PicoSure Removal for Two Tattoos on Outer Calves on Medium Toned Skin

Ok well let me start off by saying It's so comforting to have stumbled upon this supportive community. I honestly felt so alone during this process and was driving myself insane with anxiety (still kinda am.. but I have my ups and downs).

I am a heavily tattooed 32 year old.. I've been getting tattooed for almost 7 years.. with absolutely no regrets for any of my choices... until now. So my boyfriend is an amazing tattoo artist (unfortunately he does not specialize in cover ups lol) and he was taking a trip to MA for a guest spot at a tattoo shop. I came down to visit him for the weekend and impulsively decided that I wanted to cover up this little blob of a tattoo I had gotten when I was 19. So I consulted with one of their very reputable artists there.. she has like 56K followers on instagram-- so I felt pretty confident about her body of work. I decided on a hummingbird with flowers. I saw the drawing and loved it instantly, so she tattooes it on me.. a very painful 6 hours later I can pretty much immediately tell she wasn't happy with the outcome.. she didn't even post it in her portfolio as she normally does with all her work. I wasn't too thrilled about it, but figured I'd let it heal and see how I felt then. I included a fresh picture of the tattoo.. Unfortunately I don't have a healed photo of it, only photos of the current removal. Anyway, I'm not sure if she was having a really bad day, or didn't know how to work with someone my skin tone, but the tattoo came out super dark and semi blown out. I tired to just ignore the hideous thing and it was kind of easy to since it's on the outer side of my leg.

Fast forward to this past September.. I'm currently going through a very difficult time in my life-- a temporary move because I live in a flood zone, a foot sprain that caused me to defer my entry into the NYC marathon (which happened during the move), and just general frustration and boredom at my job that I've been at for 4 years. So my boyfriend goes back to that same tattoo shop to do another guest appearance, and I impulsively decide to get another tattoo on the same leg, inner side of my ankle of...... a running banana. I'm a long distance runner, and love bananas.. so decided it was a great way to embody the two things I love the most.. Big mistake!!! Now no offense to the artist that did the tattoo.. he, unlike the other woman, did an extraordinary job and it healed amazingly.. but after seeing my tattoo in a photo at a friends wedding, it just looked absolutely obnoxious and large and I just didn't like it anymore. It actually kind of looks like a carrot :(

So this set me off on a whirlwind of emotions... and made me notice the tattoo I ignored on the other side of my calf even more.. What did I do to myself?? I'm a runner and my muscular legs are my most prized possession and I've ruined them :(.

So I finally open up and admit this to my boyfriend. He was very supportive. He luckily just made friends with the owner of a reputable tattoo removal company in White Plains, that treat tattoo artists for free. I'm not a tattoo artist, but since my boyfriend is, they extended the offer to me.

So the day of the appointment comes and I'm a nervous wreck from reading everything on google about the procedure. I literally almost passed out in the treatment chair because I was so anxious. The owner was so nice and informative and calmed my nerves..'they even gave me a stress ball to squeeze during the procedure.

She only treated half of the hummingbird tattoo to see how my skin would react to the laser. Since I'm a medium toned Hispanic, she has to be extra care with my skin to avoid scarring. She was honest and told me she's not sure how long it will take to remove both tattoos until we start with the healing process, but since I'm just lightening them for a cover up, it won't take as long as if I wanted full removal. The cover up will most likely have to be a whole lower leg sleeve in order to work out correctly.

My next appointment is Dec 14th, and I'm hoping to laser the bottom half of the hummingbird and the entire banana. In the meantime, which is kind of daunting.. my boyfriend and I will be going on a trip to sunny Puerto Rico.. of which I'll have to wear pants, knee high socks, and boots, to prevent sun exposure to my leg during the healing process :(. I tan really easily so I have to be super careful. One positive, is that for the first 3 days my boyfriend will be working at a tattoo convention there, with a lot of well known reputable artists-- one of which I have a consultation with about a cover up in the near future. Fingers crossed he isn't taken back by the enormous mess I've made on my legs and is willing to help me out :/

Until then.. here are some photos. The first are freshly healed images of the tattoos. And the rest are current ones.. One being the hummingbird with half of it lasered off --3 weeks post picosure. I honestly don't see much of a difference besides some greens breaking up and some patchy hyperpigmentation. My leg looks even worse than it did before, but I've already started the process so I have to commit to finishing this. Thank goodness it's winter time here in New Jersey and I can hide my legs until at least mid-May.

Thanks for reading.. I'm looking forward to documenting my progress and appreciate any comments or feedback. Expressing myself here is therapeutic.. I hope to look back at this one day and laugh.. while I admire my beautiful leg sleeve.. Gotta stay present and take this one day at a time.

I've fallen into a deeper depression because of my impulsive idiotic mistakes. The holidays are proving to be a very difficult time for me. All these family gatherings trying to put up a facade of happiness when I'm feeling so empty inside. I can hardly eat, I haven't been running.. all I want to do is sleep. I know things only get better with time, but this just seems like forever.

All this uncertainty is driving me insane. I have no idea how many treatments it's going to take to be ready for a cover up. And with each treatment having to be 12 weeks apart it's going to take forever :(

I'm dreading my trip to Puerto Rico next week having to keep my legs shielded from the sun the entire time. I've reached out to a couple reputable tattoo artists in hopes that they would be willing to take me on once I'm ready for a cover up, but no one has been answering my emails. I've made a huge mess on my legs that's no one is willing to fix.