38 Yrs Old, 2 Kids (C-sections), Always Embarrassed of my Tummy

I'm like many of you on here; finished with pregnancies, work out consistently, eat well, generally feel good about myself…except for my tummy. I've never had a flat stomach. Sure, when I was 16 years old and under 120 pounds it was flatter, but not flat. The women in my family just don't. Our midriffs are a problem. Couple that with two pregnancies which stretched my skin beyond repair, and now I'm always aware of the extra weight around my middle. It is not uncommon for someone to assume I'm pregnant.

My stats:
just turned 38
5'6
142 pounds
32 D (natural…thanks mom! - although they could use a little lift. Maybe another time!)

I feel better at 38 than I did in my 20's. Before I ever got pregnant with my first, my weight was 160. At my highest weight, 9 months pregnant, I was 198. After having my second son, I was weighing in around 150-154. I made a conscience lift style change for the better. Started working out wisely, eating well and focusing on whole foods, and cutting out all the junk (as much as I could. I'm not hardcore!). For the past couple of years I've maintained a weight between 138-142. It seems to just be where my body wants to be and I'm ok with that. Sure, I'd love to see something in the low 130's, but I'm learning it's not what's on the scale that matters. I'm strong, have more endurance than ever, and feel "in shape." I'm active with my two boys, ages 12 and 9. I homeschool them as well.

About 5 years ago I went for a consult for a TT. The price quoted for a tuck and a little lipo was nearly $14,000. Way more than I wanted to pay. I also didn't have a good feeling about the doctor. I just couldn't stomach spending that much money on myself. I walked away from the idea, determined to just be content with my body and enjoy life. And even though I am content and thankful for my body I daily hate seeing the belly rolls and "thickness" of my tummy. It's beyond "pinching an inch" here and there; I'm grabbing handfuls of rolls!

After talking with a friend who just had a TT done and lurking around on this site for days, I decided to bite the bullet again and go for a consult at a different facility. I called and they took me in the next day! Whew! It feels like a whirlwind to go from not thinking about doing it for years to "let's do this ASAP!" Timing is everything for me and with a somewhat busy schedule and traveling planned, I'm set to have my TT on 6/2/2014. My husband has a window of time where he will be home a little more for the first few weeks and can hopefully help me through.

After my consult yesterday, I feel excited and nervous. I'm starting to see that a TT is not as big of a deal as I had made it out to be. I've been told that if I did well with my two c-secion recoveries I'll do fine with this. I'm anticipating the pain, the swelling, the frustration of not being able to do more for the first few weeks, and the emotional regret in the first couple of weeks. That seems to be a common thread with the stories on here. But I'm ready to push through and looking forward to next summer. It's a bummer having the TT at the beginning of the summer. I'm not looking forward to wearing a binder in the heat and humidity of an Atlanta summer. But if it's to happen this year now is the best time.

My biggest concerns are:
1. We have a pool…how soon can I spend a couple of hours poolside in a bathing suit (no binder!) and maybe even take a dip?
2. Will I be good to go to the beach at 7-8 weeks post op? It's also a 6 hour drive.
3. constipation…how bad, really? That's not a problem I have usually and I'm wondering what the best ways to avoid that are.
4. sleeping…I'm a side/back sleeper. Don't have a recliner. I need my bed!
5. How soon can I really be back to driving and get out with my kids.
6. Swelling….so dreading this phase. It seems to last long? When will I be able to fit back into my regular jeans, shorts, etc? Even when the swelling is at it's worst, will I still feel better in my clothes than before the TT?
7. Activity…I enjoy working out. How soon realistically? And what about taking family bike rides or hiking? My son is upset that I may not be able to ride roller coasters with him this summer. :)

I know week 1 will be spent mostly off my feet, taking it very easy and letting others help me. At week 2 I'd like to be able to get out just a bit. Maybe the grocery? Taking my kids out? At week 3 my kids are going away to camp, so I anticipate I'll have a week to really stay off my feet and rest, hoping that by day 20 PO I can pick my boys up from camp and be somewhat back to normal activity level.

I feel I'm also realistic with my expectations. I know I won't suddenly have a six pack or go down in pants size. I'm ok with that. I just want to look better in what I have! It will be a different summer for us. We usually GO, GO, GO and I'm thinking we may not be able to do that as much. I'd love to hear some realistic insights from someone with a similar lifestyle and how soon they were able to be out and active with their kids.

First thing in the morning at my flattest.

So I had a day yesterday where I was feeling good about myself. Got a good workout in the morning, and spent the rest of the morning running errands in my cute little Athleta workout capris…actually feeling "light" and questioning if I really needed a TT. I was having one of those "flatter" feeling days, like my stomach wasn't that big of a deal.
Since it was in the 80's and humid, I decided to sit by the pool with my son. And then I put on a swimsuit…and quickly remembered why I'm having a TT. Yep…it's needed. The rolls are hard to hide in swim ware. And while I may not look awesome this summer in a swimsuit (swell hell I'm sure), I'm hoping next summer will be a big improvement.
I needed this little reminder as the anxiety and nerves have hit. I have over a month to go before the surgery and I'm already having trouble sleeping at night and feeling nervous all day. I'm determined, though. I can do this!