My goals are to improve my body for the next 10-15...
My goals are to improve my body for the next 10-15 years. I am 5ft4 and 113 lbs so my body mass index is low and i really cant be any thinner. (i just end up binge eating if i eat any less anyway) I eat really healthy -mostly vegan and raw foodist and i work our 2 times a week as well as running around after my 2 kids (aged 4 and 7).
So I am generally happy with my body but 2 pregnancies have taken their toll. My abdominal wall is very lax- if i dont suck my gut in all the time i look 2nd trimester pregnant. and my breasts which i always liked have significant pstosis after breast feeding for 4 years (each kid 2 years if you cant do the math :))
My surgery is next week and i'm starting to feel really nervous. All the doubting thoughts. Am i being vain and narcissistic? The money for this would pay for a girls school in Pakistan? What am i modelling to my 2 girls? etc etc
But I just have this gut feeling its something I should do even though I'm very nervous.
1 week pre-op
Today did a vigorous exercise class, im gonna miss that for a while.
This time next week im gonna be post-op. Im feeling less anxious, this is a gift that i have this opportunity- hopefully it will all turn out ok.
more before pics, less than a week now
feeling calmer now, i'm pretty sure i am in good hands, just hope the recovery is easier than some of the ones i have read here as i am going back to work after 19 days.
Ok folks I am counting down the days, someone give me some cheerleading that I am doing the right thing and I'm not crazy. Just had a thought- don't have a will, this is where my head is at!
I feel that some people around me don't think I need this because basically I'm small normal in the size dept. But what about all the mid section skin and muscle laxity- doesn't really match the rest of me.
1 day left
Luckily been so busy at work and with kids that haven't had time to stress. I'll be getting ready to go in this time tomorrow. I feel pretty safe about the surgery but worried about the recovery. Last night my 4yr old kept jumping on me, poking me and running into me to get a hug. Hope she can hold back a bit when she sees mummy's got a big boo-boo.
Last few pre-op pics
I'm feeling like this is a gift to be able to have this done. (Sure costs enough, tee hee)
I'm optimistic today and strangely calm. Less than 24 hrs to go.
I'm saying a grateful farewell to my post-baby body, my tummy skin and abs did a great job stretching out over those two 9lb bouncing babes and my 70lb weight gain each pregnancy. And my breasts were amazing milk producers (I always bragged I was a great cow!) so thank you body.
Last post before the big deed
6 Feb 2014
Day of treatment
So it's just after 6 am, I only slept 5hrs and I'm feeling pretty tired, which is a good thing as I'm too tired to feel high strung and anxious. My teeny bag is packed with toothbrush,paste and floss, iPhone, head phones (in case I wanna listen to a podcast or something) and ear plugs. I'm staying over night and that's all I got. They ordered the compression garments for me so I'm just wearing some sweat pants, and long sleeve t-shirt.
I'm trying to stay calm. I think of all the things I could do that would challenge and scare me- sky-diving, bungee jumping etc. But with this I'm scared and challenged but for me this has more gain. It's not for the faint of heart- that's for sure. Anyway- signing off, my surgery is under 2 hrs and gotta go!
post op day 2
Well i woke up from anesthesia just glad to be alive. My pain has been less than expected, nausea and vom and sheer fatigue more than expected. yesterday was watch tv for 20mins and sleep for 2 hours and repeat.
Also i had no appetite and threw-up as late as yesterday evening, but this am i feel like i am going to be able to start eating a bit. My body is doing a massive repair job so need to give it some building blocks.
Post op day 3
Still feeling like recovery is going better than I expected. Did a poop yesterday and today without any things to get me going. Must be my mostly vegan, raw food diet paying off :)
Sleeping not to bad and enjoying vegging and watching Olympics, getting up to get food and then back to TV.
I'm just glad I can eat, for 2 days I really couldn't eat- which I don't think I've ever experienced in my life b4! Anyway it worried me a bit.
I'm not going to post any pics until bandages off- can't see anything anyways.
Post-op day 4
Woke up this am and feeling remarkably good. My energy level has gone way up eg I can make kids a light brekie. I can stand more upright and my abdominal skin feels like it's glueing itself back onto my muscles. Boobs haven't been that sore at all. At this rate I am feeling confident that I'll be ok to go back to work in 14 days. PS called last night to check in which I thought was good follow-up care and thoughtful. He said I can either get my drains out tomorrow or Thursday. They aren't bothering me that much but my kids think they are supergross.
Today I might attempt a sponge bath. Gotta say I am pretty impressed at my body's ability to repair itself.
After all that my back is starting to hurt and I might take a nap.
Did take a photo as dressing half fell off during sponge bath.
Post op day 7
Feeling great, actually went to work for a few hours today just to keep on top of stuff.
Saw my PS today, really happy with his work. Took out drains and off with bandages.
My pain is negligible and don't need any pain control anymore. My incisions look great. I highly recommend his work. But the photos speak for themselves.
This has been well worth it for basically being a bit ill for 1 week.
Still getting the hang of my compression garments.
Postop day 10
Finally getting the hang of compression garments. Luckily my incisions aren't weeping at all so I don't need to try and position any pads under the garments which is next to impossible.
I gotta say I didn't really understand the tissue swelling thing and for some reason didn't think it would happen to me but yesterday- wow!
I went out for dinner and it was like there was an inch or more thick block of flesh around my tummy. I had compression garments on but it was solid feeling. Swelling definitely down in the am but yeah, totally get the need for those cg's.
Because only have 1 set, I have my system down now- put cg's in quick wash- have my shower and then put cg's in drier-delicate for 15 mins. So only out of them less than 1hr. I'm starting to get more used to them, also they are less tight on breasts and abdo as swelling going down.
I took a photo with underwear on and scar suddenly seemed higher than I wanted but made myself feel better by looking at pictures of scars after 2 years. They really do fade a lot. And least it's going to be nice a symmetrical looking.
2 weeks to the day
Today is 1st day I did my hair and put on make-up. Abdo swelling is still the main issue, but seems to be getting better. I go back to work next week and think I'll lie flat on floor for a bit at lunch so that will help with swelling.
I've been going into work half-time this week, so at least next week I won't be swamped.
Overall I'm very happy with how quickly I'm healing. Couldn't have asked for it to go any better. I'm
so grateful I didn't have any complications like infections, seroma's, hematoma's etc.
Still not seeing the full results but as usual so busy- the weeks fly by so I can handle being patient.
Swell hell and PMS
Had my PMS day yesterday, survived that with my usual cocktail. I always retain fluid and bloat up a bit, so have to take that into account.
This am decided to do some evaluations. Swelling lot better in am so decided to see what I look like in bikini bottoms etc.
Gotta say I'm not as happy as I would've hoped. The scar is up a lot higher than I like. I always used to suit bikini bottoms that sit low in my hips but gonna have to re think that. The other thing is my hips- the actual bony bits, have always been quite wide and jut out. My waist is much smaller now but I've got a funny squareness to my pelvis now. Oh well, these are the things no-one else notices. I'm sure I can find a bikini bottom that works. I'm very happy with my BA. I put on my hot yoga top and it still fits. I don't think I'm going to need to buy too much new stuff. I'm not that much bigger but much more perkier.
Still healing up well, and my clothes fit nicely on the waist where they were tight before.
Postop wk 3
Well 1st full week back at work went fine. Energy level ok, main issue is swelling. Really picks up by end of the day. Did manage to fit into a pair of jeans this am. (I certainly don't feel any thinner these days with all the swelling!)
I found myself obsessing a bit and feeling unhappy with how things look at the moment but decided not to look at myself too much and wait until swelling goes down- I'm thinking 3-4 months maybe.
Shopping for swimsuits to cover the scar
I managed to find a few that cover scar and look ok. Thank goodness that high waisted fashion is in. I'm not sure if I made the right decision re TT. I really miss wearing lower cut bikini bottoms but maybe in a year the scar will fade enough that I can? I just don't know.
I'm feeling really down about my TT scar. I have been looking at pics online and don't think my scar needed to be so high. I feel I should have done a better job discussing scar placement and wore a swimsuit in office. But it's not just swim gear, it's underwear too. I feel I had lots if loose skin to work with and I just don't understand why the scar couldn't have been place much lower.
I'm having a good recovery for which I am grateful. I am feeling this dissatisfaction is some kind of payback for being so vain to have it done in 1st place- argh!
Post op week 4
As people promised swelling continuing to improve, hard to be patient though. I am thinking my scar should fade a lot as now scabs falling off its less noticeable up on the hips where I was despairing that it was so high. Anyway- just getting on with life. Now I'm back at work life whizzing along which makes it easier to manage my own impatience.
Post op week 5
People are really right, swelling seems to go down quite a bit week 5. I'm starting to use silicon scar strips, scar away, bought on amazon for $30 I think. They really work.
6 weeks post
Everything settling down but also too busy to be able to pay much attention to it all.
9 months later
29 Nov 2014
9 months post
Scars are much more settled, can just about get away with a high cut bikini. Starting to be happier and happier I did it as the scars fade more and more.
2 .5 years out
Well over 2 years out I'm a bit disappointed. I had a revision for my left breast just under 1 year as it was terribly asymmetrical with uneven nipples (line from right -left breast).
That was annoying as I had a new scar to wait years until it whitened.
But they are still quite assymetric. It's like the left implant isn't fully stable under the left pectoral. I've been sleeping in underwire bras for years now hoping it will scar in, but it still feels like it slips to side lying down. I can feel left implant (but not right) move when I do push-ups. And it's concave under my left armpit compared to the curve under my right arm pit.
TT scar 2.5 years out
It would have been awesome if could have got it 1 or 2 inches lower-scar is nice and white now but still have to wear higher waist bikini bottoms