My boobies have never been something I've enjoyed...
My boobies have never been something I've enjoyed looking at, talking about, or showing off. From a pretty young age, I knew there was something off about them... But I wasn't sure what it was until I started doing my research (thanks Google!).
Long story short, I came to find that I have "Tuberous Breast Deformity" or tubular breasts, Snoopy boobs, whatever you'd like to call it. Lucky for me, I landed myself an incredible guy who loves them regardless, but I, myself have never seemed to conquer the shame and insecurity they cause me. Despite the agonizing wait, I put off having this surgery until I turned 22 because I knew (through my endless hours of research) that silicon was what I wanted (depending on where you are, this may vary, but for me, I legally couldn't get silicon implants until the age of 22).
So here I am! 22 years old and ready to rid myself of these teeny nuisances that have caused me so much insecurity and self-consciousness! I'm 4 days away from my BA and I could not be more ecstatic! :)
And as an aside, here is some more info on me, just in case you're wonderin'.
Current Bra Size: 36A
The Nerves Are Here
Had a hard time sleeping last night. Tossed and turned, not really because I was nervous, but just because I was anxious... If that makes sense? The realization that my body is going to be undergoing a pretty huge change soon has become very apparent, lol
Today at work I had a bit of an anxiety attack, but after coming on here and reading more positivity, I started to feel better :) My PS actually prescribed me Xanax because I told her about how anxious I can get, so I think those will definitely come in hand the night before my surgery!
Trying to think happy thoughts!
2 Days Pre-Op
Haven't seen many cases here of girls with tubular breasts, so I thought I'd show you guys what I'm workin' with!
2 Days Pre-Op [PHOTOS]
I guess the other photos didn't want to upload? Here is me, in all my natural glory!
Uh oh... The Boob Greed Has Already Set In!
I've already started to think that my original "ideal size" is not so ideal anymore... lol
To reiterate, I'm 5'9" and about 135lbs.
To be a size C is my main goal. I definitely don't want to go any bigger than that. But lets face it, there is more than one type of "C cup." I'm starting to think I'd like to be a nice, FULL C cup.
First, I wanted to be just a B cup.
Then I said, 'Okay, a small C'
Now? 'BRING ON THE BAZOOKAS!'
I will definitely be reiterating to my PS tomorrow at my pre-opt apt. that I do want those curves up top. I'm really curvy on the bottom (tiny waist, huge hips) so I want the upper half to match so that I can finally feel proportional!
Boob Envy [PHOTOS]
Ah, bobbie inspiration. Oh how I've stared at these photos in admiration for so many years...
This is the look and size that I hope to achieve with my BA.
A HUGE Thank You
I'm at work so I must make this quick, but to all of the ladies out there who have ALREADY helped so much in offering me their support, kind words and reassurance, you have no idea the gratitude I have for you.
Honestly, if it were not for this site, I think my anxiety would be through the roof at this point, seeing as my BA is TOMORROW!!!!
I wish I could send you all flowers and chocolates and give you all a huge hug. I've only been a part of this site for a few days, and already I've found so many wonderful girls who share in my excitement, my fear, and my experiences. So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. You all mean the world to me :)
Tomorrow Is The Big Day!
So today at 3pm I had a pre-op and marking appointment with my PS. Because my appointment is so early (7am), my PS decided to mark me the day before to save us time and save me having to wake up any earlier, lol So in case you're wondering what it looks like to get marked, I've included a photo, just for fun ;)
Today's The Day!
29 Apr 2014
Day of treatment
Just finished showering. Heading for the hospital soon!
I slept like a baby last night thanks to my new friends, Xanax, lol Still no nerves yet but I'm STARVING!
Look forward to updating you ladies later today when I have NEW BOOBIES!!!!
29 Apr 2014
Day of treatment
Today was surgery day! My nerves were actually a lot more in-check than I assumed they'd be. Woke up super groggy and tired, and then pain slowlyyy started...
My PS wound up going with 320cc which does make me kinda sad, considering I was hoping for something closer to 360... But my PS told my mom that she tried the 360 and 380 and they looked way too fake. So I guess in that regard, I'm glad she went smaller.
Also, I took a peak down while the nurse was dressing me and they look pretty far apart :( Which bums me out even MORE! I haven't seen them out of the surgical bra just yet, so I'm hoping it's just the illusion of the bra making them appear far apart (fingers crossed).
BUT, on a happier note, my PS told my mom that my nipples look great! For those who don't know or don't remember, I had a Pursestring Mastopexy to correct my herniated nipples. So I'm excited about that :)
Other than that, in a good amount of pain. Eating some clam chowder now and trying to relax lol
The New Tatas Are Here! [PHOTOS]
29 Apr 2014
Day of treatment
It's 9:35 at night. 14 hours post-op!
The surgery went super well! My nerves were definitely present at the hospital, but MUCH better than I had anticipated. No dizziness, light-headedness, sweaty palms, etc. Being wheeled into the OR and seeing what it looked like in there was the creepiest of all. All white, very sterile and surgical-looking... Like something you'd see out of a movie.
My PS ordered me 320, 340, 360 and 380cc implants and wound up going with the 320's. When I first found out, I was immediately disappointed. I was hoping for at LEAST 340cc. When I glanced down at them in my surgical bra, they looked pretty far apart too, which was a huge concern of mine from the get-go and made me really bummed out.
WELL, 14 hours later, I am pretty pleased with the size and my PS called and told me that once the swelling goes down, they should come closer together :) ALSO, she said my nipples look incredible from the Pursestring Mastopexy she performed! Any girl who has tuberous breasts would probably agree with me that the nipple is the worst part. So knowing that that part of me turned out awesome, pretty much seals the deal for me. I'M ECSTATIC!
I would say recovery is going well so far. Not TOO much pain, no nausea, no strange or odd feelings or pain... The one thing I must own up to though - I have had a HELL of a time keeping my arms to my sides :X There's little to no pain when I lift them, so I'm really hoping that it's not harming me or my incisions.
I haven't taken my surgical bra off at all yet, even though I'm dying to see the girls! My PS actually told me I could take a shower tomorrow if I wanted! (Weird? I've never heard of someone's PS telling them they could shower right away) I doubt I will though because I don't want to have to deal with the pain of taking the bra off and on, lol
Thursday is my post-op so I'll probably let her take off the bra then and get my first look :)
So far I am really so happy with my decision you guys. It's terrifying and nerve-wracking, but so worth it!
3 Days Post-Op | The Rollercoaster Ride
So overall, I'd say recovery is going very well. My pain has been pretty minimal compared to what I had imagined. HOWEVER. Late Tuesday afternoon (the day of my surgery) I got this headache, that slowly turned into a migraine, and it's been lingering ever since. Wednesday was the worst but I've slowly been getting better since then... But for those who suffer from chronic migraines and can only take stuff like Excedrins to get rid of them, I'm sure you feel my pain. I've been having to rely on my pain meds and Tylenol, which only really keep the headache away for a few hours :/
I feel much better today though and I'm PRAYING the headache doesn't come back so that I can try to get some work done! I'm a photographer so there are always photos to edit, e-mails to respond to and portfolios to update. But with a headache, that's pretty much impossible since staring at a computer screen only makes the headache that much worse.
Enough complaining though... Yesterday was my first post-op appointment and my PS said things are looking great. She taught me the "massages" I have to do... For anyone who has yet to have their BA, these "massages" sound great. But don't let that lovely word fool you! These "massages" consist of me, pushing my implants in all different directions. It sounds more painful than it is, but it's definitely not something I look forward to! And feeling them move under your skin is the weirdest thing ever! Not to mention those air bubbles that you feel pop every now and then... aldsgah SO WEIRD!
Sleeping hasn't been the most fun thing either. Every few hours I wake up and as soon as I do, I take another pain pill to help relax me back into my slumber. Honestly, I've been taking the pain pills more to curb my headache than to ease the boobie pain. I'm not one for taking lots of medication when I don't have to, but my PS says taking the recommended dose of my meds won't hurt me, so I've been following the '1 every 3 hours' rule most the time. I'll try to stretch it to 4 or 5 hours between each pill, just so that I can learn to function without them and hopefully get this headache to go away on it's own without having to use my meds.
I have had some sharp, stinging pain in the upper pole of my righty. I'm not too worried about it though. I assume it's either the tight skin, the stretching nerves, or just a really sore spot that I keep aggravating. Either way, I try to ice it often so I don't piss it off too much! lol
I did also get to see my girls for the first time yesterday!! Personally, I think they look great only being a few days post-op. But you know how every parent thinks their kids are the most beautiful things to walk the earth? Maybe that's just how I am with my new boobies, LOL I'll be posting photos later today so you guys will have to be the judge ;)
I am SO pleased with how my nipples are looking so far too! There are steri-strips still covering the outsides of them where my PS made the incisions, but from what I can see so far, they're nice and normal, just like I've always wanted them to be :)
So far I have really high hopes for my end result. My righty is sitting a little more to the outside of my chest rather than the middle... So I'm really making sure to "massage" it towards the center. But other than that, things are lookin' good and I am one happy camper! :)
STAY TUNED FOR PHOTOS LATER TODAY! :D
3 Days Post-Op | [PHOTOS]
Definitely a lot of swelling going on, but I think things are looking good so far!
For those with a weak stomach, I apologize for the close ups of the incisions!
1 Week Post-Op
Yesterday was the 1 week mark and I must say, I love my new babies more and more each day.
I already see a HUGE spike in my confidence and I know it's only going to get better once these girlies heal. The size has also been growing on me more and more as well. In the back of my mind, I can't help but feel like a little bigger would have been better... But then I look in the mirror and feel like they fit my frame so well.
[ P A I N ] As far as pain and soreness go, they have their days. Some days they're pretty sore, other days they feel fine. I'm still doing my massages which CAN still be somewhat uncomfortable, but I can already see it helping to make them softer and squishier. The surgical bra I was given is probably the worst of it all. It sits right on my incisions (inframammary) and makes them so itchy!...Along with all the other areas of my skin that the elastic digs into! >:( Going for my 2nd post-op appointment in 2 days and hoping I get a slightly bigger bra.
[ H E A L I N G ] I would say the healing process is going well. My steri-strips still have not come off my incisions and I am A-ok with that! I feel like the longer they're covered up, the safer they will be! lol Still very swollen in the middle of my chest (the "cleavage" area) and also pretty swollen up top. Still yet to form that nice tear-drop shape that I want so badly. But I'm thinking this will come with time. They also haven't settled any lower just yet either... Maybe I'm just being impatient though? haha
[ S L E E P ] Sleep? What sleep? I had to mention this separately because it's driving me THAT insane. I've had to sleep on an incline for the past week, which has been hell. But even now that I'm allowed to sleep flat on my back (or at least I THINK I'm allowed), I'm still barely getting any z's! :( Not quite sure why... Sometimes the itchy bra wakes me up, sometimes the discomfort of being on my back wakes me up... But these past few days, it's been nothing in particular? And the lack of sleep is causing me migraines... Which I already suffer with due to heredity, so I don't need any more due to lack of sleep. GRR!
[ W O R K ] Yesterday I went back to work for the first time... While it was bearable, it wasn't fun. I work a desk job so you'd think it wouldn't be all that bad to get back to after a week... But I managed to get a headache after only an hour on my computer. Could never find time to sneak away and do my massages. And faced some reaching/stretching issues that weren't fun to tackle lol Lucky for me, my job is very lenient and pretty much told me to take the time I need. So I will be off for a least the next 3 days... Definitely resting as much as possible so that I can get back in there ASAP with little to no discomfort.
Despite all the minor annoyances, I am in love with my new boobies. This has been the best decision of my life and I am so thankful that I was able to do this :) - Future updates and photos to come!
10 Days Post-Op | [PHOTOS]
My last update was a novel. So I'll try to keep this one short and sweet!
Saw my PS yesterday for my 1 week post-op appointment. I can now:
- sleep normally, in any position! (HOORAY!)
- sleep without a bra if I want (I did last night. It was magical)
- start massaging my scars
- start using my arms more (as if I wasn't doing that already! Naughty, I know)
- stop wearing my surgical bra & switch over to bras that don't cut off my circulation! (still no underwires though)
- start taking my normal migraine medicine once again (I've missed you Excedrins. You're the only thing that works)
- submerse the boobies under water if I want (pool, ocean, etc.)
So lots of new and exciting things happening! The girls are looking and feeling good and I'm still on Cloud 9! :)
2 Weeks Post-Op | I'm In Love!
Okay, so let me just get this out there right away... I think I have an obsession with my new melons. LOL I stare at them constantly, shove them in my boyfriend's face, and generally just love them a whole lot. I'm amazed at how much this procedure has affected my self confidence and loving every second of it!!
Now on to the important stuff:
[ P A I N ] Pretty much no more pain to speak of! All pain pretty much subsided by Day 10. Still some slight soreness when I roll over onto my side in the middle of the night, but nothing I can't handle :)
[ H E A L I N G ] I'd say healing is going really well. Massaging my scars isn't fun. I must admit that in certain spots, it does hurt a little. But again, it's super manageable. Still doing my regular boobie massages... Aggressively, as my PS has instructed, lol
[ S L E E P ] I CAN ACTUALLY SLEEP NOW! I do wake up every few hours, and as soon as I do, I turn over onto my side. It's the instant cure to put me back to sleep lol
[ W O R K ] I am officially back to work now and have been since the 12 day mark. I'm really glad I put it off until then. I came back at 7 days post-op and just felt horrible. Super tired, sore, cranky... And not able to do simple things like reach for a folder on the top shelf or move a few reams of paper. I'm definitely feeling back to normal now and function just fine at work :)
All is well in the world of me and my tatas! It's hard to believe it's already been 2 weeks. So much stress, anxiousness and anticipation for something that passed by so quickly!
2 Weeks Post-Op | [PHOTOS]
So here are the girls at 2 weeks! (Don't mind the bra strap marks... Just got home from work!)
I'm excited about how great my inframammary incisions look after only 2 weeks! They're super smooth and thin! :) Still working on getting my areolar incisions to look as good ;)
I'll be going out of town this weekend to visit family and even though I won't be showing off the girls in front of family, I'm still excited to show off my new-found confidence! I seriously feel like a whole new woman!! Can't wait to see how these babies transform as they continue to heal :)