You have given me such HOPE! I've...
You have given me such HOPE! I've varied between Hating/Disliking/Feeling Embarrassed and Having Pain with regard to these implants since the day I got them in. I had such pretty little A cup breasts. It was so sad to hurt them in that way. :(
Now that I'm past menopause, they look enormous. When I see photos of myself, it is so obvious I have implants. Plus, my left one has cc and causes me pain around the nipple, the breast itself and even my armpit and upper arm. I accepted this for so long becuae I didn't want to "go under the knife" to have them removed. Also, I was afraid of what they would look like. But after finding this site, I now have courage! I've talked to my husband and he is very supportive. Yay!
Can anyone suggest an excellent surgeon in the NW suburbs of Chicago? I could also go to the city if need be.
My other big concern is what to tell my kids, who are 14 (a daughter) and 19 (a son). My daughter will most likely have small breasts, it looks like. And I don't want her to ever do what I did. She already feels sad that hers are so small compared to her friends' breasts. Any advice? I would tell her but I'm afraid she may not be mature enough yet to keep my dirty little secret! I could tell my son. He is very mature and I think he might even be a support to me emotionally. Only one friend knows I have implants, but I bet everyone else in my life is guessing I do since they don't sag at age 54!
Thanks to you wonderful ladies for opening my heart and mind to this adventure. I can't wait to be the real me again!!! Eventuall I'll get some photos on here. But I have to be alone in the house to do so and that's been rare lately!
Booked a Date!!!
Hello ladies. I feel like you are good friends at this point! I am so grateful for all of you. I booked surgery with Dr. Feng for May 20th. I'm so excited! I will have to travel and stay in a hotel. I pray my hubbie can go with me but if not, they will provide me with an overnight nurse for the first night after surgery. I may even heal better while away because at home I'd be tempted to do things around the house and take care of my family. So please keep me in your prayers. Thank you so much! I'm working on getting photos on here.
I Told My Teenage Daughter and Now I'm Getting More Excited About My Explant!
Well, I wanted to update you on my decision to tell my kids. I was very anxious about this but nontheless, I've told my 14 y.o. daughter. She handled it beautifully! She told me she was surprised I'd do something like that (getting implants), given who I am and my values in life. I told her I always wondered what it would be like to have bigger breasts and wanted to know what it felt like. What a big mistake, one that lasted for 27 years! Also, she had thought my breasts were fully my own and was hoping she'd grow to my size. So that news was a bit sad for her. But I've been telling her how easy it was to have small breasts and how much I've missed them all these years. I think this will help her accept her own body in the long run. I sure hope it does.
Bra Shopping Is So Difficult
So today I spent about 5 hours on line looking at post-surgical and sports bras. What a job! Not knowing what size I'll be, it's a guessing game. My surgeon's office suggested a Victoria Secret bra called "Knockout". But that one has underwire. So, good old Amazon, with free shipping both ways, came to the rescue. I bought a bunch and I'll return what doesn't work. Thank goodness for the internet! I'll let you all know if any are awesome. I can't find the front closure Danskin Now anywhere. I think it's no longer available.
I'm Getting So Nervous as My Explant Approaches.....
Two weeks from tomorrow I leave for Cleveland. I'll have to stay for at least 10 days, most likely. Packing and anticipating items I'll need while recuperating is quite difficult. I don'y know what to expect! The drains could stay in up to 2 weeks, which is very daunting to think about. I hope it's 3 days and I'm done! But anyway, please pray for me. I'm getting so anxious about the whole thing.
This week I'll have to tell my 19 y.o. son and that makes me cry every time I think about it. I'm sure he'll be fine with it but it's just so darned awkward! And the eating healthy is also a bit overwheming. I usually eat quite well but not superduper healthy. Perhaps I'm just putting way too much pressure on myself, I don't know. Any advice from you lovely ladies??
I told My 19 Y.O. Son!
Well, another hurdle is behind me. Thank God! I told my son and he was great about it. He did not judge me in any way. He doesn't feel breasts are that important. .. "they are just pieces of skin, really". He said when he was younger he thought about breasts more but not since he's become more mature (!). So, my beloved son now knows my shameful secret. This is getting more real every day and things are falling more into place each day. The Holy Spirit is truly helping me to rise to this occasion!!!
My Friend Will Stay with Me ... Thank God for Good Friends and Family!
So my oldest friend kept offering to meet me in Cleveland and stay with me while I recuperate. I felt it was too much to ask so I kept saying no. Well, my husband is so very stressed at work and we have the 2 kids here at home so I finally talked him into allowing my friend to help me instead of him. I booked her flight to Cleveland yesterday (she lives on the east coast) and I pray this all works out! There's nothing quite like a true childhood friend....
Surgery 2.5 Days Away! I'm Getting these Toxic 27 Year Old Things Out of Me
I want to thank all of you for your inspiration and support. Being able to learn from and talk with some of you is what gave me the courage to explant. I am truly grateful to all of you brave women. Tomorrow I leave for Cleveland and Tuesday I have my pre-op testing. Wednesday is the big day! I am excited but also very anxious. Please keep me in your prayers! I will only have my phone so I don't know if I'll be able to upload photos or even update my profile much. We'll see. But I will eventually let everyone know how this 54 year old woman (with 27 year old silicone "under muscle" implants) comes out of this surgery. This takes a lot of courage!!! God bless you all. xxx and soft hugs:)
Surgery is Today!
All went well with Dr. Kahn. Right is ruptured but still within the capsule. Left doesn't look to be ruptured. Dr. Feng is wonderfyl. I'm nervous! My friend got to Ohio very late last night. Thank God she got here. Now it's off to the races! Thank you, Lord, for all my blessings, one of which is this forum and you lovely ladies.
One Day Post Surgery
All went well. The drains are ok, a bit of a nuisance. I'm very sore and tired today. Taking only Celebrex, Tylenol, Bromalien and Arnica. the Feng food is delicious! Dr. Feng is a true class act. Warm, caring, smart and professional. I'm so glad I chose her as my surgeon. I'll try to attach operating room photos.
Four Days Post Surgery
Hi Ladies. My drains are still in, I think maybe because I forgot to compress the bulbs the first 2 days. Fluid was draining but not at the speed/quantity that could've been achieved if the bulbs had been compressed. The folding of the bulbs helps to suck the fluid out of our poor breast cavities.
I'm doing all right, thanks to my dear friend. It would have been tough to be alone. Just pulling up my pants the first 2 days and getting on my blouse even now is difficult. We aren't supposed to use our pectorals....
I have difficulty with constipation, unfortunately. I've only taken Celebrex, no narcotics. Oh well. I haven't seen my breasts yet. They are still wrapped tight!
Thank you all for your support.
My cc's were 225, silicone, under muscle. Thank God for Dr. Feng. She is so caring. She cares about me as a person, not just my breazts.
Back Home and Happy/ 12 Days Post-Op
First of all, thank you to everyone who has been so kind and encouraging. I never would have had the courage to do this without you guys! I love the way I look now. I look slimmer, that's for sure. And it feels so nice to have those toxic things out of me. Dr. Feng told me just one more mammogram and she believes they would have ruptured OUTSIDE the capsule. Yikes! God was nudging me to find RS...thank you, Lord.
I got home 4 days ago and it's been a whirlwind of activity. By the way, opening and closing the car door is very tough on the pectorals. Be wary of this. Anyway, just getting back in the swing of things is a bit taxing. My hubby came grocery shopping with me and he did the laundry this weekend. He missed me a lot. It's good to remind these men what life would be like without us once in awhile! But I do think I've been using my left arm and therefore, pectorals, too much. I am very sore in the left breast. I may call the nurse at Dr. Feng's about this if it persists.
I've taken 2 showers since being home but it's tough to rewrap with the ace bandage. I never seem to get it just right, like nurse Megan at Dr. feng's office did. I hope I'm taking care of my wee ones well enough!!! I'll try to post a photo later this week.
The Homewood Suites hotel was wonderful. The staff alone make that place worthwhile.. so courteous and friendly. There is a van you can use to go to Dr. Feng's office. It's only a few minutes away. Breakfast each morning and a light supper Mon.- Thurs. evenings. It felt like my home away from home. And my bed was so comfy! My friend used the pullout sofa, which I thought wasn't supportive at all. She has a good spine so she said it was fine.
I love the Feng fit food. It's low salt and so healthy. We ate a lot of that while we were there. Dr. Feng told me it's not necessary to massage my breasts at all. I was surprised by this. Does anyone have thoughts on this? She told me not to touch them for at least 2 weeks post surgery. Just let them heal, she said.
Day 16 Post Op Photos
Hi ladies, it's great to be implant-free! Clothes fit so much better. I took off all wrapping except the sterile strips over the scars. These must fall off on their own. Full showers are a gift from Heaven. I'm wearing the Carefix brand post op bras I got from Amazon. I insert into their open slots mineral oil bra pads I got at a JC Penny store before my surgery. These seem to support me well. Occassionally, I wear the ace wrap to give my breasts good, firm support.
I feel good, thank God. Overall soreness is reducing each day as long as i dont overdo it. Eventually, i will begin light chest exercises. I have an indent above tops of breasts because, after 27 years, my pectorals somewhat atrophied. I will try to strengthen them slowly. I am grateful to you all for your friendship and support!
Post Surgery Day 24 and My Steri-Strips Won't Fall Off!
Things are going well. I do have soreness in my left breast sometimes but usually only when I over do a movement. For example, yesterday I was putting on a cardigan and quickly moved that arm and my breast still hurts today a bit. I've got to remember that healing goes on for at least 6 months....
But I really want to remove the steri strips covering my scars. The doctor's office said to let them fall off on their own. Does anyone have any advice?? I haven't started massaging yet either and I'm thinking I should start....
I definitely have a fold in my right breast but it's not very big. I am blessed that things turned out so well for me after 27 years! My size has gone down but that's fine, I don't care. I absolutely LOVE my natural little breasts! I'll post a picture soon, I promise!
Hugs to all you wonderful, brave, supportive women:) Dove
Day 29 Post Surgery and Doing Fine
Well, my steri strips still haven't fallen off. I finally spoke to my surgeon and she said to pull them off gently. I will do so tomorrow morning (although I'm nervous about it!). I will try to take a photo then too.
I feel good, in general. My breasts are still sore internally and one is itchy on the outside. I think the internal pain is due to healing. My pathology report showed moderate to marked inflammation in both breasts (both were ruptured) but no signs of cancerous cells, thank God. The doctor could prescribe a compounded cream for my breast pain but I'm going to wait and see if I truly need it. She told me to clean the scars twice a day with rubbing alcohol and then to apply a scar cream and massage the scars a bit. I'll start all that tomorrow.
The doctor said I could begin mild chest exercises. That sounds scary to me! My chiropractor adjusted my ribs above my breasts and it helped with pectoral pain I was feeling near my armpits. I believe in gentle chiropractic care. She really helped me by loosening my tight ribcage, back and upper chest area. I've been walking and can even swing my arms a bit now. Yay!!!
I tried about 12 bras on a few days ago and had zero luck. The only one I liked even a little was a very soft, comforting nursing bra. Oh well. I hope this gets better over time. Once my scars are healed I'm sure bras will become more comfy.... So, I'm still wearing my surgical bras, which are quite comfortable. But sometimes I just go braless for a few hours to give them a break. It feels good to have nothing touching the scars!
My energy level is much better. I'm taking magnesium now and I'm sleeping more soundly than I have in many, many years. It's a joy! In 9 days, we are having a party for my daughter who graduated from 8th grade earlier this month. I think I'll be ok to do this. I'm just glad I waited until I'll be over 5 weeks post surgery to have the party.
I miss being on here. All you ladies gave me much needed strength when I truly was desperate for it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! xxoo Dove
Putting Up Some Photos - Day 30 Post-Op
I'm going from my Samsung Phone camera to my email and trying to download onto my MAC computer. It's always a tricky process for me! So here is one photo and I'm working on more.
Post-Op Day 30 Photos and No More Steri Strips!!!
Happy Friday Ladies! I finally removed my steri strips with tweezers, going along very delicately. It was a weird feeling. I'm so glad they are off! On the scars I will use rubbing alcohol and scar cream twice a day from now on. I'm using a scar cream from my local health food store but I may get a different one if I feel this isn't working well.
Here are some photos from this morning. This is a bra liner I bought off Amazon. I can't stand anything touching my scars. I was using large gauze pads but they are visible through many shirts, so I bought this cotton liner. It comes in a package of 3 and it's quite soft. And they are even made in the USA!!! I try to buy USA whenever possible.
I've been sleeping flat on my back with a compression bra for 2 or 3 nights now. It seems like by breasts in general are more sore the past couple of days. Could there be a correlation to the fact that I'm not sleeping on an incline?
One Year Post Explanation and Loving It!
It's been slightly over a year since I had my 27 year old implants out. I feel much, much better. Thank God, and all of you ladies too, for giving me courage!
One breast has a slight indentation but it's fine. I love my soft, little breasts! I wish everyone peace and good health, both physically and emotionally?.