I Can't Wait to Get Rid of These Water Balloons Under my Skin - Utah, UT

I am 43, 5'7", 120 lbs. After having four children and breast feeding I was a 32A. For many years I was ok with my small boobies, but after a divorce, negative feedback from boyfriends and even rude comments from "friends" I decided to get implants when I was 30. I had 400cc saline implants under the muscle. I went from a 32A to a 32D. My husband loves them, I have never liked them. I always thought they looked fake, but would wear clothing that shows them off as my husband seems to enjoy it when my boobs are the focus of attention. He says he will be fine with me going back to smaller boobs, I guess only time will tell. I know he loves me and I love him. I accept him balding, having grey hair and a gut, so he can accept my real boobies. :) We started dating before I had implants. We have been together for over 14 years.

After seeing two PS, they both suggested deflation prior to explant. The reason why is time for the skin to contract and hopefully avoid a breast lift. My boobies will be so small, 32A I am sure, that I don't understand the need for a lift. What's there to lift? But, I understand that after 13 years of being 32D, there will be sagging and concave, dents going on. I weigh almost the same as when I had the implants so i doubt highly my real boobies have grown. Any weight I gain goes to my straight to my butt. Baby got back!

I am afraid of looking like a deformed circus freak. I am fine with little boobs again, but not sagging and nipples pointing to the floor. I hope for the best and will keep this updated in order to help women out there like me. I've had a hard time finding photos of going from a 32D back to a 32A without a breast lift. Most women seem to replace their implants and/or get a lift. I don't want scars on my little boobs. I'm hoping to not need a lift. I will post photos after deflation and then after explant. Anything I can do to help ladies like me out there considering explant.

I feel humiliated and embarrased that I did this to myself. I want all this to be over.

My final thought is this, ladies, love your real body. Don't let anybodys negative opinion or rude comments make you get implants. I found that men giving me attention for my fake boobs, made me feel more insecure. They were staring at me for something that wasn't even me! Over the last 13 years I have grown to love myself. I am a Nana with two adorable grandbabies, I have a successful business, I don't need big fake boobs to be confident.