29 Yr Old, Done with Fakeness! My Breast Implant Removal Journey - Vancouver, WA

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Hi All! I am so glad I found this site (nearly a...

Hi All! I am so glad I found this site (nearly a year ago), as it has helped me reach the decision to get my breast implants removed. Thank you, strong ladies! I am 29 years old, married w/o kids, and got 350cc (i think) saline breast implants inserted subpectorally (under muscle) 5.5 years ago when I was 23 years old. Went from A cup to large B/C cup. My PS was great and part of me feels bad wanting to remove them because he did such an amazing job! My boobs look natural, feel good, I have no abnormalities with them. They are really beautiful boobs, just not mine! And as I grow older and want to have kids soon, I just can't believe I did this to my body in the first place! I wish I learned to accept myself for who I am! But at 23 I was young and stupid and actually going through a really rough time in my life and thought these would make me feel better about myself. Once I got them in, I liked them, but when it came to visiting family and friends, I became paranoid that they would know that my boobs were fake. My insecurities about this actually ended up weighing more than my insecurities over having my original small boobs! For the past five years, I have covered up this area, started hunching (because when I stand straight, you can tell they are implants as they budge out, and I actually GAINED weight so that my body was proportioned to my bigger breasts! I am 5'5" and was 135 and now am 145-150lbs. I used to be very athletic... Running and lifting weights. I stopped lifting (for fear of capsular contracture) and can only run 3-5 miles before I just feel heavy. They are so uncomfortable when exercising, and that's something I wish I knew before I got them in. I have a consult this coming Monday with a PS who has great reviews for Breast implant removal. Since I haven't developed any complications, I'm hoping he'll remove them under local anesthesia. I really don't want to go under again. As a side note, I also am removing my mirena IUD around the same time. I'm done with fake things being in my body and want to feel real again. When I get my boobs out, I'll probably look more like I used to (slender athletic build) and the removal of my birth control can be the "reason" I can tell people I lost weight... I am so embarrassed to even admit that I have implants and that I actually paid a lot of $$ to do this to myself, go under the knife, all in the sake of trying to cure my insecurities! What I needed was a good dose of self love! Now that I'm older, I absolutely love me, I have accepted myself, and I try to embrace my differences. God did not make us to look all the same!
I also have since moved away from Orange County, what I consider a poisonous place to be raised (now looking back!). There was always this pressure to have the blondest hair, skinniest body, biggest boobs, nicest car, and McMansion to live in. I always felt that I didn't belong and moving away from there was the best decision I've ever made. I now live in a small, beautiful city in the mountains. People here are kind, drive old cars (even though they don't have too), and there's a strong sense of community and family. My husband and I live much more comfortably and well under our means and overall enjoy life more. I think that's why this past year I've really thought about finally ridding myself of societal expectation of what my body should look like, and I've embraced all of the amazing things a woman's body does! Grow a baby! Birth a baby! Feed a baby! Make love to my husband!
I'm not really concerned with what my post-explant boobs will look like. I'm just glad I'm getting them out before I get pregnant. I don't think I could handle them getting any bigger. I don't think I could handle complications with breast feeding because of my decision to put breast implants in my body. Also, I'd like to avoid any sagging so explanting before pregnancy will help avoid that I think.
I have my first consult this Monday. I am a little nervous, but more excited! If he could take them out while I was there I would do it! My husband has been so supportive of me and will be going with me. He knew me shortly before I got them in, and said he loved me without them, but supported me in my wishes to get them. It was a really rash decision, and we hadn't been dating long enough for him to say that it might not be a good idea. He says he just wants me to do what makes me happy :) I was worried he's going to miss my boobs when they're out, since he seems to like playing with them haha, but he's always so "look at the bright side" that I'm sure he'll love me natural again too :)
Once it gets closer to surgery, I'll be posting before and after pics of my journey. Hopefully it will help inspire others as others have inspired me.
If you are a woman considering breast augmentation, or are afraid of what your post explant boobs will look like, I would like to tell you something. YOU are absolutely beautiful just the way you are. You are strong, you are smart, and you have the power to inspire others each day of your life. Give yourself permission to love yourself. True deep down self love. Radiate from within. Realize all of the amazing things your body is built to do without any enhancement surgery. Embrace your differences. There is no "right" way to look, except for happy :) realize that when you radiate peace and self love from within, you are giving others permission to love you as much as you love yourself. Know that you don't have to be a product of crappy parenting or a crappy environment. You can change your family history and start anew with your children, and impact generations after you.
When I was 17 and complaining that my boobs were too small to my mom and that someday I was going to get a boob job, my mom said to me. "Well, my natural boobs were bigger that yours now, but I still got a boob job, so maybe that's a good idea for you." This is SICK parenting and is not what we should be telling our daughters!!! Just because my mother's insecurities got projected onto me doesn't mean I have to live with them forever. I am giving myself permission to love me, and to be an amazing mother to my future children!
Well, enough of my kumbayah, I just feel so strongly about this and what's happening in the minds of girls today. I sincerely hope that each of you has a positive journey in your quest for real ness :)
I'll be updating with pics as it comes closer to removal! Hugs :)
Ps. For those of you considering breast implants, use the $5,000-$10,000 and go on an amazing vacation instead! Or install a home gym! Or pay off your credit card! Or buy a car in cash! Or donate it to charities that help women! Just some food for thought :)
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