I have wanted an augmentation for many years and...
18 Jun 2014
11 months pre
I have wanted an augmentation for many years and have done extensive research. I am finally at a point in my life financially, physically, and emotionally where I feel like I am ready. I am using this site as a means to communicate with others on their BA journey and chronicle my experiences.
A little background: I was born with a minor deformity in my rib cage. There is a dip within right side of my rib cage. Pediatricians informed my parents that when my breasts developed the breast tissue would fill the small pocket. Unfortunately, I developed small breasts as well as asymmetrical breasts since the tissue filled that pocket. This is the primary reason for my breast augmentation alongside wanting an enhancement for a more feminine shape.
I am very active. I work out at a local gym 3 -4 times a week and focus on lifting with little cardio.
I recently researched plastic surgeons in my area and set up a consultation with the one I felt was best qualified. The consultation was very different from my expectations. I went into the office with a plan. After all of my research, I knew exactly what I wanted, had pictures, tried out the rice test, and took extensive notes. I was hoping to leave that day with an appointment for surgery shortly after.
My surgeon made a lot of assumptions after hearing my age and tried talking me out of my implants, but when I explained my situation and discussed all my research, he was impressed and took me more seriously.
My original plan from my research was to get saline implants under the muscle with an inframammary incision with 250 cc's in my larger breast and 275 cc's in the smaller one. During the consultation, my plastic surgeon gave me very different advice. He suggested that I go with subglandular silicone implants (keeping inframmary incisions). I tried on a few different implants and was surprised at how large they looked in my sports bra. I think I am actually going to downsize in the amount of cc's. Perhaps 225 and 250 cc's instead. I prefer the moderate profile style as well.
I also had a lot of concerns about silicone. My research turned up a lot of negative things about silicone, so I had my mind set on saline and never gave it another chance. The PS informed me that they've come a long way with silicone and spent a great deal changing my mind from saline to silicone. It's an added expense, but this procedure is so important to me and I want everything done just right.
We also discussed subglandular versus submuscular. From pictures and blogs I followed, submuscular was the most common placement and looked natural. I have not seen many subglandular placements. I would like to revisit my PS soon and have him closely evaluate my breasts to ensure that I have enough breast tissue for a very natural looking subglandular implant.
The only hiccup I have encountered now is the age limit that comes with silicone implants. I am 21 and the FDA requires a minimum age of 22. I was very disappointed when I heard this news. I was under the impression that it was 21. I was so ready to officially start this journey and now it will be put off until 2015...
After a good cry in my car, I decided that it would be the best birthday gift to myself and that I would be ready just in time for the summer.
So, this is where I am in my journey right now. Playing the waiting game!
Closer to surgery... closer to God?
I know this isn't technically a blog, but as this is my personal account, I feel this is a great place to share, and I hope to reach others struggling with this as well...
I've got a pre-op date set for April 27, and my surgery will be on May 12.
I am actually thinking of going a little smaller when I speak with my surgeon.
It's been 8 months since my post, and it's really interesting to see my thought process back then. Time really does fly. Now that the time is approaching, I have a lot of different emotions.
I feel excited that it is finally happening. It really doesn't seem real yet! The thought of what I am going to look like afterward makes me wish I was going today.
My anxieties stem from a lot of "What if" scenarios. What if I have a bad reaction to anesthesia? What if I don't like them? What if I have to go back for surgery a few years down the road? What if I get capsular contracture?
I want to go smaller because I am afraid of looking top heavy.
I have still only told a few people. I still feel like there is a stigma against women who get plastic surgery.
I'm a woman of Faith, and I've struggled with what my Faith says about cosmetic surgery.
Many argue that this surgery is for vanity, a desire to accepted, a lack of self confidence, or some other motive. Many see surgery as a solution to a problem.
In my life, I have never seen this as a solution to a problem. My S.O. has never pressured me to go through with it. This has all been my decision, my desires, and my image. I could go the rest of my life without having this surgery and know that my S.O. would think I am beautiful and love me just the same.
For me, this surgery is just like putting on my make up. It's an enhancement. It makes me feel good and it boosts my confidence. I'm highlighting features that I have. I feel like small implants highlight my features(breasts) in that same way.
My S.O. thinks I am beautiful and that is the only opinion that matters. I don't believe I absolutely need them to continue my life, but I have the means, the desire, and the willingness.
I've had a lot of drastic hair cuts. I love to change my hair, try new make up, experiment with new styles... Does this change in image mean that I am unhappy with how I was created? I don't think so. They are things I wanted to do to enhance myself.
I am psychologically and emotionally quite stable. I am a very positive and upbeat person. I'm outgoing and confident. I've done all the research and understand the risks for a change like this, and my excitement and desire to change my look outweighs the risks.
The Bible warns about vanity and seeing yourself as an idol when you become too involved with image. However, I don't see myself as vain or idolizing myself.
The Bible also warns against "drawing attention to yourself." Again, the purpose of this procedure isn't to draw attention to myself. I am not looking to break any records in cc's here; I'm just looking for symmetrical and slightly larger breasts. Long story short, the way I look in a push up bra is how I want to look naked! If I was wearing the same shirt pre-op, I want to look the same post-op in that shirt. That's hardly "drawing attention."
God's concern is with my heart and my life for Him. My life is spent serving Him. I don't think He will condemn me for a slight enhancement. It won't affect my desire to desperately seek a relationship with Him. My priorities in life are simple: Love God, Love His people. If this surgery doesn't hinder that, then I see no issue.
Writing all of this out here has really helped me make sense of my thoughts and convinced me further to pursue this. I was afraid if I dealt with these issues that I would change my mind and walk away from something I really wanted, but it all makes sense to me now.
I know that I am loved unconditionally by my God, my S.O., my family, and friends regardless if my breasts are all tissue or a little bit of silicone. ;)
If you are struggling with this decision or having the same thoughts, please share!
Anyone out there with 200/225 cc's?
I met with PS again and after going back and forth between sizes, we both felt that 200/225 was perfect for what I needed. I have slightly assymtryical breasts and my main goals were simple: to even my breasts and be slightly larger. I want to look more like a woman and less like a budding teen. I am tired of being "cute" and being perceived as a child, but I digress...
Most people I've seen on here are 250cc or higher... Is there anyone out there with implants as small as 200cc? I'm not completely flat across my chest, but it's a struggle to evenly fill out a 32B bra. Did you regret not going larger? I erred on the side of caution and went smaller because I do not want to look top heavy or have any kind of fake looking attributes, but I also don't want the invest all this money and walk away feeling like my breasts don't look any different.
Post-op Goals: symmetry (as close as possible) and slightly larger for my frame
Trying on silicone sizers
I hope that they will sit up a little higher on my chest when they are actually implanted.
I am really starting to feel nervous and anxious. I've been dealing with anxiety all day and I keep telling myself that it is just anxiety, but I can't just force the feelings away despite the fact I want to so badly.
I've been doing things slowly and deliberately to distract myself. I've just been hyper aware of my body today and asking myself crazy questions. Am I peeing too much today? Have I eaten enough? Too much? I sneezed, am I getting sick? My arms has a weird pain. Is that serious?
I would never question those things on a normal day. I wish I could just block out all the noise in my brain and take things as they come. I'm just too type A!!
I'm still so excited about my surgery, but I'm ready to get the scary "what ifs" out of the way and wake up to my new boobs!
Did anyone else feel this way? Any advice?
I know I'm being totally irrational and it frustrates me that I can't make myself be calm and collected!
Pre Admissions Appointment
This is just a post about my pre admission appointment.
I arrived with my husband and we had to run back and forth between different places, but overall it was easy.
They drew blood, took a urine sample, got my family and health history, weighed me, took my blood pressure, reviewed all my medications, and reviewed tomorrow's provedure.
I came prepared with any and all questions I could think of.
I'm going in for marking this evening and I've got to wash with the antibacterial soap.
Will update more later!! The countdown is on!!
Pre op pictures
I will post the same clothes and tops post op.
Surgery Day! My first post op pic!
12 May 2015
Day of treatment
There's a lot of soreness and swelling still going on. Right breast that has the bigger implant hurts worse than the other.
First Recovery Day
I'm feeling sore and frozen peas are my BFFs.
The burning sensation in my right nipple has subsided. I hope it doesn't return.
I want to work my way off of the Percocets.
My appetite is fine. But my advice to anyone reading is NOT to forget to have a few sips of caffiene if you usually have coffee, tea, or soda. You do not want a caffeine headache on top of the breast pain!
Need to drop and fluff A LOT!
Took off those itchy bandages and got a sneak peek at my stitches. I replaced the gauze just to catch any potential oozing from the incisions.
3rd Day at Home..
I showered yesterday and BOY was that nice. I was really scared the hot water would hurt my breasts, but it felt so nice. I didn't wanna get out!
I'm hoping I can get these pesky drains out today. They are so annoying, and I'm getting 10 or less cc's of pinkish fluid.
I'm just sore around my incisions today. Lots of icing for that!
I also find that getting up and walking around the house a few minutes alleviates the back pain I've been feeling.
I also found out that I'm most likely allergic to the Keflex I'm on. Every time I take it my hands and feet get crazy itchy!! I just started taking Benadryl with it and problem solved!
I think physically not being able to do much caught up with me yesterday and I was a little depressed. Hopefully that's the end of the Boobie Blues that so many experience! I'll just be glad when they feel like my own breasts instead of these 2 foreign things that just sit on my swollen chest!
Side note: also putting lots of neosporin on my incisions!
I'll be going to look for a sports bra or compression bra at some point today. Any suggestions or favorites?
Drains are gone!
I was draining fewer than 20 cc's in 24 hours so those drains are finally gone!
However, that was so painful on my right breast. I think that the drain was touching a nerve or something because it hurt when it was pulled out and it hurt for some time afterward. I came home, took a Percocet, and iced it; as of now, I feel much better, but it hurt as if he just pulled the tube straight through my nipple. It was bizarre. I really want to be careful with that. My left breast is absolutely fine though. No problems there at all.
I've started applying cocoa butter today. My PS didn't recommend massaging, but I hope the gentle movements of applying cocoa butter will encourage them to drop a little quicker.
Post Op pics!
I looooove them! A modest size that fits my frame just right!!
Power of Prayer through the Pain
I've been in terrible pain since my drains were removed from my right breast yesterday and after researching, I'm fairly certain I've got some nerve damage. There's a sharp burning and stabbing sensation in my breast.
I've been praying steadily through the pain and I am thankful that God hears me. I pray that this pain will be completely healed, so I can fully enjoy my new look that I love.
God has brought me this far in my healing and I know he won't leave me now.
I'm so thankful for my friends and family that have been such a blessing in checking in on me. I am truly blessed!
Thank you, Jesus!
Doing okay... Minus same burning pain
I thought I was feeling zingers in my chest but maybe not. Everyone describes theirs as painful but easy to get through. The pain I'm feeling brings me to tears and I typically have a high threshold for pain.
I'm a little bummed as I hoped that I'd be up and doing more by now. A lot of people are posting their recovery has been a breeze since they passed the 3rd day. I feel like the pain in my chest took me a few steps backward. I'm kind of worried of how things will go at work tomorrow.
I do get a lot of relief of when I shower. The hot water feels great on my chest and the pain becomes non existstant.
My PS recommended not massaging my implants, but cupping my breast and gently moving the implant/breast really helps the pain. Wearing the granny bra I bought has been really helpful too. I didn't realize how much difference in pain that wearing some support could make.
I'm trying to keep in good spirits by thinking of how fun bathing suit shopping will be for our beach trip coming up in June, but I hope this pain will be gone by then.
The community support from everyone has been so helpful on these down days. Continuing to pray you all have positive experiences in your journey!!
First day back at work/One week Post Op
Today was my first day back at work. I wore a button down shirt so hide my bulky bra. I didn't tell anyone about my surgery but I still felt like people were looking at my chest. I guess I'm just self conscious!
The pain was ok, but there times when I had to sit and take a breather. I was tired easily and turning the wrong or something brought on the shooting pains. I accidentally dropped an iPad I was holding my immediate instinct was to catch it not even thinking about how the sudden movement would send those tingling pains!
The showers are still my favorite part of the day! The hot water and pressure is like a mini massage.
I've noticed I've got some numbness towards the bottoms of both my breasts and hypersensitive nipples. I keep reading up on things I can do to speed up the nerve regeneration process because it's really the only major pain I experience. My PS didn't recommend massaging, but many PSs here say that massaging the tingling painful areas will help with pain and teach the nerves the difference between a "bad" and a "good" touch. I just hope it'll be over soon so I can fully enjoy the new look.
I'm also anxious for the drop and fluff to happen. I feel like I have giant boobs right now and I think when drop and the swelling subsides, they'll look more how I hoped for.
I'm going to try sleeping without a bra tonight. The tightness of the support bra I bought really helps with those nerve pains, but I felt good without when I got out of the shower, so I wanna let me incisions breathe a little and let gravity do its thing.
I hope everything is only going up from here! I have to make an appointment to have some stitches removed soon.
In retrospect, I wish my surgeon told me about the pains that come outside of surgery. Other than the anesthesia and post surgery pain expected the first few days, I wish I knew exactly how long and painful the healing process was going to be. I hope I'm not one of the people who still get shooting pains and numbness 3 months out!
Still praying and keeping the faith! I missed my early morning car rides to work when I just listen to worship music. I forget about the pain and enjoy the car ride and worship. Continuing to pray for peace and healing!
Mixed feelings, new healings!
Ive been bouncing between good days and off days. There are times when I feel great and I can do things on my own and enjoy my new look, and then I have days where I am just tired of being in pain and tired of being tired and even tired of not being able to do something I did yesterday. Theres a lot of mixed feelings going on.
I'm really praying for patience. I hate waiting and I chose to have a procedure that's takes a lot of time before you get the look you want.
It has been a bumpy road, but I still remain hopeful for the future!
Subtle changes with Overs..
I feel like the changes with Overs are way more subtle than Unders. I can't wait for them to soft and squishy like real boobs!
Right now it's kind of firm like an orange.
Ack! I'm ready for these stitches to some out. I'm glad I'm itchy because it means my skin is healing, but UGH. Must. Not. Scratch!!
So far I've still got numbness around the bottom of my breasts and the intense nipple pain has subsided and turned into more of an intense soreness rather than a sharp burning pain. I've been takkng ibuprofen regularly and I think it has helped...
I take it as so as I wake up because or the dreaded morning boob. The tightness and back aches. I'm a side sleeper and I can't wait to be able to side sleep comfortably again!
I'm still getting used to actually having boobs because sometimes I'll look at them or take and think, Good Lord, they are huge!! I think once I get used to them and they drop, they won't seem so massive!
Question about the numbness... I know it'll eventually go away on its own, but has anyone tried gently rubbing or sensory exercise to help them wake up a little bit?
Update pictures below! I haven't worn a lot of my wedding lingerie I got 3 years ago because it didn't make me feel sexy. I just felt bad because I didn't fill it out. Well, check me out now! Also have an old bathing suit top that makes me look like I have tig ol' bitties! Lol! I think I might have to donate that to little sis now!
No More Meds!!
The bottoms of my breasts are still numb.
My right breast gets those weird pangs of burning and stinging during the day at weird times. It's usually right after I wake up in the morning or after I've put on my bra.
Morning boob is alive and well!
Today is the first day I haven't taken any medicine! No ibuprofen or anything. I hope it stays this way!
My nipples are still pretty sensitive!!
Since the first bra I bought was leaving marks on my breasts, I decided to get a new one in a larger size. Right now I'm wearing a large sports bra that just covers them, no major support. So I guess I would wear a medium in a sports bra now rather than an XS.
Pictures didn't post..
These were supposed to be with my previous post.
Happy Dance and Tears of Joy!!
Everyone is SO right when they say the first 2 weeks are the hardest.. Today has been the best day so far. I haven't had any of those burning sensations and my nipples gave me a break today from being super sensitive!! I felt well enough to go catch the swim suit sale at Target.
I was elated when I picked up swim suit tops that were a size small with absolutely no wire and no padding!!! I just stared in the dressing room like, "is this for real? Is this really me?" Lol
The confidence I felt made me forget all about the sensitive nipples, itchy stitches, nerve pains, and anything else I had been feeling!!
My husband just laughed when I yelled "Im a woman now!!"
I've got a meeting with my ps on Wednesday and I really hope the stitches come out. Some people have said that hypothyroidism causes you to heal more slowly than others, but I'm keeping positive for now!
Still a 32B!!!
I bought a bra today with no padding and no underwire in a 32B!! That's exactly what I was before but with
tons of padding and push up and lots of areas I didn't quite fill out due to unevenness.
This was SO much better than when I tried to go a week ago and ended up crying and leaving empty handed.
When the first sales associate tried to size and give me a 32D and 32DD I just cried. I thought that if that was my size then I had made a huge mistake and that I would just be a pair of walking breasts for the rest of my life. I talked with my husband and he reassured me that I needed to be patient and stop rushing the healing process. It's crazy the difference one week can make.
I decided that I was going to avoid asking an associate for help and just experiment on my own. I tried on the 32B and felt good, but I had an associate check it out just to make sure it wasn't too tight in places where I am still numb and she said it was a great fit. Oh! I was elated! I also got a small bralette to wear under some clothes because I actually prefer going braless now! It's easier on my nipples which are still pretty sensitive.
I'm not experiencing any pain. Just morning stiffness and some tingling now and then in the numb areas.
I had my first row of stitches taken out, and hopefully the next row very soon! Then I will move on to those Silocone sheets everyone keeps talking about.
I'm looking for a different way to moisturize my skin though. I lathered up in that cocoa butter and my skin broke out in little pimples! Yuck! I just have way super sensitive skin. If it's not Cetaphil, I don't usually use it.
I also noticed they are starting to get more squishy like real boobs! Yay! They are so great for my frame and underneath my clothes, you can't tell I've had anything done!
One Month Anniversary!
Thanks to RFNorway, I wanted to post my video and share how they are looking at one month. They are SO soft and squishy now! Like real boobies!
I've been wanting to do scar treatment, but my PS said I cannot put anything on my scars at all until another 2 weeks. You can see in the video they look pink and dry.
I am still numb under the bottoms of my breasts. I will be so glad when they goes away, but at least it isn't painful.
I have no pain at all. Feeling great! Still feeling like I need to dress more modest because I am still getting used to the size. I walk around like, Oh my gosh. Everyone knows! Lol. But, I still look the same in all my clothes, I'm just being dramatic. :)
The girls made their big beach debut and it was so exciting! Not constantly pulling up my top, not worrying my huge padding will fall out of my suit, and feeling confident!
I've gained more sensation back in my nipples, but there are still numb places on the bottoms of my breasts.
I've had to buy a few different bras because I haven't found the perfect fit yet. Since parts are still numb, it's hard to tell when a bra is digging into my skin.
I've been using Silocone strips for a week now. I like they add a little cushion between my scar and clothes; it really helps with the itchiness!
I still looooooove them! I don't post often, but every day I check my account and see what you're all up to. You're all so awesome and brave!