18 Days Post-Op...still swelling but feeling good *new pics

I have always been the chubby girl. At my heaviest, I got up to 300 pounds. After spending a hot miserable July at Disney World with my 5 year old, then coming home to see my pictures and realizing how out of control my weight had gotten, I decided it was time to make a change. I have always had low self esteem and confidence. Some of this got a little better after spending a year and a half losing over 100 pounds. I came home and walked on the treadmill relentlessly everyday. Sometimes for up to an hour and a half. I also started watching what I ate and cut out sodas...but the stomach was always there. Anytime I put on any kind of tight fitting shirt that hugged my fat rolls, anytime I walked outside and the wind blew my shirt up against it. I'm tired of wearing tents for shirts and looking like I am twice as big as I am.

I still feel like the morbidly obese girl because of this stomach. I've lost all this weight and while I was in a 22 before, I'm still in a 14-16 because of it. I could fit in a 10-12 if not for it. I am tired of not feeling like I can take my shirt off in front of my boyfriend because it's embarrassing. I'm tired of tensing up when he puts his arm over my stomach when we're laying in bed, making him uncomfortable because he felt me tense up and knows I'm uncomfortable.

Even my previous relationship of 14 years and my son's father, I couldn't take my shirt off in front of him. It's embarrassing to exercise and hear my stomach flapping in the wind becuase of all the loose skin. I am over it and so ready for this. I am begging borrowing and stealing (well not stealing) to pay for this and I don't even care. I have waited for so long and can't wait to finally be able to feel good about myself after all this time and all the weight I have lost.

I am currently scheduled for April 9th and am counting down the days. I will keep all of you updated on my progress and post pictures as soon as I have some after shots. Like most, I will feel much better about posting the befores then. I wish all of you the best of luck!

Sorry...Let me give you more information about myself. I will be 35 in a few weeks and have one child, 9 years old. My max weight reached 300 pounds, size 22, in July of 2007. I have gotten down to as low as 170, and am currently at 215 and wearing a size anywhere from a 12 to a 16 depending on brand. I have always been one to carry my weight really well, even at 300 pounds you would have never guessed I weighed that much. I have recently put some of the weight back on due to being happy in a new relationship and I had started eating more and stopped working out. I also quit smoking 2 months ago and have since started exercising again and walking everyday. I also broke up with Ben and Jerry...that was a difficult loss in my life. And that brings me to today...hoping to get rid of this ugly thing in front of me so I can look at my bright future and not my fat roll. Counting down the days....

Everyday I am waking up and counting down the days I have to look at this thing attached to me. Just the idea that I am finally going to have it done, makes me feel like I am dreaming. I know my friends and family are sick of hearing me talk about it. Thank goodness for this place. I feel myself starting to get nervous and feeling like I need to start nesting already. I have lists for everything over here and a spare room full of supplies! Will this day ever get here???