DONE...can't wait to feel 100% and see the end result

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I just want to say, i'm so happy i've found...

i just want to say, i'm so happy i've found thank you for sharing all your stories and experiences, it's helped in my research (and my nerves) so far immensely!

anyways, i feel like i can finally start an account here because i'm 1 step closer to actually getting my BA done...finally! i've been wanting one since i can remember. i remember in high school having dreams about getting implants and just knowing from early on that i wasn't developing. it was so embarassing. all through my life i've just felt less womanly and in turn, i think i've always been treated as younger than my age because i look like a 15 year old girl (even boy) - even tho i'm a mother of 2 (5 yrs & 2 yrs). i feel so fortunate that my husband is so supportive, knowing my motives and how it's made me feel emotionally, physcially. of course i'm sure he'll reap alot of the benefit of this BA, but still, i don't take it for granted. i know far too many people that don't have the same support, so i'm just grateful. the only person that is not as supportive is my mom....yet she had a BA like 30 years ago! (long story, another kind of blog). but i'm 38, i'm not "asking for permission". i've let her know through the years how i feel and i listen to her objections, but it does not discourage me. i'm determined. :) i haven't set my final surgery date yet since i want to get my mammogram cleared before i pony up the $500 non-refundable scheduling fee, but i'm HOPING for a Sept6 surgery date! OMG i cannot even believe i'm saying this right now!!! i hope i'm not jinxing myself....

i met with 3 different PS. here is how they went:

#1 PS consultation
the first PS i went to, of course i was nervous, didn't know what to expect, but my husband was able to join me. he was really nice, but went off on tangents alot, which i don't mind, makes him more personable. but he was asian, yet he made some weird asian remarks that seemed like he was trying too hard. he also only had a little wicker basket of sample implants - of random sizes, no pairs. he made no suggestions and although he did measurements, even when i asked his opinion, he just kept deferring to whatever i wanted. he finally told me to wear rice sizers.

#2 PS consultation
the second PS i met with was EXTREMELY thorough. she came in and was very direct, straight forward and did not JUST glamourize BA. she gave me the facts and walked me through everything and had some extremely great advice/tips/information. she then gave me a brand new bra to wear for trying on every different size and profile implants possible. she told me what the largest size i could pull off based on my measurements and what profile i should go with to prevent the "tori spelling". she also gave me some great advice about putting my 2 yr old in a toddler bed prior to my surgery and making sure they get in/out of the car seats alone at that point too. she dispelled alot of the things that the other PS said that i was concerned about. she also requires an "all clear" mammogram result and cosmetassure insurance, which i think is a great idea. she just seems to really care for my general overall well-being and not just about forcing me to make a quick decision and make money.

#3 PS consultation
the third PS i met was really nice. extremely personable and had great bedside manner. however, when i asked about some samples i could try on, he gave me the run around and just told me to bring in pictures of breasts on the day of surgery and i ended up NOT trying any implants or seeing any. i have NO idea where i would find these or know what i want, since everyone's body is different and i'm not familiar with the cc measurements. when i spoke with the coordinator to get my quote, she breezed through it and dismissed any pre-op lab work because "you look young and healthy, it'll be fine." asked if i could get a detailed quote with the line items broken out she said "no, we just don't do it that way." then told me that i could get a discount if i paid in cold hard cash. they also gave me 1 quote if i schedule within 30 days and another quote $500 more if i schedule after 30 days of my consultation date. it's kind of weird because i can understand if they said that the quoted $ is valid for 30 days. after 30 days you have to get another consultation. but to just straight up tell you if you book later, you pay more is just BS to me. i felt a bit iffy about that one walking out of there.

of course, i went with #2 and i'm SO excited. i reviewed the final quote today and made my appointment for a mammogram. however, i don't know if anyone else has had this experience, but my primary care physcian would not order me a mammogram. i actually thought that since i'm "almost" 40, that they would encourage me to just get a mammogram, no questions asked. but when i asked if i had to go through them to order me a mammogram, she refused to order one for me. i finally had to spell it out to her that i'm thinking about getting BA and need it to make sure that everything is OK prior to scheduling my surgery. she responded with, "make an appt for a routine physical." WTF. right now, i just need a mammogram, so i'm too impatient to find a new primary care physician, but i think i'm going to after this. bedside manner could be improved. hmmph.
my appt is scheduled for next tues (7/17)!!! *squeal*

height: 5'2"
weight: 120lbs
before bra size: 34A
implants: natrelle silicone
size: 304cc
profile: moderate profile
where: under muscle
incision: inframmary fold

i definitely want to try on the size smaller than 304cc though since i really want to go really natural. i think i'm even ok with it being smaller, since something is better than what i have now - nothing. what is the size below 304cc? i'm still not sure about the sizing and cc's since they sound so random. LOL.

what i'm most freaked out about is not the pain of the recovery, but how i'm going to care for my kids. i'm a stay-at-home mom with a husband who works at a start-up (long & late hours with little flexiblity). i think we're already going to be pushing it having him work from home the day he drives me to and from my surgery. *sigh* so...that's what i'm afraid of. we have no family that can really help out close by. my mom is close by, but there are so many issues about that, i don't even think we can go there in this forum. so...this is where my head's at. i don't want to sacrafice my kids' well-beings for my boobies...internal battle ensues....

thanks again for sharing ... i'm excited to be here!

Still waiting on getting my mammogram. i went in...

still waiting on getting my mammogram. i went in for a physical a week and a half ago and my dr. ordered a mammogram...who knew i had to make another appointment for that! i just thought i would get it done the same day. *sigh* so monday is the day of my mammogram, then a few days to get my results and then i can make an appointment for my BA! i'm really worried because the IDEAL day for me to get it is now all booked up.
i'm still weary about getting natrelle 304cc silicone unders since i really don't want them too big. i'm less than an A cup basically and i just don't want to go TOO big...TOO out of proportion. ...we'll see. hopefully i will be trying on more and making a final decision after i've booked my final sugery date! just soooo anxious.....need..mammogram...STAT!

I booked my appointment today!! FINALLY!! $500...

i booked my appointment today!! FINALLY!! $500 non-refundable scheduling fee, so there's no turning back now! i think i'm still in disbelief....

my surgery is scheduled for 9/6. pre-op on 8/20. sizing appointment (to try on all different sizes) on 8/17.

my original plan was 304cc silicone unders (natrelle), but now after looking at before/afters, i think i'm definitely going to go smaller. i am actually wanting a more modest result...but i keep reading about women who wish they went bigger. dilemma dilemma.....

so excited now...but also scared about the recovery. i'm trying to get together a list of things i should purchase and get ready prior to my surgery. i've put together this list from piecing together what i've gathered from reading alot of posts here. so thanks to everyone for the tips! wondering if i'm missing anything....

To Buy:
reading pillow with arms
lumbar pillow w/ pillow under knees
front close sports bras
button front pjs
zip front tops
dial soap
colace (stool softner)
milk of magnesia
frozen peas
apple sauce
soda water

To Do:
pre-cook meals - freeze
pick up all prescriptions
take colace night before surgery (if OK with dr)

To Bring to surgery:
fuzzy socks
zip front hoodie
colace (stool softner)
water bottle with bendy straw
vomit bags

Got my lab work done this morning so that the...

got my lab work done this morning so that the results will be ready for the PS by my monday pre-op appointment.

i'm starting to lose sleep because i lay awake thinking about everything --- preparing, recovery, boobs, etc etc. *yawn* right now i think my biggest worry is sizing. i want something NATURAL. so i'm a little worried about picking the right size. anxious for my friday sizing appointment...
300cc silicone unders...or smaller?? eeks.

I LOVE my PS's office!!! had my sizing...

i LOVE my PS's office!!! had my sizing appointment on friday and was still not sure - so they let me take home the samples to try out over the weekend & bring back on monday @ my pre-op appt. i've been wearing the 304's out and about these past 2 days and at times they don't seem that big - especially in pictures. then other times i'll catch a glimpse of myself and be like, "WHOA!!" i wish that getting implants was this easy --- instant results with ZERO pain! :) i have a feeling i'm going to have a hard time parting with these babies on monday...."whoops, sorry doc, i totally forgot to bring them back today! *wink wink*"

2 more days until surgery day!! i started taking...

2 more days until surgery day!! i started taking colace today since i was told to start a few days before surgery, just to help get things going BEFORE everything starts backing up. but it made me feel nauseas. i THINK it's the colace, at least. i hope i'm not getting sick! anyways, i've been cleaning and organizing and trying to get everything settled before the big day. i'm SO thankful that my son's kindergarten after school program serves them hot lunch so that's 1 less lunch to pack everyday. i just have to pack up a morning snack everyday, so i got those brown bags all ready with a cereal bar or bag of mini muffins and those genius milk boxes that don't need refrigeration! i told my hubby that he just needs to put one in the backpack every morning for a week. as for my 2 yr old, his daycare doesn't provide lunch so i'll still need to get those ready, i'm thinking he's going to be having an awful lot of lunchables for a week. :|

we moved a chair & ottoman from my son's room into our room since it'll help me sleep upright a bit easier. i also pulled out my snoogle from when i was pregnant, maybe i can use that in some way. the chair looks super comfy...but i'm sure after a couple of days on that thing it won't prove to be as comfy as it looks right now! the kids keep wanting to sit in it cuz it just looks very cozy. :)

my mom will be coming over for the first week. she won't drive to daycare/school to drop off/ pick up the kids and doesn't cook, but at least she can help me if my little one wants to be carried. hopefully things will go smoothly and she won't cause my blood pressure to rise. *sigh*

instead of buying frozen veggies for ice packs, i made my own ice packs. they're more maleable than regular ice packs that freeze hard, i just hope they don't leak out of the ziploc. i also made my own ice pack covers for them so i hope they work! :) i purchased a few sleeveless button up pj sets with capri bottoms from they were only like $13 for a set! super comfortable! and with the weather so hot i think they should work out just fine!

i am anxious to get the surgery over with and get on my way recovery! of course still nervous and just don't feel like i have enough time to prepare...but....overall, BRING IT ON!!

So my surgery was scheduled for 9/6. checked into...

so my surgery was scheduled for 9/6. checked into the surgery center at 8am and everything went smoothly. the longer i waited the more nervous i got. but the time came and next thing i know, i was waking up in recovery. i wasn't expecting to be coughing so much. i sounded like an old smoker. that hacking cough. when i was spitting stuff out, it was blood. of course i was a little freaked out, but the nurse said it's normal since i was intubated. but the coughing was pretty bad. with the coughing and the pressure, i had some trouble breathing in recovery. but as the coughing subsided (with the help of a throat lozenge), the breathing was better. but i started feeling nauseas when i got up to use the bathroom so they gave me something. but on the drive home, i felt so nauseas, but luckily fell asleep. got home, took my antibiotic and went to try and sleep. the pain was not a "sharp" kind of pain, but more so just like an elephant was sitting on my chest. took my next painkiller at 5pm and it made me so loopy and nauseas that i made that my last pain killer. the discomfort of the surgery is manageable, but the nausea and loopiness was not. so i made it thru the first night without meds..hopefully i will make it thru another day/night without it as well.
this morning, woke up and now i know what everyone is referring to as "morning boob". man, the tightness and pressure! now after about an hour of being up and about, it's feeling a little better. but man, that morning book is no joke!
kind of annoyed that i thought my hubby was going to work from home today too, but come to find out this mroning as he was taking the kids to school,
he yelled up, "i'm going to try and pick them up today."
me: "huh? are you going to work?"
him: "yeah. so i'll try and pick them up tonight"
me: "WHAT? well...i CANNOT pick them up, have to."
him: "ok fine..i WILL pick them up"
and with that..gone...left me seething. yes, my mom is here, but she can't really help and more than anything, it's been a bit stressful. after coming home from surgery yesterday, i just wnted to sleep. she would come in and wake me up just to ask me if i'm cold.. or come in and wake me up to ask if i'm ok. GEEEZ!!!

but guess the little pep talk my Dr gave my husband yesterday abotu treating me like a princess and doing everything for me went in one ear and out the next. HMMPH!!!
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