Almost 52 Yr Old, 26 Yr Old Ruptured Silicone Implants Scheduled for Capsulectomy and Lift - Walnut Creek, CA

As far back as my early teens, I remember feeling...

As far back as my early teens, I remember feeling that my breasts were not in proportion to my body. I was a full A, maybe I small B if I pushed it, but I think I only wore A bras. In high school I wore padded bras. I don't remember feeling uncomfortable in swim suits, etc, just started thinking it would be nice if I had more up top to feel proportionate.
When I was 26, with two young children, my husband agreed to let me get one. My sisters had both just gotten them. I had 300 or 325 textured silicone implants by dow corning. They were over the muscle. The Dr went through my armpit, and I have always been sorry for that as it is the most obvious possible place.The surgery went fine...I just remember it hurt to even barely walk and I woke up nauseous as anything. Couple of days like that and started to feel better. I would say my healing was pretty normal and I was happy with them. I was a 34D and I finially felt in proportion and didn't give them a lot more thought. I just finially felt like everything jived. I got a little nervous with all the dow corning and silicone implant scare which was just after I got them...what made it worse is when I called back to the Drs office for info, I was told her was no longer practicing. Ugh. But I had no problems and for many many years, Drs and nurses that did breast exams would comment on how natural they looked and felt.
However, several years later my left implant began to harden followed by the right but to a much lesser degree. I honestly had no idea prior to this point that these were not lifetime devices as the Dr who did my surgery never mentioned any of that to me. So I was a bit surprised to find out I would likely be facing a future surgery. Although I thought it would surely be nice to have them soft again, I really didn't want to have another surgery and even if I had wanted to, financially it wasn't really feasible. I had 6 kids by this point (4 of whom I nursed with the implants) and there were too many things that came way before that. They never hurt or bothered me, except that when I touched them, they were very firm
After being sick for four months starting in Aug of 2014, involving a dozen trips to ER, 3 overnight hospital stays, and an insane amount of testing including heart cath...with no answers of course...other than it seems I have asthma triggered by our move to the lake we live on...I promised my oldest daughter I would get an MRI as she was convinced my illness was due to the implants.
My illness had improved greatly and was tapering off by the time I had it done ( most likely it is bad asthma...although have read this too can be caused by the silicone) and I truly expected normal result. However, Ihadn't even gotten back home from the appointment when the Dr called to tell me the left was ruptured, but thank God, still contained in the capsule. Ugh
I dreaded having to go through a capsulectomy, but began to research and make appointments with Drs. My main concern was finding a Dr who was very experienced in this surgery. I still didn't know whether or not I would replace them, as having been sick for 4 months, my health was of primary importance, and yet after having them for half of my life, I wasn't sure if I would be ok and adjust to being small again. I chose my Dr based upon the confidence I felt when we talked, his reviews, and his general demeanor. We agreed that I would need a lift, as I never had been fond of the shape of my breasts in any case and felt if I had to have surgery anyway I wanted to get something good out of it. I had really wanted to consider fat grafting as an option and there was one Dr I wanted to consult with that does it in my area; however I wasn't able to get in for awhile, and I really wanted this junk out of my body asap. However I realized that I wouldn't want that much surgery all at once anyway so could always go for fat grafting later if I needed more. The Dr I chose, as well as the others I consulted with were not keen on fat grafting due to the impact on mammagrams etc. I still want to do more research on it and will go ahead to my consult with that Dr in order to determine if this is something I may do in the future. It has taken me weeks to decide whther to replace the implants or not. THe Dr gave me lots of confidence about replacing due to the way the new ones are made as well as explaining why he would want to use seri. But still I vacillated back and forth, sometimes several times per day. And yet just a couple of days ago have decided that deep in my heart I know I really don't want them. I don't want to have to put a foreign object in my body to feel good about myself. I want to be happy with the way God created me. I told my husband that I knew if I were single I wouldn't get them. I think I was just really concerned about how he would see me. (We weren't married until after I had implants and he had never seen me small). I knew he would still love me, but hey, he is a guy. he just said he knows me and he was really worried I wouldn't be happy and that I would then want to go get another surgery to put me out of my misery. ANd although I knew just what he was talking about and worried abot it myself, still there was this part of me, that just wanted to me ME again. I asked him if there was no consideration given to what I would feel, expense, or anything else wouldhe choose me to get them or not and he said he would probably have me get them. Not so surprising, but it really made it that much harder. Maybe I wanted him to say he would rather I wouldn't, just in concern for my health or something. SO, I kept going back and forth. Afraid to get them as I didn't want to ever have another surgery again or have health issues caused by them. Afraid to not get them for fear I would really have self image issues or that he wouldn't be as attracted to me. Ugh. The hardest decision to ever make. But after reading through many many review on here, and reading everything I could pull up, I finally said to myself. I am beautiful. I am ENOUGH. And if anyone is less attracted to me, then that's just too bad. Because its ME. Its who I am. THese are my boobs.
Ever since I made my decision, I have continued to find peace about it. I have even began to look at pics of small breasted women, looking forward to wearing the more revealing styles without concern, looking at sexy little bralettes, etc. Today I am actually feeling that maybe just perhaps I might just feel even sexier, knowing its me, that they are soft again, etc.
My pre-op appointment is this next Tuesday. Ihave been super super nervous about the surgery as I was told it will be 4-5 hours and the thought of being under that long really scares me to death. But I have to trust the Lord to take care of me, because this isn't elective, they have to come out.
I have tried to not give it much thought in order to not worry, so I am focusing on other things...like the two children we are adopting soon...and our visit this weekend with our oldest sons family, etc.
I will just be glad when it is all over and done with and I can heal and get on with living.
Knowing that I will feel better smaller with smaller boobies, Im hoping this will spur me on to ramp up the workouts so I can look like I did when I was teaching kickboxing.

Im sorry about the pics being upside down. Don't know why but my ipone pics are coming up on my computer that way and it wont let me turn them. Ugh

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to share your stories and your pictures. This has been invaluable to me as I fought with trying to make this decision, and just knowing I have the support of you, makes a world of difference in my confidance level.
Ill touch base after Tuesdays pre-op visit.

Had pre-op visit today!

Well, I spent two hours today at Dr Aycocks office for my pre-op. Questions, paperwork, etc. Surgery was moved up one day to the 29th. I must say that after talking with the Dr I once again felt very confused...he said I will fell very flat as I don't have a lot of breast tissue. Also, that if I don't come back and ask him to put them back in, I will be the first patient he has done who has kept them out. Ugh. He also said the chance that these new implants would need to be removed was so small; especially being wrapped in the seri. While its not that I feel pressured into having them replaced, its that my confidence that I would be ok with them plummeted. I asked him if I could still call and change my mind if I decide to replace them, and he said I could. I don't want to get them again. I want to know that I am healthy and content with what God gave me. I woundnt question it so much I suppose if Id had more to start with but going from a D to an A will Im sure be difficult. I know that I can always go back and add the later, but financially, it would be almost double to do later. I just hate that the decision that took me weeks to make was so easily brought to question in my mind. Can anyone tell me where to get the silicone tapes that help with the scars? They forgot to give me the website to order from today. Any other advice regarding postop and healing?

10 Days and Counting!

I am down to the 10 day mark, and let me tell you it can't come soon enough! I just want these things out. My breasts ache and burn down into the front of my ribcage. The weird numb tingly feeling Ive had the past five months in my back, which Im sure is a result of the silicone is driving me crazy. I have coughed up silicone a couple of times....it was so obvious it was something other than mucus...so thick and very sticky...looked just like the silicone in the youtube surgery videos. I have read where this has happened to others as well. Knowing there is silicone in my lungs is not a good feeling at all. no wonder I have had difficulty breathing and acquired adult onset asthma a few months ago. When they tested me for allergies, I was allergic to molds. Hoping that my breasts aren't hosting mold. Ugh. Woke up with a start last night, gasping for a breath...it was clear I had stopped breathing. It was so unbelievably frightening. Nothing at all could make me put this stuff back inside my body again. I went 26 years without regret. But now? Get them out!

One week...EEEEK!

Knowing one week from this moment I will be prepping for surgery brings up a couple of feelings...first of all NERVES....wow...this is really gonna happen. Secondly, relief...just so thankful I made the choice that I feel is healthiest for my body. I can't wait to have them out and gone. Not looking forward to going under for so long (that's the part that has always scared me) or the healing process (hope its quick and fairly easy). Hoping the lift at least gives me tiny boobies that I can love.

2 Days!!!!!!!!

Im down to just 2 days till surgery...I so just want to be done and on the other side. Hoping and praying recovery will be quick and go well. Really wondering how I will feel on day 2, day 3, day 4, etc. When will I fell like driving? WHen will my energy come back? Trying not to think at all about what they are going to be doing to me as its kinda freaky, or how long I will be under as that also freaks me out. Just trying to pray that the Lord will be with me and keep me and use this surgery to heal all the symptoms I have had the last several months so that I can be whole again. I realize it will be an adjustment going back to itty bitty titties after spending half of my life with large ones, but I am really praying that I will feel so good and the lift will turn out well enough that I will be happy. I truly want to be natural again. Im one of those people who hates sitting around, don't like watching tv, etc...so healing period may be a bit of drudgery for me. Pray for me!

Tomorrow is the Day!

Tick tock, tick tock....it all feels like Im now just watching the clock tick down to tomorrow. This is the last day with my "girls". Tomorrow is surgery and Im so ready to be through it. Bittersweet saying goodbye to larger breasts, as I never had any regrets until I got sick and found they were ruptured. However, there isn't a single doubt that I want them out. Funny how what matters most changes as you get older. I am actually looking forward to have small breasts and have been buying some pretty little bralettes to keep my spirits up. I have no doubts it will be an adjustment but the thought of having soft breasts again is so appealing. ANd just knowing I am doing everything possible for the health of my body feels so right. Ive been doing everything in "prep mode" like when you are about to have a baby. Getting easy dinners ready that hubs can cook, cleaning, washing, planning....Have to get up super early tomorrow as the surgery center is over an hour away but will be during morning commute. Last night my 10 year old said "Mom, maybe you will see heaven during your surgery and come back and tell us about it" NOOOOOOOO!!!! LOL. I said you have to die for that! Im so blessed to have 6 beautiful loving children who pray for me and support me. And the bonus is that when this is over, the following week, I am being blessed with two more that we are adopting! God is good. Please keep me in your prayers....that's the greatest gift you can give anyone. Ill be in touch after!

The girls are gone!!!!!

Its over. Yesterday I had my capsulectomy and mastopexy. I would have written after but my phone wasn't letting me sign in and it just wasn't worth doing the whole computer thing. Was a little nervous in the morning, but was quickly ok when I was taken to the back and got busy. The staff was really really wonderful and I felt in such good hands. After talking with Dr Jacobson, my anthestesiolgist, I felt tons better about that too. And then I was out! Felt like I woke up from a good nights sleep and was so thankful it was done. THey had me up and out of there in an hour! Doc said he wanted me up and moving around some when I got home too. I layed on the couch and napped a little. Got up to walk around at 6 pm and made me super nauseous but was able to get rid of it pretty quick by laying back down and fanning myself. Went to bed and was super comfy with all my pillows...I think the neck pillow was the biggest help...didn't wake until 430 and decided to take a pain pill though it wasn't horrible...just wanted to be able to get back to sleep for awhile. Got up at 7:30 and feel really good. Will take it easy and lounge around today. Have my post op at 11:30 and its an hour away so that will eat up a chunk of the day.. I will tell you I am soooooooo happy I got them out and am really looking forward to having soft little boobies again! WIll keep posted as I go through recoup. God bless you all! Oh, will post pics later!

Had first post-op

Had first postop today with nurse Melody. She is so sweet ad supportive. Said things looked just great. Didn't see in a mirror but looked down and think Im gonna be super happy when the girls are well. Little more sore this afternoon. The Tylenol seems to be enough to take off the edge and I didn't like the way the pain meds made me feel. Just taking it easy today. Napping, time on the computer etc. Had hubs leave the room when nurse took off the wraps as I want them to look a bit better before he sees them. He gets a little squeamish anyway. lol. I don't sit well, and while I don't have tons of energy I feel like Im gonna be bored pretty fast. I know each day will be better. I can say I am sooooooooo glad I did this! Here are a couple pics...one is of one of my implants in a bucket. For some reason it looks super small in this photo...not sure why. I just thought they looked way bigger than my boobs ever did! It was a textured shell and as you can see most of the texture has worn away. The Dr said the one had a tear but both had bleeding of silicone into the capsule. He removed them all enbloc and said he didn't even open them until he was all done with me. The capsules were hard and crackly. yuk. The next pic is just me in my wraps...not much to see. Pretty swollen. no drains

First look in the mirror

48 hours since i got home woke a few times last night. Not in pain but kept waking. Having little stabby pains here And there. Sticking mostly to tylenol. Feeling a little out of sorts and face feels hot like a fever but thermometwr says no. Dont feel good enpugh to do anything but bored laying around. Cat nap, go on the computer, walk around etc. just makes for long days. Trying to rest. Unwrapped and looked in mirror. Pretty gruesome. Its only been 2 days tho. Try not to give it much thought. Praying they will heal well. When did ypu all notice yours started looking better?

Comin along

Each day that I wake my comfortable range of movement for my arms is better. Feeling much more normal in that regards today. Took off the sports bra, all the gauze dressings, and put on fresh ones. Started having some itching last night and can tell the feeling is coming back in to the girls. When I look in the mirror all I can think is "Hmmm..." Hard to picture what they will look like fully healed. Quite a change for my tops to hang straight down...but Im loving it. Not that I feel sexy, but that I fell healthy. And that's sexy. Looking forward to when I can shower and clean them up...the dried blood doesn't add a lot of appeal. Not sure how long the steri strips will stay...week and ahalf? I also have a lot of swelling under my arm pits which is gradually going down. one interesting thing is how much Ive been peeing...there just seems to be no end to it! Is that from anesthesia? Im taking my antibiotic, Tylenol when needed, B, C, A, magnesium, probiotic, and D. holding off on my multi due to the E in it and bleeding. Going to start a good detox next month and will add an antifungal...just want to make sure all this garbage is cleaned out of my system.
I know some of you are headed in to surgery this week...look forward with joy...you will be so glad to have them gone. ; )

4 days post and SOOOOO HAPPY

Ok, girls its Monday and the explant was Thursday. Feeling pretty good. No pain...just twinges along the incision lines every now and then. Not taking much of anything. Tylenol when I went to bed last night and again an hour ago just to keep the twinges at bay. I usually walk about 4 miles in the mornings so today I ventured out for a short 1 1/2 mile walk. slowly. No problems and the fresh air felt good. Just thanking God I am on the other side and for His healing.
I also went and tried on a few little tank tops.....wow do I look flat! Haha! But I LOOOOOOOVE IT! I feel sixteen again! And I feel like my body looks so much smaller overall now! Giddy with happiness!
Just wearing my Walmart sports bras that have hook and eyes in front round the clock since Saturday. They are comfy and were so inexpensive...and I recommend them.
I find myself waking up in the middle of the night having slid down off my mound of pillows and laying rather flat....so up I scoot and go back to sleep. I will tell you the BEST thing for sleeping was my little neck pillow...the kind for sleeping on cars and airplanes...it makes all the difference in the world. Make sure you get one if you are pre-op! Great for car on ride home too!
I see the Dr tomorrow and look forward to hearing what he says. Hoping he will let me take a shower cause so far its just been sponge baths...sitting in a few inches of water.
Kisses!

Post Op with doc today

Saw the doc this morning....the nurse took off the steri strips and doc said things lookin great. He was thrilled that im so happy. He said i will be the FIRST of his patients whos ever removed their implants and not wanted them back in! Can you believe that?!Healing is coming along nicely...faster than I thought, for which Im thankful. Drove yesterday and today, no problems. Arms are moving around fine. Still quite a bit of swelling on sides under arms. Energy levels normal. Im so happy with them and honestly feel a whole new kinda sexy! Was gonna update my photos but when I was upstairs and undressed, the phone was downstairs so ill take some tomorrow so you can see progression.

4.5 WEEKS POST

Its been quite awhile since Ive posted.....life has gone on and I never seem to have a camera around when Im naked! ha! For any of you riding the fence about whether or not to replace your implants, let me encourage you....I am SOOOOOOO happy that I had them removed and LOVE the feeling of my smaller softer breasts and being all me again. Symptoms that were bothering me have all gone away. The lift gave me the younger perky look that I can't remember ever having. I thought I was an A but at VS they measured me as a B. And seriously I do not even care....I love them! Healing has gone very well and they are coming along nicely. My nipple on my right breast is a little higher, which is what I requested, so I am hoping the other will raise a bit when all the stitches below release. but if not, that's ok, because nobody is perfect. The Dr is going to do a little lasering on the scars for me next week to help fade them out. I will also start using scar tape afterwards. by the current appearance at just under a month I know they will fade out and be great. My Dr is amazing. I am his FIRST EVER patient to not want them back in after removal, and Im proud of that. I am so happy to be the way God made me and free of those hard mounds on my body! I feel younger and my husband is very pleased and also says I look younger. So I say GO FOR IT! BE FREE!
Bay Area Plastic Surgeon

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