Recent pictures of me with my implants
I hope I can get these pictures loaded. Computers and I clash sometimes,
I have now gotten the results of my MRI. The MRI itself is nothing to be worried about. It is a little tough to stay still for 30, 35 minutes, but you are laying down on your front [so that isn't too taxing], but I did find it a bit difficult to have my arms over my head for that long, however they did let me adjust my arms when they cramped up. I received a copy of the MRI and attempted to read it on my own, my advice in retrospect, don't do it. I made all kinds of assumptions, as a result when I got the Dr's results it was a bit of a shock. Both implants are ruptured, they are leaking outside of the capsules, the left breast is very bad, with the silicone invading my Lymph nodes. I had been trying to remain hopeful , although I knew they were/are very old. I had a really good cry that night, just the thought of all this poison roaming throughout my chest [at least] was enough to make me feel physically ill. I now have a referral to a surgeon. I do not have an appointment yet, but I have spoken to her receptionist and she said appointments are booking in late February. After they receive the MSP [Canadian medical insurance] approval, the operations are booking in April . That news did help a bit, 3 months to wait is not too bad, I made an appointment with a PS and that booking is in September! So the public health care is actually faster! Wow. I'll post a couple of pics of the MRI, but like I said the left is worse than the right, but in the pics it looks like the right is worse, go figure. Oh and an update on my FD, the first DR didn't believe that Silicone leakage is affecting my health, well her partner is the same! She doesn't even believe in Lyme's disease! I will need my FD to work with me to help me detox etc. So now I'm on the hunt for a new Family Doctor, and in Canada that is not so easy. I'll update after I see the Surgeon.
I met with the surgeon
Hi ladies, Finally I am posting an update to my story. I am in Canada and our medical system, public, is rather stressed, with many long waiting lists, especially for specialists. The "plan' will remove Silicone implants at no cost to me, if the patient is ill, but we must still send in an application before the surgery can be booked. I met with a general surgeon on March 2/15. She was very nice and had a great sense of humor too. I was immediately quite comfortable with her. She claims that she has seen worse chests than mine and says it will only be a 1-2hr at most surgery! OK, so after thinking about it, I am really concerned, most of the stories here with women whose situation is similar to mine [ ruptured, very old silicone, under muscle implants], surgery's take longer than that. I did confirm with her about the "en bloc" removal, but just as we got to talking about things like glomerations of silicone, we get a call from her receptionist telling her she has gone overtime on the appointment, rats. I did ask her about my lymph nodes and all she said was that they are there for a reason? but nothing about if they are saturated with silicone? So I am concerned, because I have trusted my doctors in the past, and now I feel rather like my trust was betrayed by them. Now that I need to put my trust in this [very nice] women I can't seem to be Ok without getting more of my questions answered. So today I called, to see if my application was approved and to ask for a way to discuss a few of my mixed concerns. After waiting thru three call transfers, the receptionist remembers me [good] but tells me that me application went in a week late! due to some clerical error thing! Darn again! I am so sick and actually rather depressed about this whole thing that I just about started to cry [ I hate that] and before I could compose myself to ask my questions, she hung up! So now what do I do? call back? One other thing I should mention. After the surgeons appointment I decided to have another look at my Breast MRI. So as it turns out I did not do such a bad job of reading it after all, I just confused the right and left. So in my MRI pics that I put in RS, show the left ruptured implant that has moved outside [ yuk] of the scar capsule. When the surgeon touched my breasts in those locations, they were very tender. It just made me want to get these things out of me even more. Oh and finally, just to make this more confusing, if I pay a plastic Surgeon in the private system I may be able to bet it done faster. Money is always an issue, but after so many years of being sick, I really do know what is more important and I know for sure isn't money! So now I see a small "light at the end of the tunnel" it is so hard to wait. Of course there is no guarantee that if I pay a PS that they would do any better of a job than the general surgeon. In reality the are both challenged by OR time, the PS has to pay for it and the public surgeon only gets so much of it! Where do you go? I am open to any suggestions. Cheers to you all.
Surgery date June 2
Hi all. I finally have a date for the explant surgery. YEAH! On one hand I am thrilled, on the other, it seems so far away. I sent a list of questions to the surgeon and she answered them all. Just not the answers that I had hoped for. As a general surgeon, she will be removing the implants and the capsules [en bloc] and any residual silicone, placing drains and sewing me up. That's it, none of the stuff a PS might do to help the aesthetic's. So, of course my primary goal is to get these Silicone bags out of me, but I do still care about what I will look like after. I guess I am having a hard time trusting, she seems very nice, comes highly recommended, but so did the PS that put theses toxic bags in me. I am second guessing this surgeon, but to go elsewhere will take more time and more money for sure. Also there is no guarantee that I will be any happier with their results, than with Dr. Kuusk. I do have to admit she had to be the nicest specialist that I have ever met. So to try and occupy my mind, I might do a few little projects around the house. I think distraction is the key here and maybe just a little bit of faith too.
Surgery is done. I'm Free!
Hello Ladies, Well yesterday was the big day. The surgery was at 6:30am at a hospital day surgery centre. The surgery went 2 1/2 hours, about twice as long as she had first quoted. Apparently she had a bit of a hard time getting at all the silicone that was embedded in my breast tissue! The left breast where both the implant and the capsule were ruptured [seen in the MRI] was the most problematic. I was in quite a bit of pain right after the surgery and the trip home was no fun. So make sure that the doctors provide adequate pain relief for the ride home or if that ride is long, maybe consider staying nearby where you are being treated. I really needed help that first night, my pain had gotten out of control on the ride home and it never really settled down till just before bedtime. So, if you can, try to have someone stay with you the first night, you may need it. I feel a lot better today, although I still need pain medication, I am managing much better than yesterday. I was so out of it yesterday that even when I realized that there was no bandaging after the surgery, I didn't look. Now at home and wrapped in a tensor I am kinda reluctant to look , may be a little frightened about what I'll find. Anyway I need some medical tape so that I can re-wrap once I take the tensors off. Sending the hubby off to the store, again.
Thanks to you wonderful ladies who have contributed to Real Self, I have seen it all, so I really don't know what to expect. I guess it will be a surprise?! Hopefully a happy one. No matter what I look like, I am soooooo relieved to have those 35+ dangerous chemicals out of my body, yeah! I am posting a pic the day before the explant as my weight had changed a bit. Tomorrow I will post the reveal. Hugs and best wishes to you all
Having a look, after the surgery
Hi Ladies, I am improving a bit each day, but still taking a nap some where in there and really just resting most of the time. I am very grateful for my husband who has really waited on me hand and foot. I am still using pain medication, but I am a chronic pain patient and may take pain meds for the rest of my life, sadly. The IC, Interstitial Cystitis, ?as flared up rather badly , it is not a great surprise as the surgeon Disrupted two chemical laden bags and all that leftover soup is finding its way out, lots of it thru my poor bladder. I am remaining hopeful that my health will improve once I am Detoxed.
Well here are the pics, It looks like I have more than I really do, a comment that is not uncommon in RS. The upper pole is not flat, it is convex! with right looking worse than the left, but really I think about the same. My armpits and upper pole are still quiet sore, as is the incision site where the drainage tube is in. I will be getting the tubes out on Monday, with the surgeon. I could have gotten them out earlier but I still had quiet a bit of discharge and I didn t want to develop a Sernoma. I am really afraid of large needles being stuck in my breast. I know that the look and feel of my breasts will change over the next while and I hope they settle and fluff a bit, but if it never happens I am content, because now I am just me. Nothing fake, just me and that is just good enough! Perhaps because I am married, or because I am more mature I just do not feel like I need implants feel feminine or beautiful. Thanks again to you all, your support gave me courage and I am grateful. J
Day 7 pictures, and thoughts
Hi ladies, Well it has been a week and I am surprised at how challenging this recovery has been. I had read many reviews and on the whole many had said their recovery was relatively quick. Not so for me, I am still taking pain medication [in excess of my regular pain med.] and the soreness is still very much there. My activities are still very restricted, I still haven't driven and I can't imagine having to go to work this week. Perhaps this is because I am already a chronic pain patient and rather ill to begin with, or because the Silicone implants were so old that the surgeon had a hell of a time getting me cleaned up,I don't know. But just a heads up the recovery could be rather challenging or not, depending on the extent of your surgery and the type and position of the implants being removed. When I saw the surgeon on Monday to have the drainage tubes removed, she forwarded the pictures of my removed capsules and implants, very nasty, but I'll include it for info sake. She was surprised that the breast on the right side looked a bit rougher with the dimple and all because the left was the one where the rupture was fully outside of the capsule . The right although ruptured was still contained in the scar capsule? They were both firmly attached to my chest wall and parts of my breast tissue came out with them, yuk. Bye the way, removing those drainage tubes was painful and a little messy, so don't wear good clothes and make sure you are up on your pain meds before you get to the doctor. Also make sure that you get a supportive bra top or something as the tensor will drive you nuts after a bit and depending where your incisions are you may need something with a band that is around the rib cage rather than under the bust. I got the wrong thing and a few days after the surgery with tubes in, is not a good time to go shopping, All in all, I am still very grateful that they look as good as they do and maybe the fluff fairy will visit in the future. I have noticed a change already. Wishing you all, the best.
My husband said my new REAL breasts look better than with the implants in!!
That is so nice. I just want to cry. He could not have said anything better. 10 days after such a big surgery, both mentally and physically, and he helped me get over the biggest hurdle [at least for me]. The hurdle being "will my spouse still find me attractive" and he does! Yeah! I know it is not the biggest deal in the whole life process, but at this time, it meant a lot. He is a great guy. I am lucky. I hope you are all lucky too. Thank you all so much, the support I have received here has been amazing. Wishing you all the best in your lives. Big Hugs J
Update, and thanks to all of you!
Hi all, sorry it has been awhile since I've updated my review. This surgery was the best decision I have ever made. I feel so much more healthy since removing those toxic implants. Most of my symptoms are gone, with the exception of the Interstitial cystitis which is still symptomatic, but less painful, YEAH! I am glad of that! Perhaps removing those 35+ chemicals from my body has helped my poor damaged bladder. I'll just have to see how that all goes, but any improvement is welcome, of course.
So, my brain fog has lifted so much!, my joints don't ache, my fatigue has lessened greatly. I have yet to implement a detox program, as I first had to remove some rather old dental fillings. Once that is done [just one appointment left] I can start working on getting my system cleaned up.
A couple of things have happened since I planned the surgery, First I did not like the way my picture looked when I posted it on the website. I was too heavy, I was worried that without breasts, my rolls would overpower me. So I decided to lose weight. Thinking that any weight I lost would also contain some of the poisons in my body, so I thought that would be good too. I am down to 136lbs, and I feel a lot better about myself. It also matches my new small breasts which I am very grateful to have.
One of the main reasons that I have not been updating my reviews is that I had a loss in my family and it hit me hard. I have been working hard at overcoming the grief at the loss of my dog. He was my companion for 10 years. I had been so ill and he was always there for me. He was a crazy active and very healthy 15 or so years old. He had an accident and had broken his femur in the hip socket! We did what was right, but oh, it was tough. I still cry when I talk or think about it.
So I have had great joy and great sorrow. I am so grateful for the improvement in my health, and every day I thank all of you for your support, your reviews and pictures, all of it! But the loss of my "Buddy" has put a bit of sadness in my life too. So I will post a few pictures, and once I get started on my Detox I will update further. All the best to you all, With Thanks and Hugs J
3 1/2 months post surgery pictures
Finally I am posting these post operative pictures. June 2, 2015 was my surgery date so now 3 plus months later I do look a bit different. All the residual swelling is gone and I think this will be pretty much how it stays but I guess you never know for sure what may happen. If I bend forward without a bra or cami it feels like my breast are separating from my chest, weird. I assume it is because that cavity that the implants were in, has yet to fully heal. It has felt somewhat better over time and I hope that it continues to get better. It seems silly to wear a bra all the time, but it is uncomfortable if I don't. I have a bit of asymmetry but it doesn't really bother me, I think I may have had that before the surgery anyway. I have 2 rather large scars about 2 and a half inches each and a couple of small spots where the drainage tubes were placed. They will fade with time. Overall I am really happy and my health is so much improved!!! I could go on and on about that! Speaking of bras, I need to go looking for more, currently I use 2 cami bras for sleeping and I got 2 [no underwire] a couple of months ago, but they are getting a lot of use and are starting to look a bit bedraggled. Any suggestions of bras that work for us would be welcome, with no upper pole, I find that some sort of padding in the lower half of the bra helps to "lift" things a bit. I am a bit self conscious of there being a gap at the top of the bra and a nice wide side panel to hold in the under the arm stuff would be great too.
On the whole I am really happy about the whole surgery and aside from a few small concerns it was the best decision I've made in years. I am very pleased with my outcome and I have so many fears! My wish for all of you is that you feel well and healthy and that whatever decision you decide to go with works for you. Health and hugs Janette
I year after surgery and I'm thrilled with the outcome!
Hi there, well it has been just over a year since my explant surgery. I am updating my post. My health is so much improved, it is amazing! I am beyond happy! It has been a year of recovery too. I was so very ill, my life more or less spent on the couch and now I walk the dog every day, long walks that are good for the body and soul. Before the surgery, my walks were painful, slow but still rather essential for my soul. I feel like a fog has lifted and everything is brighter, the greens are greener, the birds songs now louder? I am completely off the Codine pain remover that I had been dependent on for 11 years!!!! I am so much more mobile as my Interstitial cystitis is no longer as painful as it was, thus making car travel easier. I no longer feel like my breasts will separate from my,chest and I do think that was just healing the pocket where the implants had been. My breasts look a little different but not much. I love how they look and feel, oh, they aren't perfect but whose are? and now they are mine and I love that. The whole decision to remove the implants was critical to my health improving. I believe if left in [the implants] eventually I would have died, I had so little to live for. Now I have my life back and I am so thankful.
I hope you all feel as good as I do after your explant surgery. Health and healing JSR pics to come