>.< SO tomorrow's the big day. I'm terrified....
>.< SO tomorrow's the big day. I'm terrified. Mostly because I'm afraid I won't wake up. Gah! I'm an anxiety ridden mess and can't sleep, I'm so nervous. Does anyone else feel selfish or like a bad parent for PS? My greatest fear is having an issue with the anesthesia and leaving my kids motherless. I'm in tears thinking about it, but at the same time, I'm so unhappy looking so tired and haggard all the time when I feel so young and vibrant on the inside. I truly hope I'm making the right decision.
I will post pre-op and post op pics each day, starting in the morning prior to surgery. Fingers crossed!
Day.after and I'm not dead!
3 Dec 2013
Day of treatment
Which is awesome! That was my biggest fear. I truly believe ican handle just about anything else. So now for the nitty and the gritty. Pain is minimal. Discomfort and annoyance is maximal :0p Like, I feel as if the sandman came the visit and overrated his welcome and then added some rock salt to his mix. Not because I slept well (I did not) but because my eyes feel like they're filled with little sharp things that are a constant irritant. Swelling is in full effect despite hella amounts of cold compresses thru the night so it very difficult to see. Most of the time I've just kept my eyes closed. Bruising is minimal at this point and I'm hoping that's a good sign. We ahall see. At this point I'm in a good frame of mind in spite of my concern that my eyes have a very distinct uptilt now that I'm hoping is just a result of the swelling. I've always had almond shaped eyes with a slight uptilt when I was younger (I'm forty now so they've fallen some) but this looks drastic and definitely not something I wanted. That said, I'm withholding judgment because a: it's day 1 post surgery and my eyes are nearly swollen shut and b: I love and trust my doctor.
Has anyone else had this happen with an upper/lower blepharaplasty? Where they felt early on that the outside corners of their eyes looked very high and almost alien? See pics before and day after.
Oh and also, headache?
3 Dec 2013
Day of treatment
Forgot to add that I've had a pretty constant headache, probably from the anesthesia and narcotics etc but I wish it would go away.
Going well end of day three
Saw the doctor today for my follow up. He was very happy with my progress. Still verrrry swollen but no bruising under my eyes that I've seen in other pics so I will take the good with the bad, I guess! No pain, just irritating really. Vision is blurry a lot of the time but I feel like that's a result of just how swollen my lids are. Day three pics attached and will keep u all posted as the swelling goes down (dear god soon I hope>.
Still sooo swollen :0( It's uncomfortable and I can't wait until this part is over. The skin around my eyes feels super tight, dry and itchy. I just wanna rub them! Nothing else interesting to report. If the swelling doesn't subside soon I'm going to have to say it's very unlikely that I'll be leaving the house anytime soon. That said, bruising is still almost nonexistent aside from the dark red color of my eyelids and a light shadow beneath my eyes, which is good. Trying not to get anxious that I look like an alien still and trying to be patient :0)
Day five, still swollen
Now I'm getting nervous because My upper loss are still so swollen my eyes won't even close all the way and they are so tilted, I feel like I don't look like me anymore. Hoping this is all related to swelling and that I didn't make a huge, irreparable mistake.
Showing swelling and how my eyes look so uptilted and uneven. Fingers crossed this is all due to excessive swelling and all will be well soon...
Eyes feel very dry and irritated, still super swollen and lower lid is still pulled away from the eyeball a bit on both sides. Trying not to freak because I truly do think it seems like a reasonable thing considering just how swollen my eyes still are. Concerned about the lack of symmetry but more the tightness (again, possibly due to te swelling). Appointment Monday to remove stitches on my uppers and hoping the doc will reassure me. Really hoping the swelling resolves soon. I work from home but I need to be able to sit behind a computer at least 8 hours a day and right now I can't see well enough for even an hour.
And the first day I feel even a little like things might be okay. Up until now I've truly wondered if I hadn't disfigured myself. I'm still not sure this wasnt a mistake, but I'm less terrified than I have been that I will never look or feel normal again. I should say that while this isn't my first surgery (I had a tummy tuck and breast reduction eight years ago) this is the first time I've touched my face and I can't even express how different it is. Wayyy less pain but the mental anguish is nothing to trifle with. I'll take the pain any day. I say this not to scare potential bleph patients, I know many people have an easier time of it, but I caution you not to take this lightly. It's been 7 days of abject fear, anxiety and second-guessing. Sometimes I stare in the mirror like "what is wrong with you that you let someone carve up your eyes with a knife for vanity?" And I have a little freak out session in my head. Facial surgey is NOT for the faint of heart.
As for physical recovery, I'm a little better but it's slow going. Still very swollen and both lower lids are retracting. I see the doctor tomorrow to get stitches removed and I hope that he will assure me that its going to right itself once the swelling goes down more. On the aesthetic front, I look less like a freak show so that's nice. Still a lot of asymmetry due to uneven swelling but I can see the forest for the trees so I'm at peace with that part of it at the moment, although as emotional as I am, that could change on a dime. Will updat after doctor tomorrow late evening
Saw the doctor and got mah stitches out!
Feeling very relieved. Still super swollen but the doctor is t worried about the retraction of my lower lids. He feels its definitely due to the swelling as I have a lot of skin still under my eyes, and there is easy movement there and no scars anchoring it down. He feels in another week or so the lids will e back to normal so fingers crossed. New pic.
Day ten I think?
And feeling more normal everyday and feeling less regret and more hope. I DO look way younger and way less tired. I still don't like the one eye so swollen and tilted but its gettin better! New pic of before and then today for comparison.
Day 14 with makeup
Still asymmetrical, still swelling on the right but much better. Feeling cautiously optimistic that things are going to look really god in another week or two so long as the right eye opens up some. *fingers crossed*
One month later...
New pics. Less swelling, more symmetry. Still some ectropian so I Have dry eye issues but it does seen to be getting better. My right eye seems to be worse than the left and the scar is very raised at this point on the upper outer edge o my lid. Other than that, things are going well. If the ectropian and dry eye went away I'd be ecstatic!