3 weeks PO and I look like a BEFORE picture. P.S. It's not swelling. =(

I can longer feign a positive attitude. My stomach looks awful and keeps getting worse as the swelling goes down. Patience is not going to help.
The good news: Either I didn't have a hematoma or it's already reabsorbed. It's amazing that I'm close to flat. Also, I'm feeling really good. I feel tightness in my abs when I do too much, but it's not bad at all.
The bad news: The skin on my stomach looks like crap. It's really wrinkled now, and looks saggy. I really don't understand. Maybe my skin was just so completely wrecked, with NO elasticity left. It just looks horrible. I can't even look at my stomach without wanting to cry. There is no way I will wear a bikini. There no way I go without a tight tank top under a shirt for fear my skin might show.
UGH. Honestly the muscle repair is fabulous, and I knew that I was not getting rid of the stretchmarks, but I've never seen an after picture that looks as awful as mine.
So sad.

It's PO Day 20, and I saw my PS yesterday. Our new plan for the hematoma is to attempt to drain it next week. He said the blood is the consistency of jelly right now, therefore draining it now would be futile. It needs some time to liquify and it will hopefully be ready by next Thursday. There's certainly a chance that he'll get nothing and we'll have to wait even longer. He said it is extremely rare that he's taken anyone back into surgery to remove a hematoma; they almost always just resolve themselves. I like that we have a plan to attempt to drain it though. It's really not causing any pain, just some pressure here and there.
We also addressed the stretchmarks I am concerned about. He gave me a piece of surgery foam that I'm placing on the area which will flatten out the skin. I have no idea if this is going to work, and I also wonder if I'm perhaps being too critical? He does agree that they do not look ideal, and he thinks they will settle down once more time has passed. I truly hope he is right!
I told him I'm frustrated because right now I can't get excited about my results, and I said I'll be mad if in a few months it doesn't look good. He said, "I'll be mad if it doesn't look good! I'm not happy if you're not happy."
I really appreciate that he said that. I know that the hematoma will resolve either by draining, or just slowly reabsorbing. I'm cautiously optimistic that my stretch marks will relax, and also know that if 6 months/year from now I'm really unhappy, I'll be able to correct it with a second surgery (he doesn't not charge a surgeon's fee for revision), but the thought of another recovery might just allow me to deal with my slightly imperfect skin.
So for now, I'm trying not to think about things, and luckily we have a busy weekend, and next week is packed! It should be enough to distract me from constantly thinking about my stomach!

Today I'm 16 days post op and would love to say I'm doing super well, but I can't! Went to see the PS two days ago to get my stitches out and he said it looks like I've developed a hematoma. I am pretty bruised, which I thought was normal, but when I look at other pictures on here, very few people seem to have the same kind of bruising. I did not have any lipo so the bruising is from the surgery and now the hematoma. He said he does not like to asperate the hematomas and we would just monitor it, because most often the body reabsorbs the blood but it will just take some time. So most of my swelling is located near my incision and is actually just the blood that has pooled and clotted. Ick. I am ok right now with waiting to see if it resolves itself because the thought of going back to surgery to correct this is not at all appealing.
I also brought up my concern about my wrinkling stretch marks, and he completely agree with what I said, although he also said that he pulled me as tight as he could, and he hasn't really seen anyone with stretchmarks above their belly buttons that looked like that. I told him that wasn't very reassuring, and he said that it should be because maybe others did look like that early on in recovery and then by 6 weeks they had flattened out. We also talked about the idea of a revision if I think I need it after I'm healed. He gave me some pads to place on the area and we decided I should wear my spanx more and when I wear my CG I should velcro it in the back, instead of the front which was causing the skin to bunch in toward my belly button.
I'll admit it's very frustrating to be unhappy with my results right now when most people seem to be so excited. I would just like to speed up this whole process up.
This week I went back to work on Wed, which I now realize was too soon. On Monday (Day 10) I really started to do all my regular stuff around the house, minus the extra cleaning. I went to the grocery store, made dinner, cleaned up, took the kids to swimming. Then on Tuesday I was in my son's classroom teaching a lesson. Wed-Fri back to work along with making dinner, cleaning up, putting kids to bed. Well my body sent me the signals that it was way too much because Friday afternoon I started to feel like crap. I was feverish, and achy and tired and on top of that I developed a head cold. So I've now decided that I need to rest more, which should have been my priority before. Honestly it's just so hard because I had been feeling better and felt like I could do more than I should have.
So today I've been in bed and plan to do the same damn thing tomorrow! I took Monday off work, so I only work two days next week and when I'm not working I shall be laying down! So frustrating but I think it will help.
Lesson of the day- Don't push yourselves ladies!