New to the Community...- Walnut Creek, CA

Hello my Bariatric Beauties and Gents,
Well I had a weigh-in at the dr. office yesterday...and I am please to report I lost weight since my last monthly visit...So I am happy for myself but my doctor made me feel like it was such this minor/minute accomplishment. So after waiting over an hour for my appointment (now this is the first time this has happened. I usually have early appointments) so I was a bit irritated and anxious to get weighed bc I've totally been avoiding the scale (a whole 'nother story). So I made sure to bring lighter clothing to make sure I could get as accurate of a recording as possible...So, after the nurse records my weight my doctor comes in and was like "Hello, and I saw you lost a bit of weight." I'm like taken back because I can't recall what I weighed the last time I was there bc I was groggy from the endoscopy from earlier that day...So I'm sitting here thinking I must've only lost 1-2lbs. He then starts discussing where my BMI needs to be to be able to get the surgery approved and for it to be safe as possible. So, I'm dang near ready to cry bc I feeling like crap esp. since I have been putting in major life changing efforts. So then I have to ask him about my results from the endoscopy and Psych report...and he is like "Oh, you done that let me go check"...Totally irritated now...so at the closing of my appt he mentions I should go and see the dietician again and don't give up...and that was about it...so as I'm scheduling my next appt...I see his nurse again and I ask her can you give me a record of all my weigh ins since I started coming here...she writes then down and that when I learn I losted 7lbs in a month...I'm like what the hell...this is PROGRESS...and realized that I have to be my own cheerleader and if I would've seen my dr. I would've given him the side-eye...So, yes its easier to take my frustration out on Dr. Chin lack of bed-side manner...This situation took me back to why am I doing this...who am I doing this for...This is all for ME! So I need to be my coach and my reward-er bc there will be times I have realized that I may not get favorable reactions to my decisions...but so what...what matters is how I feel about myself...

Since my last post I had my endoscopy...interesting procedure...but the best sleep I've gotten in a long time...overall the results were good...was a little sluggish for the rest of the day...Had my 2 out 6 appointment that same day...Major takeaways...I hate the scale at my doctor office...its always higher than my recorded weight when I check-in at my WWatchers meeting and I need to wear light clothing when I go next week. I think a tank and leggings will be my outfit of choice...Next, I need to lower my BMI from 55 to 50 and that about 38lbs for me...It caused some major anxiety because I don't want to be the reason why my procedure is delayed. So I have to completely transparent and say I went thru a weird period where I started putting in efforts but I was so focused on what if...that I was still emotionally and mindless eating but...I had a pep talk with myself and researched and found a gym with a evening aqua class that right where I park my car at BART so all I have to do is go in the next parking lot and I'm at the gym. So I've been consistently going 3-4 times a week and have a trainer...and I am proud of myself...have I cheated some days...YES...but I make sure I make a better choice at my next meal and I make sure I got hard at the gym.

Hmmm...what else...met with the dietician...very informative The stage II diet isn't as bad as I thought...but it goes back to how committed I am...and I am...You may all have been asked this why are you doing this or folks who know or have found out about your procedure may not agree with your choice...But whenever I faced with this My response is I choose ME...I choose life...and I found this great mantra that's in my weight loss/exercise journal...Life is too short to be fat...So in closing I'm glad and content and ecstatic about my Pro-Me decision...

Take Care!

Just Checking In....Since my last post...I had my psych evaluation today with Linda-great conversation and it was reflective....I really felt affirmed once again for making this life-changing event-I felt a major high from telling Linda that I'm committed to taking care of Tally...Next,I met with the GI doctor this past Friday and my endoscopy is scheduled for 11th of July...Man this is really feeling REAL....YaY!

P.S. Decided on my celebration when I stable from my surgery...Going to the amusement park and riding EVERY single ROLLER COASTER