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Hi Everyone. I'm 23yr old, 5'4 120lb and really...

Hi Everyone.
I'm 23yr old, 5'4 120lb and really frustrated because the post I just wrote got completely erased and now I have to start all over! LOL.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted boobs. I remember being in like, 4th grade and being excited to grow up and have boobs. Fast forward to 8th grade and I still hadn't developed any yet. In high school, I would sometimes wear 2 bras. There came a time when I realized I probably wasn't going to get boobs. My older sister is around the same size as me, even a tad smaller. My mom and her mom have a decent size chest, but the women on my dad's side are flat... lucky me got my dad's genes! When I was around 17 I read somewhere that women's breasts can continue to develop until 19-20yrs old..nope, not mine! So during my years of college I tried pills, creams, herbs, etc. to try to get my breasts to grow. They didn't. At that point, a BA was never an option. I thought that was so fake.

For at least the past year, I've been really really self conscious about my boobs. The left one is probably a 34B and the right is an A. So I could either wear a 34A bra and have my left boob smushed in there, or wear the B and have my right boob floating in there. I've been wearing a 34B and along with that I typically wear a cami under every shirt. If I bend over even a little, anyone looking could see my right boob because it doesn't fill out the bra and the material doesn't lay flat against my skin. That has been a major insecurity of mine. Before a BA was even an idea, my boyfriend of 3 years always told me I was beautiful and sexy. I just don't see it. at all. I don't feel feminine at all. I want a breast augmentation for myself. It's not the "oh all my friends have boobs, I want them".. it's a self confidence thing. I dont like looking at my body. I'm ashamed of how my breasts look. I want to love my body and love looking at it. I want to feel feminine.

I had a BA consultation last week and I told the doctor that I just want "some" boobs. I don't want anything huge. Ideally, some people (acquaintances) may not even know I got surgery. The doctor recommended a
silicone high profile implant, 300cc in my right breast and 280cc in my left. He said that would bring me to a C cup. I am so worried that it's going to be too big. I made another appointment for next thursday to try
the sizers on again with different outfits. I'm hoping that will ease my worries and I'll be able to schedule the surgery. I'm looking at mid October.

I talked with my mom about it and she initially said she didn't think it was a good idea. I explained to her how unhappy I was with them, and of course talking about my uneven breasts made me start crying and once she realized how uncomfortable I was with them, she was more open to the idea.
SO, that being said, even though this is ultimately my decision, I do want her support in this. Especially because I might need her help after surgery!

She said for me to look for a reputable surgeon and find out the risks/etc/ and she was pretty concerned about pregnancy/breastfeeding. I'm worried
about that as well. Can anyone give insight on that? She said in the past that her boobs didn't grow much during her 2 pregnancies. She breastfed as well and her boobs don't look too deflated (so maybe I have those genes?) Does it depend on the person? I read that they could move or drop during
pregnancy so I am concerned about that.

I'll add some photos of my body so you can get an idea of my body frame. I'll also upload "wish boobs". I'll try to get some actual photos of my boobs later today or by the end of the week.

Any comments/tips/stories to share would be fantastic!

pictures

Here's what I'm currently at.. Obviously lacking in the boob area....the left is bigger than the right and i HATE how the right doesn't fill out a bra... The shape of my breasts are something I'm also really self conscious about

surgery is scheduled! 10/13

AH. I scheduled my BA yesterday.. it's real now! October 13th!!!