake me up when he gets up and help me downstairs to the recliner (i'm going to attempt sleeping in bed tonight).. my mom will arrive maybe around 8:30am to take me to my post op appointment so I'll be home for a few hours and hopefully be okay alone... i'll update you tomorrow on how the post op appointment goes!

2 days post surgery (aka day 3) - the first emotional day

I'm trying to follow along with how realself identifies my days. This review is about Thursday Oct 15th and my surgery was the 13th. I myself am considering day of surgery day #1, so therefore, this is day #3

I wanted to write this review yesterday but I ended up falling asleep so I'll write about it now.

My boyfriend had to go back to work Thursday. He left for work at 5:15am and left my pain meds by the bed for me to take at 6am. I woke up at 8 and started to get ready for my first post op appointment. my mom arrived around 9am and we went to the appointment which was at 10am. I was also scheduled to take my pain meds at 10am but I skipped them purposely to see how it'd feel... the dr said that everything looked good.

he said:
-only icing if i feel necessary
-i can take a shower (yay!)
-i can start sleeping on my back (not reclined/upright) whenever i feel ready for it)
-no protein bars/vitamins yet..not for 2 weeks
-i should begin doing massages on sunday
--- the disappointing part: they said the bras that i purchased were too lose. i thought for sure they'd be good. ESPECIALLY the medium front clip close one from walmart.. so i'll have to return all 3 that i bought and get a new one..a less comfy one :/

after that my mom and i went to get donuts and stopped and grabbed lunch. came home and ate tacos..it was more of my side boobs that were sore so I took 2 tylenol at 1pm and then just sat around, watched a movie, then decided we should go look for a front close bra. We went to Sears and my mom was so sweet. She is much bigger than I am in the chest area. She was trying on the bras over her shirt so we could get an idea f it would fit or not. She looked so ridiculous but it made me laugh.. the things moms will do for their daughters :) We decided on a hanes front zip, sized small (Hanes Women's Zip-Front High-Impact Sports Bra).. it was $15 so not too bad. we also looked at macy's and they had NOTHING in the bra section. no zip front ones. we thought that was weird and we thought we'd look for like the sport section but i started getting really hot and i didn't want to pass out so we left. we got back to my apartment around 5pm and i was in a little bit of pain..mainly side boob/under the armpit/rib area, so y mom got me 2 tylenol and got her stuff ready and left.

I worked on my side job (computer based) for a bit, and then my boyfriend got home and we ate dinner. I wanted to shower soo bad and was so excited for it..well, it wasn't as great as i thought it would be.
We took the bra off and of course, i was being so negative and nit picky. I still think the left is bigger than the right. my boyfriend tried to convince me that the left is more swollen.. whether or not it is, i dont know.. i know it's still too early to tell but i hate the waiting game.. so then i got depressed about that because i hated having 2 different sized breasts..

okay, so now the shower..washing my face was okay. i kinda had to lean my face into my hands rather than bringing my hands to my face.. my boyfriend attempted to wash my hair with 2-in-1. I know he did he best but i just feel like he getting it all snarly and not doing a good job. i tried to be patient because i know it couldn't have been easy for him either. we finished washing up which was also not as luxurious as i thought it'd be.. it's weird having boobs. it just feels different (obviously. haha), but it sucks not being able to even take a shower without being limited. my bf dried me off, and then we tried the hanes bra .... it was WAY to small. we had to smush my boobs together to get it to zip and i really dont think they are supposed to smush together that way yet.. to make matters worse, my BF took the tag off the bra because he thought it was going to fit.. he said he was just trying to help because then after we got it on, he wouldn't have to worry about taking the tag off.. but i flipped out on him after already being so emotional about the whole shower thing. I'm just so confused as to what type of bra i'm supposed to wear. it's frustrating because i don't know in the store and then I have to make all of these trips to return them.. and now I can't even return this one. luckily it was only $15 so it's not a huge deal.. after i few minutes i started crying and apologized and just let it all out about how frustrating everything is for me.. he wasn't mad in the least bit, he just wishes there was more he could do for me.... i also really hate when my hair is wet and he was having the worst time trying to get my hair into a towel/twist. lol

I got into my comfy clothes and laid in bed. I didn't want to go to sleep yet but once i was in bed there really wasn't any turning back. I fell asleep around 9:30, my bf woke me up around 10pm to take my pain meds. I did take a hydrocodone instead of tylenol because i wanted it to help me sleep. i slept pretty good, woke up around 2am to use the bathroom..woke up at 5ish when my bf got up for work.. i think i took 2 tylenol at that time and went back to bed.. woke up around 8am to use the bathroom, and went back to sleep til 10am. i made myself breakfast, took my antibiotics and 2 more tylenol. I'm trying to wean myself off of the hydrocodone because i haven't had a bowel movement yet despite 2 glasses of metamucil and 2 dulcolax tablets. I'm thinking of taking 2 dulcolax tablets when i finish this review because the directions said "take 1-2 tablets..etc.".. i'm so sick of being bloated..

So, so far today, no hydrocodone. my left breast hurts a little bit if i move a certain way, but nothing unbearable.. I also haven't experienced morning boob yet.. not sure if this happens after a while or if it happens after i'm off meds.

I think that's it for now.. I'm home alone today until my boyfriend gets home from work. hopefully everything will go smoothly :)

3 days post surgery (aka day 4) - stomach pains and bowel movements

Hi ladies,
not gonna beat around the bush here, this post is mainly about my bowel movements and stomach pain. haha

yesterday (Friday) was pretty boring> I was home alone and managed everything on my own pretty well. I had 2 small bowel movements in the afternoon, but they were so small I barely consider them real lol.

i am so sick of eating process/comfort foods. I hate the thought of canned/jarred peaches but i had been eating them cause i heard they were good for you. they actually gross me out quite a bit. i eat healthy/unprocessed foods 90% of the time so this is tough on me..my boyfriend got home and we had chicken and brown rice for dinner. shortly after dinner i got really bad stomach pains, mainly when i would stand up. they would be fairly intense for like, 5 seconds and then go away.. i didn't feel like i had to poop though. my boyfriend said he was going to go to the store to either get maximum strength laxatives or milk of magnesia. i told him no, we'd see how i felt in the morning. while he showered and got ready for bed, i sat on the toilet and attempted to have a bowel movement, but nothing happened..i didn't even feel like i had to go for the entire HALF HOUR that i sat there..my feet were falling asleep!

the stomach pains didnt go away. even when I layed on my inclined pillows at night, i had to keep bending my knees to bring them as close to me as possible because that helped the pain. i went to bed around 930pm, i woke up at 11pm (im guessing from the pain), sat on the toilet for 10 min, no luck.. i woke up a couple more times during the night, i'm guessing from the stomach pains.. and 330am i woke up again and sat on the toilet for 10 min.. when i got back into bed i had more pain and i must have been making noise because my boyfriend woke up.. he said "I'm going to wegmans to get something for you." (a grocery store 2min from us).. i said no and started crying. he was going into work today to work a half day overtime and i didn't want him to wake up early to go to the store for me and be tired during the day.. i wished i hadn't been so stubborn and let him go in the evening. so anyway , i started crying because i felt so bad .. i didn't want my stomach to hurt and he has been an absolute godsend for me during the surgery. so i told him to sleep for 15 more min and then go to the store.

he got back around 430am and i didn't know what to expect from the milk of magnesia.. it wasn't awful, it tasted like room temp. almond milk kind of. so i drank that and went back to sleep and he went to work. i woke up for good around 10am and tried to go to the bathroom. i went a little little bit and it HURT. sorry if this is too much information, but i thought that bowel movement was going to be HUGE.. it wasn't though, so i was kind of disappointed. I went into the bedroom and had stomach pains again so i turned around and went right back on the toilet... and then.............. a real bowel movement!!! i was so excited! this one i didn't have to force out either. so, i'd say, since my surgery i've had 1 real bowel movement and 3 small/dont really count bowel movements. lol

i'm still taking my antibiotics but i'm not taking hydrocodone anymore and haven't since wednesday night i think.. i'm even trying to wean off the tylenol and haven't taken any of that since yesterday at 3pm.

my left breast hurts a little as i think i said before. it started to hurt when the dr showed me how to do the massages (that i start tomorrow), but it's nothing unbearable. Even with the bowel movements, i'm still a bit bloated and i've attached a picture (compare it to the one i took in a sports bra before surgery and you can see the bloat). this picture is from me this morning, after my 1.5 bowel movements and nothing to eat yet today.

after my bf gets home from work today I think we might try to find another front close bra and get a redbox movie.. he said he has a friend from his hometown that is moving away and he wants to go to his going away party this evening.. even though i'm so sick of being alone, i want him to go because being home with me will be no fun and he deserves to go..

hope everyone else is doing well!! I think i might try to take more progress pictures today

OH- while i was finishing this up i was on the phone with my mom. she said her and my aunt are going to meet at my apartment (its about halfway for the both of them) and then they are going to drive up together to see my sister. UGH.. i really really hope my aunt doesn't try to hug me. i have to act as normal as possible and i'm really worried. i'll let you know how it goes!

4 days post surgery -- feeling good

Alright, 4 days post surgery.

Not much to update on since i posted my last review this AM, but I did take some pictures that i wanted to share.

My bf and I went to Sears today and got the hanes bra in a medium. That one kind of fit but it was still pretty tight. I think i'm gonna wear it for a little bit but mainly wear the surgical bra until my appointment on the 22nd. I'm afraid of it being too small and my boobs being smushed. I want them to heal the right way so I feel like I should play it safe and wear the surgical bra

I finally wore some normal clothes today. You can barely tell I got surgery with a shirt on, which is great! they look just like they did when i wore a padded bra

I'm afraid they are far apart from each other, but honestly, i don't even feel like worrying about that right now. I'm just gonna wait a few weeks/months and see what they look like.

i took another shower today and this one was better.. but thats probably because i didn't get my hair washed lol. my boyfriend is going to his friends going away party this evening so i didn't want to rush him. plus, i want to wash my hair tomorrow (sunday) before i go back to work on monday and since i don't plan on going anywhere tomorrow, i figured i could go another day with my grease ball hair not getting washed lol.

i also added a picture of my sleeping arrangements. for sleeping on an incline, it's actually pretty comfy.. it's way comfier than sleeping in the recliner.

one week

Alrighty, I was going to post this yesterday... I pre-wrote it during my lunch break and then I was too tired in the evening:

I haven't done an update in a few days. today marks 1 week with boobs!

On Sunday after I showered, I was a little disappointed..It still looked like my left was bigger than my right -- I know, it hadn't even been a week at that point -- but I was still bummed. My boyfriend convinced me to try on the clearanced Warner's wirefree bra that I bought a month or so ago. it was maybe $3-$4 so if it didn't fit, I wouldn't be upset. He helped me try it on (but refused to clip the back) and it fit! With it on, you coudln't tell that they were different sizes, and when I leaned forward, you COULDN'T SEE INTO THE RIGHT CUP! yaaayyy. He's sneaky like that, he knew if I tried stuff on, i'd get over the size issue...so at that point we're both thinking hmmm what else can I try on!? He picked out some dresses and helped me get those on , going bra-less. My boobs looked great, especially in the strapless dresses. I always had this weird shape when I wore strapless dresses - I'm sure you small/flat chested ladies can relate.. The top of the breast is flat, but then with the bra on, the dress suddenly sticks on.. well, now I have "top boob" as i'm going to call it. I was so happy when I looked at myself in the mirror.. i wanted to cry. I'm going to try these on again soon, soon, and look back at my photos to see if i have any of myself wearing the dresses

Sunday i also drove for the first time..not very far..maybe 2-5min drive to 2 grocery stores. Sharp turns were definitely hard..not impossible, just had to take them slow.

Monday I was heading back to work so my boyfriend woke me up and helped me dress, although I was doing pretty well by myself. I left for work an hour earlier than usual to try to beat rush hour. I was nervous, but overall I did good. There were more cars on the road than I thought there'd be. I only had a few sharp turns, and the rest was straight/wide turns. I also drove with my hands at 9 and 3 because I felt it was easier than driving with them at the bottom of the wheel... I got to work really early. I work at a college and I actually got a parking spot in the closest lot to my building, and that only happens when students are on break! I also usually back my car into a parking spot, so I got lucky with finding a "pull through" spot. Work was okay. I have a boring desk job, so my boobs felt pretty tight during the day, I think from having my arms forward all day at the keyboard/mouse. The ride home was better than the ride into work.. no nervousness. The only issue is merging into traffic. I like to actually look behind my shoulder vs in the mirror and I couldn't really do that so I looked over the best that I could and just hoped and prayed that nobody was in my blind spot.

Yesterday evening after looking at my boobs ( I look at them so much now, haha) my boyfriend and I both noticed that the left breast has dropped a lot more than the right. The right really doesn't even look like it has dropped at all. I know they drop at their own pace, so I'm not worried about it.. just getting impatient!

Today I only left 45 minutes earlier than usual for work, and I still got here pretty early. However, there were no pull through parking spots so I had to back up. It was a little tough but I did it. I've been trying to stretch a little more often than usual, just to open my chest up a bit so it's not so stiff.

My nipples are also pretty tender, only to the touch though. The right breast has more numbness around the incision (crease) than the left does.. I'm hoping it goes away, but I understand that it may not.

My next appointment is in 2 days on Thursday, and I believe I'm getting my stitches out then.

I took some pictures..the right is definitely wayyy higher than the left ..i also feel like i have way more side boob on the left, but maybe as the right drops i'll get side boob on that side as well.. Side boob isn't something that I really wanted.. as I looked at my boobs yesterday, I did wish they were closer, but i understand that may not be how my body physically is.. and maybe if my PS made the pocket was closer, then my nipples would be off centered? i dont know. I was feeling a bit down so I tried that wirefree bra on again so I could see that they DO look good in a bra :)

My left breast still hurts. It is starting to worry me because it's hurt since the 15th and doesn't seem to be getting any better. I worry about capsular contracture, but my boob isn't hard at all, so maybe i'm just crazy.

I'll try to update again tomorrow after my appointment

2 weeks already?!

2 weeks today?! thats crazy! i can't believe it's been that long.

The right is slowly dropping and everyday my new boobs feel more and more like a part of me. I started sleeping flat on my back (no incline) on Sunday the 25th and all has been well with that. I'm pretty sure I haven't experienced morning boob because my boobs feel fine in the morning.. maybe a little harder but not painful, so thats good!

Getting clothes on is getting easier and easier. sometimes I need help getting certain things off. For example, sweaters are easier to get on than off. As of right now, I'd say my boobs look a little bit bigger than they did when I used to wear a padded bra. I dont think I have boob greed. I mean, my clothes fit just about the same..so sometimes I think "wow, nobody will even know I got implants"..which is good, but there were clothes I could never wear before that I was hoping to wear now and I'm not sure I'll be able to. Ultimately, I think I will, because now I actually have boobs whereas before it was just flat with a padded bra. Either way, I'm definitely happier now than I was before. I'm going to my parents this weekend and that's where all of my bikinis are! I'll dig through pictures to find an old one of me in a triangle bikini top to compare to :)

On Thursday the 22nd I had my 2nd post op appointment. Dr said things were looking perfect. I asked him about the pain I was having in my left breast when leaning forward and he said not to worry about it. He also said my right would drop slower than my left because it's a bigger implant in a smaller pocket -- makes sense. He said to keep wearing the sports bra ..6 months of that will end on november 24th, yay! He said if I need to wear a dress or something, I can wear an underwire bra.

On Thursday I can start using scar cream if the tape over my incisions has fallen off. The nurse said it should fall off in about a week, the dr said 1-2 weeks. Since I'm able to be more aggressive with my massages, the tape is starting to peel a bit. He said to use vitamin e, mederma, or cocoa butter on the scar and to really massage it.. a couple times a day. I bought silicone scar sheets yesterday. It says to wear them for atleast 12 hours a day. As of now, my plan is to buy some sore of scar cream/gel and apply that 2x during the day, and then when I get home from work, put the scar sheets on and wear them from like 6pm-6am. Not sure what type of scar cream I'm going to buy yet though. I'm hesitant on bio oil because it has a lot of different purposes. I want something solely designed for scars. I know nobody will really see the scars, but I'd still like them to fade...as I type this I haven't even seen the incisions yet so I have no idea what I'm going to be dealing with!

Additionally on Thursday I can start taking multivitamins again, along with drinking herbal teas, protein powder/supplements. I'm excited for that because I'm getting sick of my green tea. I also looove protein pancakes so I'm excited to start eating those again too.

He also said on Thursday (the 29th) I can start light exercising but no weights. He said bike/treadmill/etc. I'm going to call and see if resistance on the bike is okay or if it has to be a leisurely bike ride. I'm getting really antsy to get back in the gym! I know my body has to heal, it's just tough because I feel okay..I'm not in pain..So in my head I'm like "my legs will be fine working out"..but then the muscles willl need to repair themselves and I know my breasts aren't fully healed so I don't want to compromise my recovery.

I weighed myself the other day and I weighed 116.8 ...yikes. I was 119/120 before surgery. While I'd like to say I lost the stubborn fat on my belly, I can't rule out that I may have lose some muscle too. .

I know I'm still early in the process and my right boob clearly still needs to drop, but I cant help but think 280cc and 300cc wasn't the right sizes to even my boobs out..maybe I should've gone 280 and 320.. I know I won't fully be able to tell what size my boobs are for months, but right now it's annoying. Sure, I love my new boobs, no doubt about that.. I just want them to be the same size.

back to the gym

Thursday the 29th I went back to the gym for the first time. This is what I did:

5 min warmup on bike
10 min "cross-country" setting on the bike (intervals)

After that, my heart was beating really fast. Typically, I'd think that was great -- I'm getting a good workout right? But since this was my first time back, I figured I should stop. I didn't want to get too crazy. So I cooled down on the bike for 2-3 more min.

Then I did:
a couple sets of leg extensions - very light weight. Instead of doing heavy extensions, I did light weight but held at the top
a couple sets of seated hamstring curls - same as above - lightweight and held at the bottom
bodyweight squats - I did mainly pulse squats, 15 pulses to 1 full squat.. I think I did that 4 times. Then i did 4 half squats to 1 squat for a couple of sets.. I might've done some sumo pulse squats but I can't remember
calf raises up the stairs -- 1 raise on the 1st step, 2 on the 2nd step, 3 on the 3rd, etc, to 10

Then I was going to attempt some glute kickbacks but my boyfriend came over and said his back was hurting, so we left. I didn't get as much glute stuff in as I'd like, it was mainly my quads, but for the first time being back I think it was enough.

Everything felt fine. I just felt like a pansy not being able to do much haha

today my calves are sore but everything else is okay

3 weeks. day #2 at the gym

Yesterday marked 3 weeks since my surgery. Not much has changed between
week 2 and week 3.

I think I forgot to mention in my last post that I've been having back
pain, although I'm not sure if its 100% related to my surgery.. I have
scoliosis and even before my surgery, when I'd try to have really good
posture, my right back would tingle in the same spot (upper right near
shoulder blade).. My trap has been really sore lately, and maybe it is
becaue I've been trying to pull my shoulders back so I'm not hunch
backed..anyway, it's been really annoying and my BF has been trying to
massage it in the evening. I was going to go to the gym Monday evening but my back hurt too bad so I went Tuesday instead

this time I did
5min warmup on treadmill
On cable machine:
-12 glutekickbacks 10lb, 12 hip adductor 10lb, 12 hip abductor 10lb x2 then
added 6lb and did another set
-same thing as above on other leg
-12 pulse squats to 1 full squat x3 (3 sets of that,so 108 total pulses)
-12 backward lunges each leg x3
-12 pulse sumo squats to 1 full squat x3 (3 sets)
-12 bulgarian split squats each leg x3

after that my quads were pretty sore and I was walking a little funny.. i wanted more of a glute workout, but i felt it more in my quads. I'm saving
hamstrings for Friday. My quads were sore while going upstairs after they
gym, and they're sore today. My glutes are but sore as well..we'll see
how they feel as the day progresses.

It's weird looking at myself in the mirror at the gym..My boobs were always
so tiny wearing a sports bra and now I feel like I'm wearing a padded
bra...except i'm not, those are my boobs!!! I also noticed how incredibly
flat my butt is. Maybe it didn't look so flat before because I had a flat
chest. Now that I have boobs, that butt has GOT to grow. I've got some work
to do. LOL

As for my boobs, the right is still higher than the left.. I'm getting so
impatient, but I know I'm still early in the game.

I took some pictures in a bikini top at my parents last weekend. My BF
tried to get my to put the bottoms on, but I was too cold.. he said my
tweety bird pajama pants "just aren't cutting it" haha too bad.

I also took some pictures in one of my old sports bras yesterday just to
see how it looked on me.. it looked great! not supportive at all, but it
still looked good.. and i think in the picture you can still see my bicep,
so all hope is not lost with my muslces :)

1 month -- feeling kinda depressed

I haven't been doing so good at keeping up to date with Real Self and with everyone's journeys. I want to be more involved, but I get SO many Real Self notifications, it's so hard to keep up with them all.

Not much has changed since last week. I did forget to mention some things so I'll mention them here:

Nipple sensitivity is decreasing, even from last week. Sometimes in the shower the water will hit my nipples just right and it hurts, but not a big deal.

I think I have some nerve damage/numbness beneath my left breast, but not much. The right is a different story. I have numbness from beneath my right boob, to beneath the armpit, even to my lat muscle. It's soo annoying just because I hate the feel of numbness..is that an oxymoron? you know what I mean.

I think I have the slighest bit of mondors cords on the right breast but I'm really not sure. I can only see it if I pull my skin, but it doesn't hurt. I'll try to take a picture of it and add it on here. Maybe it's not mondors cord at all?

If I had to rate my happiness with new boobs as of right now, I'd say I'm 90-95% happy. I know the right is still higher, but I can't get over that they arent the same size. Sure, it's minimal difference, but I paid good money and I wanted them to be the same size. I'm afraid that when my right fully finishes dropping, what if it doesn't fill out my bra cup? I also have way more side boob on the left side than on the right. I just don't see myself getting that much more side boob on the right when it finishes dropping. These issues arent enough for me to go in for a revision, i'm not THAT upset with it.. just depressed I guess. I know I just need to get over it and be happy that I have boobs now.

Sleeping on my back is getting so old. When I tried to start sleeping on my back 1 month before surgery, it was almost impossible to fall asleep. It's easier now, but i looove sleeping in fetal position on my side. I've been waking up on my side sometimes (not fully on my side, just turned a bit), so I move back onto my back. My boyfriend wakes up before me and if I"m on my side he'll wake me up and tell me to get onto my back. haha, I just tell him to stop nagging me and whine that I hate sleeping on my back. BUT. I just called my dr office today to check on that and the nurse said it is okay for me to sleep on my side! yaaayy. I'll still probably try to sleep on my back because I know it's better for you, but now I won't be worried if I wake on my side.

OH. I almost forgot. Regarding my post from last week and my workout. HOLY CRAP. i was SO sore . so so so so so sore. even my hamstrings. I couldn't go to the gym on Friday like I planned because I was too sore. haha. I went to the gym again yesterday and modified that same workout a bit and my glutes are feelin it today! I want to get back in and lift upper body soo bad. My next appointment is next Thursday (the 19th) so I'll see if I can start light upper body. In my head, I don't see how light dumbbell curls could be a problem, but I won't do anything I'm not supposed to.

What else. oh, at my last appointment my doctor said I could wear a wirefree bra if I needed to, so I wore a wirefree bra over the weekend because I went to some social events with my aunt. I love how I looked in the sweater. I attached the picture on this post.

Almost forgot -- I started using silicone scar strips last Thursday. I've been trying to wear them for atleast 12 hr a day and then I've been using scar gel 2-3x a day when the strips aren't on. I attached pictures of my incisions as well. They are pretty red still...is that normal? They dont hurt or feel irritated.

I bought a bra online yesterday from victorias secret because there was an amazing promotion going on. I got a $48 bra (wirefree) + 2 secret reward cards for $34!! Since each reward card will be atleast $10, its kind of like I got the bra for $14. Can't wait til it comes in the mail. I ordered a 34C because that's what my Warner's bra is, but I heard VS can be weird with sizing so if it doesn't fit, hopefully I'll just be able to swap it in store. I'll post a pic of it when I get it in the mail

I've been meaning to create some comparison collages, but it's tough because sometimes I take pictures in different lighting, so it might not be worth trying to compare. I'll try to throw something together though.

incision pictures

here are my incisions. forgot to add them on my previous post

5 weeks post op update / appointment

Hi Ladies,
Since my last post, I've spent less time infront of the mirror for my own good. Nit picking was getting ridiculous. I should be HAPPY that my boobs do not look like the used to. I have not been upset with my boobs since I stopped critiquing them. From the little bit that I have looked at them, it looks like the right has dropped some. The moment I even start critiquing them, I walk away from the mirror and put my bra/shirt back on.

I had my 5/6 weeks post op appointment yesterday. here's a recap

- I asked about nerve damage and how long it could take to reverse. The right breast is what's annoying. As I said in my last post, there's numbness almost all the way to my lats. He said that was not surprising because the right breast was smaller and needed a bigger implant. He said it could take up to a year to reverse (if it DOES reverse)

- I asked about the breasts being uneven. He showed me my before picture, and my boobs were indeed uneven before. I suppose I used to think it was just size difference, but they actually were not even, regardless of size. That made me feel SO much better. It's something I'm coming closer to accepting now. My boobs look 100x better than they did before, I don't want to be upset about it anymore.

- I CAN start doing household chores again. darn. I said to the doctor "I think I already know the answer, but, I'm not going to be able to wash dishes ever again, right?" he laughed and said he could write me a note that said I can't..

- He said to keep massaging the scar with scar treatment (which reminds me, I haven't done that yet today! oops).

- I can't lay on my chest for 6 more months

- I am free to do whatever I want in the gym..obviously take it easy and build back up to where I was... YAY.. I was getting so impatient. He also so I will be able to do chest isolation exercises in the future..I've heard some doctors are against it, so I had to ask.

- and.....saved the best for last I CAN WEAR REAL BRAS!! he said I can wear any kind I want..wire or non wire. thank goodness! I was sososososososo SO sick of sports bras!

I don't have another appointment to go back, which I thought was odd. My "after" pictures were taken...which again, I thought I still had healing/dropping/fluffing to do, so I didn't understand pics at 5/6 weeks, but oh well... If I want to come back/have questions/whatever, I can make an appointment and it will be free of charge.

I'll upload some pictures now, but I do want to upload some other ones later/this weekend. My boyfriend wondered how I'd look in my bridesmaid dress that I wore in a wedding a few days before surgery. I think I'll try that on and maybe do a side by side photo comparison.

For the fitness ladies, here's what I did at the gym this morning. I didn't want to focus on one muscle today, so I kind of did a bunch of upper body just to get the feel of things:

I did some bicep/hammer curls..static holds/ the 4/4/4 (4 half up, 4 half down, 4 full) and some negative curls ..I only used 7.5lb .. I probably could've done 10 but I didn't want to overdo it. For side note, I typically curl 12.5 and once in a while I'll curl 15 for a few reps

I attempted single arm cable tricep pushdowns with 10lb, but that was a no go...I grabbed my elbow and pretended like it hurt so I wouldn't look weird doing half a rep and then walking away hahah. I did 3x10 dumbbell tricep kickbacks with 7.5lb and those were okay

Next I did some abs. I tried weighted declines with a 10lb plate, but could only go about half way down because my chest felt weird. I did 3 sets of 20 (10 weighted, 10 non weighted)..Usually I use a 15lb dumbbell (just keeping this info on here so other fitness ladies can compare/know what to expect/and I can keep track of my progress for how long it takes me to get back to where I was). I did some standing oblique dips (not sure if thats what they are called), with 12.5lb dumbbell. 2 sets of 15 on each side maybe? I usually use 17.5lb-20lb. I couldn't "dip" as far down as I'd like, but hey, I'll take what I can get! Oh, I also tried decline russian twists with the 10lb plate, but it was hard to twist so I had to twist slow..that was annoying so I didn't do very many of those. Maybe 2 sets of 10... I also did a different kind of ab exercise using the cable machine> i attached the ankle cuff and took a few steps out towards a machine that wasn't being used. I leaned over on that a bit and brought the leg w/ the cuff forward towards my chest..I did 2 x 10 of those each leg with 10-15lb

Next was shoulders. I grabbed 5lb dumbbells and did some front raises. I was leary on side raises because I can't fully lift my arms 100% comfortably yet, but I did do some. I also did some steering wheels with a 10lb plate.

It's been about 5hrs since my workout, and nothing is sore or hurts..hopefully it will stay that way but i'll definitely update if it does start to hurt.

Here's to getting a rockin' bod! with boobs now :) :) :)

comparison pics/clothing pics

Okay, I FINALLY got these comparison pictures done, plus took some more
pictures in clothes/bras.

-The black bra is a warner's wirefree..so comfortable
-The red is a Victoria's secret wirefree..also very comortable & soft
-The white sports bra. I have 2 of these that I bought years ago .. they
are 34A and they never fit me.. yes, 34A?!?! what on earth. how is this a
34A??? no idea how that works but it fits so I'll take it haha
-The pink tank top.. my boobs look huge in this shirt!! I'm only wearing a
lightly lined bra..not padded. Its amazing how some clothes you can hardly
tell I have bigger boobs and some clothes it's like, woah!!
I don't have bras on in any of the dress comparison pictures
-the purple strapless bridesmaid dress. I wore this in a wedding 3 days
before my surgery!
- the white and black dress has never been worn. I bought it 2 years ago but it didn't fit right. this is actually the dress that solidified my decision to get a BA. I tried it on in the summer thinking I was going to wear it for an event, but it didn't fit right because of my boobs and I got so depressed and sad and right then I thought to myself " I do not want to deal with this anymore , there's no way I'm not getting a BA". and now it fits :)
-the dark greenish dress: I wore this to a wedding in September of 2014!
Still fits. I think it kinda makes me look heavy but maybe it was just the
way I was standing/had it on?
-the mint dress I wore to a bridal shower in July of 2015. I didn't have a
side profile pic from July so I just used the frontal pic

and then the boob pictures. I wanted to upload this one because of what I
learned at my last appointment. I never noticed my right boob had ALWAYS
been higher to begin with. Its less noticeable with my small boobs, but if
you look closely, the unevenness is definitely there..that makes me feel so
much better about my results.

2 months with boobs !

I've been slacking on keeping up with updates, so I apologize. I decided today (on my day off) I would finally do another update. I checked the calendar to see how many weeks post op I am, and wow, 2 months!!

I haven't seen much change in my breasts, but I haven't been paying a whole lot of attention to them anymore. They feel like a part of me now. I don't stand in front of the mirror any more and criticize them. I am HAPPY with them.. so happy. I have to laugh as I'm thinking about this: yesterday i even said to my boyfriend as we were sitting on the couch "Want to see my boobs?" hahaha. I finally feel feminine.

I'm starting to take risks (not sure if thats the right way to put it) with movements. Maybe "testing my limits" would be a better way to put it. I'm using my arms to scootch in bed more often and using them to help myself get up when I'm sitting on the floor. I even attempted to get in the push up position the other day and it didn't hurt! I didn't actually do a push up, but I didn't think I would be able to get in that position and I did so I was excited about that. I don't think I'd be able to get in a plank position on my elbows yet though. Once in a while I'll reach for something too high up and i'll get a weird feeling, but no pain :)

I feel like my scars are still pretty red. I forgot to take a picture of them, so maybe my next update will have a picture. They aren't raised like they used to be though. I haven't had a surgery with a scar since 2005, so I don't remember how long that scar was red for!

Sorry this post was so boring..like I said, there hasn't been a whole lot going on!

A little nervous -- pocket concern??

Alrighty, I'm almost 3 months post op and my left breast still feels weird. Surgery was 10/13. I looked back at my posts and on 10/15 my left breast started hurting after my doctor showed me how to do the massages. At one of my appointments, I told him my concern and that when I bent forward, it felt like it was sliding, and he said that was okay.

I wouldn't say it HURTS now, but it feels weird. I'm trying to figure out how to explain it. When I push my breast outwards, the lower part of my breast feels like there's not enough room in there and that something is getting pushed against? Again, not really sure if thats the correct way to describe it.

I was watching a BA review today on youtube from a fitness lady, and she was talking about how doing too much upper body workouts too soon can cause the implant to fall out of the pocket?? I've been cautious when lifting upper body but the pocket thing caught my attention. Now I'm freaking out and making up scenarios in my head: When the dr first showed me how to do the massages, could something have happened to the pocket?? I'm freaking myself out! I called the office and they were able to squeeze me in on Monday afternoon ...Will update after that!

a little bit of relief

I had my appointment yesterday and the doctor wasn't concered at all. He said what I'm feeling is normal because the implant can indeed be hitting other muscles/tissues/etc besides the pectoral muscles. He said that the implant was between layers of tissues and something about fascia muscle/tissue(?). My medical terms might not be correct, but he said definitely don't worry. Of course, I still don't like how it feels, but if he says its normal, then I guess I'm going to try to stop worrying!

14.5 months post op review- chin-ups, lap swimming, no regrets.

Hi ladies! I've been meaning to write this post since October and it just kept getting pushed further and further down on my to-do list. I dont really have a whole lot to say, but I wanted to give an update. I'll try not to be all over the place with my thoughts!

So far, so good. If you've read my previous posts, you know I had some weird pain/feeling in my left breast. For the most part, thats gone...Well, either its gone or I've just gotten used to it, but I'd like to think the weird feelings subsided. I swam again in November for the first time since my surgery. I swam competitively for 10 years so still being able to lap swim after surgery was a huge concern for me. I got in the pool and did freestyle and immediately wasn't sure if I'd be able to do more than 2 laps. The feeling in the lower part of my breast was odd. The feeling was more prominent in the left breast. I wouldn't say it was PAIN, just a weird feeling. I continued swimming and along came shoulder pain (..getting old sucks haha). I swam a little over a mile and then stopped because I was afraid of irritating my shoulder/chest muscles. Since then, I swam probably 3 more times. The weird feeling in my chest had always returned when I started swimming, but after a while it goes away. I kind of think swimming again was good for me..just to use those muscles again.

Another success in terms of working out is ..........I CAN DO CHIN UPS AGAIN!!! Prior to surgery, my personal best was about 17 body weight chin ups. They make me feel strong and I was really eager to get back to doing them again. I started doing assisted chin ups on the assisted chin up machine at the gym. The very first time I tried it (i dont remember how many assisted pounds I used), it felt weird..too much strain on my chest so I stopped and I was super bummed. I kept at it though, little by little, and I believe on my one-year post op day, i did ONE body weight chin up, unassisted. I was thrilled. So it's been about 2.5 months since then and I can do 5-6 unassisted chin ups, so I'm getting there :). Push ups were also something that made me feel strong. I feel those are more chest-focused though, so I dont think I'll try to get back to where I was prior to the breast augmentation. I think I can do 1 or 2 push ups now..It makes me feel super pathetic but I don't want to mess anything up so I just avoid trying to do them.

Other than that, not much else to say besides I am very happy with my choice to get a breast augmentation. Now that I'm used to having them, sometimes I feel I could've went bigger, but then I think about how flat I was before and what I have now is perfect for me. I'm so much more comfortable in my own skin and I don't get depressed trying on bras/tops.

I'm going to add some updated photos tomorrow

Any questions on anything, please please feel free to ask or send me a message. If there was something I wrote about in a previous post that I didn't follow up on in this post, and you want to know how things are going, just ask!

updated pictures

here are some updates pictures. i included a side by side comparison of my wish boobs vs my results
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