DONE...can't wait to feel 100% and see the end result

i just want to say, i'm so happy i've found realself.com. thank you for sharing all your stories and experiences, it's helped in my research (and my nerves) so far immensely!

anyways, i feel like i can finally start an account here because i'm 1 step closer to actually getting my BA done...finally! i've been wanting one since i can remember. i remember in high school having dreams about getting implants and just knowing from early on that i wasn't developing. it was so embarassing. all through my life i've just felt less womanly and in turn, i think i've always been treated as younger than my age because i look like a 15 year old girl (even boy) - even tho i'm a mother of 2 (5 yrs & 2 yrs). i feel so fortunate that my husband is so supportive, knowing my motives and how it's made me feel emotionally, physcially. of course i'm sure he'll reap alot of the benefit of this BA, but still, i don't take it for granted. i know far too many people that don't have the same support, so i'm just grateful. the only person that is not as supportive is my mom....yet she had a BA like 30 years ago! (long story, another kind of blog). but i'm 38, i'm not "asking for permission". i've let her know through the years how i feel and i listen to her objections, but it does not discourage me. i'm determined. :) i haven't set my final surgery date yet since i want to get my mammogram cleared before i pony up the $500 non-refundable scheduling fee, but i'm HOPING for a Sept6 surgery date! OMG i cannot even believe i'm saying this right now!!! i hope i'm not jinxing myself....

i met with 3 different PS. here is how they went:

#1 PS consultation
the first PS i went to, of course i was nervous, didn't know what to expect, but my husband was able to join me. he was really nice, but went off on tangents alot, which i don't mind, makes him more personable. but he was asian, yet he made some weird asian remarks that seemed like he was trying too hard. he also only had a little wicker basket of sample implants - of random sizes, no pairs. he made no suggestions and although he did measurements, even when i asked his opinion, he just kept deferring to whatever i wanted. he finally told me to wear rice sizers.

#2 PS consultation
the second PS i met with was EXTREMELY thorough. she came in and was very direct, straight forward and did not JUST glamourize BA. she gave me the facts and walked me through everything and had some extremely great advice/tips/information. she then gave me a brand new bra to wear for trying on every different size and profile implants possible. she told me what the largest size i could pull off based on my measurements and what profile i should go with to prevent the "tori spelling". she also gave me some great advice about putting my 2 yr old in a toddler bed prior to my surgery and making sure they get in/out of the car seats alone at that point too. she dispelled alot of the things that the other PS said that i was concerned about. she also requires an "all clear" mammogram result and cosmetassure insurance, which i think is a great idea. she just seems to really care for my general overall well-being and not just about forcing me to make a quick decision and make money.

#3 PS consultation
the third PS i met was really nice. extremely personable and had great bedside manner. however, when i asked about some samples i could try on, he gave me the run around and just told me to bring in pictures of breasts on the day of surgery and i ended up NOT trying any implants or seeing any. i have NO idea where i would find these or know what i want, since everyone's body is different and i'm not familiar with the cc measurements. when i spoke with the coordinator to get my quote, she breezed through it and dismissed any pre-op lab work because "you look young and healthy, it'll be fine." asked if i could get a detailed quote with the line items broken out she said "no, we just don't do it that way." then told me that i could get a discount if i paid in cold hard cash. they also gave me 1 quote if i schedule within 30 days and another quote $500 more if i schedule after 30 days of my consultation date. it's kind of weird because i can understand if they said that the quoted $ is valid for 30 days. after 30 days you have to get another consultation. but to just straight up tell you if you book later, you pay more is just BS to me. i felt a bit iffy about that one walking out of there.

of course, i went with #2 and i'm SO excited. i reviewed the final quote today and made my appointment for a mammogram. however, i don't know if anyone else has had this experience, but my primary care physcian would not order me a mammogram. i actually thought that since i'm "almost" 40, that they would encourage me to just get a mammogram, no questions asked. but when i asked if i had to go through them to order me a mammogram, she refused to order one for me. i finally had to spell it out to her that i'm thinking about getting BA and need it to make sure that everything is OK prior to scheduling my surgery. she responded with, "make an appt for a routine physical." WTF. right now, i just need a mammogram, so i'm too impatient to find a new primary care physician, but i think i'm going to after this. bedside manner could be improved. hmmph.
my appt is scheduled for next tues (7/17)!!! *squeal*

height: 5'2"
weight: 120lbs
before bra size: 34A
implants: natrelle silicone
size: 304cc
profile: moderate profile
where: under muscle
incision: inframmary fold

i definitely want to try on the size smaller than 304cc though since i really want to go really natural. i think i'm even ok with it being smaller, since something is better than what i have now - nothing. what is the size below 304cc? i'm still not sure about the sizing and cc's since they sound so random. LOL.

what i'm most freaked out about is not the pain of the recovery, but how i'm going to care for my kids. i'm a stay-at-home mom with a husband who works at a start-up (long & late hours with little flexiblity). i think we're already going to be pushing it having him work from home the day he drives me to and from my surgery. *sigh* so...that's what i'm afraid of. we have no family that can really help out close by. my mom is close by, but there are so many issues about that, i don't even think we can go there in this forum. so...this is where my head's at. i don't want to sacrafice my kids' well-beings for my boobies...internal battle ensues....

thanks again for sharing ... i'm excited to be here!